Justin stepped off the train and looked around; the station looked exactly the same as he remembered. He glanced up and down the platform but no welcoming committee hurried forward to shake his hand, no marching band played the heroes welcome. He grinned to himself, Becca's prophecy about him actually enjoying this trip looked like being fulfilled after all, at least he'd finally managed to see the funny side.
She'd read it out to him at breakfast while he was trying to decipher a student's appalling scrawl, it was meant be an essay on Oscar Wilde but it might well have been Egyptian hieroglyphics for all he could decipher. "Hey, it says here Hollyoaks Comp is having a reunion next month to celebrate its twenty fifth anniversary" He looked at her from over the paper, face inscrutable. "You going then?" he asked with a measure of sarcasm. "As if!" she laughed "But you could go" she retorted smiling. She dropped the paper in front of him and scooped Will from his high chair, bearing him off to the bathroom. He picked the paper up and dropped it on the table, Lissa always keen to add new words to her vocabulary asked between mouthfuls of cereal "What's a reunion Dad?" Without raising his eyes from the undecipherable mess in front of him he answered "Hell on earth" marking it with a bright red D and dropping it onto the finished pile.
He had no trouble finding a taxi, a midday train in the middle of the week brought few passengers and the line of bored looking cabbies stretched away in a long line. "The Grosvenor, mate" he requested as he climbed in the back of the nearest one, throwing his overnight bag on the seat next to him. The most prestigious hotel she could find he rued, served him right for leaving the entire organisation to Becca, always keen to impress. She hadn't mentioned it again but mysteriously the paper appeared in key spots for most of the next week till she raised the subject again. They were laid spoon like on the sofa, Becca watching some documentary and him dozing. Will's ability to wake them in the early hours hadn't diminished since his birth and nine months of it was beginning to take its toll. "You should go" He opened one eye lazily "Go? Go where? If you're wanting pizza at this hour..." "Home, for the reunion" "Last time I checked this was home" he replied and closed his eyes but she wasn't about to let the subject drop. "You know what I mean" she said exasperated at his wilful misunderstanding. "Becca let it drop, I'm not going and that's final" "But it would be a chance to show everyone how well your doing, catch up with friends, see everyone" At this he sat up, fully awake now, "Subtle, Becca!" he pushed her out of the way, stood up and paced off into the kitchen. She knew his weak spots and Mel was the biggest one, she followed him into the kitchen, "Just think about it, yeah?" Before he could retort, a baby's wail floated down from upstairs. She grimaced "He's early!" She moved off in the direction of the stairs, but turned before she left the kitchen and smiled at him "Just think about it" He watched her retreating back, marshalling all the arguments against it, knowing he would give in anyway. She could talk him into anything, he shook his head and grinned, he was such a pushover. He switched off the light and followed her up the stairs.
After unpacking his bag he tried to ring her but could only get voicemail. He checked his watch realising that with it being half term Lissa would be joining the daily trip to the park with Will and her phone would be switched off. He missed her already, it felt strange to be back here without her. Breakfast had been chaotic as usual, Lissa trying to eat cereal, read a book and balance Rabbit on her knee all at the same time and Becca torn between keeping an eye on her and feeding Will, egg dribbling down his chin. They barely had time for conversation before the taxi arrived and he was on his way out after a brief kiss. He rummaged around in the bag and dug out his itinerary, might as well check the timings. Becca had printed out from the school website a list of events over the week, the highlight being a retro prom for pupils and staff old and new. He tried his hardest to persuade her to come with him but the logistics of overnight babysitters and her reluctance to open up old scandals put paid to it. He still wasn't sure why he was here, he viewed the whole thing as an ordeal but he couldn't ignore the opportunity to see Mel. His stomach grumbled and looking again at his watch realised it was well past lunch and he needed to eat. He grabbed his jacket and went in search of late lunch. He reached the lobby and looked in the restaurant which was still serving but on impulse he turned and left the hotel, he'd remembered a charming little pub, nicely situated down by the river...
