A/N: Ahh, I know I'm working on 3 other chaptered fics, but I had to get something special out in honor of Kenny's b-day (today!) so I came up with a little idea that won't take up all my time (hooray!). This story is going to be another oneshot collection kind of thing, but there's no word limit (yay). The idea is that I'll write a quick little drabbley oneshot for each main character's birthday (that we know of-ay.) and post it on their birthday. Sound cool? Cool. Next is Kyle, I think, on May 26. Correct me if I'm wrong, please.

Oh, and btw: this isn't the best story I've written so far (is it ever?), but it is the most sarcastic. So don't take it too seriously, okay? Okay.

disclaimer: south park belongs to matt & trey, kenny's bday is today... (that was supposed to be a little poem... hehe)

March 22

On Stan's last birthday, he flew us all to Disneyland for three days. It was seriously the most awesome time I've had in years.

On Kyle's last birthday, he invited me, Stan, and Butters to Casa Bonita (that wasn't too fun, though, because Cartman ruined the whole trip.)

On Cartman's last birthday, the whole class was invited to his house. He had the most awesome shit there – clowns, a Ferris Wheel, enough cake to last my family a month.

But on my birthday? No trips. No rides. No cake.

I'm sitting at home, listening to Mom and Dad fight. Dad still hasn't realized what day it is, and I doubt he will at all. Kevin came in a couple minutes ago and wished me a happy birthday, which was nice of him, I guess… I never see him anymore, 'cause he's always at a friend's house or something. I don't blame him. Our house sucks.

I'm so glad Kyle and Stan offered to take me to the movies. Mom gave me two bucks as a birthday gift, and Kyle's paying for the rest of my ticket. It feels so weird to have someone else pay for my birthday party, but it's better than nothing…

It's just- it's so weird that one day I'm gonna look back on this, my tenth birthday, my entrance into double digits, and what am I gonna remember? Am I going to want to remember?

Happy Birthday to me…

God, this sucks. I'm, like, depressed. On my birthday.

You know what would suck even more? If I died today.

Happy Deathday to me…

Wouldn't that just be the cherry on a perfect day?

But then again… maybe Damien and his dad would throw me a party if I died. Hmm. Should I… go see…?

It might be kinda fun. Money doesn't really matter down there, so I could have a really big party…

Ah, screw it. No suicide on my birthday. That's just… wrong. Disturbing. Slightly ironic. 'Sides, I do wanna spend time with Stan and Kyle and Cartman. They're my friends (yes, even Cartman) and they care for me (okay, maybe not Cartman), and I want to celebrate with them.

You know what? I don't think I need a huge party. Just me and my close friends… this'll be nice, I guess.

As nice as a birthday can get when your dad's drunk, your birthday dinner consists of frozen waffles, and you're trying your hardest not to get brutally murdered by runaway trucks, falling pianos, electrical sockets, mutated turkeys, or Mr. Garrison.

Yup, I love my birthday.