I felt his fist connect solidly with my face and it hurt. More than I would have thought. And I was surprised at how strong he was. Surprised at how out of control he was.
Okay, I'd sort of ignored a lot of stuff leading up to this. Ignored the fact that he was skipping class, that he was kind of hyper. That he was stealing money and spending money. That he was staying up all night writing songs.
What was I supposed to do? He was a teenager. They rebel. And Craig had kind of held off on his rebelling because of his father. Rebelling with him would have got him killed. But I was safe. He could push me away, test the limits, become the adult he'd become. I thought that was all it was.
I ignored Snake's worried face, his quiet words about something being wrong with Craig. Nothing was wrong with him a good grounding wouldn't fix. Snake tended to complicate things, to over exaggerate. I'd known Snake a long time and I was used to that. I ignored the fact that Snake works with teenagers and understands them in a way I don't.
I pushed on Craig's chest, trying to get him off of me but he kept punching, his face twisted with this rage. Dimly I could hear Angie and Caitlin pleading with him to stop, but he didn't seem to hear. When he was trying to leave and I wouldn't let him, when I grabbed him to make him stay I saw this look on his face. A stunned fear that turned to this rage so quick. But that look before the anger, that look made me want to almost cry.
I'd ignored the fact that Craig was damaged. It's partly Craig's doing, because he pretends that things are fine. All those times he'd come over when his mother was still alive, the times he'd come over after she died, the time at Spike's birthday party he seemed fine. He was getting beaten at home but he seemed okay, smiling and joking and never indicating that things were amiss.
His upraised arm and fist crashing down into me, into my shoulders and face, and I felt blood running from my nose, maybe from my lips. Still trying to push him off of me. This was the violence he'd been exposed to. I'd thought he was nothing like his father. Calm, creative, thoughtful, a good brother. So he'd had some rough times but I thought he'd sailed through. I turned my head away to avoid his fist crashing into my face again. I heard Angie scream. Craig sucked in his breath, nearly crying despite the anger twisting his features.
I didn't really know the extent of the abuse he'd suffered with Albert. We didn't talk about it. I'd seen the bruises when he first came to live with me, made him show me. And he had, he had lifted up his shirt and looked away while I stared. I'd seen the jumpiness, the flinching away. But things had slipped into a normal routine so easily, it was easy to put the abuse behind us. But maybe it was just easy for me, easier for me to ignore it since it didn't happen to me. I didn't know what he'd really gone through or how he adjusted. As his fist connected again and again with my body I was thinking he maybe hadn't dealt with it all that well.
"Craig, stop it!" I hadn't heard the door open but Ashley stood there, grabbed Craig's arm as he was about to hit me again and something in his eyes cleared as he saw her. The anger vanished and he smiled at her, cooed to her that he was glad she had come back. Angie and Caitlin ran over to me, and I rubbed my sore jaw.
I licked my lips, tasted the blood, warm and salty. Ashley was telling Craig that something was wrong and he needed help, and her face was crumbled around her tears. Craig looked at me then, the dawning realization of what he had done filling his face. Our eyes met. Maybe he realized I wasn't Albert. Maybe he thought he was more like Albert than he'd ever wanted to believe.