There's Always A Catch

Well, couldn't leave my favourite family alone, even if they aren't a real family. This time, on our trip into the homunculi world, Lust is offering to be nice…? And Pride's apologized to Envy…? Are we all going insane? Or what's the catch…? Not quite as good as the first, but still fun!

Things were going suspiciously well in the land of the homunculi. Envy couldn't help but be cautious as he walked down the passage that led to all the homunculi's rooms. He and Lust had had another fight, this time about Lust always coming into Envy's room and wrecking it. Of course, Envy had lost again, because there wasn't much he could do against the combined power of Lust and Pride. Since Lust usually hunted him down and beat him up after they saw Father, he was checking every corner before he passed it. So when Lust suddenly appeared out of the blue, Envy immediately turned around and started walking in the other direction, only to be confronted by Pride. Trapped between two of his older siblings, Envy moved into the middle of the remaining space, resigning himself to the idea of getting the shit beat out of him again. Lust moved a little closer, and smiled.

"Hello Envy." Envy backed up against the wall, and mentally groaned. Lust always started it.

"Hello Lust. What's up?" Sometimes if you kept them talking long enough, they forgot what they were doing. But Lust didn't usually smile like that… it was scary. Then she moved even closer, smiling in what she probably thought was a sweet way.

"Nothing Envy… I just wanted to-" Envy stopped listening here, mainly because his thoughts had drifted off in the 'Oh god, oh god, I'm going to die again' pattern, but then when nothing happened he blinked, and looked at Lust, surprised.

"What?" She smiled again.

"I want to say I'm sorry and I won't go in your room again. Infact, I have this for you…" She held out a small package, which Envy took cautiously. It wasn't below Lust to give him a bomb. Then something even stranger happened, and Pride moved forward.

"I've got something to say as well, Envy." Pride actually calling Envy by his name, in a vaguely nice way, was enough of a surprise to almost knock him over. He tried to turn to Pride, who was close on his other side, without taking his eyes off Lust. Eventually he found this impossible, and settled for looking at Pride instead. He was allowed to hit Pride. Pride looked back, looking, for once, innocent.

"I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for always putting you down, Envy. I'll stop." Lust chimed in from his other side.

"Yeah, I promise I won't go in your room anymore, or get you in trouble with Father!" This much nice behaviour from Lust and Pride made Envy nervous. Why couldn't they just tell him the worst and get it over with? Eventually, when it became clear that they weren't going to speak, Envy sighed, looking between them.

"What's the catch?" Pride and Lust exchanged a look, then grinned at Envy.

"Nothing! Just… we'd like you to do something for us in return." Envy rolled his eyes. They were so predictable.

"Like what?" Pride was smiling almost too wide to speak, and Lust looked way too sweet to be real.

"Nothing, Envy, really… just be our slave for a month." Envy stared for a while in shock, before shouting his denial and trying to bolt. Later, out on the street in the middle of town, not three feet from the Elrics, he sighed, and pulled his stolen coat around his body. Where Lust and Pride would usually have beaten the undying shit out of him, they had instead stripped him naked and dumped him where he was, after telling him that they were locking all the doors. Lust had to be getting help with these plans. Envy sighed again, and shivered, as the Elrics seemed to notice him, from the shock on Edward's face, and a particularly cold wind almost blew the coat away.

"There's always a catch."

Well? Okay, here's the story behind me and these fics, so I don't get ten million questions, if that many peeps read this junk. I'm Envy-centric because he's my fave, and I have Lust and Pride playing villains because I have siblings myself and know how things happen, and I just don't like Pride and Lust. Check out book ten for where I learned Pride's attitude, and Envy got his victim role.