Hello! I found this outpouring of TenRose feels on my old flashdrive this weekend, thought you might like it. I wrote it all in one sitting with limited editing, so if some parts are a bit strange or disconnected, my official apologies.
Otherwise, Enjoy!
P.S. I don't own Doctor Who.
Impossible Things
DW Ten-Rose
Real Time. After Girl in the Fireplace
Five and half hours. Rose Tyler thought to herself with pity and loathing. I waited for five and a half hours on an abandoned spaceship! Waiting for him to come back…
The thought alone disgusted her now. The fact that she did only made things worse. And the fact that the moment The Doctor came back he was making preparations for 'Madame de Pompadour' to become his next victim. Rose wasn't just disgusted with herself anymore by that point. Him, herself, the entire situation…she hated it all.
Not only had she been left alone for five hours on an abandoned spaceship with no way home; but she had been left alone on an abandoned spaceship for five hours doubting herself. That was what made the entire experience all the more painful. The Doctor had just left her standing there; mourning him, and doubting herself.
Never once, not in all of her travels with him—whether it was with the leather jacket or with the pinstripes—The Doctor had never once forced Rose to ever question herself. If anything, her travelling with him had boosted her self-esteem and self-worth. She now had the strength to stand up for what was right. She now had the strength to face down Daleks and never quiver in fear. She destroyed them once, then she would do it again.
But suddenly, Rose was left questioning all of that. All of…everything. Herself, her patience, her devotion to him, his devotion to her, and their—whatever it was they had together. Call it companions, call it friends, best friends, maybe lovers on some certain level. Whatever it was, Rose had come to find strength with it. She had come to expect it, to rely on it. It was her comfort, her reassurance, it was the core of all of her courage.
Rose Tyler and the Doctor.
The Stuff of Legends.
Never one without the other.
And now…Rose just didn't know what to do. She waited for him. She and Mickey depended on him. And yet he had just left them both behind like spare garbage in an alleyway. Thrown them both away onto some spaceship in the—51st century or something—with no way to pilot the TARDIS and no way to get back to Earth in their own time. He threw them both away.
He had thrown her away.
Abandoned her.
Dropped her off without saying goodbye.
And she was left to doubt. She loved him. She could never doubt that. But was he worth it? Was he worth all of this time she put in waiting for him? Or was she just wasting her life on him, waiting for him to love her in return (if he ever will)? She loved him. But did he love her? Had he ever loved her? Would he ever love her?
The thought was questionable. Considering he had already just given his hearts and travelling lifestyle to some French Courtesan as if on a whim. He fell in love with her—Miss Madame de Pompadour—in what seemed like a matter of seconds, considering the man was truly over nine-hundred years old. Just a little perspective, Rose guessed.
Now, if The Doctor had already given away his two hearts, only to have them broken with Reinette's death…what was left for her? He had come whirling back, practically bouncing off the walls, wanting to get ready for Reinettes' maiden voyage to the stars. All about her, it seemed. He had gone back to fetch her moments later.
But when he came back from that trip…he was a completely different man. Rose was sorely reminded of her first Doctor—leather jacket and dinner plate ears—the one who grieved and pouted and was inconsolable whenever someone died on their adventures. He always seemed to find a way to blame himself, that man. And maybe he still did, in this body. Maybe he blames himself for Reinette's death. Maybe that's why he's so gloomy.
Because he didn't fetch her quickly enough.
Because he couldn't stop the illness history predicted.
Because the Last great Time Lord, ran of time to save his beloved Madame.
He had strolled back into the TARDIS with a swing in his step; as if his legs were too heavy to lift, or his knees didn't want to bend anymore. All because of Madame de Pompadour. Mickey didn't want to have anything to do with The Doctor's sadness the moment that alien walked into the room. And he had wanted to drag Rose along with him, out of the Doctor's way.
Mickey Smith, still struggling with that impulse to run away. No standing up, no saying 'no', and no fighting back that simple impulse to run away in fear. Seeing him, the Doctor, so sad and weary and in pain, it was a heavy reminder of just how old and scarred the Doctor was. How heavy his burdens were. And he how he carried them alone.
