Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, Hawaii Five-0.

I'm not sure if this helps, or just makes things worse... but it helped me a little to write it. In fic-land I plan to live in denial!

Disappointed

By
N. J. Borba

"Ugh! I'm done with this," Catherine groaned.

"Huh?" Steve looked up from where he'd just been caressing her neck with soft kisses. His eyes narrowed and his feelings were slightly hurt to see she wasn't even paying attention to him. Her eyes were actually focused on the TV screen across the room. Steve was suddenly reminded of a Halloween night in which she'd been a bit annoyed at him for keeping an eye on the TV as they'd been kissing. Now he had an inkling of what that felt like. "Something wrong?" he gently asked.

A second later the TV winked off and the remote went sailing across the coffee table. It landed on the floor a foot away from the TV, plastic body breaking apart into two halves and batteries flung across the hardwood floor. "Yes, something is wrong… something is very wrong," she huffed. Catherine took a few seconds to catch her breath, "Sharna is dead. They just killed her. One minute she and Duke are busting up a fight between the robbers and then blamo! Sharna gets shot in the head. She's dead. Dead."

He watched her for a moment, realizing a tear was coursing down her cheek, "Cath, you do know it's just a TV show, right?"

"Just a TV show?" she sniffed. Catherine looked him in the eye and shook her head, "No, yeah… you're right… it's just a TV show. You're absolutely right."

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm not right?" Steve replied.

"It's just…" Catherine tried to find the right words to explain it but she was afraid it was going to come out sounding silly, "Never mind, you'll just laugh."

"Catherine," he scooted closer again and turned her so they were facing one another, "I won't laugh at you. That's a promise. What's got you so bent out of shape over a TV character leaving a show?" Steve tried to coax the answer out of her, sensing it had to do with more than just the TV show.

She shrugged at first, reluctant to let it out. But the words finally came, "I just really liked that Duke and Sharna were characters that worked together and also had a relationship that they managed to balance on top of their hectic lives. They were best friends and went through a lot of shit together, but they always had each other and… I don't know, I guess it kind of reminded me of us. And why can't TV reflect stable relationships anymore?" Catherine's shoulders sagged again. "Go ahead, laugh."

He looked her in the eye, "I'm not laughing. I said I wouldn't and I'm not."

With a somewhat shaky breath, Catherine went on. "When I was a little girl there was this show on TV called Healing Hands, and it was about a family. A dad who was a doctor, mom was a nurse and they worked together at this busy hospital. They had three kids, two boys and one girl. And there was a lot of drama with the hospital and the kids at school and," she finally paused to breathe again, "But what I loved about it most was that this family remained a family through it all."

"Okay," Steve smiled, still not sure what she was getting at.

"For seven seasons the parents never cheated on one another and the kids got into some trouble but they were a family, they loved and supported each other." She smiled sadly, "My family wasn't like that, my parents divorced and… I looked to that show to fill a void in my life."

Steve wasn't so sure he liked what he was hearing anymore, "So these… uh, Duke and Sharna people… do you look to them because that's not what we have? Because I thought you just said they reminded you of us and now I'm confused."

Catherine's smile was less sad than before, "I think it's more a matter of me wanting us to be like them… to be able to stick it out no matter what."

"Hey," his hands rested against her shoulders as he looked her in the eye again, "That is us, Catherine."

She nodded, "I know you don't like to use the term girlfriend or the L word, and that's okay with me. The important thing to me is that we get through stuff together. And that we'll always be able to do that."

"We will," Steve assured her. "I mean, you know I can't guarantee that you or I won't… nobody knows when their time is gonna be up. But…"

"I know," Catherine spared him from having to say the words die or death. It wasn't what she wanted to focus on when she was with him. "Thank you for not thinking I'm weird for reacting like this to a TV show. That means a lot to me."

He grinned, pulling her closer for a sweet, slow kiss. "If it makes you feel any better, Mary used to get lost in TV shows. She did the same thing, pretending the show family was her real family," Steve revealed. "Dad and I didn't do a very good job of helping her cope with mom's death," he lamented.

"You were just a kid, too," Catherine reminded him.

Steve kissed her again for her reassuring comfort. Then he got up and retrieved the broken remote. He managed to find both batteries, stuck them back inside the device and closed it up, "These suckers are a lot sturdier than they look," he smiled, pressing the power button and watching the TV blink back to life. He returned to the sofa and cuddled up beside Catherine. "Now, let's see if we can find something happy or sappy, maybe a chick flick of some sort," he offered.

Catherine chuckled as she leaned her head against his shoulder, "You don't really want to watch a chick flick with me."

His head shook as he settled on a home remodeling show, "Nope," Steve dropped the remote and stretch one arm across her shoulder, "I just want to find something for us to not watch while we make out," he moved in for another kiss.

"Very smooth," she smiled between the leisurely, gentle kisses he pressed against her neck, "Nothing says romance like hammers and nails…"

"I can think of one thing I'd like to nail," Steve whispered in her ear.

"Naughty boy," Catherine grinned as he grabbed the hem of her t-shirt and swiftly pulled it off over her head. She sucked in a breath as his lips moved to her shoulder and his fingers fumbled behind her back with the clasp of her bra. Her eyes rolled back into her head as he clutched her waist and his mouth brushed delicately over her chest, then not so delicately.

"Have I taken your mind off the disappointing TV show?" he asked, looking up for a moment as his chin nestled between her breasts.

She was completely lost in the blissfulness of his touch as the kisses resumed course toward a lower destination, "Getting closer."

The End