"What?"

Bobby was cranky when he opened the door to the Winchester boys. All he'd gotten was a panicked-sounding voicemail from Dean –

"Bobby! We really need your help. I don't know. . .something extremely strange is going on. Cas isn't coming when Dean calls him, and. . .well, we're coming to see you."

--and then nothing for fourteen hours straight. So he'd been stuck in near-panic mode himself for a day. After all, Dean never sounded panicked. The more scared he was, the more taciturn he became. And what was with the third person thing?

They certainly looked. . .strange. . .standing on his doorstep. Dean was hunched over, hands in his pockets, a strange pout on his face. And Sam. . .Sam was lounging back, restlessly shifting feet, whistling. . .whistling. Sam.

"All right, idjits, how bad is it?" Bobby asked. He didn't move from his position guarding the door. The damn fools were going to tell him what was going on before he'd let them in his house, that was for sure.

"Bobby!" Sam turned, his face lighting up in a broad, shit-eating grin. Dean continued to pout. "Long time, no see! How's it hanging?"

"Oh. My. God."

"What? Bobby? Is something wrong?" Dean leaned forward, green eyes wide and concerned. Sam, meanwhile, went instantly tense, eyes flinting.

"Is there a demon here?"

"Oh. My God." Bobby pulled off his hat, ran a hand through what little hair he had left. "You switched bodies."

Both boys stared at him, slack-jawed in astonishment. Sam – no, Deans – jaw nearly touched the ground, while Sam scrunched up his face.

"How did you know?"

Bobby sighed and wheeled back, letting them into the room. "Practically helped raise you two, didn't I?" he asked gruffly. "I know my boys, even when they're in different. . .meat suits. . ."

"Hey!" Dean turned around, the broad grin looking strange on Sam's features. "Look at that! Sam, you're a meat-suit! Dude. . .you're like a Dean condom!"

Sam just glared at him. "What does that make you, dude?"

"Oh. . ." Dean shuffled away awkwardly, banging his head on the mantle as he walked away. "Dammit!" he cursed before disappearing from sight. Bobby sighed again.

"All right, Sam. Tell me everything. How did it happen?"

"That's kind of the problem," Sam said. "We're not sure. We just went to bed, and then when we woke up. . ."

"I was stuck in the Ginormatron's body!" Dean yelled back. "Sammy, look! I can totally touch the ceiling in here! I've always wanted to do that!"

"It's Sam. . ." the younger brother growled. Bobby, meanwhile, listened for the inevitable. The ceiling in the den was a very unstable stucco, so any minute. . .

"Ow!" Dean reappeared a minute later, a fine white dust stuck in Sam's long hair. "Uh. . .sorry, Bobby. . ."

"Well, what did the angel say?" Bobby decided to focus his attention on the less dumb-ass of the Winchesters.

"We haven't been able to get a hold of him," Sam sighed. "Dean's been trying, but. . .not answer."

They really were idiots. Bobby glared at Sam.

"Take off your shirt, boy," he said.

"What?" Sam gaped at him, while Dean held up his hands.

"Wow, Bobby, down boy! Just because my beautiful body is defenseless doesn't mean. . ."

"Just take it off," Bobby growled. With an uncertain look, Sam pulled the black shirt over his head.

"I don't get it. . ."

Bobby pointed at his shoulder, the clear palm print on skin. "You're the one linked to the angels, now, boy," Bobby said. "You have to call him."

"Oh," Sam looked uncomfortable. "I've never. . .um. . .Dean usually. . ."

"Dude, it's not hard," Dean said, flipping his cell phone in Sam's direction. "He's number two on speed dial."

"Who's number one?" Sam asked curiously.

"Bobby, of course!" Dean said. Despite the shit-eating grin (again! Bobby was beginning to think that Dean was enjoying the change in circumstances) he was rather touched.

"Hey, Castiel," Sam said. A moment later there was a whooshing sound, and the angel stood directly in front of Sam. Bobby was impressed. Freak could move.

"Dean, what is wrong?" Castiel leaned in close to Sam's face. Bobby winced a little. No wonder Dean was always bitching about personal space. Castiel's gaze was intense, and Sam backed up a step.

"You are not Dean," Castiel said. In the corner, Dean let out a delicate cough. When the angel changed his gaze, he grinned, lifted up his arms.

"Hey, Cas, how's it hanging?"

The angel cocked his head, a confused expression on his face. He walked with deliberate steps over to his. . .his what? Bobby wasn't exactly sure what they were to each other. He reached out a hand, touched Dean's shoulder. Dean laughed.

"Check it out, Cas, you can barely reach!" Dean grinned at his brother. "Sammy, boy! You are soooooooo tall!"

"I know, Dean," Sam sat down in a chair.

"I do not understand," Castiel said. "Samuel and Dean. . .why have you chosen to exchange forms? Are you trying to confuse Lucifer?"

"No," Sam said, at the same moment that Dean exclaimed "hey, would that work?"

"No," Bobby and Castiel said at the same time. Bobby sighed. "The devil isn't interested in you, Sam. He just wants your body." Dean snicked. Bobby rolled his eyes. Immature idiot.

"Though this could well still be one of Lucifer's plots," Castiel said thoughtfully. "After all. . .with their backgrounds, Samuel is far more susceptible to Heaven. . ."

"And Dean to Hell," Bobby nodded his head. "I should of thought of that. Dammit."

"We have to rectify this." Castiel said.

"Definitely," Sam moaned into his hands.

"Think back," Bobby ordered. "What did you do the night before the change?"

"Nothing," Sam said in exasperation. "We fought over what to watch on tv. We got a few drinks. We went to bed."

Bobby ground his teeth together in frustration. There had to be a trigger, of course. The knuckleheads were just too dense to find it. Nothing unusual there. . .they usually couldn't find a clue unless it was attached to some kind of supernatural death. No ability to recognize things ahead of a gruesome end. If only he'd been there.

"I have an idea," Castiel said, and before anyone could protest, he'd reached out and grabbed Dean's wrist, and gently touched two fingers to Bobby's head.

Oh shiiiiii the old hunter thought.