Rose hated that. Him having to carry all the weight of his past and his mistakes all by himself. He should never be alone. Especially with that tendency to blame himself that he always seemed to carry around. Everyone makes mistakes, but The Doctor doesn't like it that way. He doesn't like making mistakes because he feels like he's letting the universe down. Like he's still the man who was 'ruthless' and 'callous' enough to kill his own kind.
But he isn't anymore. Rose has seen it all. He's gotten better, so much better. He is a man who values the lives of others. A man who treasures those he cares about. A man who keeps his promises.
…Or is he?
Just yesterday, it seemed, Rose had met Sarah Jane. Now Sarah was a brilliant woman, and eventually Rose learned to get along with her. But she had also heard her loud and clear in that diner, while Sarah Jane was talking to The Doctor. She may as well have spilt her guts; confessed that she had been in love with him, nearly spitting at him for leaving her behind in a city that was nowhere close to where she lived. As if he had never cared for her at all.
"I waited for you." Sarah Jane Smith had told him. "I missed you."
"You were my life." She had persisted when The Doctor had shrugged her off, saying that she'd get on with her life.
"You know what the most difficult thing was? Coping with what comes next, or what doesn't come next." She shot at him.
"You took me to the farthest reaches of the galaxy, you showed me supernovas, intergalactic battles and then you just dropped me back on Earth. How could anything compare to that?" She had asked him.
"You could have come back." She told him.
The Doctor had told her that he couldn't have. But he never told her why.
Just yesterday, Rose had confronted him about it, in front of the same diner with those chips that had cost her two-quid to eat. About Sarah Jane, his previous companions, and his despicable, heart-wrenching habit of just dropping the people who cared about him like they were strays. Never to see or talk to them again. Abandoned. All of them.
"How many of us have there been, traveling with you?" Rose had asked.
His reply? "Does it matter?"He had asked her whether it mattered! The nerve and utter thickness of that man! Why didn't he get it?! Why didn't he get her?!
"Yeah, it does. If I'm just the latest in a long line." Rose had hardly managed not to snap. Rose didn't want to believe it, she could have sworn they were different. That he was different from just any other bloke she had given her heart to. The Doctor and Rose. All along she had thought they were…
"I thought you and I were…" She had just nearly said the words 'different' or 'in love' but she couldn't. And she had allowed herself that one weakness, for the sake of her point. "But obviously, I got it wrong. Now I've been to the year five billion, right, but this? Now this is really seeing the future. You just leave us behind." She nearly snapped or spat or shouted. But then the real fear kicked in, hushing her voice. "Is that what you're going to do to me?"
Right then and there he had sworn. Sworn to her, with a dead seriousness, a quiet fierceness, and an unquestionable sound of vehement determination that Rose's heart nearly soared out of the window and sank into her stomach at the exact same time.
"No. Not to you."
That's what he had told her. That is what he had told her. Now, after a day of helping the Doctor, helping his French Courtesan, and waiting for him for five and half hours and then some. The promise felt like a sucker punch to the gut. From the moment she had met the Doctor, she had trusted him. Sure, she had been mad at him before, she had been sad for him before, she had even yelled and cried with him before. But she had always. Always trusted him.
But now, after this whole adventure with 'The Girl in the Fireplace', Rose wasn't just mad at the Doctor; she was mad at herself. She wasn't just sad for the Doctor and what he lost with Reinette; she was sad for them and for herself, and for the relationship between them that she felt was slowly dying.
Stupid girl. Foolish girl! Talk about Hormone City. Rose must have been kidding herself when she thought she was special, to the Doctor of all people.
Poor Doctor, he lost another one. But what about them? What about everything they have been through together? …But what about trust? What about me? Rose asked herself.
