"Grrrrr, just where did you go now, my dearest Bern~?" Came a whiny growl that was not at all befitting of The Great Lady Lambdadelta.

Bernkastel had disappeared somewhere again. It's not like this was some kind of shocking occurrence, it was more like a staple of her entire character. And Lambdadelta still loved her despite of it, she adored everything about her darling, even the things she disliked about her were just more reasons to like her, ahhh~ She could feel her pupils turning into hearts already from the slightest thoughts about her beloved.

...But seriously, even though she also knew that Bernkastel could be a massive sore loser...isn't it juuust a little bit ridiculous to poof out of sight during a nice, simple game of chess because you figured that it was a waste of time to continue in your cornered position~~~!? Lambda could have cried...if only it wasn't in actuality Bernkastel's loss, in the end (and not just in the chess game, mind you). This time around, they had managed to meet each other again during their separate journeys in only a mere decade!

You're telling me that you're really throwing away a miracle of such grand proportions just like that!? I guarantee with certainty that this miracle is the most amazing I've seen yet in all my time of existence! And I also guarantee with certainty that I would have won that chess match, so come back here and take your loss so I can see your pathetic tears and beautiful grimace, already~~~!

Lambda sighed. All she could do now was keep counting and search again. She snapped her fingers, creating a gigantic rainbow lollipop in front of herself. She hopped onto the stick and maneuvered it like a surfboard through the sea of kakera. Might as well quell some boredom while she searched, after all. Every now and again, she would grab a random kakera and look into it, hoping to see her love or even a little clue. Alas, it was all just boring, boring, boring, and not to mention stupid!

At some point she ditched the surfboard, changing up her methods of travel a bit. She popped up in one place, disappeared, then popped up again a few feet ahead. This continued on for some time. Then, she pulled a small party horn out from beneath her pink hat, and when she blew into it, it created a gigantic arched bridge for her to walk across. Upon reaching the top of the upward hill, she was out of breath. She considered that maaaybe she made the bridge a bit too flashy, just this once. She kicked a rail and the whole thing crumbled to pieces. Soon, she was popping out of her black holes in random places. Don't waste your time worrying about them being able to harm her or anything of the sort, now that would only be humiliating and laughable.

I could give that fashion disaster Gaap a run for her money, ohohoho~! She'd be stretched apart right at the beginning of a race!

Lambdadelta froze for a bit. That reminded her, she wondered how all of them were doing...were they still enjoying the happy ending they earned? It had been far, far, far longer since she had last saw them. Maybe their Golden Land has just turned to ash at this point? Lambda would've laughed, but her face just wouldn't change from her current sentimental, slightly sad smile. She took another kakera floating nearby her; maybe, just maybe, it would be about one of the endless possibilities of Beatrice's catbox. It wasn't, though. She huffed and tossed it away, carelessly. As she continued floating along, she heard a delayed shatter. Or was it two?

...Whoops. Well, it's no skin off my bones!

Lambda paused again. Then, she exploded into a fit of giggles. She didn't even have bones, her body was made out of cotton candy! Good enough to eat. She kicked her legs up and down more and more furiously, astounded by her own hilarious joke. Then, in a very uncanny manner, she suddenly froze once more.

"Tch. So damn boring." She muttered, kicking at nothingness. She looked all around her, into the vast endless darkness.

The only things here were the occasional kakera. But she couldn't even find anything of any real merit from those lately, either. She plopped down on her butt (looking as if still in midair, as there was really no "ground" to speak of, but it almost felt to her like she had still hit something. Whatever, the sea didn't make much sense as it was, after all). She roughly put her chin into her hands, making her mouth look twisted into a pout. Maybe she was pouting, a bit.

"I'll make her rub my poor heavenly feet for this, when I get my hands on her." She sighed, looking around again. "...I wonder if Bern ever gets sentimental, too. Maybe even she misses rocking the Rokkenjima crew~? She has to miss me already, that's for sure. It's so cute how she tries to hide it by saying something sappy like, "I don't want to bore you" every time we part again. Mmm...I might be starting to turn all lonely and needy like her, too..."

...Could she even miss being *****? Is it possible? The games these days are so goddamn shitty that anything is possible at this point. Sometimes, I start to regret helping them, just a little. Maybe I could've had an extra few decades worth of laughter if I let things go to chaos. Sometimes, I start to regret helping anyone. Even...

Lambdadelta closed her eyes.

...that girl I miss.

Just then, she noticed. A special seeming glint that caught her even with her eyes closed. She moved her head lazily.

"...Oh? Now, tell me. Is this a message? Could this be another fan letter, or even a love letter? Is Bernkastel finally ready to apologize? Is it some hint, clue, game? Or..."

Just some miracle?

Lambdadelta grabbed the fragment and turned it all around in her gloved hand, but it was totally blurry. "Ah, I see. I'm forced to go in and look, aren't I? Well, that's okay." She shrugged. "I can at least get some burgers if you disappoint me."

Kyahahahahahahahahahaha!

A/N:

This idea came to me at the wee hours of the morning and I've been writing for hours since then, so uh, that's my apology for whatever this is/becomes. I have the whole basic plan figured out already, but...

This will be my very first real chaptered fic ever too, wow. Also, more apologies in advance if I don't write Lambda and/or Bern the best... I'm certainly (haha) trying my best. But yeah, I don't think I've ever written Lambda/Bern before (from what I remember) but I like them a lot. Probably won't do them any justice though.

The censored word is human. It was supposed to be a sort of "without love you can't see it" type thing, just like how the word love in censored sometimes in the visual novel and such. But well, I just flat out told you, like the horrid goat I am, I guess. Sorry if it's dumb.

The lollipop surfing is an Ougon Musou Kyoku (official Umineko fighting game) reference. Miyoko is the girl that Lambda misses, and I'm pretty sure she literally refers to her like that in the Lambda's Diary tip as well, if I recall correctly. I think that's everything important. Maybe after this fic is posted I'll finally leave this account for real.