He stood outside the Dog and stared up at it, it too was unchanged. He felt he could push open the door and it would be a time warp back eight years, Frankie and Jack behind the bar, Darren winding up Steph and Becca standing uncomfortable with Jake. The thought of Jake made him suddenly turn around and glance behind him, but he was alone. Ghosts he thought and shivered. He pushed open the door and walked up to the bar, a familiar voice barking out orders but out of view. Suddenly Jack appeared in the doorway from upstairs and seeing a customer quickly walked over to the pumps. He glanced at Justin, wrinkling his brow as if trying to place the face and asked "What can I get you?" Justin grinned inwardly, Jack hadn't recognised him otherwise undoubtedly he would be unceremoniously ejected, the Deans had long memories. "A pint please and sandwiches if you're still doing them?" At the sound of the voice, Jack looked up from the pump again brow furrowed in recollection but still calling nothing to mind suddenly asked "Do I know you son?" "I don't think so" he replied, Becca wouldn't thank him for this, better to have stayed away. He took the pint and handed over the money, retreating from the bar and finding a seat furthest from Jack. He looked at his watch, he still had a couple of hours to kill before his appointment and then on to school for seven. He nursed his drink for half an hour aware of scrutiny every time Jack returned to the bar. His phone suddenly broke the quiet, beeping wildly and he grabbed it and answered "Becca! Hi!" without thinking. She was full of their day so far and sorry to have missed his call, she was missing him and so were the kids, he answered absentmindedly, his attention focused on Jack who by his demeanour had put his face, his voice and the name together. She rang off promising to call later after the prom, to find out how it had all gone. He waited till Jack was engaged in serving, getting up and returning his glass to the bar then beating a retreat. He wandered back through the village spending a moment gazing up at the flat window, Evissa had long since disappeared and was now a cut price goods shop "Nothing more than a quid" emblazoned across the windows. He smiled imagining Tony's railing against the dropping of standards in the Village. He walked on past what had been Drive n' Buy, it was still food and drink but the shop sign had disappeared and was now of indeterminate ownership. He shook his head, walks down memory lane were really not his thing – he didn't know why he'd bothered nothing in his past was worth remembering except her, Becca, the only good thing that had come out of it.
Back at the hotel, he showered and changed. He sat in the taxi worrying all the way; he hadn't done this in over a year, the last time reluctantly, having to leave a pregnant Becca, to deal with Mel. He wasn't listed as next of kin, but unable to contact either Mum or Sophie he'd drawn the short straw. He tried hard not to be apprehensive about this visit or the fact this time they'd asked to see him first. The taxi dropped him at the gates and he arranged for the guy to pick him up in an hour. He walked up the drive, butterflies in his stomach. The surroundings were pleasant, a big old house surrounded by the remains of an Edwardian garden though now heavily encroached by newer houses on both sides. He reached the front door which stood open and walked through to what appeared to be the reception area. A young woman sat behind a desk busily typing and only looked up when he moved closer. "Mr Burton to see Dr Farrell" "Please take a seat" She indicated a couple of armchairs opposite the desk that appeared to have seen better days. He still couldn't get used to being addressed as Mr Burton, especially at school though he preferred it to "Sir" If he had his way they'd all be on first name terms and sod the hierarchy. Suddenly a tall spare faced man stood in front of him hand outstretched "Thank-you for coming Mr Burton, please, come through to my office" He vaguely remembered him as Mel's psychiatrist from his last visit, a painful one, Mel at her lowest ebb. "What's the problem now?" he asked before they had seated themselves in the tiny office, crammed floor to ceiling with books, files, papers and bric-a- brac in an odd