Could she stand to stay here with the Doctor even one more day knowing that his hearts would never belong to her? That they would always belong to anyone but her? As Mickey had pulled her away from the Doctor in the console room and down the corridor, Rose had seen him pull out a letter. Probably a letter from his precious Reinette Poisson; lover to the king and apparently also a lover of Time Lords. All she would need to add to that resume was a degree in gardening or something.
How could she love him, how could she even travel with him, with Reinette's letter and Reinette's ghost always hanging over her head? Like a shadow, forever passing across The Doctor's face when he looked at her. Rose wasn't sure she could take it. Maybe this would have to be it. For them. Maybe Rose needed to leave, just for a while. If only for the sake of keeping her sanity and not dissolving into a heap of heart-broken tears. Which is what she felt she was, on the inside.
If she had to leave, even for the sake of her own sanity. She would at least need to tell The Doctor so before actually packing her things. He at least deserved that much decency. After all the things he had done to make her a better person. He at least needed to know. Rose needed to give credit where credit was due. Then she would break the news to him. After that, she would leave. And try to cope with whatever comes next. Or rather; 'what doesn't come next.' As Sarah Jane had put it.
Getting to her feet, Rose slipped her trainers back on, wiped her bleary eyes to make sure there were no tear trails on her cheeks and made her way to her bedroom door. Yes, she had her own bedroom in the TARDIS, she had been travelling with The Doctor for more than a year. There was no way she could do all that and not sleep somewhere. Then she realised; this may be one of the last times that I'll ever be in this room again. She thought. The Doctor never comes calling on old companions, as she now knew.
Pausing at her closed door, Rose took one last, long look around her pink and yellow room. Everything was there; her favorite purple mug from her mum's flat on her dresser. One of Captain Jack's extra hats from the Blitz, there on the headboard. And one of her first Doctor's leather jackets, she stole it not too long after he regenerated. She loved The Doctor, no matter what face he wore. There was no doubting or questioning that. Not even now. But there were times, after what feels like an eternity later, that Rose still misses that hard-shelled, blue-eyed man. Her Doctor.
She would be packing all of those things up after this. After she told The Doctor that she had to leave. She had no idea what excuse she would make yet. But she knew she could come up with one. Hopefully, he would buy it. They knew each other so well; who was bluffing when. Hopefully her excuse would pass his lie detector and he would let her go.
It would be so much harder to leave if he fought her. If he fought for her to stay through this…because part of her wanted him to. Part of her wanted to stay. A big part of her. But she would have to ignore that part of her if she ever wanted to get out of his TARDIS alive. She would have to leave. She would need to tell him. Pack up and leave. After the first step was taken, everything else would come easily. At least, that's what Rose hoped.
Rose reached for the doorknob and clenched in her one hand, willing herself to open the door and face the man she loved with her goodbyes. But just then, while she was staring down at her hand, thinking hard, a fist rapped on the door. Someone knocked on the wood right at eye level with her, on the other side of the door.
"Mickey?" Rose asked automatically with curiosity. She opened the door. And to her surprise…
There was the Doctor. Matchstick form and pinstriped suit, his hair askew, and his dark eyes uncharacteristically shy as he looked at her. Scratching the back of his neck, he watched Rose stare at him in blatant surprise as he spoke.
"How do you know you're in love?" He asked, cutting straight to the point.
"I—um…"Rose didn't know what to say. She was just bracing herself to put some distance between herself and this man. Yet here he was standing, not even six inches away from each other's toes, asking her about love. Her! Of all people.
"Well, I um…I guess…"Rose tried to say. "I guess it's kind of a few things, really."
"Like what?" The Doctor asked, his arm lowering from the back of his neck to dead at his side as he looked straight at her. Compared to him, Rose felt like she shouldn't have been more than an inch tall in that moment.
"Well…I guess, first of all, all of those love songs need to make sense."
"What do you mean?" he asked, his gaze unwavering.
"I mean, well, I guess for you it would be every love song you've ever heard. Across the universe. In any language. When you think about you—or-you think about the person you love. Maybe when you think of...the two of you together…how you work...maybe how you fit together…Then the words have to make sense. At least…that's one way to tell."
