Warm clouds of poison radiate through my upper respiratory system, superbly calming my nerves. I'm watching the smoke pour out of me, slowly filling the entire police station. There are times when my job was rewarding, times when I really accomplish something. Now is not one of those times. Maybe I am accomplishing something by keeping these ahou off the streets, but the part I have to play in it is by no means a reward.
The man so pertinently dubbed Broom-Head and another that the good doctor liked to call Rooster Head have both gotten on my bad side- not that it isn't a common mistake. It doesn't take much more than the capacity for stupidity, which these two possess in droves.
Chou, the Sword Hunter, hailing from Kansai, makes up one half of the ahou duo in the cell they share. He was carrying six swords when I arrested him, and angling for another, which it hurts me to say I'm glad the Battousai got. Normally I'm not an especial fan of the Battousai getting anything, particularly a weapon, but in this case, I have to say justice was served. The Battousai got the Reverse Blade, which is the silliest contraption I've yet to see labeled as a sword… second maybe to the fencing foil, but maybe not even that. Still, he used it to take down a legitimate terrorist threat, so I won't laugh. The hick from Kansai got his stint here. Lucky me.
I wrote the report of the incident that led to his capture, and I have it here. He showed up at the knife shop run by the son of that famous swordsmith a little after the Battousai had left, demanding the last work of the smith's. Apparently he's a big collector. Whatever. He took the shop owner's kid and went to the temple where the sword was kept. The Battousai of course interrupted him, purely for the kid's sake, I'm sure. It had nothing to do with getting the parents to give him that sword, or the opportunity to steal it. Right. Actually, I guess I really can't see the Battousai stealing anything, what with that damn-near Communist philosophy of his. Imperialist bullshit. Anyway, the Battousai did end up getting the kid back to the parents and making my job one Juppon Gatana member easier, so I guess all's well that ends well. Or it ends well for anyone who doesn't have to babysit the ahou after he's caught.
I have a little more history with the other one. Another Imperialist of a different faction, he's just as Commie as the Battousai, if not more so. He even took a second name. Named himself after his chief Commie, Sagara. Sagara Sanosuke. A ridiculous name if ever I heard one. After that initial tension, they got to be close friends and have been riding my ass ever since they decided to start hanging around Tokyo with the Tanuki girl. I have enough charges to keep him locked away forever, gang affiliation, outstanding debt, public intoxication, disturbing the peace, disorderly conduct, aggravated assault, the list goes on, but hell if I'll let him stay here any longer than necessary. Even once the Broom Head leaves, Sagara'll be a bitch to keep around. It won't be half as bad without their constant bickering, though.
I've given up by now on trying to make them shut up. They get damn animated and can't see anything but each other's insults. You can't reason with an ahou, and two ahou effectively block reason out of the picture completely. With what these shits have done, there's not much hope they'll be out of here very soon. I guess I'm stuck with them for now.