I lay her in the hospital bed, the last thing I remember is Sam and me playing, laughing and having fun, then it went all black and I woke up hear in the hospital bed. With the sound of my mum crying. A ask what was wrong and there was know reply. I look in the other direction and I herd foot steps reach my door and come in to the room I new the foot steps IV herd them before, but where I am un-shore. It's my doctor he sits on the end off my bed and takes a deep breath and asked how I was feeling.

I rolled over to face him he sat there with a look of uncertainty.

I go to reply but I failed to answer.

My head has started to heart and it's as if my heart was in my head. The constant thundering of my heart hitting the inside of you chest it's driving me insane. I call a nurse that walks past my door. She turns around and comes in the door. She turns around and comes in the door and said can it wait I need to see some one. She turns and walks out. As soon as I can't see her. I hear the pounding of foot steps as she races down the hall way. A few minuets later my doctor appears at my door. I take a deep breath and hold it for a second and release it with a sign.

"You're awake, good to see"

I stare at him he tries not to look at me but can't but help to stare. I'm so lost in my own world. I don't understand why every one is so happy but then so sad or turn and run from me. Is there some thing wrong with me or was it just one off my normal black outs. When I see a person I know so well yet so little. Am I dying? I must know I lent so little from the people around me. I can't bear to wit any longer it's driving me insane.

I'm starting to feel dizzy again. My doctor sill stands at my door an un-easy look still upon his face. I star at him then look around my room for a familiar face. Where is my mum I begin to stare at the corner where she sat the first time but she was not there a million thoughts run through my mind where could she be? I look back at the door where my doctor stood. But he was not there. I didn't even hear him leave.

I find a dark spot on the roof about the size off a $1 coin. I stared deeply into it a black hole gazing at my it's like the white light but its black does it lead to hell not heaven.

I wake with my family and Sam standing around me all staring. I smile at Sam and she turns away and walks out the room. My brother sat in the same corner as my mum did I gaze at him and catch his attention we star into each others eyes. He gives a smile and a tear runs down his face. I go to ask what was wrong but my dad catches my tong and said were sorry. And my brother and he walked out of the room.

It's been 3 days I think since my last visitor. Only the nurses and my doctor ever come to see me. Im not shore why but I don't really care. Im not lonely or worries that my family hasn't visited. My doctor hangs around a lot more. It's kind of creepy but it's nice to see a familiar face. My arms and legs are sore now, because im not able to get out of bed in case I black out and hit my head on some thing hard. The regular injections in the arm have given me a few too many bruises.

I think a lot more these days about whats happening out there in the real world as it goes around. Like what I've missed out on; school, parties and growing up. The regular screaming of other patients brings me back to reality.

My doctor now stands less and less at my door and no longer waits for me to say its ok to come in. he's getting the idea he's allowed to come in strait in without knocking or asking. We have the most random conversations about things I don't even know about. The loss of contact has finally sunk into my head, I've felt lonelier with every day that has gone.