(a/n – so, this is dedicated to my dear friend Gabblar. It's very, very late compared to when I said I'd write it to you for, but life's been busy and stressful. Anyhow, my original Miranda university fic was quite well received, so I thought I'd do a little prequel. Enjoy!)
Packing
"But Mum, I don't WANT to go to university!" Miranda yelled along the hall. Moments later, Penny appeared.
"Darling, university will provide you with what I call, higher education, which will give you great employability prospects and help you find a man!"
"But Mum!"
"Get packing, darling! Such fun!"
"Mum, I-"
"Such fun!"
"You see tho-"
"Such fun! Such fun! Such fun!" And then Penny backed out of the room, leaving Miranda alone in her room with a suitcase and all of her stuff.
Miranda picked up the checklist which she had been given by the university, and began searching for all the things on it.
"Course acceptance letter. Check. Bank account details. Check. Chequebook. Check." She began to laugh. "Checked the chequebook, an absolute check of a chequebook checked. One always should check the chequebook on a checklist." She put on an American accent. "Check that chequebook man, though we call it a checkbook not a chequebook!" She then flipped back to her normal voice. "Better mind your Ps and Qs in the chequebook!" Penny entered.
"Darling, are you done?" Penny observed the scene before her. "Why do you have three things packed and that is all? You are leaving tomorrow! Get it done or I'll pack for you!" She left, and Miranda continued down the checklist.
"Insurance documents. Check. Student discount card. Check. Exam certificates. Check. Camera. Check."
Penny then reappeared with armfuls of goods.
"Darling, I've got you headphones so that you can listen to music without disturbing others. A TV so you can keep up on the news; an extension cable so you can charge the phone I've got you. A games console so that you can try and impress all the gorgeous, what I call, male students-"
"They are male students Mum, not what you call them! And thanks for this stuff but I still have packing to do!"
Several hours, four CDs and a lot of dancing later, Miranda was still no closer to being packed. Panicking, she shoved a whole bunch of clothes from her wardrobe into a suitcase, then raided her desk.
"Calculator, for business class. Books for every option. Why did I let Mum negotiate for me to try several courses? That means I get even more stuff to take! Where are all my course specific materials?"
Miranda was realising just how complicated it is to pack for university. She added several boxes of snacks to her suitcase, alongside a zebra mask, a giraffe dressing up costume, a cuddly dog, many CDs and, of course, Boggle. She dragged the case towards the door, whilst observing her bedroom which looked a lot more empty (not that she'd been in it that much of her life, what with going to boarding school).
"I cannot believe I have to go to uni-OW!" She fell backwards over a massive box which had been placed in the doorway by her Mum, its contents scattering everywhere. She picked it up and began replacing the stuff. "A student recipe book. A STUDENT RECIPE BOOK? Thanks, Mum!" She opened the inside cover and found an inscription.
'Darling, thought this might be useful – unless you manage to find a hot chef student. Such fun!'
Miranda snorted.
"As if I would ever find myself a hot chef student. The day I get with a hot chef student is the day my life is complete. Food and shenanigans. Now that would be such fun!"
She replaced the rest of the box contents, and found notes from Penny on most of it.
'This knife is quite sharp please don't get into, what I call, an accident.' 'You might want to practice with these, tong-work is quite hard.'
Miranda laughed.
"Oh Mother, my tongue work, I think you'll find, is excellent. Well, needs work. Maybe that's where my hot chef student will come in!"
She returned a glass, mug, plate, bowl, mattress protector, colander, masher, measuring jug, chopping board and coffee back to the box. And picked up a small package.
'Darling, I thought this could protect you. Be careful, poppet.' The note from her Dad was attached to a Swiss army knife, and Miranda was both terrified and excited by it. She spent the next ten minutes daydreaming about battling through the rainforest using her Swiss army knife.
Only once she opened her bedroom door to go to the kitchen did she see another packing gift from her parents. Well, mainly, she suspected, Penny.
"Mum! I'm going to have no room in my room!" She moaned to herself, then paused. "Room in my room, I hope it's roomie in that room."
She looked at a laundry basket filled with coat hangers, photos, ear plugs, cycling accessories, money, beer and condoms. Raising her eyebrows, Miranda dragged it into a corner of her bedroom and vowed never to take it to university. It was only when she looked at the clock and saw it was past midnight that Miranda decided to finally get some sleep as she had a long journey to university the day after.
Morning came, and Miranda entered the living room with her suitcase and the box of assorted items from her parents.
"Good morning darling, are you ready for, what I call, university?"
"Morning, poppet. I want to tell you that in winter, be careful of black ice on campus. Absolute death trap."
"So, what time is your train?" Penny asked, and Miranda froze.
"I forgot to book the train tickets!"
Six hours in a car with her parents, and Miranda was officially ready to move out and into her halls of residence. Upon arrival, she left, laden with the suitcases and boxes, and was staggering into the building when Penny shouted over to her.
"Darling, you forgot the laundry basket! What are you going to do if you meet with a hot chef student?"
Miranda smiled to herself.
"If I meet a hot chef student, we'll have such fun!"
-finite-
(a/n – I hope this is alright, Gabblar. I fear there isn't much plot, just a few Miranda-style jokes. But enjoy! Reviews and favourites are always loved!)