Four reasons Andy Schillinger OD'd
Andrew Peter Schillinger had four things happen to him before he died and each was a reason he decided death was far preferable to life.
REASON NUMBER ONE
I have been tempted on a least a couple of occasions to deep tongue him
"Did you hear?"
"What?"
"The Nazi fuck Schillinger's kid is coming to OZ"
"Aww sweet fucking family reunion"
"Yeah, 'cept the kids not going to gen pop, he's coming here, to Em City"
A random conversation that Toby heard, but his mind(s) went into overdrive, all two of them; the evil one that had been planted in his head, mostly by his treatment in OZ, that he named 'Beecher' and the fine, upstanding lawyer, husband and father, who was Tobias. It was mostly an even split as to who controlled the logic but there were times (in matters of sex especially) where Beecher had the upper hand and Beecher had been planning to seduce Andy, while Tobias wasn't happy with the idea, his weak voice drifted off behind the heavy tones of Beecher.
Neither of him had a full plan in mind(s) but the decision to fuck Andy had been implicit…then Toby actually saw the kid, and kid was the word; a chubby cheeked cherub with shiny, dark eyes, a pouty little mouth and shiny dark hair.
Nothing like his old man, that's for damn sure, in the dark recesses of his mind Toby admitted that Vern was sexy in a raw way, overpowering and animalistic, his appeal in his overtly male sexuality but the boy was cute and cuddly, like a puppy dog. Toby had heard Vern had a thing for Shirley Bellinger because she had looked like the late Mrs Schillinger and looking at that little Andy, that was believable.
No wonder Vern was worried about this kid in prison, an angel faced teenager who had a major drug addiction….open season for any dealers to ask for all sorts of 'payment' Toby was finding his brain was working on such scenario's, a particularly vivid one, (a gift from Beecher) took root and Toby felt his dick stir in his pants.
As Beecher told Tobias not to be such a pussy, that Andy was a filthy little racist murderer and a junkie and deserved everything he got, Tobias saw a little boy without a father figure an uncaring grandfather and a sociopath for a brother, easily led and desperate for acceptance. While Beecher said to exploit that weakness Toby sided with Tobias, he couldn't .
His conversations with Andy proved he was as unbelievably naïve as the baby face led you to believe.
His every breath asked for someone to be kind to him, to accept him, to love him, a hug, for any display of care which is why he had probably gotten into smack in the first place, Toby and Tobias were all too familiar with it's soothing properties.
While Toby (s) claimed no expertise in the area (t) he (y) could almost swear that Andrew had never experimented with guys. He was quiet about sex anyway, no mention of his own conquests when Chris or Ryan had a bragging contest, in fact he had looked downright embarrassed at times, even when he watched Miss Sally he wasn't as lascivious as the other guys. He also seemed to be completely oblivious to what his father did to other inmates, "Like we thought" Beecher's voice sneered in his head "pure as the driven"
Beecher was demanding that he dilute Andy's purity but Tobias, (with two sons of his own growing up without a father) cringed at the cold greedy lust Beecher's voice, Toby was also becoming alarmed of the rate Beecher controlled the cock, (t) he (y), eschewing the pictures of Genevieve in the head and replacing them with Chris, Ryan, Alvarez once, and even big daddy Vern himself (aaargh! Tobias yelled as he realized anew what OZ had done to him) Toby had always been quite free with his sexuality but it had always been with a degree of warmth, maybe not a girlfriend but at least a girl he liked as a friend, OZ had turned his sex drive into a cynical bastard, seeing potential sex partners as meat rather than people.
It had been pitiful, listening to Andy's whimpers and groans as he went cold turkey. Toby had gone through it himself, he was sure Andy could too but if he didn't help the kid then he'd never get any sleep and a lack of sleep could lead to him dropping the ball by getting snappish and any semblance of Vern was apt to push Andy away…deep down though Toby actually did feel pity for him, detoxing was hell.
He got down from his bunk and wet a towel, soothed Andy, held him through the shivers, generally was the parents that the kid had been deprived of in his short, sad, little life. When Andy fell asleep in his arms he laid him down gently (just like when Gary had the flu, then gave it to Holly, who gave it to the baby, Tobias reminisced) and covered him up. He heaved himself up onto his own bunk and tried to invoke Beecher by remembering all the vile things Vern had done to him, seemingly for amusement, and he clung onto how it felt the first time Vern's cock tore his flesh apart with it's blunt force, the shame when he felt himself cum and how Vern used to laugh. He desperately clung onto these images and begged Beecher to speak with his angry, hissing, manic nursery rhymes of hate and pain…anything to shut up Tobias' rationalizing;
Maybe if his mother hadn't died….
