At sunrise, Laura found herself wide awake on the hotel balcony. She knew she had another hour to sleep before she had to start getting ready, but her mind was racing. She had so much to do, very little time to do it in, and it all had to be perfect. For months, she'd been trying to stop herself from becoming Bridezilla. She knew she was prone to it. For much of her life, she had been kind of shallow, materialistic, and definitely a perfectionist, so she knew she was predisposed to Monster Bride behavior. She managed to keep herself under control, though. She was even surprised at how easy it was. There were a lot of things about this day that were going to be completely different than the way she had imagined them all her life, and those were just the things she could predict, but none of it bothered her. She never thought she would have a cheese sculpture at her wedding. She never thought she would invite people in lederhosen. She never thought she'd have a live polka band, even if it was for just a few songs. She never thought she'd serve badger filets. She never thought she'd be marrying Steve Urkel. As she ran through all of these things in her mind, she wasn't mad. She wasn't disappointed. She had no desire to throw a reality TV level tantrum. She actually had to suppress her giggles as she looked out over the cityscape. If she could tell any of this to her fifteen-year-old self, she'd have to tackle her teenage doppelganger to stop her from immediately performing hari-kari. She thought, considering how comfortable she'd been with it all up until that point and how comfortable she still was with all of the choices they had made, that she would be completely calm that morning, but she wasn't calm at all. She was teetering on the edge of the Bridezilla breakdown she'd feared, just not for any of the reasons she would have suspected. She was nervous that the badger would be overcooked, that the baker would forget the spam in the middle tier of the cake, that Stosh Kibbits and his band would get lost on the way. This day didn't have to perfect for her. It already was. She just wanted to make sure everything went the way Steve had always dreamed. He certainly waited long enough for it.
Little did Laura know, Steve was up just as early for essentially the same reasons. He sat at the kitchen table in the Winslow house, nervously chewing on a porcupine taquito. He couldn't get his mind off of everything that could go wrong on the most important day of his life. Much more concerning, he couldn't escape the fear that he may be the one to ruin it. He was haunted by visions of him spilling something on Laura's dress, knocking over the cake, knocking the entire bridal party into the fountain in front of the hotel, stepping on and breaking Laura's foot during their first dance. All he wanted was for Laura to have the day she had always dreamed of. He knew he wasn't the man she had been waiting for, but he wasn't the man she expected to take her to prom either, and he didn't ruin that until the end of the night. Maybe there was a little hope. Still, he sat in the same spot, munching on his nervous-tummy snack, for hours.
Laura, however, was soon joined by Max on the balcony. "Good morning, Future-Mrs.-Steve-Urkel. How are we feeling this morning?"
Laura turned back to look at her with a huge grin on her face, "I feel amazing, Max."
"No butterflies?"
"Swarms of them!" she said walking back into the room they shared the night before, "but they're good butterflies… for the most part."
Max followed her back in and they sat together on the edge of her bed, both in very comfortable pajamas. She took her hands and squeezed them, "So no cold feet, yet?"
Laura squeezed her hands back, "Not at all. I'm a little nervous about the wedding and the reception, but not about the marriage."
Max smiled wryly, "Are you sure? Because we could be at the airport in under twenty minutes. I have a get-away plan and everything."
Laura laughed and smacked her leg. "Girl! I won't be needing it," she insisted
"You are marrying Steve Urkel today," she said seriously. "Let that sink in."
Laura looked back at her just as seriously, "Do you think I'm making a mistake?"
"It doesn't matter what I think," Max said softly, regarding her compassionately.
"I want to know," Laura pressed.
Max paused for a long moment. "I think," she said eventually, "that if you let him, Steve will make you happier than any other man ever could."
Laura stared, a little surprised. She silently raised an eyebrow.
"I know I make fun of him and I know I make fun of you for liking him, but Steve Urkel is a good man. He's not my type, that's for sure, but I think you are incredibly lucky to have found a partner as devoted as he is," Max explained sincerely.
Laura smiled at her and pulled her in for a hug, holding back her tears. "Thank you, Max," she whispered.
Max hugged her tightly and smiled, too. "But that doesn't mean I'm looking forward to double dating with you ever again," she joked.
Laura laughed, "Too bad! Because once I'm married off, I'm going to have to send all the guys chasing after me to your doorstep."
Max laughed, too, and pulled away. She stood from the bed and waved to her. "C'mon. We're all having breakfast before we start getting dressed, which means you need to brush your teeth, because brides are not allowed to have morning breath."
Laura glared, but did get up to follow her.
Steve had breakfast plans, as well. He slipped into some pre-wedding clothes and met Carl, Eddie, Richie, 3J, and Fletcher in the living room. When he came down the stairs they all started calling out clichés.
"Ohhhhh! Dead man walking!" Eddie smiled.
"Ready for your last meal?" Fletcher called.
Steve ignored it all. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face. His nerves hadn't gone anywhere, and he was starting to feel mightily sleep deprived, but he couldn't think of any way he'd rather spend the morning than with his best guy pals killing time until the big moment.
They all piled into the car and drove out to Steve's favorite restaurant. None of them really knew what to expect for breakfast from a German restaurant, but when sausage and beer started coming out, they all relaxed a little.
"Steve," Carl said as they were eating, "you've hardly touched your food."
Steve looked down at his plate and noticed that Carl was right. He also watched as Eddie reached over and stole some sausage off his plate, "Well, how could you expect him to eat? In a few hours, Laura's gonna leave him at the altar." Eddie chuckled.
Steve's stomach flipped at the joke alone. Suddenly he felt much less full, but much more nauseous.
"Edward!" Carl scolded. "Steve, I know this is nerve-racking, but you've gotta eat. I remember on my wedding day, I was way too nervous to eat, but by the time I got to the church, I was so dizzy that Mama had to run out and buy some juice before I fainted."
"You… were too nervous to eat?" Fletcher asked with a raised brow.
Carl glared, but ignored him, "Eat up, Steve. You're already a fainter."
Steve nodded, "You're right, Big Guy. I'm just so worried that I'm gonna mess something up. I want this day to be perfect."
"Oh, well, there's an easy solution to that," Fletcher said.
"There is?" Steve asked.
"Sure, you just have to accept that it won't be. At every wedding, at least three things go wrong."
"Mm. That's true," Carl confirmed. "Let's see. At my wedding, there was the juice thing, the cake incident, and the flowers were the wrong color."
"And at my first wedding, the preacher was late, my mother-in-law was drunk, and my sisters fought over the bouquet so hard that they ripped each other's dresses."
Steve looked at them both, terrified.
"Oh, Steve," Carl said. "The important thing is that you get married. It's very simple. Just sign the right papers and say the right words. Everything else can be a total disaster."
Steve sighed, "With my luck, I'll be grateful to get through that much."
Eddie patted his back, "You gotta chill, man. You only get one of these. You have to enjoy it."
Steve nodded, but continued to only pick at his food.
Laura's breakfast, however, was a blast. Laura had never been in the same room with all of the women that she loved and they could not stop laughing. Her mother, aunt, and grandmother were giving her marriage advice. Max and Greta were making sarcastic comments. Myrtle Urkel amused them with stories of disastrous weddings she witnessed in the world of the southern belles. Greta and Myrtle were even civil since Myrtle had given up on Eddie.
"Oh!" Estelle began, "I got another one." She took another sip of her champagne.
Laura smiled to herself, knowing how her grandmother got with just a little bit of a buzz. This was sure to be interesting. Still, she was completely unprepared for what came next.
"When the time comes for you and Steve to slip up to the honeymoon suite, make sure you don't fake it. I made that mistake my first time and it was years before I was brave enough to admit it and finally get it right."
Laura's jaw dropped, "Grandma!" Oh, sure. She and Max had had some talks about what Laura expected out of her first time and what she thought would be different knowing that it was going to be with Steve Urkel, but that was not the same. It was one thing to talk with her girlfriends about that kind of stuff. It was entirely different to have that conversation with her grandmother, her mother, her aunt, her future cousin-in-law, her brother's girlfriend, and her best friend. Her family was pretty cool, though. They wanted her to wait until marriage, which she was a little surprised she actually had done, but otherwise, they helped her develop a healthy view of sexuality. She knew Steve was always very nervous and embarrassed about that kind of stuff, but she really wasn't. She just wasn't expecting to have a sex talk with so many people at eight in the morning.
"No, Laura," her aunt, Rachel, nodded, "she's right. That's good advice. Harriett made the same mistake."
"Rachel!" Harriett scolded, slapping her arm.
"Well, you did! Carl was strutting around like a god for the first three weeks of your marriage and then you finally told him the truth and he looked like you had taken him to the vet to get fixed."
Harriett turned to Laura, "They're right. Don't do it."
"I wouldn't," Laura insisted, surprised by how uncomfortable she was. She quickly finished her champagne.
"Girl, you would, too," Max said, filling her glass again. "Steve would give you that wounded puppy look and you would be fake screaming your head off before he could stammer out, 'D-d-did I do that?'" She imitated his nasal perfectly.
Laura covered her face and groaned. "Ugghhhhhh… Why are we talking about this?"
"Because it's important!" Max said, pulling Laura's hands away from her face. "Now, what else does she need to know? Because she's already heard all my advice."
"Hmm…" Rachel pursed her lips in thought.
Harriett took a long sip of her champagne. She was glad to be able to talk about sensitive topics with her daughter, but she wasn't exactly comfortable with it. Nothing a little champagne couldn't fix, though.
"Oh!" Rachel continued. "Ok, this is really important. Nobody seems to know this. If you do it right, you shouldn't bleed."
"What?" every woman at the table asked.
Rachel nodded seriously. "Your hymen doesn't actually cover it all the way. It just covers part. If you warm up properly and he's gentle, it should just stretch a little. The problem is that most girls don't know when they're ready and most guys don't know how to help them get ready until they're more experienced."
Maybe this was an important conversation. Laura, and everyone else, stared at Rachel in shock. "You're a damn liar!" Myrtle barked, making everyone turn to her.
"It's true," Rachel insisted.
"Did you bleed?" Harriett asked.
"Oh, yeah. Tons," Rachel confirmed.
"We need to go find a biology textbook," Myrtle stood from the table. She immediately walked out the door. She was a woman on a mission. Everyone laughed as it slammed behind her.
Laura looked around the table. She did have one question to ask. "Guys, what do you do if… he's kind of… big?"
Everyone laughed again, but it was a much more pointed laugh. None of them believed for a moment that that was an issue Laura would ever have to worry about.
She looked at them, blushing. "I'm serious," she said over their laughter.
They stared at her, confused. "Laura," Harriett asked, "are you saying what we think you're saying?"
Laura grimaced, "Yeahhh?"
Max turned to her, "Ok, no. Wait. You're saying that Steve Urkel… that scrawny guy who can't grow a mustache… the one whose voice is higher than Michael Jackson's… that boy that you're marrying who insisted you wait until marriage… that guy… is… hung?"
Laura nodded and placed her face back in her hands.
"I'm sorry," Harriett scolded, "but when did you see it?"
Laura looked up, a little less embarrassed because she had a good explanation for that one. "He once walked in on me in the shower and we saw each other naked. It was years before we were even dating."
Harriett narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "That better be the truth, young lady."
"Mom, relax. I'm marrying the man. I think you can rest easy knowing you raised a prude."
Max snorted, "Prude is not the word I would use. You're more like a very monogamous slut. You know, like you really only wanna be with one guy, but you would do literally anything with him, right?"
"Maxine!" Laura barked, hitting her arm.
"Ow," she said pointedly. "But for real, can we get back to the Urkel penis problem, because… like, how big?"
"Big," Laura insisted.
"But it's the only one you've ever seen, right?" Greta asked.
"Right."
"So how do you know?" Rachel continued.
"Well, girls… talk, and it's… big."
"Can you estimate?" Max asked, sincerely curious.
"No," Laura said, embarrassed. "Just trust me. It's big."
"Long or thick?" Estelle asked flatly.
"Both?" Laura replied.
"Huh. Was he excited when you saw it?" Rachel asked.
"You mean, like excited excited? No. Oh, God. Is it going to get bigger?"
"Probably not," Rachel replied. "Most guys are either 'growers' or 'showers' and he sounds like a 'shower'."
"Oh, thank God!" Laura relaxed slightly. "So what do I do?"
Estelle continued, "You will definitely need to be warmed-up, then. I'm sure Steve will enjoy foreplay, so don't let him rush through it."
"And when you give him a blowjob," Rachel said, as Laura's eyes widened, "most of it won't fit in your mouth, so use your hands on that part."
"And don't let him hold your head while you do… that," Harriett added, embarrassed, "if he's really that big, you'll choke."
"I feel like we aren't really appreciating the fact that you have seen Steve Urkel naked and have never told anyone about his huge dick," Max laughed. "Were you afraid somebody would try to steal him? Oh my God, is that why you're marrying him?"
"No!" Laura insisted, but then the image of his naked body popped back into her head. "But it's not not on the list of reasons."
The ladies laughed. Laura was embarrassed by the conversation, but she was relieved that she was able to talk to someone about her wedding night before she and Steve were alone. She had tried to get him to talk about it in detail with her, but he always got nervous and changed the subject. They kept talking for a while longer, but eventually, they all had to start getting ready.
As Steve stood in front of the mirror, tying his bowtie, he tried to take deep, steady breaths. He reminded himself over and over that Laura helped him pick out the tux and that it was exactly what she wanted, but as he stared at himself, he couldn't help but feel self-conscious. He wasn't exactly what she had wanted and putting on the tuxedo didn't change anything. He couldn't get his mind off of Eddie's earlier joke. What if she did leave him? What would he do? Laura hadn't always been clear about developments in their relationship and she hadn't always been faithful to her boyfriends. She was a bit of a runner and he was terrified of scaring her away and being forced to live without her. As much as he wanted everything to go according to plan so that she could have a perfect wedding day, he realized that he also wanted to keep everything on the rails so he didn't spook her. She was like a deer in the woods. One false move and she was a major flight risk.
"Steve!" Carl called. "The limo's here! We have to get a move on!"
"Coming!" Steve called as he sprinted down the stairs. When he reached the bottom, everyone was out in the limo, except for Carl, who met him at the bottom of the stairs.
"Hold it!" Carl barked, stepping in front of him. He reached for his tie and untied it. He straightened it out and quickly redid the bow, leaving it crisp and even this time around. He smiled at Steve and squeezed his shoulders. "There. Now, you're ready."
Steve swallowed hard and looked at Carl sincerely, "No, I'm not, Big Guy. I'm scared stiff."
Carl looked back at him, just as sincerely. "You have nothing to worry about, Steve. This is going to be the best day of your life. You're finally going to be a part of the family."
"But what if I mess it up?"
"You won't, Steve. Laura chose you. If she wanted someone who didn't bump into things and who didn't stick his foot in his mouth, she would have chosen Stefan. You can't ruin this as long as you're yourself."
Steve smiled, touched by his reassurance. He tugged at his lapels and straightened his posture. "You're right!" he said, swaying confidently. "That girl's crazy about me. The real me. It's practically my job to knock over the wedding cake!"
"Atta boy, Steve! Now, let's go!" he said moving to the door.
"Hey, Carl?"
"Yeah, Steve?"
"I can't wait to be a part of your family."
"You already are," Carl said giving him a quick hug before he opened the door and led the way to the limo.
Laura arrived at the church in full hair and makeup. They slipped into the bridal suite, knowing that all she had left to do was put on her dress and wait. Max did a few last minute touch-ups before she got dressed. Her short hair was pinned up in curls with her veil secured to it. Her makeup was soft and subtle, accenting all of her best features. Though she wouldn't admit it, because she didn't want her best friend to get too big a head, a part of her wished Max would do her hair and makeup every day. She had never looked so good.
However, it certainly didn't match the sweats she was wearing, so as the momentous occasion approached, she stood to get dressed. She slipped off her clothes and stepped into the A-line dress before her. She pulled the sweetheart neckline up to cover her bare breasts and walked over to Max to help her lace the corset. With help from Myrtle and Greta, they got her into the tight dress and Laura turned to admire herself in the mirror. She knew she was going to look good, but damn. She outdid herself. Her dress was classy, but still showed off her cleavage, her tiny waist, and her butt. She looked like the sexiest princess to ever walk the Earth. She couldn't even imagine what Steve would think when he saw her.
"Oooo, Laura," her mom smiled, standing behind her, "You are going to kill that boy when he gets an eyeful of you."
Laura smiled. In fact, she couldn't stop smiling. "Thank you, Mom." She turned around quickly and hugged her tightly.
"Ladies," Max warned, "I am not redoing your makeup if you cry it all off."
They let go and Laura looked around at everyone in the room. "Thank you all so much for your help. I can't believe how lucky I am to have all of you. I love you so much."
Everyone responded in kind. No one in the room ever thought they'd get to this point. Well, no one except Estelle. She stood and moved to hold her granddaughter's hands. "Laura," she began, clasping them tightly, "if you break that boy's heart, I'm gonna come after you."
