Disclaimer: I wish I owned Sora; I tried to once, by wooing him with my singing. Then during the song Riku used a slingshot to get a jawbreaker in my throat and nearly choke me. I'm getting a restraining order against him…
Title: It Don't Get Any Better
Authoress: Tysonkaiexperiment
Warnings: Bad humor, meanness, and randomness
Couplings: XigDem, RiSo, and AkuRoku
Summary: Of course Cinderella really loved her stepmother, so much so she just couldn't leave. XigDem, RiSo, and AkuRoku. COMPLETE! Humor fic.
Note: If anyone has read the fabulous (and my favorite) manga, Our Kingdom, then you'll know where this is from. XD
Dedication: To Kiraracutie, who, as far as I know, got her internet to work again. LOVES!!
Once upon a time, there was a lovely maiden who was horribly abused from her stepmother…
'Why me?!' Demyx thought, his mind wailing as he dumped his sponge into the dirty water of the pail before tossing it onto the floor in anger.
"Cinderella! Are you done?" The stepmother, Xigbar asked, smirking from behind a fan. He watched as Demyx squeaked and turned to face him.
That's when Demyx started to screech. "HOW COULD I BE DONE SO FAST?! THE WHOLE HOUSE!?" He flung down the sponge and flailed his arms, wailing so that Xigbar had to put a finger in each ear with a 'snap' of his fan.
"Oh!" Xigbar sighed, "You're such a inept, inefficient child." He looked away and shook his head as he opened his fan to use it against his flustered face. There was another smirk from behind the fan, "On top of that, simple and naive as well."
"Don't call me simple!!" Demyx snapped to attention, glaring daggers at his stepmother before stomping his foot. Without realizing it, his foot snagged on the sponge he had used earlier and he lost his balance, falling into the disgusting waters of the pail.
"Hohoho!" Xigbar cried out, poking Demyx's nose—'Such a cute button nose!'—before smirking again, "That's why no one will have you for a bride!"
Cinderella vowed—one day she would pay her stepmother back!!
'Dammit! Just wait!' Demyx thought, clenching his fists as he tried to pull himself from the non-budging pail, 'After this, Cinderella meets up with the prince and gets back at the stepmother!!'
And so, the night of the ball, Cinderella received her fairy godmother…
'WHY ME?!' Roxas cried in the back of his head, black cap and hat covering himself up as much as he could so he could not be seen. Heaven knows none of his family or friends needed to know what he did for a living…
Demyx looked uneasy, sure the blond was a fairy, but was he capable?? 'Can I trust this guy?' He thought before a white light blinded him.
Cinderella was transformed by a wizard for one night of enchantment…
"Glamorous dress!" Demyx squealed, watching it flutter behind him before he looked back towards the wizard, "May I sell this?"
"No!" The wizard snapped, "I don't like you well enough to make a dress from scratch, after this night, it'll go back to looking like shit."
"Oh…" Demyx sighed, turning around to miss a sly redhead prince in a pink princess dress run by and kidnap the angered blond wizard. Of course, his mind was so troubled about how to get there; he completely missed the blond's words ("DON'T TOUCH ME THERE BASTARD!!") and sighed again ("MAKE LOVE TO ME ROXY!!") before turning around. "Fairy godmother…?" Shrugging at the boy's absence he decided to go through the garden and gain a ride on a pumpkin carriage that magically appeared there. Thanking the random wizard, by thoughts, he watched as the castle grew nearer and nearer until he was being escorted out of the carriage.
Upon setting his gaze through the castle, he noticed everyone was in a large circle and in the middle of the circle was the prince of the castle. Luscious Prince Riku, in al his glory, with shimmering silver hair and aqua eyes, was standing there looking as if he was bored and would be scarred for life. 'There's the prince of this castle!' Demyx thought excitedly, then paused as he noticed a few other men near the prince talking and looking in his general direction.
"What a beautiful maiden!" One gasped to his friend.
"I wonder who she is?" The friend replied, it quickly caught the attention of the young prince near them.
'YES!' Demyx thought quickly, 'I'll be able to get back at stepmother!'
The whole scene played out in his mind, "I'm sorry for everything I've done!" His stepmother would gasp, "Please don't abandon me!" His stepmother would be pitiful, on his knees, and begging for forgiveness.
And Cinderella, of course, would be gloating, "Well, I suppose I can keep you as a servant or something!!"
'ALL RIGHT!' Demyx's thoughts couldn't be happier, 'C'mere, my prince!' Though he paused for a second, 'He's not my type (plus he's a dude)…' Then he shook his head as the prince quickly approached, 'But beggars can't be choosers!!'
Suddenly the prince was near him, "I know not your name… Dear Princess…" He held out his hand…
… And grasped the hand of the boy right next to Cinderella…
"But will you dance with me?" And Prince Riku placed a kiss upon the boy's hand.
Sora's face was flushed, eyes wide as he looked around, "HUH?? ME??"
"Of course!" Prince Riku smiled; ignoring Demyx flailing and Sora's older twin brother, Roxas (in his second side role) flustering behind the boy.
"WAIT A SEC!!" Demyx cried out, grabbing the group's attention, "The prince is supposed to pick Cinderella!!" He pulled off one of his beautiful glass slippers, showing it to the Prince so that it shimmered in the lights of the palace, "Look! SEE?! GLASS SLIPPERS!! I wore them even though they hurt like hell!!" He was pointing towards them desperately as if to say 'look! Look!'
"Guards!" Prince Riku replied, confused on who this boy even was, "Take him away!"
"Quit changing the script!!" Demyx cried out in shock, using his glass slipper like a ninja and hitting the Prince square in the face with it. Everyone squealed as Demyx dodged the guards and tumbled out of the palace leaving Sora to fend for Prince Riku and Roxas to avoid the sly 'princess' after him.
And so it was… that Cinderella continued to be under the thumb of her stepmother…
'How could I ever let something so cute slip away?' Xigbar thought, smirking from behind his fan, "Hohoho! Work yourself to the bone young Cinderella!"
"WHO'S HAPPY!?" Demyx shouted, throwing the sponge into the pail and was unknowing to the two marriages taking place at the castle (one agreed and one forced, poor blondie).
And she was living happily ever after… (At least the stepmother was.)
Tke: I'm just the saddest storyteller ever, aren't I?
Reviewers get a Demyx plushie that has its bum stuck in a pail!