mix. "Oh nothing, nothing at all. In fact quite the opposite, I 'm sure you'll see the huge change in Mel, in fact she's improved to the point where we are no longer necessary to her continued recovery." He sat stunned, afraid to respond in case he'd misunderstood what the doctor was telling him, "You mean she's ready to be released?" "She was never a prisoner here" the doctor frowned "This is a place of respite" Tell that to the ones in the locked rooms thought Justin, remembering signing just such an order last year. Making a dismissive motion with his hand the doctor carried on "We are looking to find Mel the kind of accommodation suitable to her continued recovery and wanted to consult with her family before any final decision was taken" Justin sat surprised at this piece of information, "What did you have in mind?" he asked. "A halfway house, Mel would have more independent living than she does here but with continued help from live-in staff if she needed it. We have links to a place in Oxford and Mel herself is keen to go but we needed to consult with you and your mother first as the cost would be considerable..." Justin realised he had no idea how all of this was paid for; he'd had little contact with Mum and Sophie since the disastrous visit a few years before. "I'm sorry" he stuttered "I don't know how this is funded?" He looked in bemusement at the doctor and with growing embarrassment, he didn't particularly want to run through the reasons for his family's estrangement with a complete stranger, he wasn't the one needing the couch. "It's all taken care of by your mother" the doctor replied smoothly, "We were hoping that the arrangement could continue to ensure Mel's continued recovery" Justin looked at him and weighed up whether he was truly interested in Mel's return to health or was cynically exploiting her illness to fill the clinic's coffers, he came to no definite conclusion. "Can I see her?" he asked. Perhaps he could better judge by talking to her although after last year he wasn't sure how much sense he would get. "Certainly!" He buzzed the intercom on his desk, requesting an escort for him out to the garden. "We'll be in touch about the arrangements Mr Burton" The doctor stood and held his hand out across the desk and Justin shook it reluctantly. He followed the woman from the outer office out into the garden; she indicated a bench at the far end of the lawn under the trees. He could just make out a figure and set off slowly across the lawn, a little apprehensive as to what awaited him. As he drew nearer, the figure stood and he recognised Mel, thin pale but smiling. She walked towards him and gave him a hug, he held her away from him and scrutinised her, she carried on smiling. "Hi! It's good to see you, here come and sit down" she indicated the bench behind them. "You're looking well, incredibly well!" perhaps a little tactlessly. She laughed "Well I couldn't look any worse!" they both laughed and the nerves disappeared, this was the Mel he remembered, sharp as knives and caustic wit. "So, they're going to let you out on your own then?" "Yep! Mum and Sophie don't know and I don't want them to" she turned to him, smile fading "I asked them to call you because I knew you'd keep this secret" "Why, you look and sound fantastic!" She grimaced "I'm recovering Jay, not cured. I've still got a long way to go. Last year..." her voice tailed off. They both sat silently and remembered the traumatic episode. She carried on voice firmer "That's the past and I'm moving on Jay but I'll still need help, the place in Oxford and maybe..." She looked at him "maybe I could come and visit you and Becca from time to time?" He looked at her face, the voice steady but her eyes hopeful, pleading. "You know you're always welcome to stay, Becca would love to see you so would Lissa and..." he grinned "So would Will!" "Will?" she looked puzzled. "Another Burton adventure" he laughed "You'll find out!" He hugged her again and she returned it. They walked back to house slowly arm in arm till they reached the door, he looked at her again "I can't believe the change, but I know you're going to do it this time and when you do, your family's going to be waiting." She kissed his cheek and watched as walked back through the house and out through the open door.