Laura's jaw dropped. That was definitely not what she was expecting, but she rolled with it. Honestly, she appreciated that someone else was looking out for Steve. "Good," she agreed. "You should." Then, she hugged her grandmother close.
When it was time for Steve to head down the aisle and wait at the altar, he hesitated in front of the large, cherry doors. The rest of the guys had to stay behind to walk the women down the aisle, so it was just him, facing the biggest moment of his life, all alone. Being alone wasn't really anything new to him, though. It was the thought of being with Laura for the rest of his life that had his heart pounding out of his chest. He tried to steady his knocking knees and he pushed hard on the doors.
But they didn't budge. He pushed harder, eventually applying all of his body weight. Still, they didn't move. This couldn't be happening. He was going to miss his own wedding and Laura was going to think he didn't love her, all because he couldn't get in. He banged on the door loudly, hoping some guest would let him in. He could hear talking inside, but no one came to his rescue. He couldn't let this happen. He walked back to the opposite wall and started to sprint toward the doors. He would bust them down if he had to.
"Ahem."
Steve stopped in his tracks, just before ramming the doors to see the preacher standing behind him. "Oh, hello. I… Um… I can't get in," he said shyly. The preacher walked to the door and pulled on the handle, easily opening it wide for him. Steve blushed, "Oh, hah. It's a pull, huh?" He quickly walked in, murmuring his thanks, before he lost his nerve. The preacher followed behind him.
Steve took his place at the front of the church and shook uncontrollably. He suddenly wished he had eaten even less at breakfast because he really didn't want to toss his cookies all over Laura's presumably very fancy and very expensive heels. He kept his eyes locked on the door. He hadn't seen her since their rehearsal dinner the night before. It had only been sixteen hours, but it felt like torture being without her for so long. He didn't want to miss the first second he was allowed to see her again. Still unsteady, as he waited, he said silent prayers. He prayed that she would meet him at the altar. He prayed that she would say, "I do." He prayed that he wouldn't ruin their wedding. He prayed that he could surpass all of her expectations. He prayed that he wouldn't ruin their marriage. He prayed that he could make her happier than she ever imagined. He prayed that she would be happy, healthy, and loved for the entirety of a long, fulfilling life. He prayed that he would get to be by her side every step of the way.
As Steve headed into the church, Eddie, 3J, Richie, Carl, and Fletcher congregated outside of the bridal suite, waiting for the ladies to appear. Carl was completely unprepared for what he saw when they did. He saw Myrtle, Greta, and Max, who looked lovely. Well, Max and Greta did. He saw Rachel and his mother. He saw his beautiful wife, looking better than she did on their own wedding day, and he kissed her tenderly. Then, however, he saw his little girl and she took his breath away. She walked up to him with a bright smile on her face and reached up to straighten his tie. It was the brightest smile he'd ever seen. He couldn't believe how joyful she looked. All of his concerns melted away immediately and he knew that everything he ever thought about her relationship with Steve was dead wrong. She had found her soul mate. He just didn't realize it until he saw that look in her eye. He knew that look. That was the look he had on his wedding day. That was the look that said she was at peace and without any doubt. That was the look of true love.
She stared at him, "Well, what do you think?" she asked when he failed to speak.
He smiled, but as he did, his eyes started to water. Must have been his allergies. Yeah, allergies. "Oh, Sweetheart… You have never looked happier."
Laura was deeply touched by his compliment. She expected him to say something about how beautiful she looked or how much she looked like her mother or how grown-up she was, but instead, he said something that told her he was seeing way past what was on the outside. He was seeing her heart and she looked away shyly as she realized she finally had his true blessing. This was really happening. "Thank you, Daddy," she whispered, choking on her tears.
"Do you have your something old?" he smiled.
"My ring."
"Something new?"
"Steve bought me this necklace," she said, pointing to the pearls on her neck.
"Something borrowed?"
"Mom's earrings."
"And something blue?"
She looked away, "Umm… my garter is blue."
His eyes widened, "Well, I didn't want to hear that today…"
She laughed and hugged him. "I love you so much, Daddy. Thank you for everything."
"I love you, too, Laura," he whispered in her ear. "Thank you for being such an incredible young woman."
Everyone had lined up in front of the church doors, so Carl offered her his arm. They stopped at the end of the line. The music started to play and Max turned back to her. "Ok, last chance to run. I've got two tickets to Bermuda hidden in this bouquet."
Laura rolled her eyes, "I'm doing this, Max."
"No doubts?"
"No doubts," Laura promised.
Steve heard the music start and he felt faint. He forced himself to focus as Estelle walked in on Fletcher's arm and they took their seats in the front row. She smiled at him and waved. He waved back less subtly. Then Richie walked out with Rachel and she sat by Estelle while Richie stood up next to Steve. Then Harriett walked in on 3J's arm and smiled at Steve. He smiled back, feeling very much like a Winslow in that moment. He had completely forgotten his own parents weren't there. 3J stepped up next to Richie and Harriett took the most frontward seat, excluding the one saved for Carl. Greta and Myrtle walked down alone after them, taking their places on the altar. Finally, Eddie walked out with Max. The cherry doors shut behind them. Laura hated to have such a small uneven wedding party, and Steve knew that, but he also knew that she understood his only real friends were her family members, so she never pressed him on it. The way it ended up working out, his groomsmen had to walk Harriett and Rachel down the aisle, so her bridesmaids were left alone. When they reached the altar, they split apart. Eddie took his place next to Steve, squeezing his shoulder and Max moved to Laura's side of the altar. Steve's eyes met Max's for a moment and she smiled. She mouthed the word, "Nerd" to him and he smiled back. He knew he wasn't who Max envisioned for her best friend, but he also knew that she was a wonderful person who only teased him because she cared. He was pretty used to that.
The music changed and he whipped his head back around to the doors in front of him. His mouth flew open when he saw his beautiful bride. She was breathtaking. She was stunning. She was a goddess. Plus, she was smiling right at him. He couldn't think of a time when he saw a smile on her face more pure and more powerful than the one he saw now. He adjusted his mouth, physically lifting his chin with his hand, so he could smile back even brighter. He was the luckiest man in the world.
He couldn't see through her veil, but Laura was already crying a little. She promised herself she wouldn't, but he looked so goofy and dorky and she just couldn't handle the fact that she was finally going to give him what he'd always wanted. She felt like the most blessed person in the universe to be able to give such a long-desired gift to the most amazing person in her life.
When they reached the steps of the altar the preacher asked, "Who gives this woman away?"
Carl smiled proudly at Laura and then at Steve, "Her mother and I do." He turned back to Laura and lifted her veil. He kissed her gently on the cheek and whispered in her ear, "Take care of him." He took her by the hand and stepped up to the top of the altar where he met Steve. They shook hands, but Steve drew him in for a big hug. Carl took the opportunity to whisper to Steve, too, "Take care of her, son." Carl pulled away from Steve and placed Laura's hand in Steve's. He turned and headed back to Harriett.
Steve gently gripped Laura's hands, but couldn't meet her eyes.
The preacher began with his standard spiel, "Dearly beloved…", but neither of them heard a word of it. Laura was trying to convince Steve to look her in the eyes and he was fighting her. She continued to try, but before long, it was time for their vows.
"The couple has decided to write their own vows in addition to the traditional ones. Steve?"
Eddie handed Steve his notecards, but Steve refused to take them. He just stared silently at their joined hands. Laura was beginning to get nervous.
"Steve?" she said softly.
His heart melted when he heard the concern in her voice and he met her eyes. He was immediately grounded and his heart slowed to a normal pace. He realized that he had done this a thousand times before. He spent his whole childhood vowing to be hers, but she never listened. He finally had her full attention to tell her all of the things he had always wanted to. His notecards simply wouldn't be enough. "Laura," he began, stepping closer to her.
"WAIT!" shouted a familiar voice from the back of the church.
Steve cringed and Laura used every ounce of her strength to remember why she didn't want to beat that woman to a bloody pulp… She didn't want to ruin her dress. Steve released her hands and stepped ever so slightly in front of her to protect her. Laura placed a hand on his back for support, grateful that he was willing to stand up for them today.
"Myra," he said, "how on Earth did you get in here?"
She smiled sweetly and held up a wig and a trench coat. "You didn't expect me to miss this, did you, Stevie?" She stomped forward, out into the aisle, and everyone's heads turned to follow her.
"I can't say that I did," Steve admitted.
"The only problem is that this bozo in robes didn't ask for objections."
"We asked him not to. We weren't really looking for community input," Laura smiled sarcastically.
"Oh, no? Why not? Were you afraid that someone might object to you showing all your goodies in a church, Mary Magdalene?" Myra quipped, gesturing to Laura's bust.
Laura scoffed. Remember your dress. Remember your dress. Remember your dress.
"Myra!" Steve scolded. "That is completely uncalled for. Now, look. Laura and I are getting married today. There is nothing you could say that would stop that."
"She cheated on you while you were in Houston," Myra blurted.
Everyone gasped, except for Steve and Laura. Laura rolled her eyes and Steve turned slowly to her. "You what?" he asked softly in disbelief.
Laura looked back at him, shocked, "I'm sorry, you believe her?"
"Well," Steve stammered.
Laura glared at him, "I didn't cheat on you, Steve. How could you think for a second that I did?" The room relaxed slightly.
Steve opened his mouth to reply, but had trouble finding the right words. "W-well, it's just that… um… it wouldn't be the first time." Everyone gasped again.
"Steve!" Laura yelled as murmurs began to fill the church. "I have never cheated on you!" All of the guests sighed audibly in relief.
"Well, no, not on me…" They all cringed.
Laura was speechless. Her face fell to reveal how deeply hurt she was.
"Ok," Carl said as he rose from his seat. "I think that's enough drama for today. Myra, you gotta go." He gestured to some of his men in the pews. They stood and walked toward her slowly.
"I have a right to be here," she screeched defensively.
"No, you don't," Carl said as he took her arm to lead her out of the church. "This is a private ceremony."
She fought slightly, but it was a room full of cops against one, so she bowed out gracefully. Or gracefully for Myra. "Call me when this all falls through, Stevie! I'm still willing to have your babies!"
Steve breathed a big sigh of relief when she was escorted out and Carl returned to his spot. Steve turned to Laura with a big smile on his face, only to be greeted by a seething scowl. He recoiled slightly.
The reverend cleared his throat and asked, "Are we ready to continue?"
Steve nodded, but Laura grabbed his hand, with a painful grip. His knees buckled slightly as she started to lead him out of the church. "Owww! Um… We're going to need a minute. Everybody relax. Be merry! We'll be right back. Ow ow ow owwwww!"
Laura pulled him into the bridal suite and yanked him down to sit by her on the small couch. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.
He knew he was supposed to say something, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what. Myra was gone. They could breathe easily now, right? "Well, it looks like she's gone for the night, Sweetums, so you can relax."
Laura scoffed and looked away from him as she shook her head. How could a genius be so clueless? "What the hell is wrong with you, Steve Urkel?" she scolded.
"A lot of things, Pumpkin. You're gonna have to be more specific," he shrugged.
"How could you say all of that in front of everyone we know? How could you even think… any of that?"
"Again," he said softly, trying to keep his voice cool, so that she would calm down, "I'm going to need you to be more specific."
"How could you ask me if I cheated on you? How could you bring up the very few times that I cheated on Stefan? Remember, he was the only guy I've ever cheated on. How did that suddenly become relevant to our relationship?" she ranted as her eyes began to well with tears.
"Well, it's always been relevant, Laura. If you hadn't been unfaithful, we never would have gotten together!"
"So, now what? You can never trust me because our relationship started on thin ice?"
"No, Sweetheart. I trust you! I trust you with my life!" he appealed, trying to take her hands, though she withdrew.
"That's great, Steve, but do you trust me not to cheat on you?"
He hesitated for just a moment too long.
"Damn it, Steve!" Laura shouted as she stood from the couch. She turned from him so he wouldn't see her crying, but he could tell.
"Laura, it's not that I don't trust you. It's that… I don't trust that I'm always going to be enough for you," he said softly, standing behind her and placing his hands on her bare shoulders. She tried and failed to hold back her soft sobs. Her shoulders shook with each one. He turned her around and wrapped her in his warm embrace. He felt her relax slightly as she buried her face in his neck. He held her close as he felt his skin grow wet with her tears.
"Steve…" she tried to say as she cried.
He squeezed her closer, "It's not you, Laura. I promise it's not you."
She pulled away from him so she could look him in the eye. "How can we get married if you can't even trust me?"
He looked away, scared that she would walk out of the door any second. "Maybe I can learn," he offered.
Laura stared at him, realizing he had a point. They hadn't been a couple for very long at all. It always felt to her like they had because she was used to his unyielding attention, affection, and devotion. That had been a constant in her life since she was five years old. For him, however, the way she was treating him was all new. How could she expect him to trust that it wouldn't all fall out from under him as quickly as it appeared? How could she expect him to trust her before she had earned that trust? "I'm going to prove myself to you, Steve," she said, looking him in the eyes.
"What?"
"You don't trust me, yet, but you're going to. I'm going to show you that this time is different. I have never been more sure of anything in my life, Steve. My feet have never been so warm. I get why you aren't convinced that I'm here to stay, but I'm going to convince you. It doesn't matter how long it takes. You spent fifteen years proving yourself to me over and over. I can give you more time to trust me," she promised.
He swallowed hard, "So, you still want to marry me?"
"Of course, I do," she said, squeezing his hands tightly. "God, Steve. If I were willing to walk away just because you said something stupid and embarrassed me, then I wouldn't deserve your trust. I'm not going anywhere. Ever."
"I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings, Laura Lee. I never meant… It came out all wrong."
Laura sighed, "It's ok, Steve."
"Are you sure?"
"Well, I can't say it's forgotten, but I forgive you."
"You're the most wonderful woman in the universe."
She shook her head, "Can we go in there and make this official before something else happens?"
"Abso-tutle-lutely!" he beamed, standing to offer her an arm.
"Can you send Max out here?" she asked, not taking his arm. "I need her to fix my makeup."
"You look perfect, Laura," he said, staring at her.
"Can you just humor me on this?" she begged.
He nodded, "I'll see you out there?"
"Definitely," she smiled.
Steve returned to his place at the altar and sent Max out. In only a couple of minutes, the music played and Max walked down again. Carl met Laura at the door and gave her away again. This time, as Steve held her hands, his eyes never left hers.
She was more nervous now than she had been before, but she continued to look at him.
Steve was asked for his vows, and he again refused the note cards, "Laura," he began, "I wrote and rewrote my vows a hundred times. Nothing I can say in a short period of time can sum up the way I feel about you, but I don't think I need to. That's not what vows are really about. You know how much I love you. What you don't know is what kind of husband I'm going to be. Laura Lee Winslow, I promise you that I will always love you as much as I do now, if not more. I promise I will do everything I can to make you happy. I will do anything for you. You will always have my heart. I have tried a million times to get over you, but I think it's pretty clear that that's never gonna happen. Now that you love me in return, I promise you, I will do everything I can to earn your love every second of every day. You are the greatest gift in my life and I promise that, at some point, you'll feel the same way about me." Steve finished his vows by squeezing her hand. He couldn't believe how steady he felt. He always imagined he'd be a wreck on their wedding day, but instead it was Laura who couldn't keep it together.
Eddie reached out and handed Steve Laura's wedding ring. The diamonds that wrapped around the band sparkled as they hit the light. "Steven Quincy Urkel," the preacher began, "do you take Laura Lee Winslow to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?"
Steve held Laura's hand and slipped the ring onto her finger, adding her engagement ring back on after it, with totally steady hands. "I do," he said, gazing confidently into her eyes.
"Laura?" the preacher prompted.
Max leaned forward to hand Laura her notecards, which she released Steve's hands to gladly take. She wiped a couple of tears from her face and took a deep breath as she began. Her eyes locked on her cards, she said, "Steve, writing these vows was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Everything I wrote seemed like I was saying too little, too late. There are no words that I could say today that could match what you've said to me on a regular Tuesday. There is nothing I could say that could pay you back for anything you've ever done for me. There is nothing I could say that could make up for any of the terrible things I've said or done to you." She looked up to meet his compassionate eyes and said softly so only he could hear, "There's nothing I could say that could magically make you trust me." She handed her notecards back to Max and took his hands having suddenly memorized everything she had left to say. "I don't deserve your love, Steve. No one does. There is no one in the world who deserves to be loved as unconditionally as you've loved me. There is only one thing I need to promise you today. I promise you, Steve, that I will do everything in my power to love you the same way. I'm not sure that I can. I'm not sure anyone else in the world has as much love in their heart as you do, but I promise I will try. I will always try. I love you, Steve Urkel." Her nervousness finally left her again. As she said the words, she believed them and she prayed that he did, too. From the tears streaming down his face, it appeared that he did.
Steve ripped his hands away from her and grabbed a hankie. He blew his nose dramatically and the room erupted in giggles. He took Laura's hands again and stepped even closer to her.
"Do you, Laura Lee Winslow, take Steven Quincy Urkel to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him, for as long as you both shall live?"
Steve held his breath, expecting to wake up from the world's most vivid dream at any moment.