"And what are the others?"
Rose opened her mouth, drawing a blank for a moment. There was no manual ever written for love. Even she knew that. But then how do I know that I'm in love with The Doctor? She wondered to herself. And that, was when the idea came to her.
"You have to be willing to do the impossible." She said without a doubt.
The Doctor blinked, seeming just a little surprised by the notion. "There are lots of things that people call impossible."
Rose managed a little smile. 'Because nothing truly is." She said, almost soft enough to be talking to herself. But the Doctor caught her words, and managed a small smile in return.
"Then…does that cancel out the entire criteria?" he asked.
Rose grinned. "Not by a long shot." She affirmed. "You just have to be willing to do the things that you think are impossible. Especially when it comes to the person you love."
The Doctor nodded as if considering Rose's words. "Alright." He conceded.
"Do you need me to quiz you?" Rose asked with a teasing, tongue-touched grin.
The Doctor suddenly shook his head and gave her a strange look. "What?"
"You wanted to know how you know you're in love." Rose reminded him. "I told you how you know. So, now do you want to test yourself with the criteria and see for sure? …If you're in love or not?" Rose asked him, clarifying her question, trying not to look at him as if he'd dribbled on his shirt.
"Um…sure." The Doctor supposed. "No harm in a little quiz to tell how much ya know, eh?" he asked with a joking but strangely tentative smile.
Rose made sure to give her dearest friend a reassuring smile. "None at all." She assured him. She then moved out of the doorway and motioned him in. "Come on in," she said. "I think I know just how to quiz-test a Time Lord."
The Doctor laughed. "Think you can outsmart me, eh? Cheeky, Rose Tyler. Very cheeky."
Rose through him a roguishly cheeky smile over his shoulder as they both walked back into her bedroom. "The cheekiest of them all!" she boasted without reserve, laughing. "Alright then, sit right there, on the bed, I'll take the chair." She told him.
Unlike the majority of the time she spent with him, The Doctor actually did as he was told. Tailbone on the edge of her mattress; he watched with his elbows on his knees and his fingers intertwined as Rose sat in the spinning chair sitting at her dresser/vanity mirror. Pulling open the lowest drawer on her left side, Rose pulled out one blank piece of paper from beneath her pencils and coloured pencils and tore it in half.
Keeping one-half for herself, Rose passed the second half to The Doctor before fishing two newly sharpened pencils from that same drawer; one for each of them.
"Alright." She said once both friends had all of their supplies. "Now, for this quiz, I want you to write five love songs that pop into your head. From anytime, any place and any language. As long as you know the words and as long as they are love songs, they will be clear to write down." Rose told him. "And don't worry, I'll be doing the same thing."
The Doctor nodded. His pencil already busy scratching against the paper spread across one knee. Rose wrote the first five love songs that she knew, then stopped and waited for The Doctor. He must have been writing some songs from alien languages. Even from where she sat several paces away, Rose could see that some of the titles where long, the letters intricate in some of them too. A minute or two later, The Doctor looked up at Rose for his next instructions.
"Good," Rose said, secretly loving the way she sounded like a school teacher schooling a child, even if that child may as well have been a 900-year-old time traveller in reality. "Now, beneath those five songs, write down five impossible things. Or at least, things that you think are impossible."
The first four, The Doctor finished without a second thought. He only paused on the very last line. Rose couldn't see a word of what he wrote, but she was curious, seeing as he was putting such thought into his list of impossible things. Then he was done.
"Your turn." He told her. "Five impossible things."
Suddenly remembering that she wasn't the only one taking the quiz, Rose found herself copying exactly what the Doctor had done. The first four were quick to think up. The fifth…took a bit more consideration. But she still finished in good time.
"Alright," she said again. 'Now, I can already tell that I won't even be able to pronounce some other songs you wrote down, I'll just have to do this the easy way." Rose said. "IF you think you can remember all of them, think of only two things…All five songs collectively, and the person (bloke or chic, I won't judge) you think you love."