Vern was still Vern though and if that woman thought he was the right choice to breed with what makes you think she was any better a parent? She voluntarily married and fucked Vern, she got pregnant by him twice, how sane could the bitch be?….
You're not being fair, Andy misses her, she must have been a good mother
Yeah right, a mother who believes that the tone of someone's skin marks out their behavior
Even so, Beecher, these are Andy's parents, not Andy. He's not much more than child
You're gonna open the nature/nurture debate again are you, Tobias? That means that Gary will be an alcoholic or end up like baby Hitler down there..same circumstances…
Better parents, my parents raised me properly.
Yeah, fucking amazing job, look where we are tonight
It's more complicated than that, I made my own mistakes, I wasn't brainwashed
We're nothing like Harrison at all, a lawyer, married with kids, living in white collar enclave Broun Park..oh wait… You're a fucking idiot Tobias. The only difference here is the tax bracket, we were rich and the Schillinger's weren't.
The Schillinger's raised their children to hate and fear people of color,
You jumped into Vern's pod quick enough
You can't use that as an example, Adebisi was threatening me
And you never questioned how he didn't mess with Vern, you saw the black guy as a bigger threat. Admit it
Toby squeezed his eyes closed, trying to silence the cacophony in his head, eventually he slept.
Toby opened his eyes, it felt like he had only just closed them. The lights weren't on yet but the C.O from last night was chatting to the relief guy so it must be close to morning.
He listened for any indication that Andy was awake, silence. He jumped down and looked at the still form, the scratchy blanket pulled over his head, some silky, dark hair fanned over the pillow,
"Andy" Toby gave the shape a shake,
"Andy" he hissed, he shook the lump harder…nothing.
Just as Tobias was starting to worry, Andy's puffy faced emerged from under the covers with pale skin and bloodshot eyes,
"How you feeling?" he asked, crouching down
"Sore..my bones ache" Andy's voice sounded as scratchy as the blankets felt
"You want some water?"
Andy nodded, squeezing his eyes to re-focus "Uhumm" he nodded
Toby filled the cup and looked in the mirror, Beecher's eyes fell to the boy as he yanked the sheets back, Beecher's eyes moved, chilly blue, to Andy's rosebud lips, milky skin, his grubby t-shirt, his cutely ruffled hair, Beecher turned round and handed him the glass with a shark's smile "There you go, Andy"
Andrew smiled up and reached for the glass, draining it in one long gulp, handing it back to Beecher,
"Want some more?" Beecher asked, slyly. Tobias started to fret a little at the tone.
"Thanks, I can't believe you're being so nice after what my father did to you"
Beecher refilled the glass "You're not your father" he walked over to Andy and sat beside him "You're a totally different breed" he said brushing a stray strand of hair off of Andrew's forehead
The cynical eye of Beecher caught the dialation of Andy's pupils, the catch of breath and the tremble of his hand as he took the glass, keeping his hand on the glass, he slid his fingers over Andrew's and moved in for the kiss, gently pressing his lips to Andy's, barely touching, trying to judge the boy's reaction.
He felt Andy strain forward into the kiss and delighted in the hesitant shudder that trembled through the warm body he'd held tantalizingly close last night, except Tobias had held him and Tobias was no fun.
Beecher used his tongue to part Andrew's dry lips and groaned with pleasure, raising his hand to tangle it in the soft, dark mop. Andy met Beecher's tongue with his own but his hands stayed at his sides, he lifted them and then put them down again….unsure and awkward. It was the kind of slow, sensual kissing that he missed. The kind that was really a pre-amble, the tongue being Freudian in it's symbolism for what was going to happen soon.
Beecher was surprised at how good a kisser young Andy proved to be, tender and soft, teasing licks at the lips before his tongue seared deep. Fuck the hacks, fuck the plan Beecher wanted Andrew, wanted to get to his ass before Keller did, wanted to hold him tightly as he claimed his body.
The lights flew on overhead
"COUNT" came the yell, Andrew jumped back from his bed and the spell was broken
Beecher gave a wicked smile before departing, leaving Toby to deal with the consequences,
"You ok?" Toby asked, getting up, half fear crawling up his backbone
"Sure" Andy gave a wary, lopsided smile and pressed a chaste kiss to the older man's cheek, nothing more was said, but it didn't have to be.
Vern had his sons trained like his prags, once you learned what was expected of you, you sucked it up, did it and your life was easier.
On his way to the shower Toby smiled and gave the nod to Ryan and Chris.
Phase one was complete.