"I do," she said, choking on her tears as she slipped his ring on his finger.
"Then by the power vested in me by God and the state of Illinois, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
Everyone started to clap, but Steve didn't move. He couldn't move. He started to panic. He was supposed to kiss her, but he forgot how to kiss. He forgot how to move. He couldn't –
Suddenly, Laura wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his. She traced her tongue against his lips, waiting for him to open his mouth, which he eventually did as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer against him. She slipped her tongue in his mouth and refused to pull away.
The applause continued as Steve tipped her down into a dip. She squealed softly in his mouth, but he held on tight to her waist. When he was completely out of breath, he tipped her back up and broke the kiss, still holding her close.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Steven Q. Urkel!"
Steve was frozen again, but Laura slipped her arm in his and almost ran down the aisle as her wedding party and family followed closely behind. She led him into the bridal suite, where they were meant to sign their marriage certificate and Max and Eddie followed them in. She turned to Steve with a bright smile on her face. "Hi," she said. He was breathing heavily and he couldn't take his eyes off of the floor. She stepped closer to him and placed a hand under his chin, tilting his face back up to look at her.
"Hi," he whispered breathlessly as their eyes met again.
She pressed her body firmly against his and he wrapped his arms around her, as if he were trying to hold her so tightly that she couldn't get away. They just stared at each other, completely oblivious to Eddie and Max, until the preacher entered the room with the certificate. Laura pulled away from Steve and took a pen from the preacher. She leaned over the table and moved to sign her name.
"Girl, wait. This is really your last chance to call this whole thing off," Max joked over her shoulder.
Steve's heart started to pound faster and he looked at Laura with his mouth agape. She laughed as she turned back to him. "She's kidding, Steve," she said softly, squeezing his hand reassuringly. She turned back and signed her name. She placed the pen in Steve's hand and he signed, as well. Max and Eddie followed suit.
"There," the preacher said with a soft smile, "now, you're really married."
Laura smiled knowingly back at Steve. "Do you have the other document for me to sign?" she asked the preacher.
"I do," he responded pulling something out and placing it in front of her. She took the pen and began to sign and initial where necessary.
"Other document?" Steve questioned.
As she finished her signature, she turned and held the paper up to Steve. "I am now officially Laura Lee Urkel."
"You are?" Steve gawked. "I thought you were going to do that when we got back from our honeymoon!"
"I wanted to surprise you," she smiled.
Steve was deeply touched. He knew Laura wasn't terribly excited to become an Urkel. She was very attached to her own name and she wasn't too keen on the family attached to his. He never pressed the issue, but she quickly realized how important it was to Steve. Had she married someone else, she likely would have kept her own name, but to Steve, taking his name was like the ultimate acceptance of who he was. It showed she was proud to be with him. She hated to miss an opportunity to show her devotion to him. His insecurities required a lot of attention, but being that she was responsible for many of them, she never hesitated to help where she could.
"You didn't have to," Steve said as she stepped closer to him.
"I wanted to… for you."
"Thank you so much, my love," he whispered as he pulled her in for a hug.
"You're welcome, Steve."
"I promise I will make this up to you."
She kissed him on the cheek, "Just be you, Steve. That's more than enough."
"Yo, I am starving, so can we get started on these pictures so I can find my way to the hors d'oeuvres at the reception?" Eddie interrupted.
Steve laughed and snorted as they pulled apart and Laura rolled her eyes. "Are you sure you want him to be your best man?" she asked Steve.
"C'mon," he said, wrapping an arm around her to hold her close as they walked. "We have some pictures to take. I want to document your descent into crazy for posterity."
After the pictures were done, Laura and Steve got into their limo all alone. The rest of the family was in another one behind them. Laura realized that this was the first time they had been alone as husband and wife, and she decided to take full advantage of it. The moment he slipped into the seat next to her and the door closed, she hopped into his lap, barely managing to straddle him in her big dress. He stared at her wide-eyed, but she shut him up before he could object with a long, deep kiss. Their tongues danced softly and she pulled away only to suck on his bottom lip. He moaned and placed his hands on her hips, "Mmmmmm…"
She nibbled softly on his lips and started to grind on his lap. She moaned in return, "Mmmm…" His eyes flew open and he wiggled out from under her, tearing his lip out of her strong, suctioning mouth. As she found herself in a seat alone, she looked to him on the other bench for an explanation. When one didn't come she asked softly, "Why don't you want to kiss me, Steve?"
Oh, that question was like an arrow through his heart, and her pouty lips didn't help at all. He did want to kiss her. He wanted to do way more than that, but this was neither the time nor the place, "I do want to kiss you," he promised, "but we can't get too hot and heavy."
"Why not?" she asked, "We're married now."
"Yes," Steve agreed, confused, "but we're in a limo."
She continued to pout, "I'm not saying we should… consummate our marriage, yet, Steve." She tried to use one of the few words for sex that he felt somewhat comfortable with. "I just thought we could enjoy one of the last moments we're going to be alone until we go to… bed."
"I did enjoy it. I enjoyed it very much," he assured her.
"Then why did you run over there?" she probed.
"B-because… You're so sweet and innocent, Laura Lee. I just didn't want to start something that might make you uncomfortable before the reception."
Laura laughed out loud. "I'm innocent? God, Steve, I am still a virgin, but I'm not naïve. I know at least as much about this stuff as you do."
"Oh, no you don't. I'm a virgin, too, but I had to change in the boys' locker-room. I've heard… things."
She moved close to Steve again and placed a hand on his thigh, "What do you think girls talk about in the locker-room?" She started to rub his upper thigh, but he moved again. She was once again left alone. "Steve!"
"I don't think we should talk about this anymore," he said firmly.
She exhaled deeply. She was very concerned that talking about sex made Steve so uncomfortable, but she also didn't want to pressure him. He was clearly nervous and she figured that driving him to a panic attack when they were only a few minutes away from the reception was a bad idea. "Hey," she said softly, moving next to him again. He flinched when she sat by him, which hurt her feelings a little. She looked at him sadly, "we don't have to do anything we're not both ready for, but I do want to kiss you, Steve."
He looked at her nervously. He wanted to kiss her, too, but the way she was attacking him reminded him of Myra, which made him very uncomfortable. Laura had always been forward about what she wanted, but she was also reserved. Now that they were married, he was starting to worry she may be expecting more from him than he could really give.
"Can we, please, just kiss the way we used to? We can leave a little distance between us, keep our hands in innocent places. I just really want to kiss you."
He nodded and leaned in to kiss her gently. She responded more forcefully, but still much calmer than she was before. This was his Laura. He pulled her in closer, but held her softly and innocently. Their tongues continued to play until their chauffeur opened the door. Steve pulled away embarrassed, but Laura just stroked his face and gently wiped her lip gloss from his lips before sliding out of the limo.
When they walked in, everyone else had already arrived and they were announced to a room full of cheers. Being back in the public eye had lightened Steve up a little and he smiled brightly as he led Laura to their seats. They had rented the hall that their prom was in and the head table was in front of the window to the balcony where Laura graced him with their first real kiss. Tongue and everything! The first thing on their schedule was the speeches. Everyone was poured glasses of champagne and Maxine stood to make her toast.
She was actually a little nervous. She had a tough time writing a speech for something she never saw coming. "Hey, everybody," she began. "Um. If you don't know, my name is Maxine Johnson and I have been Laura's best friend since elementary school. We did everything together. We studied together. We were cheerleaders together. We double dated. We have always been inseparable. Being close with Laura, also means that I've spent a lot of time with Steve Urkel. I remember the first time I met him. It was in third grade. I was new to the school and I sat next to Laura because she had a killer Punky Brewster lunch box."
Everyone laughed and she turned to face Laura and Steve. "Then, Urkel walked in and when I say walked, I mean he crawled in on his hands and knees with the American flag trailing behind him."
Laura remembered the incident and rested her face against her hand. Steve put an arm around her, a little embarrassed and she looked back up at him, squeezing his knee affectionately.
"It turned out," Max continued, "that some bullies ran him up the flag pole by his suspenders and when they cut him down, he fell six feet and they couldn't figure out how to unhook the flag, so he just crawled to class." Max stared at him and shook her head. "That's when Laura introduced him to me as the pest who couldn't take a hint and for years, that's all he was. Then one day, Laura and I went to a party."
Laura's eyes darted immediately to Max. She suddenly realized that Max was about to tell everyone she knew about her drunken stupidity and reveal to Steve that she remembered it. She stared daggers at her, hoping she could take a hint.
She got the hint, but ignored it. "Laura got sloppy drunk and I had to call Steve to come rescue her. Little did I know, I was sending her home with her nerdy destiny. I did her hair the next night and she told me that she and Steve kissed and that she loved it and," she said turning to her accusingly, "that she lied to him about being too drunk to remember it."
The room hooted and hollered. Steve's jaw had dropped. "You remember that kiss?" he whispered softly.
She turned to him apologetically, "I am so sorry, Steve. It was a long time ago and I thought–" Laura was interrupted by Steve's loud cackle and a series of snorts. She stared at him in shock. "Why is that funny?"
He continued to chuckle, "Because you tried so hard to not fall in love with me and you just couldn't do it," he laughed.
Laura suppressed a laugh, too. He had a good point. She did everything she could to avoid this and yet, here she was. Mrs. Steve Urkel. And she thought she didn't believe in destiny! She leaned against him and she turned back to Max, who seemed to have made a similar conclusion.
"I watched this girl run from this relationship kicking and screaming, sometimes literally, and then one day she says to me, 'I like Steve Urkel.' My God, they wonder why I was Team Stefan for so long. This came out of nowhere!" Max turned to look directly at Steve who had gone quiet at the thought of his competition. "I remember the day I met Steve Urkel, and it was something, but I also remember the day I changed my mind about him. It was just a few days after Laura had accepted his proposal. At the time, I thought dumping Stefan was the biggest mistake of her life, and I was ticked that because of the Girl Code, I'd never get to take a crack at him."
Laura laughed. At least, they were clear on that.
"So Laura and I were in the kitchen and I was hooking her up with a new weave. Steve walked in and made a few stupid jokes, and I just shook my head when she laughed at each one. Then, something happened. He walked over to her and sat down in a chair facing her. He smiled and he reached out for her left hand, which she gave him. He started to stroke her ring finger and run his thumb over the engagement ring over and over. Then, Laura started talking to me again like nothing weird was happening and he just sat there silently. I swear he sat there for forty-five minutes. I know because he stayed until I was almost done with her hair. Then he stood, still silently, and he kissed her. He said that he had to go and that he'd be back for dinner. They said their 'I love you''s, I gagged a little, and he left. That's when I turned to Laura and was like, 'Girl, what the heck was that?' and she looked at me like she had no idea what I was talking about. I explained that it was super weird for him to just hold her hand for no reason for almost an hour without saying anything and she said, 'Oh, he just didn't want to interrupt.'"
She shook her head at Steve, "This fool wanted to hold her hand so badly, but respected her independence so much, that he just stared at her in complete silence for an hour. He was totally content, too. In that moment, I just looked at Laura in her nonchalance and smacked the back of her head. Literally. I hit her really hard and she glared at me and I was like, 'No, Laura, you need to admit how crazy he is.' She refused to and I was shocked that she had become so used to his worship that she couldn't even tell it apart from normal human behavior. I mean, who does that?"
Laura was a little surprised. She didn't remember that at all. She remembered him spending a lot of time just touching her ring when they first got engaged, but it was all kind of blending together. She really had become too used to his adoration.
"That was the day that I realized that no one should turn down that kind of treatment. If a man ever starts to love me the way Steve worships Laura, I don't care who he is, I will marry him on the spot. I don't know what she did to deserve him, but I think everyone here who is surprised that they're at this wedding of all weddings should admit that it's surprising no matter which way you look at it. I mean, why did he put up with her?"
She raised her champagne glass and turned to Laura, "So, I think we should all raise our glasses to Steve Urkel because there is no one in the world I would rather Laura be married to. To Steve Urkel!"
Steve blushed as everyone, including his new wife, raised their glasses to him, "To Steve Urkel!" He shyly let her tap her glass against his and took a small sip.
"To Steve and Laura!" Max said as she raised her glass again.
The crowd responded again and Steve and Laura tapped their glasses again before taking another sip. Glasses started dinging all around the room and Steve and Laura kissed softly. "I love you," she whispered to him.
"I love you, too," he responded.
Max moved to sit back down, but Laura stood and hugged her close. "Thank you for understanding, Max."
Max hugged her back and said, "Don't forget how lucky you are, dummy."
Laura laughed and sat back down, but Steve pulled Max into his arms before she could sit. "Thank you so much, Maxine. I love you."
Max didn't really hug him back, but she grumbled softly so he almost couldn't hear it, "I love you, too." Then she said a little louder, "You deserve her. Don't forget that."
He sniffled and blew his nose in his hanky again, right over Max's shoulder. She pushed him off and he sat back down. Gross.
Then it was Eddie's turn. "Hey, y'all. My name's Eddie Winslow and I am Steve's best friend, but I am also Laura's brother, so I'm kind of up here on two counts. Really, three, because I'm also the person who sent them out on their first date." Everyone, except Steve and Laura, was confused, so he continued. "You see, it was a long time ago and I was failing math, not that that should surprise anyone. I went to Steve to ask for help. Back then, we weren't quite as close, so he refused to do it out of the goodness of his heart, so I promised him anything he wanted, and boy, he set his sights high. I got a B on my midterm and he demanded I set him up on a date with Laura. Because she is the greatest sister in the world, she eventually agreed to go on a 'non-date' with him, so long as he didn't touch her and he signed a contract that essentially said he couldn't act like Steve Urkel, which I believe he broke every clause of."
Laura looked at Steve, who was blushing again. She didn't know what she expected these speeches to be about, but they sure weren't going easy on them. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. He met her gaze and smiled at her.
"The thing is, I don't think she really did it for me. She did it out of pity for Steve. He even got a kiss on the cheek out of the deal. Laura gives herself a really hard time about the way she used to treat Steve, and some of that is well-deserved. She was horrible to him nine times out of ten, but then every once in a while, she would do something that showed everyone how much she cared about him. She may have done it out of pity, she may have done it secretly to save herself the embarrassment, but she was there for him when it counted most, and I hope that she starts to believe that at some point."
Eddie looked at the happy couple, who were trying to hold back their tears, "So tonight, as surprised as I am to be here making this speech, I also feel like we should have seen this coming. They may have started out with non-dates and frog legs and contracts, but now, I have never seen two people more deeply in love. I've learned a lot from them. From Steve, I've learned that if you're persistent enough, you can do anything and from Laura, I've learned that people grow and change, but the kindness in their hearts never goes away. I just hope that Laura and Steve realize how special they are and how much they have to offer the world and each other. To the happy couple!"
They clinked their glasses again and Laura and Steve shared a long kiss. When she pulled away, Laura whispered, "Thank you for being so persistent."
He smiled sweetly, "Thank you for pitying me."
She giggled and she kissed him again, "It's not pity anymore."
"I know, my sweet."
Laura stood and hugged Eddie. "Thank you so much for that non-date, Eddie."
He held her close and replied, "Hey, no problem, Sis."
Then Steve hugged him and said, "I owe you big time, Eddo."
Eddie gave him a manly pat on the back and said, "No, you don't, man. Just take care of her for me, ok?"
Steve nodded and took the microphone from Eddie. "Everybody," he began as he stood next to Laura again, taking her hand, "my new wife and I would just like to thank you all for being here to celebrate with us tonight. Dinner is about to be served, followed by cake and dancing. Please, have a great time and let me know if you need anything."
He offered the microphone to Laura, but she refused it. They sat down and waited for dinner.
Dinner went as expected. Steve chewed in the most obnoxious way possible. Laura was the only one not bothered by it. She wiped his face when they were done, and kissed him, even though he tasted like badger. That's when they stood to cut the cake.
Steve led Laura to their cake and stood behind her. She took the knife and he placed a hand on her stomach and a hand on hers. He guided her hand and together, they cut a small slice. Laura took a piece in her hand and Steve took one in his.
She stared at him seriously, "Don't you dare do anything stupid, Urkel."
"Relax, Sweetums," he said as he approached her just a little too quickly. "I'm not gonna miss your – Oopsie!" His bite of cake collided directly with her cheek as she flinched.
She nodded and said, "Fine," as she shoved her piece right onto his nose.
He blinked as cake fell from both their faces, "Did I do that?"
She laughed and kissed him, smearing cake on both their faces. The whole room laughed and clapped as they wiped frosting off of each other's faces. The staff wheeled the cake into the back to be cut as the bride and groom were cleaned up and ushered onto the floor for their first dance.
Laura and Steve argued over their song for months. Originally, Steve wanted "Strangers in the Night" because he played that song when he proposed, but Laura refused because they were never really strangers and she didn't think it reflected them at all. Taking that hint, Steve suggested "Saving All My Love for You" because he sang that to her once and he always felt that way about her. She turned that one down, as well, because she once sang it to Stefan. They went back and forth through wedding classics and modern hits, but they could never find one they both liked enough. Finally, Laura knew she found the one, but she didn't want him to turn her down, so she went to him and told him that she had found the perfect song, but he couldn't know what it was. He was confused, but she insisted that it be a surprise and that he trust her. She was so persistent that he eventually agreed, so as they stopped in the center of the dance floor, waiting for the music to start, he had no idea what to expect.
