All characters are property of ASW. Based on the tumblr site of the same name. I have no links whatsoever to the actual TT.
Some is entirely original material. Some taken verbatim or based on quotes from other media (no prizes for spotting which).
Ragna vs Crazy Jin
Ragna: "If you settle my debts, I might, MIGHT, consider having sex with you...but probably not."
Carl and Smiling Relius vs Defeated Makoto
Carl: "But he's my dad! We do everything together!"
Smiling Relius vs Defeated Carl
Relius: "Son, I am disappoint."
(Sorry. Couldn't resist)
Smiling Jin and Hakumen vs Smiling Tsubaki and Smiling Izayoi
Jin: "Who knew dressing up as superheroes would do so much for your love life?"
Happy Tsubaki vs Jin and Hakumen
Tsu: "If I marry two versions of the same man, is that still bigamy?"
Battle Stance Hazama vs Defeated Relius
Hazama's: "Yeah, I think we can safely say my snake is bigger than yours."
Nine vs Radio Terumi, Trinity in background
Nine: "Now if you'll excuse me, Trinity keeps insisting she's just figured out the tune to Funky Town."
Angry Jubei vs Terumi
Jubei: "For the last time, I AM NOT GRUMPY CAT!"
Hype Doge: "much astral. so distortion. many overdrive. wow."
Battle Stance Tsubaki vs Battle Stance Noel
Tsu: "And to think, in the first draft, I used to fancy you!"
Noel: "I think you still do...'
Mai vs Kajun
Mai: "So I answered the door to the Jehovah's witnesses; I told them I was trans. They left pretty quickly."
Kajun: "I did something similar once; I told them I had Leprosy. They ran away screaming."
Hakumen, Jubei and Valkenhayn vs Terumi
Hakumen: And now our next career move; A Barbershop Quartet!
Drunk Jin and Shocked Makoto vs Hazama and Imperator
Jin: Hash anyone sheen my pantsh? Can't see Imperator without pantsh.
School Makoto vs Embarrassed School Tsubaki and Embarrassed School Noel
Makoto: "When I touch you, I think about myself...no wait."