Kim Possible: So the Self Insertion, Part Duex
Chapter 1: Once More Through the Looking Glass
AN: Well folks here I am just returned from my honeymoon. Yes I know it's shocking but I finally want and got myself a ball and chain err I mean wife, so consider this my wedding gift to you all, another fic staring everyone's favorite Self Insertion character Jayson. Yeah I know I said this story would only be three chapters long, so I lied. Don't look at me like that, you act like you've never been lied to before. At any rate this story sort of picks up where the last one left off, but with a twist. This time Jayson has no memory of the KP universe, but everyone there remembers him, and some other people from out of town have come to visit too. Let the chaos and comedy ensue.
I.
"Are you sure about this Drew?"
"Wade my boy, we've been over things at least a dozen times, what could go wrong?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
"Well no, but I'm just saying we've made dozens of modifications to the WTF, sooner or later we'll have to give it a test run."
"Yeah, you're right about that." Wade sighed.
"Glad to hear you agree. Now let's get this party started yo."
Wade hesitated for a moment as he debated which was worse, Drew's misplaced confidence that they had finally worked out all of the bugs from the WTF or his attempts to be "cool and with it". Sitting down at his own computer terminal in the lab, Wade made a mental note to get with Zita and update both his life insurance and will first thing tomorrow.
After several minutes of planning, preparing, promises and maybe a pray or two, the dynamic duo of Lipsky and Load once again activated the technological wonder they called the Worldwide Teleportation Facilitator or WTF for short. And once again the machine lived up to it's nick name by producing predictable results. As the ventilation fans worked overtime to clear the lab of black smoke Wade was the first to recover his wits and rushed to examine the results of their latest failure. Simply put he was not amused at what he saw.
"Well Drew, what do you figure are the odds of this happening?" Wade asked as his partner in high tech mayhem and cyber chaos joined him in examining the wreckage of a familiar looking car, and its familiar looking occupant, which sat in front of them and not more than thirty feet from the WTF.
"In our cases, I would say the odds were pretty good." The blue skinned former evil scientist and 50 percent owner of Lipsky and Load LLC replied. "But this does raise one even more pressing question."
"And what could that possibly be?" Wade asked.
"Who's going to tell Kim and Shego about this?"
As the two waited for the last of the smoke to clear from the lab they debated, discussed, and down right argued who was going to break the bad news to Kim. Finally it was decided that a simple game of paper; rock; scissors would decide who had the hard job, that of telling Kim, and who had the easy job, that of cleaning up the mess made by the car that crashed through the WTF and taking care of its occupant Jayson.
"Ha, scissors beats paper. That means you have to tell Kim." Drew gloated as he began to dance a little jig.
"No need to rub it in." Wade grumbled as he went to his computer to try and contact Kim.
Thinking that Wade was out of earshot, Drew pressed an intercom button which terminated at a desk occupied by an attractive Puerto Rican woman. While on the company's organizational chart she was listed as the secretary, in many ways she was really the brains of the outfit, or at the least she was the common sense.
"Zita, I need you in the lab." Drew said, "Oh and have a couple of the henchmen come here too."
"Yes Mr. Lipsky."
Drew began to correct her about his name, "Call me Dr…"
"Drew!" Wade shouted. "Calling in help is cheating, and you had the easy task."
"What?" Drew asked innocently, "You never said I couldn't ask for help."
"Fine then, I intend to do that next time."
"Next time?"
"Yes next time. I wasn't able to contact either Kim or Shego, so they don't know about our guest yet."
As the two geniuses were discussing this; their little argument was soon interrupted by the arrival of Zita and two of Drew's former henchmen Ralph and Anderw. "Ok Mr. Lipsky we're here, now what do you need?"
"Oh this ought to be good." Wade muttered to himself.
"Ahh, yes. Zita, Ralph, Andrew, I need your help cleaning up something in the lab, namely that." Drew explained as he pointed towards the crumpled form of familiar looking car not thirty feet away from the WTF.
"Ahh boss, we did that once already." The head guard with the pot belly and wearing the five o'clock shadow named Ralph complained.
"Yeah boss, it's like déjà vu all over again." The second guard Andrew added.
"Where's the driver? I don't see him or her anywhere." Zita asked, "You did get the driver out of the car didn't you?" After a moment of silence Zita pressed the issue. "Well, did you or didn't you?" She asked while crossing her arms.
"Err, that's why I called you here, to help with that." Drew answered under Zita's withering glare.
"I can't believe this. Ralph, Andrew, you're with me." Zita ordered as she stormed towards the car, the rest of her thoughts on the topic coming out in a stream of Puerto Rican.
"Now hold on, I give out the pay cheques around here, so I give the orders." Drew started to protest.