Then Percy Sledge's "When a Man Loves a Woman" echoed through the hall. Laura smiled at him as he placed a hand on her hip and one in her hand. He pulled her close and whispered, "You were right, my queen. This is perfect." Both of them flashbacked to their first slow dance to this song at homecoming. Laura took her hand from his and wrapped both her arms around his neck as they swayed. Steve started to sing softly in her ear, "If she is bad, he can't see it. She can do no wrong."
Laura flinched a little as his off-key caterwauling began so close to her sensitive ears, but she didn't even consider stopping him.
"Well, this man loves you, woman. I gave you everything I had, tryin' to hold on to your heartless love. Baby, please don't treat me bad." Steve was getting misty-eyed as he held her close and begged for her love. This song always got to him.
"When a man loves a woman, down deep in his soul, she can bring him such misery. If she is playin' him for a fool, he's the last one to know. Lovin' eyes can never see."
She hummed in his ear and he trembled at the sound of her sweet, much more in-tune, voice.
"When a man loves a woman, he can do her no wrong. He can never want some other girl."
She stopped following his lead and pulled away. He looked back at her with concern in his eyes until her lips pressed against his. He kissed her back as the last lines of the song played.
Yes, when a man loves a woman, I know exactly how he feels, 'cause, Baby, Baby, you're my world. When a man loves a woman...
Applause erupted as the song faded out and they stood for a long moment in a silent embrace. Eventually, Carl stepped up to them and tapped Steve on the shoulder, "May I cut in?"
Steve and Laura pulled apart and Steve smiled at his new father-in-law, "Of course, Big Guy!" Steve kissed Laura on the cheek and walked off of the floor to stand by the rest of the family as they watched the father-daughter dance.
Carl knew that if they chose anything too slow, he'd cry, so he requested something with a little pep. Sinatra's "I Wish You Love" came on and he smiled. His not-so-little girl had good taste. They swayed slowly through the intro, but when the beat picked up, they really started to move. He did everything he could to not cry, which included spinning her and dipping her. He would have lifted her, but he didn't want to throw out his back.
Laura smiled brightly the whole time. She knew this would be hard for him, but he seemed to be handling it ok. He was very protective of her and she knew that letting her go felt like an impossible task, but as the song came to an end, she hugged him close and whispered, "We're not going anywhere, Daddy. You'll see us all the time."
"I love you, Sweetheart," he said as he tried to swallow back the tears she was forcing out.
"I love you, too."
"Are you sure he's good enough for you?"
She pulled away to meet his eyes, her face looking sadder, "Are you asking me that because it's Steve or would you ask that no matter who he was?"
He looked back at her apologetically, "Oh, no, Laura. I promise, I don't think anyone in the world is good enough for you."
She relaxed a little and smiled softly, holding back her own tears. "Oh, Daddy," she said as she hugged him again.
"There's no man I trust more with you than Steve Urkel."
"Thank you," she cried softly.
They broke apart and stepped from the dance floor, which is when the DJ announced that the Mother-Son dance was next.
"Oh, no," Steve said as Laura stood next to him again, "I thought we told him to skip that."
"Yeah, we did. I called him back and asked him to add it in."
"What? Laura, my parents aren't here."
"I know that," she said, "but you're a Winslow, now."
Steve looked at her smiling face and was very confused. Harriett grabbed his hand and led him onto the dance floor. He shyly put a hand on her hip and she took his other hand. An instrumental song came on that Steve didn't recognize.
"What song is this?" he asked.
"I don't know. It's just an instrumental track. We couldn't think of anything that worked for annoying neighbor turned adopted-son turned son-in-law," Harriett joked.
Steve laughed and snorted, "Yeah, you're gonna have a heck of a time finding me a Hallmark card!" Harriett laughed and Steve beamed with pride. He hadn't always had an easy time getting people to laugh with him, instead of at him. Harriett was no exception.
She looked off in the distance for a while as they danced, but then she said softly, "Steve?"
"Yes?" he said, meeting her eyes again.
"I don't wanna get too mushy because this has already been a very emotional day, but you…" She swallowed hard, trying to hold back happy tears. "You know we'll always be there for you, right?"
He smiled, "I do, but it's still nice to hear."
"You have a family, now, Steve. I know your parents weren't the most devoted, and maybe it's too little, too late…"
"Oh, no, Harriett. Not at all. It's plenty. Thank you," he assured her. "I am so grateful for everything you and Carl have done for me. You put up with me for years, you took me in, and now, you've given my marriage to your daughter your blessing. I wouldn't be half the man I am today without your family."
"Oh, Steve…"
"Honestly, I may not have survived… the bad years… without the Winslows."
She reached up and wiped a tear from his cheek, "You've done a lot for us, too, you know. You saved Carl's life multiple times, you've always been there for us, and now you're going to spend your life with Laura. There's no one I'd rather my daughter marry."
"Really?" he said, deeply touched.
"Really," she confirmed, "Laura gave me quite a scare with some of the guys she used to bring home, but you? You, I trust."
"Thank you, Harriett," he said, hugging her close as the song ended.
"You can call me 'Mom' if you want."
He sniffled loudly, not letting go, "Thank you, Mom."
Harriett held him until he finally let go, thinking he probably needed a long hug since his own parents didn't even show up to his wedding. Looking at Steve's face, you'd never know it. Harriett was glad to see that he continued to look completely at ease with their family.
As the fast songs started, he led Laura out onto the dance floor and she gawked at his ridiculous moves, but didn't stop him this time. She was glad he felt comfortable being himself, but dang, it was hard to dance with him.
A few songs later, Laura pulled Steve away for a breather. She led him out to the balcony before anyone noticed they were gone and pulled him right back to the place they kissed during prom. Without saying a word, she drew him into another long, deep kiss and he happily pulled her closer, feeling much braver than he did on prom night. Eventually, he pulled away from her lips, but left his face pressed up to hers.
"Thank you so much, Laura Lee Urkel," he whispered.
"For what?" she whispered back.
"Everything," he answered.
She smiled and blushed, "I should be the one thanking you. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."
"I think you're an important part of that equation, too, my love."
"You know what I mean," she laughed as she took his hands in hers. "Thank you, Steve. I've never been happier."
"Neither have I, Laura Lee," he said kissing her again. This time, their lips played more forcefully and their tongues went deeper. Steve held on hard to her hips, pressing her firmly up against his body. She ran her hands over his chest. When he eventually broke their kiss again, pulling far enough away to put some significant space between them, they were both breathing heavily.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"For what?" Laura asked with concern.
"I should show a little restraint. Almost everyone we know is in there."
"You don't need to restrain yourself with me, Steve," she said softly stepping closer to him. "Not anymore."
He let her press against him again and his heart pounded as he inhaled her sweet scent. "Oh, Pet, you don't know how badly I wish I could…" He swallowed his words in fear of offending her.
"Say it, Steve," she said in a low purr.
He hesitated for a moment, but then pulled away and turned to head back in, "We should go back inside before we miss our whole wedding."
Laura stood by the edge of the balcony and looked back at him. She was a little hurt that he could so easily tear himself away from her and even more hurt that he wanted to. "But, Steve…"
"I just don't think it's a good idea if we're alone right now," he explained, embarrassed and frustrated by his own resistance. The way her eyes looked at him like she was a kitten he had just dropkicked wasn't helping his resolve.
"Are we going to have sex tonight?" she asked.
He turned to her abruptly, "What?"
"Are we going to do it tonight? Or are we going to wait the Urkel three months? Or…?"
He stepped back over to her, "Of course, we're going to… make love." He felt a little guilty at his assertiveness, but then he saw her breathe a sigh of relief.
"Oh, thank God! I thought you'd changed your mind."
"Why would you think that?" he asked, confused.
"Because you never let me talk about it, Steve. Even today, you've been avoiding the very thought like the plague."
"That's not true!" he said defensively.
"Yeah, it is, Steve," she argued frustrated. "I love you, but you have been sending some very unclear signals lately."
"C'mon, Sweetums, you know how I feel about you."
"I do, but I'm nervous, too, Steve. I'm embarrassed, too. I'm going to do everything I can to help you tonight, but I'm gonna need your support, too."
"What do you have to be nervous about?" he demanded.
"Plenty," she insisted without naming specifics.
"Like?" he asked.
"I'm not going to list all my flaws for you, Steve. That's only going to make me feel worse about them."
"Flaws?" he shouted. "What flaws?! Have you looked at yourself today, or any day for that matter? You are the most stunning woman in the world."
She looked away, embarrassed by his flattery. "You haven't said anything like that to me all day, you know?" she said softly.
"What? That can't be true…" He ran through the day in his head and he realized he hadn't complimented her dress, her hair, her body, her face. He was the king of compliments, but a couple of hours as her husband and he was already slacking. "Oh, Laura Lee, I am so sorry," he said as he took her hands. "I don't know how that's possible."
"Well, we were busy, Steve, and we showered each other in love all day, but it was hard not to notice where we were lacking. You've been so busy running away from me that you never said anything about how I look," she said, coming off a little more hurt than she meant to.
"You are gorgeous, Laura. You know that. I will tell you whenever you need me to, and way more than that, but you know what a looker you are," he smiled, never breaking eye contact. "Your dress is more beautiful than I've ever imagined and you look perfect in it. I could not be more grateful for you than I am right now, my queen."
She leaned in and kissed him, "Thank you, Steve. You look so sexy in that tux." She rolled her tongue softly as she stepped closer to him.
He blushed and stepped back slightly, "I-I do?"
"Yes, Steve. You don't know how badly I wish I could–"
He pressed a finger to her lips, silencing her. "Don't say it, Laura, please. I just want to save it all for tonight. Can we do that?" He removed his finger and cupped her cheek with his palm. "I know I've been a little jumpy about this stuff today, but that's just because… I've been dreaming about my wedding night for a long time, and I don't want to spoil any of it with too detailed a preview," he admitted softly.
She was moved by his reasoning, and she smiled at him, "Of course, Steve." She placed her hands on both his cheeks, "We don't have much longer. I'm just glad to know you're excited."
He cringed a little at her double entendre.
"Sorry," she said. "I'm just glad to know you're looking forward to it," she tried again.
"I definitely am," he whispered.
"Are you nervous?"
He nodded, inhaling deeply.
"Don't be, Steve."
"What if you don't like it?" he asked softly.
She smiled, "I'm going to like it, Steve, and if I don't like something, I'll tell you."
"Promise?"
"Only if you do, too."
"I promise," he said, crossing his heart.
"Good, me too." She tried to kiss him, but he pulled away. "What's wrong, Steve?"
"Nothing, my sweet, I just… I'm just ready to go back in, Ok?"
Laura sighed quietly, a little disappointed, but she pushed the feeling away. She took his hand and they walked back in.
"There you are!" Max yelled as they stepped through the door. She ripped Laura away from Steve and dragged her to the dance floor. She thrust a bouquet in her hands and Laura realized what everyone was waiting for. She turned away so that all of the unmarried women in the room were behind her and she tossed the bouquet. Eddie's girlfriend, Greta, caught it, completely surprised, and waved it nervously. They cleared the dance floor so she could share a special dance with Eddie.
Laura went back to Steve and he put an arm around her. She leaned into him as they watched the dance.
"Girl!" Max yelled as she ran up to them. "I thought we talked about this! You were supposed to toss that thing to me."
Laura laughed, "I'm sorry, Max! Greta was right next to you, so I came pretty close. You should have been more aggressive."
Eddie held Greta close as they danced. "So, you know, I'm not gonna rush just because you caught that damn thing," he laughed. He looked at her when he didn't get the snappy response he expected and he said softly, "Hey, what's wrong?"
She didn't say anything. She had wanted to get through the wedding before she had to express any of these feelings, but as she danced with him, she felt like a liar. She had to tell him the truth. "I don't want to marry you, Eddie," she whispered, almost inaudibly.
For a moment, he stopped completely in his tracks, but he realized that that would draw attention to the scariest moment of his life, so he continued, much more slowly and completely off-rhythm. "What?"
"When we started dating," she began, "you were in college and you didn't know where you were going. You've finally found your purpose and I am so proud of you, but…"
"You don't want to be married to a cop?"
She was crying now and she gently shook her head.
"I understand," he said. "I hate it. I think it's dumb and selfish, but I understand."
"I'm so sorry, Eddie."
"Greta, I'm doing important work. Lots of people are married to police officers. We can make it work."
She shook her head again, sobbing more forcefully now.
He pressed back his own tears, as the song came to an end. He squeezed her hand and put on a huge fake smile. "Let's go outside and talk," he said as he walked out with her, holding her close to his chest. He didn't want happy wedding guests to see her face, so he put a mask over his own, held her tightly, and led her out to the front of the hotel.
The music resumed and so did the party. Close to an hour later, Eddie returned, without Greta.
Only Max noticed. "Where's Greta?"
He looked at her, wanting to have at least one other person share the burden. "She broke up with me. I put her in a cab. Don't tell anyone. I'm gonna say she's sick if anyone asks. I don't want to ruin the wedding."
Max nodded sagely, "You know, come to think of it, she looked pale and feverish all day."
"Thanks, Max," he said, squeezing her shoulder and walking away.
As the dancing died down, some of the guests started to say their goodbyes. Laura and Steve were surprised as the first couple approached them.
"Congratulations, you two," called Steve's Uncle Cecil as he and his wife walked over.
"Thanks, Uncle Cecil. Oh, are you leaving already?"
"Yup, we have a long drive ahead of us."
"We understand, and thank you for the portrait, it's beautiful," Steve said hugging him and his aunt, who only recoiled slightly.
Laura smiled as Steve gave their thanks. It was weird to her, and likely to most, that all of the paint had been up this man's nose, but it really was a beautiful portrait. Who knew impressionism could be so perfectly captured through sneezing?
"You're welcome," Uncle Cecil replied. He turned to Laura. "It was a true pleasure to paint you, Laura. You are very beautiful."
Laura blushed a little and Steve pulled her closer, proud his family was finally meeting the love of his life.
"Thank you, Cecil," she said, hugging both the guests.
"Steve is a very lucky man," his aunt said.
"Luck is an understatement," Uncle Cecil joked. "Blink twice if you're being held here against your will."
Laura awkwardly tried not to blink as she was interrogated.
Eventually, Uncle Cecil pulled away, "Well, we really must be going. Congratulations, again."
"Thank you," Laura called as they left.
"Thank you for coming," Steve said.
Laura turned to Steve, and reached out to stroke his arm, "You ok?"
Steve looked at her, puzzled. "Ok? I'm on top of the world, Gorgeous! What do you mean?"
"Well, I just mean…" Laura began awkwardly. "That crack he made about you kidnapping me… Didn't that hurt your feelings?"
Steve laughed his big, high-pitched laugh and snorted, "I've heard way worse, Sweetheart. Heck, I've heard worse from you. My skin's a little thicker than that."
Laura relaxed a little, glad his feelings weren't hurt, but sad that his skin had to be so thick. She pulled him in for a kiss. "I love you," she whispered as she pulled away.
"I love you, too, Laura Lee," he breathed back with a big grin.
They danced and mingled for a while longer. They said goodbye to a few more guests who were ducking out early. Eventually, however, the DJ shut down and their ballroom was closing.
They said goodbye to all of their remaining guests and found themselves in the hotel lobby with just their closest friends and family.
They hugged everyone and thanked them for their help.
They stood together for a long time, until eventually, Estelle got sick of all the delays. "All right," she said standing from the couch. "That's enough of these goodbyes. Don't you two have somewhere to be?"
Steve swallowed hard, blushed, and looked down at his feet.
Laura looked at her nervous, uncomfortable husband compassionately and squeezed his hand. "Grandma, there's no rush."
"Oh, yes there is," she countered. "I'm not gonna live forever and I want details before I die, so let's get a move on." She turned to the family. "Since they're clearly stalling, let's head on out."
Laura and Steve gaped in surprise as everyone gave them a last hug or kiss goodbye and walked out. In under two minutes, Estelle had them alone in the lobby. Laura decided she had to learn her secret mind control abilities. It might help her with her new stubborn husband in the bedroom. She turned to Steve, still holding his hand, and said, "So, are you ready to head upstairs?"
Steve nodded without saying anything.
Laura wanted him to relax, but she knew the lobby wasn't the best place to talk to him about sex, so she led her mime over to the elevator and pushed the button. The doors opened immediately and they slipped inside. She pressed the button for the top floor and when the doors closed, she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss.
He quickly tore himself away from her and threw himself back against the other wall to get some distance between them. He was now visibly shaking.
"Steve?" Laura asked, finding herself left kissless. "What's wrong?"
He shook his head, "Not here, Laura."
"Steve," she said confused, "I was just gonna kiss you."
"Not here," he repeated, his heart pounding out of his chest.
