The Random Misadventures Of The Tekken Crew
Chapter 1: Smart, Reasonable Comedy...Sort Of

Disclaimer: You probably know that I don't own Tekken. And I don't.

DUN DUN.........Movie Trailer guy voice From the man who brought you the critically acclaimed (not really) "Moving In"...in association with his friend Jason...comes a story...that is sure to win a zillion awards or more...and that is...really...really...random...and yet not all the way at the same time, but enough to call it "The Random Misadventures of the Tekken Crew"...about 3/4 random...read the damn story.

To say that Kazuya Mishima's morning ritual was like any normal person's would be completely out of line. For one thing, Kazuya has the devil gene, so that's not normal. Another thing is...his father owns a bear that dances and wears sneakers. Now that's not normal, that's just...weird.

Anyway, Kazuya woke up, showered, brushed his teeth, shaved, dressed, and all that stuff, but as he was going down the stairs...he tripped and fell down the 3 flights of stairs of the Mishima compound. Kazuya landed in front of his son, Jin, who was on his way to school.

"Dad? Are you okay?"

Kazuya did not move.

"Oh...MOM! DAD FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AGAIN!!" With that, Jin walked out the door and began his walk to school.

As the door slammed, Jun Kazama entered the room.

"Oh dear, not again!" Jun walked over to her fallen husband and dragged him into the kitchen, where his father, Heihachi, and adopted brother, Lee, were eating breakfast.

"What did he fall over this time?" Lee asked, picking up the newspaper and beginning to read it.

"Nothing that I could find, I believe he tripped over his own shoes..." Jun responded, hauling Kazuya into a chair and placing a cup of coffee in front of him. Kazuya blinked, saw the coffee, and immediately took the cup and guzzled it down. (No, he didn't eat the cup, moron.)

"That's the stuff!" Kazuya exclaimed, standing up straight and tall, picking up his briefcase, and running out the door.

Lee blinked, then tilted his head, then blinked again. "What the hell...were those a new pair of sneakers?"

Heihachi responded to this statement by hitting Lee over the head with the rolled up newspaper. "Idiot."
If you thought that Jin wasn't being stalked by Xiaoyu, then you were WRONG. In fact, she's 12 feet behind him now.

"What?"

Shut up, Jin, you're not an important character. In fact, we're cutting away from you and leaving what happens to you up to the readers.

"Assho--"

While on his way to work, sitting in the subway, Kazuya encountered the homicidal, soul-eating, psychopath known as Toshin.

"Oh...hi...Toshin..."

Toshin did not respond, but only acknowledged his presence with a simple nod. Kazuya persisted in trying to make conversation. "Lovely day, isn't it?"

Toshin stared at Kazuya for a few seconds, before breaking the awkward silence, "Shut up." and starting the silence again.

Finally, someone who isn't in the Mishima family. Mokujin lay strapped to a table as a chainsaw was revved up in the backgrou--..................

You know what? Let's go back to Kazuya and Toshin.

"Hey Toshin. Want to do something fun?"

"...No."

"Want to go get some food?"

"I have evolved past your human food. I feed on the souls of the living, and feast on the flesh of your children!"

Kazuya laughed childishly and punched Toshin's arm. "Stop that! You silly."

"...Piss off."

"But I'm having so much fun!"

Toshin then proceeded to Plan B of Operation Shut Kazuya Up by decking him. As a severed-in-half Mokujin lie dead, he bore the words that were viciously carved into him by what had the hand writing of a seven-year-old mountain gorilla. "B.D. and F.J. forever"

But as Mokujin lie motionless in a pool of his own sap, a metallic version of his former self rose just like a true badass in a high budget sequence that cannot be shown in this story because I'm broke. (Hey. That sounds like a comic book. You know, guy dies and a new badass version of himself gets up and just decides he'll fight crime? Awesome.)

As the new Mokujin (Tetsujin) moved to the exit, a strange slime that appeared to be Nickelodeon produced, spilt all over his new metallic form.

From the shadowy shadows, Ashton Kutcher leapt out in front of him. "Ha! You just got PUNK'D!"

Unknown to Kutcher, Testujin has an allergic response to Nickelodeon slime. Tetsujin began to burn, and he dropped to the floor twitching.
A/N: Well. Tell me what you guys think. Be nice. Don't make me come over there. I don't know what I'll do, but I'll come over there...with a bat.