A/N: I'm supposed to be doing my homework. Why am I not doing my homework?
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the notebook (which is supposed to be containing my add maths mind you) that I wrote this in.
Enjoy :)
Elvendork
It was a bright Saturday morning and the Marauders were in the least likely place that someone would expect them to be on a day like today: the library. Remus had dragged the other three protesting miscreants in to his haven, insisting that they needed to study as NEWTs were just a few weeks away.
"How long do we have stay here?" Sirius drawled, staring at the hefty tome that Remus had placed in front of him with disdain. He was bored stiff and had taken up rearranging the library books with his wand in order to help curve his annoyance.
"You're supposed to be studying, Padfoot," Remus chided gently, without looking up from his book.
James laughed. "Come on Moony, you can't expect us to want to stay inside on a day like this, do you? Even Wormtail wants to go outside, and you know he jumps at any chance to get extra studying done with you."
Peter nodded. "It's true. You may be taking this whole studying thing to a whole new level, Remus. I mean, look around! No one is here except for us!"
"Fine," Remus bristled. "You lot can go outside and play a sodding game of quidditch, for all I care. But when you all are cramming, I'll be there laughing. Especially when you're cramming for," he peered at the title of Sirius's book, "History of Magic."
"Oh please," Sirius scoffed. "History of Magic is easy."
"Really?" Remus asked dryly.
James nodded. "Of course it is! How can someone forget names like those? Wilberforce…"
"Bathsheba…" Sirius said.
"And Elvendork," the two chorused together, wearing identical grins.
"Who in Merlin's name was called 'Elvendork'?" Remus said incredulously while Peter laughed behind them.
Sirius 'tsked' him. "And you're yelling at us. Tell him who Elvendork is, Prongs."
"Why, Elvendork was the first goblin who died in the Goblin Rebellion of 1612! How could you not know about that, Moony?" James asked, smirking.
"But…,"Remus started flipping through the textbook. "But I don't have it in my notes, nor is it in the textbook!"
James and Sirius roared with laughter. "It's not in the textbook you daft boy. Binns told us that some classes ago."
"And why don't I have it written down?"
"We don't know," they replied together.
Remus groaned, sliding back down on to his chair. He held out his hand. "Right then. Lend me your notes so I could copy it down."
"I didn't write it down," James said.
"Neither did I," grinned Sirius.
Remus looked from one to the other. "Then how the hell did you remember that?"
"Because Remus," Sirius said trying to placate him.
"The guy's name is Elvendork. It's not something one can easily forget," James finished.
"Elvendork was a bloke?" Sirius asked confusedly, "Nah, mate. I think you're wrong. Elvendork was most definitely a bird."
"You sure?" James said, obviously befuddled. "I've never met any girls named Elvendork."
"I've never met any guys named Elvendork," Sirius countered.
"I've never met anyone who even considered naming their child Elvendork!" Remus exclaimed, exasperatedly.
"Well, you know what this means, Padfoot," James grinned.
"I believe I do, Prongs," Sirius smirked.
And then together, the two of them said: "Elvendork is unisex!"
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