Laura glared at him, hurt by his escape, until the elevator dinged on their floor. She stepped out without him and started to walk toward their room.
He followed, but only at a great distance. He stopped when she stopped outside of their room.
She turned to him coldly, "Do you have the key?"
He nodded and pulled it from his wallet. He slid the card into the door and pushed it open as it clicked. He tried to put the key back in his wallet, but he ended throwing them both on the ground as he rushed to grab Laura's arm. "No," he said, stopping her entrance.
Laura looked back at him, annoyed that his nerves were going to somehow prevent her from even entering their suite. She stared at him, expecting an explanation.
He was a little hurt by the look on her face, but realized he must have done something wrong to change it so drastically. He released her arm and pointed at the door, "You can't walk in, Sweetheart. I want to carry you over the threshold." He bent to pick up his wallet and the key. He slipped the key in his wallet and his wallet back in his pocket. He turned his attention to Laura again.
Her face softened. She silently berated herself for being so hard on him. When he looked back at her, she was smiling. "I'm sorry, Steve. I totally forgot. Of course, you can carry me," she said warmly.
He relaxed, seeing her smile again. He bent and lifted her up. He stared at her for a moment, marveling at how incredible she felt in his arms. Not too long ago, he struggled to carry her drunken body home, to the couch, and later, up to her bed. Now, just as he held her when he came home from Houston, he could cradle her easily.
He looked at her smiling face and she leaned closer to his ear to whisper, "I love being in your big, strong arms."
He blushed and looked away. He took a few steps and paused just before the threshold. This was a momentous occasion for him. He wanted to memorize every detail, her scent, her weight, her grip around his neck, the sound of her gentle breaths. He inhaled deeply and stepped over the threshold. His brow furrowed as he looked around the room. He closed the door with his foot and turned his attention back to her. "Sweetums," he began, "Um… There's no bed."
She laughed and leaned in to rest her head on his shoulder. She pointed toward a closed door.
He followed her pointer finger and opened the door. His heart seemed to momentarily stop as he looked at the king-sized bed that was waiting for them. It was covered in rose petals, as was the path that led to it. There were several bottles of champagne and a few full bouquets. There were electric tea lights spread all across the room, giving it a heavenly glow. He followed the path of petals and set her down on the bed gently. "Did you do this?" he asked softly.
Laura shook her head. She stood from the bed and walked over to a bouquet. There was a card pinned to it. She opened it and read, "Congratulations from the entire hotel staff. We wish you a long and happy life together."
"Wow!" Steve said, sitting at the edge of the bed. "This is quite a suite."
Laura turned back to him smiling, "It's our wedding night. Can you believe that?"
The peace Steve found in the soft light, surrounded by a rosy scent, was knocked out of him by Laura's comment. He definitely could not believe it. His heart started to pound again and his breathing grew heavy. He tried to focus on his shoes.
Laura sighed, seeing the change in his demeanor. She walked back over to him and sat beside him. She placed one arm on his back and he jumped. She started to stroke it gently while he tried to catch his breath.
He turned to her, his breath heavy, his eyes terrified, and he whispered, "Oh, God, Laura. I don't think I can do it."
Her face dropped and her heart started to pound, too. The thought of not being able to have him on their wedding night was too much to bear. She swallowed hard, "Yes, you can, Baby. You want to, don't you?"
He fought back his tears, "I do. I want to so badly, Laura, but I'm scared."
"You just need to relax, Steve," she pressed.
"I don't know how," he whispered looking away.
She touched his shoulder and pulled him down so his back was flat on the bed. She lay down beside him, with inches between them. She took his hand, stroking it with her thumb as she began to sing softly. "A few stolen moments is all that we share. You've got your family, and they need you there. Though, I try to resist being last on your list, but no other man's gonna do, so I'm savin' all my love for you…"
When he heard her soft, angelic voice, his breathing calmed a little. His heart was still pounding, but he no longer felt like it could explode and kill him at any moment.
She released his hand and turned on her side so she could see him. She propped herself up on her elbow and she placed her other hand gently on his chest. "It's not very easy, livin' all alone. My friends try and tell me. Find a man of my own, but each time I try, I just break down and cry 'cause I'd rather be home feelin' blue, so I'm savin' all my love for you…"
He turned his head to look at her. He hated to interrupt her, but he needed to know something. "I thought you said this song made you think of Stefan."
She caressed him gently and his hands met hers folding across his chest. "It did," she said softly, looking deeply into his eyes, "but that was before you went to Houston."
He thought back and realized that she had turned that song down before they postponed the wedding so he could go to space.
"When you left, Steve," she continued, "I listened to that song all the time and thought about you. Max tried to get me to go out every weekend, but I hated it every time, so eventually, I just stayed home and called you." She hesitated for a moment, deciding whether or not she should say this. "There was a part of me that was really afraid that I was going to cheat on you while you were gone, just because I did it to Stefan, but when you were actually gone, I… It was unthinkable. That's when I realized that this song never really fit my relationship with Stefan, because I never waited for him. Not when we were dealing with him not actually existing, not when he was spending every other week in Europe. You, on the other hand, you waited for me for fifteen years and then I waited for you for a while, and now… I know you're having a hard time with all of this and I… I just want you to know, I'll wait as long as you need me to."
He squeezed her hand and looked back at the ceiling.
She moved closer to him and pressed herself against his side. She continued, softer, "You used to tell me we'd run away together. Love gives you the right to be free. You said be patient, just wait a little longer, but that's just an old fantasy. I've got to get ready, just a few minutes more. Gonna get that old feeling when you walk through that door, 'cause tonight is the night for feelin' all right…"
She hesitated for a moment, not knowing exactly what to say so he wouldn't be nervous. Eventually, she thought back to the first time he sang the song to her. She smiled and leaned closer to his ear as she whispered, "We'll be makin' out the whole night through…"
He laughed lightly, not hard enough to snort but enough to help him relax.
"So, I'm savin' all my love. Yes, I'm savin' all my love. Yes, I'm savin' all my love for youuuuuuu."
She untied his tie and undid the first two buttons on his shirt, hoping he'd be able to breathe better. She continued a little louder, emphasizing her most important point, "No other woman is gonna love you more. 'Cause tonight is the night that I'm feelin' all right. We'll be makin' love the whole… night through."
He swallowed hard and kept his eyes shut tightly, not having the strength to look at her when she sang that.
"So, I'm savin' all my love. Yes, I'm savin' all my lovin'. Yes, I'm savin' all my love for youuuuuuuuuu… For youuuuuu… For youuuuuuuuuu…" As she finished her song, she lifted her head again to look into his eyes. She leaned over his body, only slightly, and she softly pressed her lips against his. They kept their mouths closed and just enjoyed the warmth of each other's lips. She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes that had finally fluttered open, "Are you ok?" she whispered.
He nodded, but didn't say anything.
"I have a special outfit I picked out for you," she whispered against his lips. "Do you want me to go put it on?"
He nodded again.
She felt him start to tremble, so she kissed him gently before she got off the bed. She faced away from him and turned her head back to him. "Can you help me untie this, Steve?" she asked, pointing to the complex detailing on her dress.
He sat up and looked at the back of her dress. How could he help her undress? He looked into her eyes and was immediately hit by a wave of guilt for every naughty thought he had ever had about her. "I- I- I-…"
She moved backward so that she was right in front of him on the bed. "Please, Steve. If you don't help, I'm going to have to sleep in it and that wouldn't be very comfortable."
He nodded and she turned forward again. His trembling hands reached toward her corset-laced back.
When she felt his hands on her back, she gave him verbal instructions to help him find all the right ties, buttons, and snaps. When he was finished, several minutes later, she felt her dress loosen completely. She held it up in the front with her hand, and her back remained covered. "There," she said, turning to him, "Now, I'll be right back, ok?"
He nodded again and stood up.
"You can get more comfortable, too, Steve," she suggested.
He nodded and watched her walk into the bathroom. He was grateful that untying her dress didn't make the whole thing collapse to the floor. He didn't think his poor heart could take that. He paced around the room, contemplating her suggestion that he get more comfortable. How comfortable was he supposed to get? What if he took off too much and offended her or scared her? He thought for a long time, so long he was amazed she was still in there, but he eventually sat on the edge of the bed, facing the bathroom door, and slipped off his shoes. There, he thought, perfectly comfortable, casual, cool… He got up to place them by the door and went back to the bed to find the right pose. He turned to prop himself up on a few pillows leaned against the headboard and pulled his feet up onto the bed, crossing his ankles. He focused on his breathing while he continued to wait.
Laura slipped easily out of her dress and hung it back up. She zipped it into its bag and turned her attention to her veil. She unhooked it from her hair, only ripping out half of her hair with it. "Ow," she said softly, hoping Steve didn't hear. She put her veil back in the box and started to rapidly remove bobby pins from her up-do. Forty pins later, her hair was completely down. She took a minute to fluff it up, helping the curls relax. Finally, she found the little Victoria's Secret bag that Max had left on the counter per her instructions. She slipped her nightie out of it. It was white and lacey. She put it on and straightened it out so that it covered everything it was supposed to. The material concealed all the important places, but got thinner and translucent on innocent places like her stomach, her sides, and her back. The white, floral pattern made her look innocent and virginal, but the low cut and short length, barely covering her breasts, her butt, and her womanhood, made her look very sexy. She fixed her hair again and touched up her makeup slightly. She adjusted her thong and straightened her garter. Finally, she pulled out the short, matching robe. She tied it closed, barely, and prepared to walk out to him. She stopped in front of the door, taking one last look at herself from the back in the mirror and taking a deep breath. She quietly turned off the light and opened the door slowly. Steve didn't turn as she appeared. She took advantage of the opportunity and leaned against the doorframe in a sexy pose before saying, "Hi, Steve."
His eyebrows shot up and he very slowly turned to see her. He looked at her dainty feet and trailed his eyes up to her shapely calves. He noticed her chocolaty thighs and gawked at how short her robe and nightie were. He looked at the way they covered her and praised God that they weren't too revealing. He was already getting a little woozy. He glanced up at her breasts, which were no more exposed than they had been in her earlier dress. He looked at her slender neck and then finally, her face. Her eyes looked at him like a lioness looks at her prey. She smirked slightly. She knew how good she looked. She looked incredible. If only he could find his voice to tell her he thought so, too. He swallowed hard and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, so he closed it again. He swung his legs off the edge of the bed, so he could sit up straight as he ogled her.
"Is that what you call 'comfortable'?" she asked as she slowly started to sway her hips over to him. "You didn't take a thing off," she pouted.
He pointed at his shoes placed neatly by the door.
She giggled, "I stand corrected." She made it all the way over to where he was sitting and stood in front of him. She reached out for his lapels and pulled him off the bed. She stood as close as she could to him and her voice got low and dripped with lust "Let's take this off," she said as she slipped his jacket from his shoulders and threw it across the room. "And this." She reached behind him to undo his cummerbund and she tossed that aside, too. She undid two more buttons on his shirt and she paused. "Is that more comfortable?" she asked sweetly.
He nodded.
"Do you want me to take off more?"
He shook his head. He didn't feel ready to show her any more, yet.
She nodded, "Ok, do you want to see more of me?"
He stared, neither nodding nor shaking. He wasn't sure. A part of him wanted to, but he spent years of his life repressing that part. Was that part too much for her now? Or just what she wanted? He began to overanalyze and drive himself into another panic attack.
Sensing his rising anxiety, she decided to just take the plunge. She untied her robe and dropped it to the ground. She placed her hands on her hips as he gawked at her body in her nightie.
Steve couldn't believe his eyes. His mouth fell open and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head. So much for "not too revealing". His mouth began to water as he looked at the parts of her that were newly exposed. He saw much more of her cleavage. It looked like she might pop out of there at any moment. He noticed that in several places, he could see right through. He saw her navel, some of her rib cage. Her dark skin peeking out at him through the bright, white lace made his knees weak again. He sat down on the edge of the bed to avoid collapsing.
She sat next to him and smiled, "Well?"
He didn't respond.
She took a deep breath, "Steve, I know this isn't easy for you, but I need a little encouragement, too, remember? This is the most of my body I've ever shown to a guy, excluding the little peepshow you got in the bathroom."
"It wasn't a peepshow, Laura! It was an accident, I swear!"
"He speaks!" she exclaimed laughing.
He blushed and hushed up again.
"I know it was, Steve," she said, placing a hand on his knee, "but I need you to say something. Do I look ok?"
He turned to look at her again, focusing on her eyes, which had dropped their lioness look. His lack of response had really shaken her. She looked much more doe-eyed as she waited for his encouragement. "You look incredible, my love."
She smiled, "I do?"
"Yes."
"Do I look sexy?" she asked shyly.
"Incredible, my pet," he assured her.
"That's not really the same thing," she said, looking away.
"Oh, well, I…" Steve wanted to scream. Of course, she looked sexy. She looked like a goddess. He just didn't know how to say things like that to her or at least, not anymore. When they were younger, and she didn't give him the time of day, he would compliment her body. When she wouldn't let him touch her, he felt comfortable using words like bodacious and wiggling his eyebrows like a madman. Now that she finally wanted him to say all those things and to touch her… everywhere, he had lost all of his confidence. He looked at the disappointed expression on her face and he felt like kicking his own butt. This was the love of his life and he was hurting her. Sure, he was shy and scared and emotionally warped in some way, but this was his bride, his wife. If he couldn't get over all that to help her feel as good about herself as she should, what good was he? He cleared his throat. "Ahem. Laura," he said confidently, taking her hand, "you are so sexy. That bodacious bod is driving me crazy. I'm sorry I keep clamming up, but don't doubt for a second that I want you, because I do. I want you so badly I can barely stand it. I've always wanted you. You're the woman who awakened my sexuality. You are my one and only fantasy. You are the reason I tossed and turned in my bed. You are the reason I saved myself. You are my everything." As he finished his rant, he pulled his hand back and folded his hands together in his lap. He looked at her shyly.
"Oh, Steeeeve…" she purred. She leaned forward to kiss him, but he stood abruptly. Damn it, she thought.
"I-I'm sorry," he stuttered. "I-I-I…"
Laura watched him pace and stammer. She waited for him to come to her. She wasn't sure how many more times she could get rejected like that. She couldn't imagine how he put up with it for so many years. She moved to the other side of the bed and un-tucked the covers. She slipped down into them and propped herself up on her elbow to wait for Steve to make a move.
He looked at her lying in bed and he got scared. Was it over already? Did he miss his chance? "A-are you going to sleep?" he asked softly.
"No," she said firmly, "I'm just waiting for you to figure out what you want."
"I know what I want," he crooned, staring at her barely covered breasts peeking out over the comforter. She patted the bed beside her, but he didn't move. "C-can I get under the covers, too?" he asked. She nodded and pulled back the sheets for him. He moved to take off his shirt, but she was watching him intently. He turned to her and asked, "Can you close your eyes first?"
"I don't get to watch?" she pouted.
"No," he said firmly.
She lay on her back and shut her eyes. Steve needed to hurry because she was exhausted and lying in the warm bed with her eyes shut was starting to make her sleepy. She felt the bed move beside her and his body move closer to her.
"Ok," he whispered, "you can open them now."
She opened her eyes and turned to look at him again. The comforter had been kicked to the bottom of the bed, but the sheet covered his chest. She could see only his shoulders and his bare arms. She reached out and squeezed his bicep. "Mm… You are so strong, Steve."
He shrugged shyly.
"I want you, too, Steve. You know that, right?" she whispered as she stroked his muscular arm.
"Why?" he asked, almost inaudibly.
She looked at him and her brow furrowed in compassion. His question broke her heart. "Because I love you, Steve. I saved myself for you. I was with a lot of guys before I gave you a chance and none of them, not even Stefan, ever made me feel like this. I've never felt so loved, so safe, and so ready…"
"No, why do you want me physically? I don't look like the guys you used to date, Laura. I'm not athletic or stylish or smooth. I'm not your type. Why would you want to…?" he trailed off as he tried to control his breathing again.
"Steve, please, relax," she said, reaching to cup his face. "You have to relax," she whispered as she began to stroke his cheek.
He closed his eyes and focused on her gentle touch.
"Steve, you weren't my type when we were growing up. You were scrawny, short, weak, but you were just a late bloomer. None of that matters to me now, anyway, because I love you with all my heart, but objectively, you are very sexy, Steve. I promise. You are way hotter than those other guys."
"That's not true, Laura," he said, opening his harsh, self-loathing eyes again. "If it were, other women would hit on me and that never happens."
"That's because you hide your body under those dad-clothes," she teased. "No one can tell what a fox you are."
"You don't like my clothes?"
"Oh, no, I love your clothes. You think I want other women hitting on you?" she smiled slyly.
He chuckled and reached out and cupped her face, too. His thumb started to stroke her cheek in the same pattern.
"Steve, if I weren't physically attracted to you, we wouldn't be together. It was that kiss at the bachelor auction that started all this, remember?"
He nodded. "But that was just my lips, not everything else."