"Alright." The Doctor decided, his gaze gaining a far-off quality as he concentrated. But Rose knew his ears could still hear her as she spoke.
"With those two things in mind, do any or all of the songs relate to the person you love? Or, even better, can you picture saying the words of the songs to the person you love?"
The Doctor took a moment to consider. "Some. I can imagine saying little snippets of some out loud. Well… not all the meanings of these songs can be articulated very accurately into English, but I suppose that's beside the point anyhow. So, if I had to say so…I can imagine saying some of the translatable parts of the songs out loud to someone. But not all, and not much."
"Hm." Rose just decided to say, simply. "Ok, that's the end of part one. For part two, I'll need to see your list of impossible."
Now a little apprehensive, The Doctor folded his paper in half and slowly handed the slip over to Rose across the room. Once she had a safe hold on the paper, Rose opened it up and held the half-sheet with one hand. She could fully see almost everything; both the alien songs and the impossible things, but her thumb was covering number five at the moment. And she was ok with that, for now.
"So, now that I have your list, I'm going to read these 'impossible things' and you'll tell me if you'd be willing to do these impossible things for the sake of the person you love."
"Alright then."
Rose nodded, watching the Doctor carefully as he lay the wrong way across her bed and closed his eyes. She planned on watching his reaction very carefully for this.
"Number One...Not bring a banana to a party."
The Doctor snorted. "Well, she may have convinced me to dance, but she sure as Rassilion couldn't talk me into not taking a banana to a party."
Rose reeled back a little bit, remembering the one time when she had asked her leather-jacket Doctor to 'dance'. She had only just gotten him to do it before Jack had beamed them up and interrupted. Wondering if the Doctor was talking inanimately about her, she couldn't help but feel a little offended as she spoke again.
"Ok then, Number Two…Eat a pear."
The Doctor scrunched his nose, as if the thought didn't appeal to him at all. He answer was a groan. "Oh…I suppose…but only if her life was at stake or something. I can't stand pears."
Rose rolled her lips together to keep from laughing. "I can see that." She commented, unable to hold back a smile. Almost eager to figure out the next 'impossible thing', Rose continued reading.
"Number Three." This one stung. "Leave behind the TARDIS, and everything else you've ever known." Rose grit her teeth to keep from snarling.
"Mmm…Maybe. But only if her life was in danger."
Rose wanted to scream that the bloody-thick cow of a man who had just said 'Maybe'. 'Maybe?!' you've already bloody done it before! What could ever possibly stop you from doing it again for HER?! She wanted to scream and cry and shout at him, all at once. Her jaw hurt and her teeth were numb by the time she moved on to the next 'impossible thing.'
"Number Four…"
Rose trailed off immediately, her voice dying in her throat as she felt pain stab her chest. Not for herself, but for the Doctor. The pain went through her to the Doctor, for him…when she finally spoke what he wrote.
"Fight the Time War all over again."
The tension in the air quadrupled with those seven, not six, words. Rose looked up from the paper to look at her Doctor. His face was pained, his eyes shut tighter and his nose scrunched as his cheeks flushed a little. His mouth, however, was a hard line when he replied.
"No. I'm never doing that again. Not even for her."
Rose let out a breath of relief. No matter who the Doctor had in mind when he replied, Rose would never want or let the Doctor relive all of the horrors he must have witnessed in the war that destroyed his people. If Reinette ever asked that of him, Rose would openly slap her. Even in front of The Doctor himself.
She cleared her throat, opening her mouth and getting ready to mover her thumb and read the last 'impossible thing'. She just needed to get his mind off of the Time War. That's all she needed to do. But before she could even move her thumb a nanometer, before she could even utter a single syllable, The Doctor spoke.
"Stop." He said abruptly. "I already know what the result will be. I don't need the last impossible thing to know for sure."
Rose was surprised by this. "Um…ok." She decided. "So, what's the verdict, do you think? The person you had in mind for that time…do you love her?"
"Yes."