"Actually boss, you and the kid have forgotten to do that on a few occasions. But Ms. Flores always makes sure we get them on time." Andrew said before quickly joining the other two at the car.
II.
"Ow." Jayson groaned. Between his pounding head and general feeling of disorientation, he vaguely recalled the sage advice that he had heard Captain Montgomery Scott once gave, never get drunk unless you're willing to pay the price the next day. To bad he didn't remember getting drunk in the first place. Slowly opening his eyes Jayson brought his hand up to help shield them from the bright light. In the time it took for his eyes to adjust before he could open them fully, Jayson realized that he was lying on a bed. After a couple of moments to allow his eyes to the world around him, Jayson slowly brought himself to a sitting position and began to take in his surroundings.
He was on some sort of cheap bed, sort of like the type he had seen in various old war movies. The whole room looked a lot like the type of barracks that he had seen in those movies, only with fewer beds, and far fewer people for that matter. Bringing himself to his feet Jayson began to make his way to what looked like the bathroom. As he passed by several other bunks he noticed that not a one of them had any sheets on them, as if they weren't being used. To be exact, at that particular moment Jayson was the only person in the room. Finally arriving to the bathroom area Jayson filled a sink with water and proceeded to splash the water on to his face a couple of times as if doing so would suddenly make everything make sense. But looking back at him in the mirror was the same guy standing in the same latrine in the same open barrack style dormitory that he had been in earlier. But if he was confused before then he was about to really be thrown for a loop.
"How are you feeling?"
Snapping his head up in surprise Jayson wasn't prepared for who he saw. He looked at the person before him and blinked, and then blinked again. Yeah he was going to have to ask his doctor to adjust his meds, he thought, either that or never drink his cousin's moonshine again.
"What's the matter, don't you recognize me?" The young woman asked.
I must be going crazy, Jayson thought, its one thing to think you're seeing cartoon characters in front of you, it's quite another when they act like they know you.
"Ahh yeah I do recognize you." Jayson said slowly, "Just wasn't expecting you to say anything though."
The woman looked at him funny. "What do you mean?"
"Well usually when you dream the other people in your dream don't talk, at least not like how we are."
"So you think this is a dream?"
"Well yeah."
Walking towards Jayson the woman began to run her hand along his head as if looking for injuries.
Jayson felt the warm and gentle touch of the hand against is temple and it took a couple of seconds for what that touch meant to register in his mind. Suddenly jumping back as if her touch was poisonous, Jayson began to back away while his mouth opened and closed several times with out producing any sound for several seconds until he finally managed to utter the first coherent thought he had. "Zita, you're real."
"Umm yeah, last time I checked."
"But, but you're a cartoon."
"In your world maybe, but not in this one."
Oh yeah, Jayson thought, I'm REALLY going to have to tell the doc to adjust my meds. It's a bad thing when you're delusions start reading your mind.
III.
Later that day a familiar conversation was taking place in a conference room that was often used for such things.
"Okay everyone lets review." Wade said to the people assembled around the conference table.
"Didn't we do this once already?" Drew asked.
"Yes we did. And apparently the gods were displeased so they're punishing us by making us do it again."
"Funny Wade, real funny."
"Can you two please argue later? We really should focus on how this happened again and what we're going to do about Jayson." Zita interrupted.
"Excuse me, but can I say something?"
"Yes, No, Later." Were the three simultaneous answers that Jayson received.
"Drew this is the second time that the WTF has brought Jayson from his universe to ours. Don't you think that's a bit strange?" Wade argued.
"Well not as strange as the time that we had that one eyed one horned flying purple people eater come through and boy it sure looked strange to me." Drew countered.
"Ok, I'll concede that point."
"Focus you two." Zita instructed.
"Ok so could these occurrences be caused by gravitational distortions caused micro singularities?" Wade asked.
"I think it's fluctuations in the dimensional frequency caused by spikes in the electrical system." Drew suggested.
"Could it be that the WTF is incapable of opening in this dimension?"
"How long will it take to fix it and send him back?" Zita asked.
"Probably about as long as last time."
"But what do we do with him in the mean time?"
Suddenly a loud growling noise disrupted the discussion.
"Sorry about that." Jayson said sheepishly, "But that was what I wanted to talk about, I'm starved, is there anyway I could get something to eat?"
"Fine, take him to the kitchen," Drew directed, "I'm supposed to meet with a team from Global Justice in about an hour to show them my latest invention anyways."
"Wouldn't that be our invention?" Wade countered
"What do you mean our invention? I'm the one who invented it, I'm the one who worked on it, I'm the one showing it to Global Justice."
"Yeah, but we're a partner ship, fifty fifty."
"But I created this device before we started our little partnership, so our agreement isn't applicable…"
"Come on," Zita whispered to Jayson, "We'll go and get something to eat and leave these two to argue."