"Yeah, but what a pair of lips! They're full and soft, and your tongue is strong and knows just how to move for me. I want your mouth all over me, Steve," she teased. He blushed so deeply she could feel his cheek burning against her hand. "Besides," she continued, "I've seen everything else, remember? If there were something I didn't like about it, we wouldn't be here."
"If we do this," he began, "I want to stay under the covers. I don't want you to see… me."
She widened her eyes. Is this boy for real? "Oh, ok. So, how about the same rule goes for me, then?"
He stammered, "N-no, now wait. I-I-I want to–"
"See? Not a fun thought, is it? I am your wife, Steve. I want to see you naked."
He tried and failed to swallow the lump in his throat.
She moved closer to him and pulled the sheet lower to expose more of his chest. "Please, don't hide from me," she said softly as she began to stroke his pecs. She leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on his lips, then his chin, then several on his neck. She moved so she could reach his favorite necking spot and she sucked on it gently. She moved the sheet even lower, uncovering his abs, and she traced their defined lines. She pushed on his shoulder, so that he lay flat on his back and she moved herself closer. She leaned halfway over him, hoping she wouldn't scare him again. She looked at him and saw that his eyes were closed and he looked comfortable. She wished he would moan or something like he usually did when they necked, but his lips were tightly shut.
He could feel her breasts pressed against his chest and it took all the strength in his body to not rip her nightie off to expose them. He wanted to run his hands all over her body, but he was afraid to rush her, so he just let her kiss him.
After a while, as Laura's lips began to get tired, she pulled up to meet his dreamy gaze. "Did you like that, Steve?" she whispered.
He nodded excitedly.
"Will you do something for me, now?"
"Anything," he breathed.
She rolled over and pulled at him so he would climb on top of her. He didn't. "Could you get on top of me?"
He nodded and got up on all fours. He crawled over to her and placed one hand on her other side, but left both of his legs to her right.
"Between my legs, please."
"Oh, L-L-Laura, I-I d-d-d-don't know…"
She shifted so she could slide her right leg under him, placing his body between her legs. She tightened her grip so that he straightened out over top of her, propped up on his hands. "There," she purred, "Is that so bad?" She stroked his chest again.
He shook his head.
She looked deeply into his eyes and pulled his head down so that their lips touched. She sucked greedily on his bottom lip and moved her tongue in and out of his mouth.
His lips warmed up in a moment and he kissed her back. He tried to keep his body propped up well above her as they kissed, but the muscles straining in his forearms wouldn't allow it for long. He relaxed his bodyweight on top of her and she moaned.
"Mmmmmm…"
He pulled his lips away abruptly and pushed himself off of her again. "What's wrong?" he asked terrified. "Did I hurt you? Was I too heavy?"
"No, Steve. That was a good noise," she answered, placing a hand on the back of his neck to guide him back in. "I liked feeling you on top of me."
"Unhhhh…" Steve whimpered as he thought about what she was saying.
"Did you like being on top of me?" she asked as she pulled him closer.
He nodded.
"Then relax, Steve," she purred before kissing him again.
He did relax. He relaxed his arms and placed some of his weight on top of her and some on his legs that were perched between hers. He wrapped his muscular arms around her back tightly, pressing her chest forcefully against his. He felt her legs respond in kind, wrapping around his waist like a vice. When she did that, he knew he could no longer hide his erection, but she didn't pull away from it, so he didn't dare move it. Her center was hot and warmed up the sensitive skin on his member. They were separated only by her nightie and tiny panties and his thin boxers. He moaned into her mouth, "Mmmmm…"
She broke the kiss and looked up at him, "I love it when you moan. Don't be afraid to make noise or talk to me, Baby. You won't offend me."
He smiled softly and leaned close so his nose touched hers, "I like it when you moan, too."
She raised her eyebrows, "You know what will really make me moan?" she asked.
He shook his head.
"You touching my breasts," she answered, her eyes never leaving his.
He glanced down at them, but immediately forced his eyes upward to her face, afraid to make her feel uncomfortable if he leered too long.
She caught the look of worry in his eyes and understood immediately. She giggled, "It's ok. I want you to look, Steve."
His eyes slowly drifted down to her breasts again and he stared a little longer. He unconsciously licked his lips. Every few seconds he would glance up into Laura's eyes, to make sure everything was still ok.
"Do you want to touch them, Steve?"
He nodded.
"Then, touch me," she purred, her voice lowering with lust again.
He pulled his right hand out from under her and he hovered it over her left breast. He looked back at her and she smiled. His trembling hand lowered onto her breast and he didn't dare move. He just held it gently. His eyes stayed locked on her face, waiting for her objection. She lifted her hand and placed it on his. He immediately recoiled, releasing her breast.
She grabbed his hand and shook her head, "No, don't stop. Why'd you move?"
"I-I thought you were going to push me away," he answered confused and ashamed.
She smiled sweetly, "No, Steve, I just wanted to help you." She moved his hand back to her breast and she held it. She started to massage her breast with his hand, squeezing gently and rubbing all over, showing him what she wanted. She released his hand, but he stopped moving. She pouted at him, signaling with her eyes, but he didn't seem to get it. Just as she was about to guide his hand again, he started to massage her. He pulled his other hand from behind her and did the same to her right breast. His eyes remained locked on hers and she moaned for him. "Mmm… Steve…"
His mouth hung open in desire. He knew what he wanted to do next, but he didn't want to rush, so he waited. He watched her face as her eyes drifted closed in pleasure. She had never looked more breathtaking. "Laura Lee, you are so beautiful."
Her eyes fluttered open, "What part of me, Steve?"
"Every inch," he breathed.
"You're only looking at my eyes."
"They're bewitching, my sweet."
"Do you like my breasts, Steve?" she asked, a little shy.
"I love them," he whispered, leaning close to her face and kissing her gently on her full lips.
"Talk to me about them, please," she begged.
He swallowed hard and glanced down for the first time at his hands massaging her plump breasts. He watched as he kneaded her pliable skin over her lacey nightie. He licked his lips again when he thought about her dark, chocolaty nipples. He wanted to see them so badly. He bravely reached up to her straps. She pouted when he broke contact with her breasts, but she gasped when he yanked her straps down to expose her full, perky orbs. He gawked at them. He thought he remembered every detail, but they were even more spectacular than he recalled. He still didn't replace his hands. He still didn't say anything. He just stared at them as they rose and fell with her heavy breaths.
She watched his eyes devour her bosom, but she needed verbal confirmation, "Steve, Honey?"
His eyes shot back to hers and his face immediately flushed, "Oh, Laura, I'm sorry. I should have asked." He started to pull away from her, though she held on to him tightly. "I'm such a pig. You don't deserve to be manhandled like that. I'm so sorry."
He tried to cover her breasts, but she swatted his hands away from the straps of her nightie. "Steve, stop. I want this," she insisted directly.
His eyes softened, "You do?"
"Yes…" she whined. "How much clearer can I be?"
He half smiled. "So," he said timidly, "can I touch them?"
"Not until you talk to me," she insisted.
"I don't know what to say," he replied, his pleading eyes meeting hers again.
"Yes, you do, Steve," she maintained.
He looked down at her breasts and tried to remember everything he'd ever thought about them. He was very polite when they were growing up, but when she started to… develop, he definitely took notice. He remembered the day she stuffed her bra with socks to hurry the process along and he passed out in her living room. Her breasts did eventually fill out, and thankfully, they didn't look anything like the lumpy laundry that filled her bra that day. He thought back to seeing her naked for the first time in the shower and the way he tried and failed to avert his eyes from her breasts and her womanhood. "Do you remember," he began quietly, staring at her breasts, unable to meet her eyes as he talked about such a naughty memory, "when Eddie offered me a chicken breast after we first saw each other?" She giggled and her breasts bounced slightly causing his heart to patter harder.
"Of course, I do," she said, smiling softly as she watched him ogle her. "God, that was so embarrassing."
"It was," Steve agreed, "but if he hadn't figured it out, you and I may never have looked each other in the eye again."
"I'm just glad he didn't tell that story tonight."
"Me too," Steve laughed. He went silent for a while and stared at her breasts.
"What did you think of them that first time, Steve?" she prodded, hoping to help him find the words.
"Well, in the moment, I was too mortified to think much of anything. Then right afterward, I felt guilty every time I pictured you. Um. Do you remember when I told you that I never pictured you that way before?"
"Mmhmm. That's kind of hard to forget, Steve. You went through puberty without imagining your crush naked? That's insane."
He smiled, "I tried undressing you in my mind, but I always freaked out when I took off your shoes."
She chuckled and reached up to stroke his face.
He leaned into her touch and continued. "Do you remember what you said to me?"
"No," she answered.
"You said that it was ok and that everybody has fantasies."
"Oh, yeah. I remember."
"I kind of took that as… permission. Is that what it was?"
"Yeah, kind of. At the time, I didn't want to think about you… thinking about me, but I had always assumed you did, so the fact that you hadn't up until then really surprised me. I didn't see the point in you… denying yourself that way."
"Good, because I stopped. After that, I pictured you a lot. Like, a lot. That's when I really got to think about your… bazooms."
She laughed loudly and reached her hands up to cover her mouth.
Her breasts shook as she laughed, but Steve looked up at her face again to figure out what was so funny. "Why are you laughing?"
She tried to speak, but failed through her laughter. "I'm sorry, Steve," she chuckled eventually. "I just didn't expect you to call them… that."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Pet," he blushed. "What word do you prefer?"
She shook her head, still giggling, "I don't care. You just surprised me."
He paused for a moment, "There isn't a word, Laura, that's good enough for them. I have never seen anything more beautiful."
She smiled, finally receiving a taste of the worship she was hoping for, "Hey, now, was that so hard?"
"Yes," Steve affirmed seriously. "I don't want you to think I'm a pig, Laura. I loved you way before you looked like this."
She sighed, "I know, Steve, but I still need to know that you like my body. I'm glad you love me for other reasons, too, but I want you to like my breasts."
"I do, Laura Lee. I really, really do."
"Then tell me what you fantasize about, Steve," she purred.
He looked around nervously before his eyes landed back on her chest. "When you were first developing feelings for me, sometimes at night, I'd imagine you barging into my room and confessing it all to me. Then we'd kiss and cuddle and you'd…"
"I'd what, Steve?" she whispered.
"You'd take off your shirt and let me touch you."
"How would you touch me?" she pushed.
He swallowed hard, "I'd massage them and I'd pinch your…" He looked up at her eyes for help.
"My nipples? It's ok, Steve. You can say it."
"I'd pinch your… nipples. Then I'd kiss them and suckle on your big, bouncy breasts."
"Mmmmm, I'd like that," she cooed.
He licked his lips as he stared at her lustful eyes. He leaned down, tortuously slowly so his chest was flat against hers. They both moaned when her sensitive skin touched his. Then he moved his lips so they brushed gently against hers, not quite kissing her. "Can I touch them, Laura?"
"Yes, Steve. Please, touch my breasts," she breathed.
He heard her gasp as his hands came in contact with her bare breasts for the first time. "Laura…" he whispered, almost to himself as he watched his hands on her body. He massaged them the way she instructed him to when they were covered, but now he could feel her dark nipples hardening against his palms. He couldn't believe how soft her skin was. He knew these were the compliments she wanted to hear, but he wasn't sure how to get them out.
"Mmm… That feels nice, Steve."
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you, too, Baby," she whispered back. "Your big hands feel so good, Steve. I love the way you hold them."
He understood her words of encouragement were also meant to be an example for his own. "Uh…" he began softly, "Your… breasts are just the right size for my hands, Laura. We're a perfect fit." He chuckled awkwardly.
Her lips parted slightly in surprise, "Really? They're big enough for you?"
He looked back up to her eyes, "What? Of course, they are, Sweetheart. I wouldn't change a thing."
She looked away embarrassed, "Myra's are bigger." Her voice broke slightly with that admission. Steve didn't respond, so she slowly turned her face back to his. His sweaty brow was deeply furrowed and his eyes regarded her cautiously.
"So what?" he said, eventually resolving himself to the fact that he wouldn't be able to figure this out on his own.
"Well, wouldn't you rather…?"
He raised a brow at her.
"I mean I know you want me, not her, but wouldn't you rather I look like that?" she asked.
He scoffed, "No!"
Her brow furrowed, too, and her lips pouted gently, really beginning to reveal her insecurity. "But hers are so… I mean you called mine big and bouncy, but they're not. Not really."
"Laura you have the most beautiful breasts in the world. Don't ever tell yourself anything different," he scolded, staring deeply into her eyes, still fumbling with her breasts, "They're big enough to completely fill my hands, but small enough to still be perky. They're bouncy and jiggly, but not too much. They're firm enough to resist my squeezes a little, but soft enough to make me want to rest my head on them. They're a perfect chocolaty color, like all of your skin, but your tight nipples are dark and just the right size to suck on. Your soft skin looks like satin and I want to rub my hands, my face, and my… my manhood all over your smooth bosom. You're perfect, Laura Lee. I wouldn't change a thing."
Laura was speechless. She didn't know what to say that could show him how much that meant to her. "Oh, God," she moaned. "Suck on them, Steve!"
He descended quickly to devour her breasts. He stuck her right nipple in his mouth and pinched and played with her left nipple with his right hand. "Mmmmm…" he moaned as he sucked on her teat for the first time.
She couldn't believe how incredible his mouth felt on her nipple. "Ooooohhh, Steeeeve!" she moaned loudly. "I love youuuuu…"
He sucked hard as he pulled away for a moment. "I… love… you… too…" he whispered breathily as he planted wet kisses all over her breasts. He moved to the other breast and licked and sucked. He felt her right breast with his left hand and rubbed his spit all over her nipple. He never wanted to stop. He felt like he could worship her chest for the rest of his life. He continued to moan as he tasted her silky, sweaty skin. "Mmmmm…"
She felt her womanhood begin to warm up as he devoted his attention to her nipples. She started to rock her hips gently against his abs as he kissed. She pulled greedily at the back of his head, begging him to suck harder. "Ooooooo…" she moaned. She had never felt anything like his touch.
He took his hands away from her breasts, but continued to suck. He placed both hands on the top of her nightie, now resting just under her heaving breasts. He tried to yank it off in one motion, but failed as the friction with the bedding beneath them slowed his tug and the material stretched tight over her wide hips and round butt. He gave another pull at her waist, sliding it over her booty. He lifted himself off of her so he could pull it off of her long legs. He tossed it on the ground and panted as he looked down at his prize. Her legs were still spread for him. Her breasts raised and fell with her heavy breaths and glistened with his spit. Her soft, flat stomach led down to her defined hip bones and tiny panties. From this angle, he couldn't really admire her butt or see that she was wearing a thong. He noticed her garter perched high on her shapely thigh. He moved a little closer, between her legs again, and stroked the line of her pale blue garter. "It's blue," he observed.
She smiled, "Something old, something new, something borrowed, and…"
"Something blue," he finished. A bright smile replaced his serious, animalistic gaze. He continued to stroke her leg and her garter as he grinned.
"What are you smiling like that for?" she asked.
"You're my wife," he whispered.
"I am," she smiled back.
"You're Mrs. Laura Lee Urkel."
"Mmhmm."
He continued to smile goofily.
"Baby?" Laura cooed.
His eyes slowly drifted back up to hers, taking in the view. "Yes, my pet?"
"You're supposed to take it off, remember?"
He narrowed his eyes at her in confusion, "Wasn't I supposed to do that at the reception?"
She raised an eyebrow, "With the way you were acting? You might have run for the hills if I had asked you to slip your hand up my dress in front of my parents."
He laughed and snorted before moving closer to her garter. "I like it better this way. It's more… intimate." He slipped his fingers under the blue fabric.
"Wait," she interrupted. Her mouth curled into a seductive grin. "Use your teeth," she ordered.
His eyes widened, but he smiled mischievously back, "Yes, Ma'am!" he called before tugging her leg down flat and pinning it down. He planted soft kisses under her garter, never daring to cross the line. He felt her hand caress the back of his head.
She giggled, "Mm… That tickles."
He scraped his teeth as gently as he could across her skin, gripping the thin fabric in his mouth. He slowly tugged his way down her long leg, rubbing his hands down the sides of her leg as he moved. He lifted her foot to pull it over her pedicured toes. He turned his head and opened his mouth, flinging it to the side. Holding her small foot in his hand, he started to rub it gently.
"Oh, God, Steve. That's amazing," she moaned as he kneaded her sore muscles. "I had to wear those heels all day and my feet are killing me."
Encouraged by such a positive reaction, he spent several long minutes just massaging her feet. Her eyes were tightly shut and she was moaning loudly. Her provocative, though, in this case, innocent noises, made him even harder than he already was. He watched as her body squirmed in pleasure and her legs spread involuntarily as her womanhood prepared for him.
Eventually, she pulled her feet away from him and moaned, "Touch me, Steve."
He swallowed hard, faced with the returning nerves that came with the opportunity to touch her most intimate places. "Where?" he croaked through a strained voice.
She wasn't sure what he wanted her to call it, so she took one finger and pointed to her tiny, white panties.
He licked his lips and moved back up so he was directly between her legs. He reached his shaking hand out and cupped her womanhood over the lace. "Oh, gosh…" he whispered softly. "It's hot."