Rose's heart dropped to her feet and through the floor in less than a millisecond. If somebody burst in and shot her now, killed her on the spot. Rose didn't know if she could possibly care. What could possibly be worse; unrequited love with questions, or unrequited love when you know exactly who someone loves instead of you?
The Doctor wasn't finished, though. His words brought Rose back to life for a split second. "Yes. I do love her, but not in the way I thought I did before. Not good enough. It's not strong enough to be the kind of love I was thinking of."
"Ok," Rose replied simply, her emotions suddenly going in so many different directions she didn't know which to pick and describe. Even to herself.
The Doctor looked out of the downward corner of his eyes, directly at Rose, before looking back up at the ceiling. "Run it by me again."
Confusion, Rose finally decided. She was most certainly confused at the moment. "But I thought you said..?"
"I did, and I was right. (As usual). But I just want to double check everything. I have someone else in mind this time. Run it by me again."
Rose swallowed. Who is it this time? She wondered to herself. Sarah-Jane? Some other companion who The Doctor never mentioned before? For a moment Rose was afraid to ask, to comply. For fear that the answer would hurt more that even Reinette could. But, the Doctor had cooperated with her in this, so obviously, he was very serious about this. And if he was serious, the Rose would listen to the seriousness, understand, and comply. Which she did.
"Ok." She said finally, clearing her throat. "The five songs, do you still remember them?"
"Every last one of them."
"Ok. So, with this, um…new person…in mind. Can you picture yourself saying the lyrics aloud to him or her?"
"If I ever found a way to articulate it all into English, then I would. If I could. Whenever she needed to hear it. One day I hope she'll never have to ask."
Rose was surprised by his response. Whoever it was, he or she must be better than Reinette, she could tell that already. And she had only gotten one answer out of him. Now onto the impossible things.
"Number One, NOT take a banana to a party."
He gave out a reluctant moan. "Well…I guess if she considered it inappropriate for the event or something. But if she really wanted to talk me into it, then she'd have to do some pretty good…convinving." He finally decided.
His last words came out surprisingly low and shy. Rose wondered why. "Number Two; eat a pear." She said instead.
Another reluctant groan. "I can't believe I'm saying this…but if she asked me to, or maybe her life was in danger or something like that…I think I would. But I think, well…rather hope that she would never ask me to do such a thing if she knew how much I hate pears."
Dully noted. Rose thought to herself. This person, whoever he or she was, was starting to sound strangely alike to…her or someone she knew. Whoever he or she was, they must know the Doctor just as well as she does now—the way he is now. Rose hardly even dared to wonder…Mickey? She could hardly suppress a shudder at that, even though she promised not to judge. Mickey was her ex-boyfriend for crying out loud! Forcing herself not to gag or something and embarrass herself, she kept going.
"Number Three: Leave behind the TARDIS and everything else you've ever known." Now Rose wanted more than just to gag. She wanted to vomit. Either that or scream and cry. Again.
"If she asked me to, if she was ever in danger, there would be nothing that could stop me from saving her, or trying to make her happy. Even if it meant losing…everything else."
Rose now wanted to go through all of the above. She wanted to vomit, cry and scream at whoever had the Doctor lain across their lap like a desperate puppy. Whoever it was that put him in such a place that he was willing to give up everything, even her, even the TARDIS just to get them out of danger—she hated them with all of her soul. Absolutely hated them.
Swallowing both bile, sobs and screams…Rose forced herself to repeat the impossible thing that broke her heart because of the Doctor's pain. "Number Four. Fight the Time War all over again."
Rose looked up from the paper again, watching The Doctor with sadness, compassion and care. She watched him wince, his pained expression returned, and she watched him swallow as he spoke.
"If that's what it would take to keep her by my side, then…How could I say no?"
Someone may as well have knocked Rose into a brick wall. All the air in her lungs was gone. Forget Reinette. This bitch, whoever he or she was, had the Doctor wrapped around their little finger. They had him manipulated. Completely malleable to their will. If anyone and she meant anyone asked The Doctor to do such a thing in front of her, Rose would slaughter them no matter what. Considering the power of her current emotions at the moment. Nothing could stop her.
