Better Call the Bird Lawyer
Chapter 1
"Mall Mice"
Some Year between 2017 and 2021
The Month of September
The Omaha Mall
10:30 PM
"Excuse me, which way to the convention center?" said a random passerby
"Left that way, then straight ahead, up the escalator, then all the way down to the end" said Jimmy
"Thank you" replied the passerby
"Hi I am order #540"said a random customer
"Yes, one large Cinnamon bun, 2 large coffees, coming up. Your total is $8.57" said Jimmy
"Excuse me, do you validate parking" said another random passerbyer
"No, Magic Store Express does validations" replied Jimmy
"Thank you"
About 2 hours earlier that day.
Mac and Charlie entered the mall. They are heading to the Convention Center for a bar owners convention, which is connected to the mall via a pedestrain overpass. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks he can get his side business of being a "bird layer" off the ground while out of town. Charlie just passed (barely) a lincense exam to become a paralegal from a shaddy online college. Mac meanwhile thinks he's a private detective; after having passed a shady online PI class.
"Man, I am telling you, this is going to be amazing. I can make all sorts of contacts, you know, expand my network. Its going to be awesome" said Charlie
"Dude, we're here to promote Paddy's Pub. That's what we came here for." replied Mac
"I mean yeah. I know Mac. I am just saying, since we're out here anyway. I mean there's no reason why we can't do both."
"Charlie, we talked about this. We don't want to get too distracted. We're here on business. Dude, no one here is going to be interested in your bird law services."
"How about I just do my thing and you do your thing. How bout that. Ok" said Charlie
"Yeah, ok fine, lets just find the convention center." said Mac
"Hey, lets ask that guy at the Cinnamon Bun place." said Charlie
"Dude no." replied Mac
"What do you mean no. Dude, just go ask him." said Charlie
"I told you. I am a private detective now. I can find anything or anyone, day and night. I am like a PI ninja. Kiwa!" said Mac doing a karatee chop in the middle of the mall
"We don't need directions. Charlie, I can figure this out. I figure things out because that's what I do."
"Well, yeah. But I mean if you go ask him and he tells you then you where the convention center is then you would have figured it out by asking him."
"Oh my God dude , that's perfect. I can use my PI skills to obtain the information of where the convention center is." said Mac
"Or if we printed out the map of the mall before we left like I said that would have worked too. I'll go ahead and ask him." said Charlie
"Man, no, I'll ask him. I am the private investigator expert. I am the one what figures out stuff." said Mac
"Yeah, ok fine, you go ask him."
"Next in line" said Jimmy
"oh, hi I would like-" said a random customer
"Hi, excuse me. Which way is the.. "
"Excuse me, can I finish making my order. Thank you."
"It will only take a second." said Mac
"Dude, let him order" said Charlie
"I got this." said Mac
"*sigh*. Yes I woul-" continued the customer
"We just want to know how to get to the convetion center." said Mac
"Left, straight ahead, up the escalator, then all the way down to the end. " said Jimmy, then turned to the customer
"And you wanted." said Jimmy turning his attention back to the customer
"I'll have the #5 and a large iced coffee, but not too-"
"Hey, you said…" said Mac
Jimmy puts hims plam out, mouthing "one minute"
"A #5 and large iced coffee?" asked Jimmy
"Yes, but not much ice." said the customer
"I understand. Off course you don't want to get ripped off and not get any coffee with your coffee. *wink wink*" said Jimmy
"Exactly" said the custome
"Your total sir is $5.23" said Jimmy
"Excus-" – started Mac
"Yes, I would like one large #3."
"That will be $3.54 mamn."
"Thank you."
"Yes, you said left. You mean like here, or go all the way to the end of the hallway." asked Mac
"Ok, you make a left by that cart over there. Then you just go straight. Then up the escalator, then keep straight. You should see a walkway that connects the mall to the convention center."
"Ok, thanks man." said Charlie.
As they walk away a bit.
"Man, can you believe that woman's rudeness. Dude, she just interupted me. Who does that" said Mac.
"I know, right" replied Charlie.
As they are walking towards the cart, Mac turns right.
"Dude, what are you doing. We're supposed to make a left" said Charlie
"Oh I am taking a detour. Check this out. " Mac points to a magic store
"I can totally get some tools for my PI work. Hey, hey, excuse me sir" Mac yells attemping to get the attention of the magic store owner's while busy assisting a customer.
"Those are some bad ass handcuffs." Mac says, and then lowers his voice.
"Hey listen, I am a private detective. I am looking for some tools for my trade that would help me with my arts" says Mac
"Excuse me?" retorted the owner confused
"Mac, I really think we should be going to the convention. We want to get there early so we get a good spot." Says Charlie
"ok, fine. We'll stop by on our way back." said Mac as he contined walking straight.
"Excuse me, can I interest you gentelmen in a fine cokabola pen. Made from pure 100% pure cokabola wood" said a man attending a cart in the middle of the walking path.
"Well, not really, we-" said Mac before being inturuped by Charlie
"Hey, check it out" - said Charlie
"Dude" said Mac
"Excuse me sir. Yes, I am an esteemed professional. I specialize in bird law servies, and this is my associate who happens to be a licensed private detective. We would like to browse around as we are in a need of a professional quality writing instrument." said Charlie
"Yes. We have a certificate of authenticity that is indeed 100% pure cokabola wood made pen. They are $15.00, two for $25." said the cart attendend in his Isralie accent.
"Those are kinda cool" said Mac, "We should get two. Its looks like one of those James Bond pens that I can neutralize my opponents while doing my PI work."
"We'll take two please." said Charlie
"That will be $26.75" replied the Israeli sales clerk as Charlie paid him.
"I think we should later try my idea where we let a mouse loose and get a free meal from the food court." said Charlie
"Dude, ok, but where are you going to get a mouse." said Mac
"I mean I am sure theres' a pet, or we could just catch a rat." said Charlie
"Ok, but a mouse will probably cost more than whatever free meal we get. It would make more sense to get a rat. Besides, there's scarier." said Mac
"Ok, we'll figure it out later." said Charlie