"Mmmm… Yes, Steve. You make me so hot… and wet," she purred.
He growled softly at the mention of her sweet nectar. "Mmmmmm…"
Hearing his low rumble made her hips move to rub herself against his hand. "Ohhh," she cooed.
"What do I do now?" he asked nervously.
"Follow your instincts, Steve. You know what to do."
He started to rub and massage her mound the way he did her breasts. Her soft moans were encouraging, but he knew he could do better. He moved his hand down to find her entrance over her panties. He trailed just one finger up and down the center of her flower and her hips bucked at him forcefully at the very top.
"OH!" she yelled.
He pulled away, afraid that he hurt her, but then she smiled at him and wiggled her hips.
"Oh, my. Steve… Do you know what you just found?"
He shook his head silently.
"Yes, you do. I know you paid attention in Biology. Where are most of the nerves in a woman's genitals?" She tried to ask that as sexily as she could, though she cringed at her use of the word "genitals". She correctly assumed that Steve would be soothed by scientific terminology and a little anatomy quiz, but Laura felt ridiculous saying that instead of just begging him to play with her clit.
He swallowed hard and returned his finger to his new discovery. "The little bundle of nerves at the top of the vulva is called the clitoris," he recited, proud of his knowledge. His pointer finger gently pressed it, but he was too direct.
"Ow! Oh, Steve. Too much."
He pulled away again. "Direct stimulation can be painful if the woman isn't properly aroused."
"Mmhmm…" Laura nodded softly.
"I'm sorry, Pet."
"It's ok, Steve. We're both still learning. I'll probably hurt you a little tonight, too." She thought about her teeth scraping his huge manhood when she tried to get her lips all the way around him. Poor guy.
"What do I do if you're not… aroused enough?"
"You tell me."
He moved his finger close to her covered clitoris again, and stroked around it.
"Oh, yesssssss, Steve. Just like that, Baby."
He smiled to himself, "The nerves fan out as they web away from her most sensitive spot."
She giggled, "Mmmm… Tell me more, Dr. Urkel."
He laughed and snorted. His face became more serious as he looked into her eyes. He had never seen that look before. He felt like a god as he touched her and made her moan in ecstasy. He licked his lips and looked down at her womanhood. He bent close, unexpectedly, and gripped the edge of her panties with his teeth. He slid them down her legs and as he freed her again, she spread her legs wide for him. He stared, her panties gripped tightly in his mouth, at her sacred center. It was more beautiful than he'd ever imagined. He had seen her tiny mound in the shower that fateful day, but this angle was completely different.
Laura looked up at him, nervous as she was completely exposed for the first time in her life. She smiled as she looked at his shocked, silly face as he gawked at her with her thong still hanging from his mouth. "Do you like it, Steve?" she whispered bashfully.
He pulled her panties from his mouth and gripped them tightly in his left hand. "I love it, Laura Lee. You are the most beautiful creature in the world. I can't believe how lucky I am to be the only man to ever see God's greatest creation."
She laughed softly, "You may have gone too far in the other direction, Steve. That's a little cheesy."
"It's the truth, my love. Your lips are pinker than any sunset. You glisten brighter than any ocean. Your scent is more inviting than any wildflower."
Oh, my… Well, hello, Romeo. "Wow, that was… poetic," she breathed. "Um, thank you, Steve."
He looked back up to her eyes. "Thank you for showing yourself to me, Laura."
She looked away shyly. "Do you… um… want to continue your anatomy lesson?"
He nodded and reached out to stroke her mound. "Naturally, hair grows to protect her sensitive areas, but late 20th century fashion trends have led to the frequent removal of this protective shield."
She giggled as he stroked her bare skin.
"The vagina lubricates itself as the woman becomes aroused," he said as his finger began to circle her wet entrance. "This lubrication can aid friction both during vaginal intercourse and during foreplay." He took the very tip of his finger and ran it along her wetness, not quite entering her, but coming very close. He took his newly slickened finger and moved back to her clitoris. "The lubrication helps to protect the sensitive clitoris," he whispered as his finger began to circle it again, now without any barriers.
"Oohhhh, Steeeeve…" she cooed as he touched her.
He looked up at her face, not stopping his gentle, quick finger. "As a woman becomes aroused, she begins to moan low, guttural sounds which encourage the male. Sometimes, in humans, partners moan each other's names to draw on the emotional connections that further stimulate the brains of both parties."
"Steeeve…" she moaned again.
"Similarly, their moans of pleasure often contain references to love, which also release pleasure chemicals in the brain."
Taking the hint, Laura cooed, "Oh, I love you, Steve. I love youuuu… This feels so good."
"When the male senses that the female is aroused, sometimes he tests her lubrication with a finger," Steve said as he quickly slipped his finger inside of her.
"OH!"
"Are you ok?" he asked concerned as he began to draw his finger out.
"Yessss… Don't stop, Honey."
He pushed his finger back in and began to thrust in and out. "Simulating intercourse with a finger, tongue, or foreign object can increase the nerve reactions for the woman."
"Mmm… No foreign objects for now, ok?" Laura asked as her breathing quickened.
"As stimulation increases, breathing becomes more rapid."
"Oh, Steve," she called as her eyes closed. "Unh. Oh, God! Steve! Kiss me!"
He climbed back on top of her, his finger continuing to penetrate her, and kissed her deeply. His tongue moved in and out of her, matching the rhythm of his finger. When he broke away, he looked into her eyes. "I love you, Laura."
"I love you, too, Baby…" she panted.
"You are so sexy," he whispered as he watched her face twist in pleasure.
"Unnnhh…" she moaned.
His hand was moving as quickly as it could now, but it wasn't enough for either of them. "Can I add another finger, my pet?"
"Oh, God! Yes, Steve. Please!"
He slipped his middle finger in with his pointer finger and slowed his thrusts, feeling her resist. "You're so tight."
"Just go slow. How much does the vagina expand when fully aroused, Dr. Urkel?"
"200%," he cooed as tried to spread his fingers slightly inside her tight walls.
"Wait," Laura said suddenly, pressing her hands to his chest.
"What's wrong?" Steve asked as he pulled his fingers out of her, got on his knees, and put his hands in the air to show her he respected her boundaries.
Laura's breathing slowed slightly as her womanhood was left alone, "Relax, Steve… I just had a science question." She reached down to pull him back over her. She kissed his lips softly. Then again. Then again. She waited to feel his heartbeat slow, now knowing he wasn't hurting her nor being booted out of bed. Then she said, "Do you know how the hymen works?"
He scrunched his eyebrows, "Yeah, why?"
"Tell me," she purred sweetly, completely testing him.
He leaned forward so their faces could touch; he looked her deep in her eyes. Though he was nervous about touching her and talking to her, lecturing about science never made him uneasy. He just had to force himself to forget that she was completely naked underneath him. "The hymen is a thin membrane that covers a portion of the vagina," he whispered. "Though many cultures place an extraordinary importance on the hymen, as they believe it is linked to virginity, in reality, it isn't. Some women are born with more or less tissue there coving more or less of the vaginal canal. Because of this tissue, and a lack of experience, some women bleed the first time they have vaginal intercourse, which is where the myth comes from. However, because a properly aroused woman should feel very little discomfort, the tissue comes in so many variations, and many women slightly tear their hymens through other activities before partnered sex, it is impossible to judge a woman's sexual experience from the state of the hymen alone."
She paused for a moment, making sure he was done, before she giggled, "You are such a nerd!"
"What? Why?" he smiled back. He loved the sound of her laugh, even when it was kind of directed at him.
"Who knows that?!"
"Well, you did, right?"
"Not until this morning," she said.
"What? Didn't you pay attention in Biology?"
"Not that closely, apparently."
"I'm confused, Sugar Lips. Why did you want a lecture on the hymen?"
"Aunt Rachel busted that myth for me this morning and I wanted to make sure you knew I might not bleed, so you wouldn't think…"
"Laura," Steve said softly, "I would never think that. I trust you, Pet. I know it doesn't always feel like it and I know I messed up this afternoon. It's just, I get a little crazy when I think about you and other guys."
"Well, I haven't been with anyone else, Steve. I haven't done anything more than neck with other guys."
"I know," he whispered. "Thank you for saving yourself for me, Sweetheart. I can't tell you how grateful I am."
"Thank you, too, Steve. It wouldn't have been a deal breaker for me or anything, but I'm glad Myra wasn't your first."
"Me, too!" Steve laughed. "That girl was anything but gentle."
Laura laughed again and kissed him, sucking on his bottom lip. She stroked the back of his head before finding a little confidence. "Steve, Honey? Will you do something for me?"
"Anything," he whispered.
"Will you… um…" So much for confidence. She blushed deeply.
"I'll do anything, Laura," he whispered in her ear, nibbling it softly. "What do you want, Babycakes?"
"Will you kiss me… down there, please?" she asked, barely above a whisper.
"You'd let me taste you?" he asked, pulling away to look eagerly at her eyes.
She smiled and nodded, "It's kind of a requirement."
"Oh, Baby. You smelled so yummy when I was touching you…"
"Then why didn't you just eat me?"
"I don't know how, my sweet."
"Yes, you do," she assured him again.
He kissed her softly on the lips and then started to kiss his way down her body. He kissed her neck and between her breasts. He kissed and licked her navel. He trailed his tongue all across her hip bone and finally moved down to her womanhood. With his face between her legs he inhaled deeply. "Laura Leeeeeeee…" he cooed softly.
"Talk to me, Honey," she instructed timidly.
"You smell amazing."
She smiled brightly, happy to be with a man who loved everything about her. "Thank you, Steve."
He slipped his two fingers back inside her and he grinned as she gasped in surprise. He pulled them right back out and he heard a soft, disappointed whimper.
"Oh…"
"Patience, my love. Dr. Urkel needs a little time to… experiment."
"That's what I get for marrying a mad scientist," she teased.
He wasn't listening to her joke. He was too enthralled by his glistening fingers. He rubbed his thumb against them, feeling her sticky, slippery juices. He moved his fingers closer to his nose, and growled. "Ehmmmmm…."
She watched his animalistic display and started to nibble her lip and wiggle her hips for him. His left hand, the dry one that still clutched her panties, lurched forward to grab her hip. Her panties flew to the floor. He gripped her tightly, pressing hard into her soft, curvy flesh, to hold her in place. She watched intently as he slipped his fingers deep in his mouth and sucked on them hard. He pulled them out and licked them over and over, as if he were trying to find every drop of her essence. He moaned and sucked loudly the entire time, which was music to her ears.
"MMMMMMMM…" His tongue, lips, and fingers worked together to make wet slurping and popping sounds. When his fingers were completely clean of her nectar, he pulled them out of his mouth and moved quickly to plant his face back in her womanhood. Her hand stopped his descent just before he reached his destination.
"Wait!"
"What's wrong, Pet?"
"Do you like how I taste?"
He smiled his huge, open-mouthed smile. "You are the most delicious thing I have ever tasted, my sweet. Now, move your hand, because I want seconds," he joked.
She smiled shyly down at him, and slowly took away her hand. She closed her eyes and pressed her hands over her face. She couldn't believe where she was, what she was doing, or who she was doing it with. Her stomach grew warm in anticipation and she couldn't stop smiling. She was so in love and so ready. She gasped loudly as his tongue came in contact with her clit. "OH, MY GOD!" she yelled as her hips thrust involuntarily upward.
He knew that was a good sign. He forced her hips back down and gripped both of them tightly. He held her in place as he puckered his lips and kissed her clit, then all over her lips and mound. His kisses were gentle and wet, and he moaned into each one. "Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm."
Her hands reached down to the back of his head and pushed and squeezed, demanding more from him. She giggled and cooed at his tickling kisses, "Oh… Oh, wow… Hunh…"
He slipped his hands under her butt and squeezed it while he played. It was so big, so juicy, so firm. He kept himself happily entertained with his soft pecks for several minutes, but when she began to beg for more, he knew it was time.
"Please, Steve. Please, I want you. Please, lick my clit," she begged as her own hands began to squeeze and massage her breasts.
He happily obliged, but teased her as he did it. He first licked and sucked on her inner thighs. Then he worked his way back up to her lips. He licked and sucked on them. He lapped at her entrance, leaking her sweetness all over him. He swallowed as much of her as he could before he licked his way all the way up to her tiny pearl, begging for his attention. He licked it a few times, but quickly began to suck on it. Hard.
"OooooOooooOooooo…" she called as he sucked.
"Mmmmm…" he cooed. He pulled away several times a minute to tell her how much he loved eating her. "Mmmm." He ripped his lips off of her clit with a big, strong suck. "Yummy." He sucked on her more and broke away, "You're delicious." He licked her, "I love you, Kitten… Mmmm… That's right. Moan for me."
Her moans faded completely into gibberish. Her hips writhed against the mattress, still trying to gain even more contact with face. Her legs tightened around him, squeezing his head forcefully as her pleasure increased, so he couldn't escape, not that he'd ever try to.
He struggled for breath as she smothered him, but he didn't dare move. He slipped his two fingers back inside her and moved them in and out as he sucked on her button. They moved quickly and so did her enthusiastic hips.
He stayed between her legs, devouring her most sacred area, moaning and slurping happily, for what seemed like hours of ecstasy to her. Though she couldn't express her thoughts, as her mind fogged with pleasure and her voice moaned uncontrollably, she couldn't help but praise him in her mind. God, he's amazing. He's so generous, so sweet, so loving. He – OH! He's so good at this. How is he so good at this? He knows exactly what I need. I love him so much.
He thought back to his biology text books. There had to be more he could do. He knew he wouldn't be able to get her off tonight, not on their first try, but that didn't mean he wouldn't do everything he could to try to make it happen. He remembered something about the little bundle of nerves he was sucking on. He could touch it from both sides! He smiled against her womanhood as he curled his fingers and felt for her G-spot. Not it. Not it. Not it, he thought, rubbing her inner walls.
"OOOHHHHHH!" she cried, biting her lip hard.
Bingo, he thought as he felt around her spongy area. He pressed hard and rubbed his fingers in and out of her, hitting it again and again and again. She was humping his face wildly now and he had given up all hope of controlling her movements. He was just hanging on to her for dear life.
Her moans switched to softer grunts, "Oh, oh… Unh. Uh." Eventually, she went completely silent.
He kept devouring her, but he looked up in concern. Why did she stop her beautiful song of pleasure? He might have stopped to check in, but her cheerleader thighs were compressing his head like a vice. He couldn't stop if he wanted to, and he certainly didn't. He increased his speed and his force, thinking he wasn't doing enough for her.
Every muscle in her body contracted tightly. She felt a warmth flow all the way though her. Her toes curled. Her breath stopped for a moment as her heart pounded in her ears. Steeeeeeve… she called to him wordlessly.
Eventually, her thighs opened and released his head. He pulled away for just a second to inhale deeply before diving back in to her sensitive, throbbing button.
"OH! GOD! OW! STOP!" she yelled as his tongue and lips found their new favorite spot again.
Completely in tune to her needs, he pulled away from her immediately. "Oh, God. Sweetheart, what's wrong? What did I do? How did I hurt you?" he rambled as he propped himself up on his elbows, pulling himself back over her face.
Her eyes locked on his as his face returned to her and she placed her hands on his cheeks to pull him in for a well-deserved kiss. She tasted herself on his lips and moaned, "Mmmmm…" She moved her tongue in his mouth, hoping to give his a break as she rubbed against it. When she was completely out of breath, she released his face.
His eyes were wide and he was panting heavily, gasping for air. "Wow…" he purred.
She reached up and stroked his cheeks. She ran a finger down his nose and over his wet lips and chin. "Thank you, Baby," she purred back.
"For what?" he asked. "I hurt you."
She shook her head, not sure what to say. "Just at the end. It was too sensitive. I couldn't take anymore.
"I wasn't done, Laura Lee. I can do more, please. Please. I want to… pleasure you."
"No, Steve… I think…" she trailed off. She thought back to what her family said this morning. She couldn't have had one, yet, but then what the hell was that? A little one? She didn't know what to tell him. She didn't want to get his hopes up if she was wrong, but she also didn't want to tell him he didn't do it if he did.
"What is it, Sweetums?" he asked, his brow furrowed in deep concern.
"I think you made me come, Steve," she said softly, giving into her feelings and her body and shutting her brain up for once in her life.
"Whaaaaat?" he yelled. "No, I didn't."
She laughed, "I think you did."
"You would know…" he pressed, looking at her uncomfortably.
"Women's bodies don't work like men's, Steve. It's not always easy to tell."
"I'm glad it felt nice, Laura," he said modestly.
"'Nice'? It was amazing!" she beamed, wrapping her legs around his waist again. "Your tongue is incredible."
He smiled proudly, "Thank you, Sugar Toes."
She ran her fingers over his glistening lips again, "Did you… Did you like it?"
"Oh, Baby…" he crooned, "You have no idea." He leaned in and nibbled on her neck. "You taste incredible. You smell delicious. You sound like a siren," he said between nibbles. He pulled away to look at her. "The Greek kind, not the wee-woo, wee-woo, wee-woo…" he said, imitating an emergency siren.