Rose, however, she knew that she would never let anyone who could ever ask that of the Doctor anywhere near him. She herself would never ask, much less allow him to do such a thing, considering how much pain it all caused him. Even now. And, unable to stand her own silence anymore, Rose opened her mouth to tell him so. She would never let anything happen to The Doctor if it regarded the Time War like that. She was just about to rant about it and tell him exactly what she thought. Then she closed it again. She didn't do it.
Instead; she grabbed her half sheet, folded it in half, and handed it over to the man sitting on the edge of his seat, waiting for her to continue, then surprised by her reaction.
"Try me." She said.
First a little bit of confusion, then uncertainty, flashed across the Doctor's eyes. Then, with trembling fingers, he reached out with one hand and gently took Rose's sheet of paper. Unfolding it, his thumb covering the fifth 'impossible thing', just as Rose had. And she wondered about the difference between coincidence and intent.
"Hm…Nice choices." He murmured. "Have surprisingly good tastes for a human." He said numbly.
Rose smile a little, even though The Doctor's comment may or may not have been an actual attempt at humour. "Thank you.' She returned.
He cleared his throat. "Right. All songs considered, alongside whoever it is you love…can you see yourself ever…speaking the lyrics aloud to the person you have in mind."
"Absolutely. I would repeat them every day for him regardless, whether he wanted to hear them or not." Rose said surely.
"Good." The Doctor managed to say, his voice sounding strangled and rough. "Onto the impossible things."
Rose nodded. The Doctor began.
"Number one. Give someone all of my trust."
"Already done," Rose replied automatically.
"Number two. Give someone all of my faith."
"If I believe in just one man, I believe in him," Rose told him.
"Number three. Give someone all of my love, and never take it back."
"By now, I couldn't stop loving this man even if I wanted to," Rose said certainly.
"Number four. Be happy with the way things are, and never object or say you want more."
"It's a tough job, but I've been doing it for months. He may never be ready to say it for himself, I know. And in that case, if he doesn't want what I do, the same way that I do, then I will never complain. If he loves someone else, I will never complain. Just being with him is enough, then."
"What is it that you want?" The Doctor asked, breaking his script to look up at Rose in her swirling chair by her dresser.
Rose blinked slowly. She wanted to tell him exactly what she wanted and simply snog him. But what she wanted right then, just wouldn't do. "Go on." She encouraged softly. "Read the last 'impossible thing'." She told him.
Suddenly petrified, The Doctor moved slower than a snail, slower than a sloth, as he removed his thumb from the very last 'impossible thing' Rose had written down for him. His eyes reading the lines and his mouth automatically speaking aloud what he saw.
"Number five. Find the courage, and tell The Doctor one day that you love him. No matter what"
The Doctor looked up at Rose, but she could barely see him. Her vision was blurred with what felt like a ten-foot wall of tears that she refused to shed. But one blink was all it took. And they fell.
Then she could see. Then she could finally see that The Doctor, the man she loved more than anything else in the universe-the Doctor never cried. It hurt her to see him even close to crying, even if his emotions were the same as hers.
Rising slowly from her chair, Rose walked over to the love of her life with a surprisingly steady calm. She crossed the room and knelt before him as he still sat on the end of her bed, he had hardly moved since she finally said the words (albeit a little indirectly) to him. On her knees before him, Rose finally dared to do the one thing she had always wanted to do whenever she saw him sad or in pain. She smoothed her hand down his cheek, holding his beautiful face in the palm of her hand.
"I have my courage now." She told him. "For a while there. I felt doubt. I doubted my trust and faith in you, and I even wondered if staying with you was worth loving you without you. Reinette she—I know you care about everyone, that you would always want to save the day for others but…For a while there I was afraid that—that you loved Reinette. I worried that, compared to her, The TARDIS and I were just paper dolls, temporary playthings in perspective to how…brilliant she is…or was. Or…something."
The Doctor managed a smile at Rose's struggle with proper grammar. But he didn't speak. Because he knew that Rose had more to say.
