PEERED OUT
The words stared back from the paper ugly and damning. Her hands shook lightly as she looked down at the single sheet evaluation in her hands. What should have been a happy day for her was just proving to be another in a long line of sucktastic days, another stumbling block in her life long search.
It wasn't as though she didn't know this could happen. From day one at the Academy they were being constantly evaluated. "Anything," they said, whether it was grades, weapons trainings, or peer evaluations could cause you to be dismissed from training. She had seen it happen before, two other cadets were released for failing weapons qualifications and a small handful were dropped after each chapter exam. But she had studied, kept her head down, qualified, and got to know her fellow cadets as much as she felt comfortable. It had all been for naught.
"Cadet Jones, are you listening?" Her head snaps up breaking her out of her thoughts. Across from her sat the disapproving face of Senior Instructor Sandra Martinez. Busted, she ducks her head, "sorry ma'am," she mumbled. Outside she could hear the happy chatter of her classmates. Words like "Cairo", and "Washington", and "Advanced School" flitted through the closed door. Words that celebrated where her classmates would be beginning their careers.
"You'll get sent a final check to your home of record in a few weeks." Martinez tells her. Inwardly, she scoffs. Her address, like her name and carefully crafted backstory were all a means to an end. Rebecca Jones was the only daughter of a single mother; she had two brothers, and had graduated from a large mid-western state university. Her record was pristine, not even so much as a traffic ticket marred her reputation.
But it wasn't enough. She wasn't an Academy ring knocker or a Ivy League graduate. Frankly, she just lacked the resources to truly permeate the inner circle. The Yale grad in her class couldn't find a clue with two hands and a map but he was on his way to Cairo with three of his fraternity brothers, his connections keeping him from receiving a similar piece of paper while she will receive a one-way ticket home.
"For what it's worth Cadet Jones I do hope you try again. I think you would be one hell of an asset." Martinez looks at her, "Take some time and think about it. Reapply in a year." Jones nods, stands up, and sticks her hand out. Martinez takes it and gives it a firm shake.
"I'll think about it."
But it's a lie. When she leaves here in a few days Cadet Rebecca Jones will stay behind, her final check will go to a post office box in Michigan. It will never get cashed. She will reinvent herself again and look for yet another path to find what she is seeking.