The taxi was waiting outside the gates as he reached them, he hopped in the back and growled "Hollyoaks Comp" at the guy before his voice broke. He sat back, stared out of the window unseeing as the tears rolled down his cheeks. He rubbed his face clearing them away and glanced at the driver but he was busy weaving through the early evening traffic, paying no attention to his passenger in the back. By the time they'd reached school he was composed, he paid off the taxi and stood by the gate looking at the building. It had been decorated for the evening's event which appeared to be in full swing as blasts of music hit the air each time the main door opened. He walked slowly up the drive, this was meant to be the fun part of the trip but he couldn't imagine how anybody could constitute this as fun. He was about to turn tail and leave when he spotted a familiar figure in the doorway. Curiosity getting the better of him for once, he set off once again towards the lights and music,
Inside the entrance hall the lights were bright and bounced off the gaudy decorations put up for the event. He breathed in the unchanged smell and was transported back, a wave of melancholy flowing over him, unfamiliar and unwelcome. Too many ghosts here he thought and for a second time made to leave. "Justin?" It is you! Come here let me look at you!" Justin turned and looked in the direction of the voice, he saw an attractive young woman, smartly dressed hair fashionably short, "Nicole?" "Yep it's me!" she smiled and leaning over kissed him briefly on the cheek. "How are you?" she asked. "You disappeared off the face of the planet" she added, laughing. "What's brought you back now?" She glanced around quickly and spotted the bar "C'mon" she tugged at his arm "Lets get a drink and you can tell me everything!" He followed her reluctantly, glancing back in the direction of the figure he'd spotted. She'd keep till later he supposed and turned his attention back to Nicole. She handed him a glass, "I guessed beer" she giggled "Didn't think you'd have turned into a G & T type of guy" He took the glass from her and smiled "Hardly!" He took a sip and glanced around, it was mostly a mix of current teenagers and staff, he recognised a few faces and those he did were strangers to him now. He spotted Mrs Webster, circulating and smiling. He made a mental note to avoid her at all costs. "So," Nicole's voice bringing him back "What did happen to you that summer? You vanished into thin air, about the same time Mrs Dean left her husband?" The question hung in the air and he considered how he should answer but before he could she answered for him "Let me guess, ran away to sea and made a fortune!" She eyed him up and down suggestively and he took a large gulp from the glass, uncomfortable with her full on admiration. Same old Nicole he thought with amusement, one track mind! He listened with half an ear to her stories of University, working for the local paper in the holidays and now landing her dream job on one of the nationals. His thoughts drifted while she explained about how she'd managed to talk her way into an interview and how thrilled she'd been to be offered a job "Of course it's only a junior position but who knows where it might lead" She glanced expectantly at him obviously waiting for him to comment on her ingenuity. He obliged with a smile "Well done!" he murmured and glanced about, there didn't seem to be any sign of her and he breathed a sigh of relief. His attention was brought back by Nicole asking him a question "Sorry what?" he asked pretending he hadn't heard over the music. She repeated her question "What are you doing later?" He stared down at her seeing invitation in the look she returned, it would be simple to go along with it, a chance meeting, a quick fling. There had been other offers in the past, girls at college thinking him single or those who knew about Becca and saw him as a challenge. It would've been easy to cheat, betray, he'd had plenty of experience in that department, but he'd never yet met another woman that he'd wanted like he wanted her. He smiled at Nicole giving himself time to phrase the right and least hurtful response and in return she gave him the come hither gaze that had felled many of her erstwhile colleagues at the paper. She was chagrined to realise he was no longer paying attention to her flirtatious opening. His stare was fixed at a point over her right shoulder so she pivoted slightly following his gaze, and for once her mouth dropped open without a sound issuing from it.
There in the throng stood Becca, casting about in the crowd for one face. He stood and stared at her, his heart racing as if it was the first time he'd set eyes on her. She was simply dressed in contrast to Nicole's casual chic but in his eyes there wasn't a woman in the room that came close to how beautiful and desirable she was. Forgetting Nicole, he walked slowly towards her as she continued to look about for him. It wasn't until he was a few feet away she realised he was there and smiled, for him. He carried on walking towards her, reaching out and pulling her by both hands close to him, she smiled up at him and he kissed her. When they finally broke apart she grinned at him "Wow! So you did miss me then?" He grinned back "No, just always fancied kissing you in the hall Miss!" She laughed and looked around but no-one was taking any notice, Nicole had melted away into the crowd. "Dance, Miss?" he asked "I'd love to, Mr Burton!"