"But now, even while there's some person out there that has you wrapped around their little finger…I have my courage now. I still trust you. I still have faith in you. I still love you. More than anything. And even if you don't feel the same way, I promise that I'll always be happy with you. I will never complain and never want more. And I will never leave you. Not now, not ever. I'm going to stay with you forever. Because I love you, Doctor. Absolutely. Unashamedly. And Unreservedly. And I am prepared to say this same thing every day, even if you don't love me back. If it's what you need to hear, I'll say it."
The Doctor's eyes were warm and full of emotion. And suddenly, that non-stopping, always-running gob of his, could only say five words.
"You never read Number Five."
Rose shut her mouth immediately. She was surprised, stunned, just a little, by the words. For a moment, she stared at him. She had been predicting rejection, she had been hoping for acceptance. She had never expected that.
Warily, Rose slowly slid her gaze back to the Doctor's half sheet. The folded piece of paper was still on her dresser. She grabbed the note from the table, then, with tense apprehension; she knelt in front of the Doctor again to read it. She read it aloud as her eyes followed the words for the first time.
"Number Five…Tell Rose Tyler that I love her."
Rose swallowed, staring at the words. Still, her ears didn't miss the Doctor's voice when he responded, slowly, carefully.
"If she needed me to, if she ever asked me to, and if that was the one and only thing above all else that could guarantee that she would stay by my side…Then, of course, I would. I would tell her that I—I love her. I know that now, I do. I love her. Absolutely. Unashamedly. And Unreservedly. And I would tell her that every day, just for the sake of meaning what I say while I'm yammering about all the time."
Rose managed a wet chuckle at that. All it took was for her to blink, and suddenly; slow, burning trails were seared down her cheeks. One fell and landed right on that number. 5. Wiping away those warm tears slowly, Rose eventually looked up from the sodden paper to her Doctor.
Her Doctor; sitting up on the edge of the bed now, elbows on his knees, hand loosely wrapped together, and looking at her. Looking at her with such shining eyes; shining with such open honesty and sincerity of love that it almost broke her spirit.
She wanted to leap from her chair and into his arms in one swift motion, crashing with him onto the soft duvet as every word or thought of love she had ever held back from him, for him, came pouring out of her mouth and into his ear. Oh, how she wanted to tell him. Just confess or explode or snog or something. But all she could say were five little words.
"I love you too, Doctor." She said, sliding her hand up until her thumb was brushing his temple, her long fingers grooming the short chestnut hairs at the back of his neck. She smiled at him with the same warm love that was shining in his eyes.
"And I swear to you now, that if anything were ever to happen to us, whatever the universe throws at us—as long as I have you, you will be the only thing I will ever need." She said, without doubt
.
Gently, she pulled his forehead down to hers until their noses were almost touching. She was just thinking about something to say in that moment, but The Doctor stopped her. He put his hand to her cheek, brushing her cheekbone with the tip of his thumb and his eyes brimming with affection. But even then, he couldn't help but ask;
"How long are you going to stay with me?"
"Forever," Rose said cemented with certainty
"That's impossible." The Doctor told her with a kind smile.
"Too bad. Between the two of us, we're full of impossible things." Rose replied. "Who's to say we don't still have 'Forever' up our impossible sleeves." She dared him.
"No one." The Doctor finally realised with a grin.
"Because between the two of us…"
"We're the Stuff of Legends." The Doctor said.
"The Bad Wolf."
"And the Oncoming Storm."
"We complement each other,"
"And discover each other." He remembered.
"And—we are in love with each other."
"Absolutely.'' He said.
"Unashamedly." Rose echoed.
"And Unreservedly." The Doctor finished.
Rose threw him a teasing smile. "You forgot impossibly." She reminded him.
The Doctor finally grinned, really grinned. "Oh, yes! I do kind of like the impossible."
Rose grinned back, finally unable to control her happiness. "You're not the only one."
And one kiss later, their fates were sealed…for the rest of Forever.