"Not to be to nosey on my first visit here, but those two fight like and old married couple. Umm their not, um you know, batting for the other team are they?"
Zita looked at Jayson for a moment before it dawned on her what he meant. "No, at least not that I know of, although that would explain a few things. And what do you mean by your first visit here? Don't you remember being here just a couple of weeks ago?"
"Sorry not a thing." Jayson said as he shook his head no. "Are you sure you got that right guy?"
"Well how many different Jaysons could there be?"
"Beats me," Jayson shrugged, "But if quantum theory is true then there could be an infinite number of parallel universes with me in it. Maybe they dialed in to a different universe and pulled a different me this time."
"I guess that's possible, although that sort of stuff is really above my head," Zita conceded. Once the two had made their way to the kitchen, they began to scrounge for something to eat. "How is your head?" Zita asked.
"Well it doesn't hurt, but it sure is spinning."
"That's one way of putting it."
"So what's to eat around here?"
"Usually they keep the kitchen fairly well stocked, so what ever you want to make I guess."
"Make? As in cooking? That my dear would be a bad idea."
"How bad can you be? Certainly not any worse than Kim is. But there is one way to find out if you're really a different Jayson or not, the "other", As Zita added air quotes, "Jayson could cook a really good omelet. What do you say, what to show me what you've got?"
Twenty minutes later a coughing Zita and Jayson were desperately trying to remove from their lungs the same smoke that was pouring out of the kitchen.
"I take it back," Zita said between coughing fits, "you are as dangerous as Kim in the kitchen."
"Actually you said, cough cough, as bad, not as dangerous. And I tried to warn you about you insisted that I cook something." Jayson pointed out.
"Well one thing's for sure then, you're not the same guy that was here last week."
AN: Ok everyone, here is a quick, sneak peak at the next chapter of my story. Hopefully this will keep people interested.
Kim Possible: So the Self Insertion, Part Duex
Chapter 2: Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun
I.
To Kim it was just like old times. Here she was fighting Shego in one of Drakken's labs, and Ron, her best friend since Pre-K and now fiancé, had her back. It seemed like nothing could mess up her life now.
"Hey Princess how come your still with that loser? And here I thought he was the think headed one." Shego teased as she looked for an opening in her opponent's defenses.
"So not liking you mocking my fiancé." Kim replied angrily. "Besides, how come you're still with that loser Drakken? Not good enough of a henchwoman any more to be hired by anyone else?"
"Touché Princess, and congratulations."
This brought Kim up short. "What?"
Kim's momentary break in concentration by the compliment was just long enough for Shego to land a blow to Kim's solar plexus. Falling to the ground as the air rushed out of her lungs, Kim could only watch helplessly as Shego ran past her and towards the Drakken and Ron.
"Get away from me you buffoon." Drakken yelled as he held the remote control for his Subspace Teleportation Device or STD, up in the air with one hand while his other was attempting to keep Ron away.
"Come on man, can't you remember my name at all? I mean how many years now have we been doing this?" Ron complained as attempted to snatch the remote away. Each time he had made a grab for the device he had succeeded in pushing Drakken backwards a little until finally the mad scientist found himself backed in to a corner. Ron was about to grab for it again when he heard a voice behind him.
"Ah ah ah, no touchy the remote." Shego purred in to Ron's ear as she let him feel the heat radiate against his neck from one of her plasma engulfed hands. "Now back away from Dr. D nice and slow."
Backing away like he was told, Ron was beginning to wonder about Kim since Shego wasn't with her.
"Oh don't worry, your little finance is fine." Shego said as she pointed towards a still wheezing Kim.
As Ron rushed to Kim's side, Drakken in the absence of any physical danger, again found his semi self confidence. "Shego, we're leaving," he announced as he activated the STD. With a flash of light a blue energy field opened up and Drakken calmly strode in to it.
"Later losers." Shego said with a sarcastic smile as she turned her back on them.
"Not this time." Kim grunted as she got to her feet. "Ready Ron?"
"Ready KP."
Soon both Kim and Ron were rushing towards Shego in an attempt to tackle her. Hearing Ron's heavy footfalls, Shego ignited her plasma and turned to face the approaching threat. Unfortunately for her Ron's much heavier and clumsier footfalls had masked Kim's approach, so that when Shego had turned to deal with the approaching threat it has already practically in her face. Kim's body crashed in to Shego with enough force from the impact to propel the two women towards the STD. As Shego's plasma lit hand entered the blue energy field, there was a surge of power and the energy field turned to green before the device began to belch dark smoke from its various components that were being burnt out. By the time Ron arrived to the device it had already shut down both Kim and Shego where no where to be seen.