She laughed loudly. "So, you'd be willing to do it again?" she asked hopefully.
"Abso-tutle-utely," he smiled, moving lower on her body.
"No," she said, grabbing his chin. "Not now."
"Oh," he said, disappointedly. "That's probably good. My neck is killing me," he said turning his head from side to side and stretching his tongue. He slid off of her to the side, pulling the sheet back up to cover their bottoms, but still leaving her breasts exposed. He reached out to play with them as she turned to look at him. His hands gripped her breasts and rubbed them. "So, what do you want to do now, then?"
She moaned softly as his thumbs moved to rub her nipples, "Mmm…" Her eyes drifted shut and she basked in his generous touch for a moment.
"You like that, my pet?"
"Mmhmm…"
He moved closer to kiss her breasts.
When his full, wet lips wrapped around her nipple again, drooling all over her breast, she sighed, "Steeeeeeeve…"
He slurped eagerly, pressing his face more forcefully into her hot, sweaty cleavage.
When her head cleared a little, she pushed him off. "Wait, no."
He recoiled for what felt like the millionth time today. This woman couldn't just let him pleasure her, could she?
"It's your turn," she said, smiling up at his disappointed face.
His eyebrows raised in surprise. "Oh, I-Uh…" he stuttered, sitting all the way up. "Oh, no. I d-don't n-nee-need a turn…"
She sat up beside him, propping her back up against the pillows leaned against the headboard and she waved for him to do the same. She moved closer to him and pressed her breasts into his side. She placed her left hand on his chest and her right hand on his neck, caressing both. "It's your turn," she purred again. She couldn't quite reach his neck in this position, so she kissed his collarbone and his shoulder as her fingers grazed his sweaty skin. She trailed her hand down to his abs and his breath caught in his throat. She lifted her hand higher so he could take a moment to calm down. "I want to touch you, Baby," she whispered.
"I-I-I-I…"
"Shhhh... Just play with my breasts, Steve. You love that, don't you?"
He nodded and turned to her. She pulled back so he had a little room. He cupped her breasts and rubbed them gently.
She smiled at him, moving her hand down to his abs again. "That feels great, Baby. Do you like touching your wife's bazooms?" she teased, giggling.
He laughed and snorted, nodding silently. He licked his fingers and began to rub her nipples.
Her finger started to trace the lines of his abs. She moved down to the line of his boxers and dragged a single, long nail across it.
His breathing got heavy and his eyes moved away from her breasts and down to her hand.
"Can I touch you, Steve?"
He shook his head and she pulled her hands away from him. He took his hands off her breasts in fairness.
"What?" she breathed, hurt by his rejection.
"I-I-I-I…"
She turned away and pulled her sheet a little higher, removing her breasts from view for the first time since he discovered them.
"No, Pet, don't cover up," he whispered sadly, pulling gently at her sheet. She let it drop, but he didn't dare reach out to touch her chest again while she looked so hurt. He lifted a hand and stroked her hair.
"Why won't you let me touch you, Steve?" she asked softly, her voice breaking. "I thought you wanted me."
"I do, Sweetheart," he said vehemently.
"Then why can't I touch you?"
"I… I don't want you to see me," he said again.
She turned back to look at him, with deeply sad eyes. "I'm your wife, Steve!"
"I know," he whispered, "but…"
"But what? We talked about this, Steve. You're sexy and I want to see you. I need to see you."
"What if it doesn't look the way you remember?"
Her eyes softened and she moved closer, "That's not gonna happen, Steve."
"It happened to me," he countered.
"I don't look as good as you remember?" she asked, her face scrunching in pain.
"NO!" he shouted in terror. "That's not what I meant," he urged, "not at all. Please, don't think that." She cocked her head at him in confusion and he continued. "I just meant that you look better than I remembered. I thought I remembered every perfect detail, but you still surprised me. What if I surprise you, too, but in a less… pleasant way?"
She pouted at him. "Steeeeve," she whined, "you just have to trust me. You said you trust me. This is your chance to prove it. Please."
He stared at her contemplatively for a long time. "I trust you, Laura," he said, reaching out to cup her breasts, which had become a sort of security blanket to him. "You can touch me," he whispered.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
He nodded, and kissed her as he massaged her big, firm breasts.
She grinned against his lips, kissing him over and over as her hands journeyed back down his chest. She stopped at the waistband of his boxers again. "You sure?"
He nodded and moved his fingers to pinch her nipples. Playing with her more roughly calmed his nerves.
"Oh!" she yelped as she felt his fingers squeezed her hard nipples.
He opened his eyes to look at her face while they kissed. Her eyes remained tightly closed and her hand slipped into his boxers. Her hand gripped his member and it twitched hard. He pulled away from her lips, but held on tight to her breasts, squeezing them roughly. "OH, LAURA," he roared, as he came. His cum shot out of his manhood at full speed and her eyes shot open. She stared at him with wide eyes, still gripping him tightly. He pulled her hand from his boxers and turned away as he began to soften. He was mortified.
Laura looked at him, and immediately understood what had happened, seeing a small amount of his cum on her hand. She knew she had to work fast or he'd try to bolt. She quickly tugged him down on the bed so he lay flat on his back. She climbed on top of him, straddling his abdomen to avoid his sensitive groin. His eyes looked shocked, scared, and embarrassed, but she quickly kissed him and thrust her tongue into his mouth. She rubbed her wetness against his abs and she moaned, "Mmmm…" She pulled away slightly to look into his eyes. "You look so sexy when you come, Baby."
"H-how d-d-d-d-did y-you-you kn-now?"
She held her hand up to show him his cum, then she slowly slipped her tongue out of her mouth and licked it off her hand. He tasted salty, but she liked his manly, musky flavor. She had planned to exaggerate her desire for his cum to make him feel better, but she didn't have to. His flavor was a huge turn-on. She wiggled against him again and moaned, "Mmmmm… Honey, you taste so gooooooooood…"
He reached his hands up slowly to grip her hips. His mouth hung open in shock and desire. He wanted to take her, but he had messed it all up. As a wave of his humiliation hit him again, he whined, "I'm so sorry I ruined our wedding night, Pet. I tried so hard not to, but you're just too much for me. I couldn't hold back anymore."
"Ruined our night?" she asked, leaning down so their faces were close and her bare breasts pressed against him.
"Well, yeah. I promised you we'd make love, and now, we can't," he said, matter-of-factly.
"Oh, yes, we can," she said firmly. "You are not allowed to go to sleep until you consummate this marriage, Mister."
"But, Laura… I can't. It gets… soft after…" he whined.
"But then it gets hard again," Laura insisted. "Steve, you're young and healthy. Unless you have a problem you haven't told me about, you should be hard again in a little while."
"You're willing to wait that long?"
Laura furrowed her brow, "How long does it usually take you?"
"About ten minutes," he estimated thoughtfully.
She laughed out loud, "You waited fifteen years for me. I can wait ten minutes." She shook her head at him and leaned down to kiss him. "Don't stress about it or it won't come back. Just play with me, ok?"
"Can I taste you again, my sweet?" he begged bashfully.
She smiled at him, "Absolutely." She climbed off of him and lay back down on the other side of the bed. She spread her legs for him and smiled down at him when he found his way back between them.
He smiled in return before leaning down to kiss and lick her thighs again. Her soft moans had already made his manhood twitch. She was right. He hadn't ruined anything yet. He licked his way up her thigh so that he could lick at her entrance. He stuck his tongue inside and moved it in and out of her like he would his member when it was ready again. He moaned as he slurped at her honey. "Nghhhhh…"
"Oh, yessss…" she moaned. She fought to keep her head on straight, hoping a little dirty talk would help the process along. "Oh, God. Oh, Steve, Honey, your tongue feels so good. I wish it was your… your big…" She hesitated. He hadn't called it anything yet, so she didn't know what to say.
He pulled away and looked back at her eyes, "You really think it's big?"
She sat up, surprised. "Of course, I do, Steve. You're huge."
"Well, you haven't seen anyone else's," he pointed out.
She pulled on his face so he would come lay next to her. She turned around so that she could press her butt into him as they talked.
He spooned her and instinctively grabbed her breasts.
"Steve, I've read books and magazines. I've talked to my girlfriends. You are way bigger than most guys."
He kissed her neck, "Do you really like that?"
She sighed softly, contemplating. "Well, I don't know, Steve. I like the way it looks, but I don't know what it will feel like. I'm scared it'll be too big for me."
He wiggled up against her perfect ass as he felt his member grow hard for her again. A part of him liked the idea that his member intimidated her a little. He ran his hand down her side and grabbed a firm handful of her booty. "I'll make it fit," he promised.
"What if it hurts?" she asked softly.
"I won't let it, Sweetums. You have to trust me, too, you know."
"I do trust you, Steve. I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose, but I want to be able to take it all. I know you want that, too. What if it just doesn't fit?"
"It will fit," he promised, using his scientist voice again, but being more confident, he allowed it to be a little more personal. "You're going to stretch far enough to birth my babies someday, my pet. You can make room for me and my huge, hard–"
"But childbirth does hurt, Steve!" she whined, turning to him, actually a little frightened. "I don't want you to hurt me."
"I won't," he promised, "That is, until I put those babies in your belly. That's gonna hurt, Pet, and there's very little I can do about that."
She laughed and kissed him. "I trust you," she said firmly. "I just… I'm just nervous."
"Don't be, my love. I'll be gentle." He leaned down and kissed her again. He slipped two fingers deep inside her, "Are you almost ready?"
"Oh…" she moaned. "Are you?"
He nodded excitedly. "It's ready, Sweetheart. All I need is your ok."
"I wanted to touch you more first."
"I don't think I have that kind of stamina, yet, my love."
She nodded, a little disappointed. She pulled him back between her legs. "I'm ready, but I want to look at it for a minute."
He swallowed hard and closed his eyes as he knelt above her.
Taking that as approval, she pulled his boxers down and watched intently as his hard member sprung out at her. Aunt Rachel was wrong. He was both a shower and a grower. Laura felt her face flush, but it wasn't embarrassment, it was arousal. He was fine. His member was long and thick. She licked her lips as she noticed the pre-cum already pooling on the tip again and the drying cum that had dribbled down. She wanted to reach out and stroke it, but she was afraid it would send him over the edge again, so she just complimented him. "You are so big, Honey. Oh, I love it. It looks so good. I wanna do so many naughty things to you… and to it."
"Please, don't touch, Pet. I need to get inside you."
"Oh, I'm ready, Steve. Take my virginity, Steve Urkel! Consummate our marriage!" She felt kind of silly yelling those things at Steve, but she knew the thought of their marriage and her virginity would be a way bigger turn-on to Steve than if she just yelled, "Fuck me!" like a naughty part of her wanted to. He stood abruptly off the bed. He dropped his boxers to the floor and she sat up to look at him. She got her first good look at his strong, bare butt when he crouched and picked up his pants. She watched confused as he pulled out his wallet and started to dig through it. "Is everything ok, Steve? You know, I really wasn't planning on charging you," she joked.
"No sweat, my pet," he said, standing again to smile at her. He held up a small square proudly and she took the moment to gaze longingly at his body. His thighs were thick and muscular. His manhood was huge and throbbing, sticking right out at her. His balls were tight and full of cum for her. She trailed her eyes up his defined torso and stared at his big, strong arms that were about to hold her close. She looked at his broad shoulders and finally up to his face. He looked so excited and so happy. She was relieved to see him look at her like that after the night of ups and downs they had had. He was ready for her. She smiled at him sweetly and turned her attention back to what he was holding. "Is that a condom, Honey?" she asked.
He nodded, his breath coming a little too fast to say it aloud.
She shook her head, "Is that the only one you brought?"
A look of confusion suddenly took over his face, "Well, how many do we need?"
"Well," she said softly, "We're going to make love right now, and maybe we'll want to do it again tonight, depending on how we feel. Plus, we'll definitely want to before we go to the airport tomorrow, right?"
His face grew sad. "I-I… I can run to the drugstore right now, Pet."
She giggled and shook her head, "No, you may not."
"But, Laura, I want–"
"Steve!" she said, exasperated. "If you had let me finish any of the thousand sex talks we were going to have before tonight, you would know that I'm on the pill."
"You are?" he asked.
"Yes! I didn't want anything… coming between us."
"Oh…" he said contemplatively. He set the condom down on the night stand. "So we can just…?"
"Yes," she said softly. "Come back to bed, Steve."
He climbed back in bed and slid under the sheets next to his wife. He kissed her as he climbed back on top. "Are you sure you're ready?" he asked, lining himself up with her entrance.
"Whenever you are, Baby."
He pressed the tip of his member gently against her wet entrance. "Ohhhh…" he whimpered.
She reached up and stroked his face.
He pushed forward gently, easing the head inside. "Ohhhh…" he groaned lower.
"Oh, Steve," she whispered as she felt him push her walls further apart than they'd ever been. She wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Are you… Oh, God! You ok?" he gritted through clenched teeth as he held back his every urge that demanded he take her hard and fast.
"I feel great, Steve. Um… It's big, but I'm ok. Just go slow," she said, looking up at his face. His eyes were shut tightly and his face twisted in the effort of resisting her.
"Unh. Oh… Can I…? Are you ready for more?"
"Mmhmm."
He pushed in another inch.
"Oh, God…" she whispered breathlessly.
He pulled himself out and pressed just that small amount back in. "Nnngghh…" he groaned nonsensically.
"Ooo…"
He eased himself in further. "Ahhh…" he whispered breathlessly.
"Slow down, Steve," she whined.
He pressed his face into her neck and kissed her. "Oh, you feel so good, Laura Lee. I need you." He moved his left hand to fondle her right breast. He pushed himself in further.
"OH!" she yelped. "It's too much. You're too big, Steve."
He opened his eyes and looked down at her scared face, "Oh, Pet. I'm sorry. Do you want me to stop? There's only a little bit left, Sweetheart," he panted.
She shook her head. "No more. Not yet. Just move inside me, ok?"
He nodded and started to slowly pump in and out of her. "Ohhhhhhh, Laaaaaurrraaaaaa…" he growled.
"Mmmmmm…"
He started to move faster, but still kept his last few inches out of her. His body started to tense. "Laura… Laura… Laura…" he moaned as he thrust.
"Oh, yes… Oh, Steve. Yes!" she moaned in response.
He felt a familiar heat tear through his muscles. "Oh, no. Oh, Laura. I'm…" He started to move faster and faster. His eyes shot open to lock onto hers.
"SteeeEeeeEeeeEeeeve…" she whined.
"OH, I LOVE YOU. LAURALAURALAURA!" he yelled as thrust himself inside her, burying his member all the way to his pelvis. They made intense eye contact as he finished inside of her for the first time. He squeezed her breasts as he pumped his cum deep inside her womanhood.
"OH, GOD!" she yelled as he forced himself the rest of the way in.
He relaxed his body on top of her, burying his face in her neck.
She stroked his sweaty back as she felt his breathing return to normal and his pounding heart slow. "Oh, Steve," she purred. "I love you, too."
He held her tightly, still inside her completely. "We consummated our marriage," he whispered in her ear.
She giggled softly, "Yes, we did."
He propped himself up on his elbows to look at her again, "Did you like it?"
She smiled, "Honestly, there's some room for improvement, but yes, Steve. I loved it. It was a great first time."
"I'm sorry I didn't last longer."
"That's ok. We just need a little practice."
"You felt… You feel incredible. I'm never moving."
"Mmmm… There's no hurry. Now that you're in, you feel really good. It was getting you inside that hurt."
"I'm so sorry, my love. I never meant to…"
"I know," she whispered. "It's ok, Steve. It was good… and it's only going to get better, right?"
"Right," he promised.
"At least until we're old and wrinkly and our marriage loses that spark," she teased.
"That will never happen, Laura," he swore.
She kissed him. Her tongue danced lovingly and gently with his.
"Do you want to do it again, Sweetums?" he asked softly.
"I do, Steve, but I'm sooo tired. Can we wait until morning?"
"No sweat, my pet." He kissed her gently on the forehead and slowly pulled out. He rolled off of her and leaned over to the nightstand. He set the alarm clock to wake them bright and early so they would have a little alone time before they had to rush to the airport. He set his glasses on the nightstand and rolled back over to her, wrapping one arm around her waist. "Do you want me to turn off the candles?"
"No, I like them and they're safe, so this is good. I like that I can see you," she replied.
He kissed her neck gently for a few minutes. "Turn over, Sweetums," he whispered.
Barely awake, she rolled to face away from him. She felt his arm wrap around her side and the comforter pull up to their shoulders. One of his arms slipped under her and the other stroked her flat stomach slowly. He pressed his member hard into her butt and molded his body around her. They were linked so tightly that they shared one pillow. He leaned up and softly kissed her lips one more time. "Goodnight, Mrs. Urkel. I love you."
"I love you, too, Dr. Urkel. Goodnight," she teased before closing her eyes again.
He returned to his big-spoon position and held her tightly as they both quickly fell asleep.
