Morty is on his laptop faintly sighing typing away and Rick barges in stumbling around drunk.
"Hey-ey (belch) whatcha doing Morty? You...you doing a science project? You you ordering something on Amazon? What sorta amazingly mediocre normie shit is my Morty up too?"
"Im on a teen dating site Rick. I'm going to get Jessica out of my head..."
"Thats good Morty. Thats real goos. You should (belch) you should make a sock account of a girl and see all the needless attention they get. From hopeless men just looking for love and validation."
"Rick you're...slightly more drunk than usual."
"Im serious Morty do it! See how good women have it!"
"Ok geez! Mor...ticia"
"Real original Morty. I bet Roiland cameup with that one."
Morty as soon as he hits register gets blasted with messages. Some ranging from polite others coming off as too strong but well meaning. A few "sup..."
"Oh geez look at all of these messages. I havent even described myself yet."
"You think (belch) you think men just turn into misogynist trolls Morty because we were born that way? No stupid. We we realize how irrelevant our happiness and health is to these motherfuckers both on a minute scale of one on one relationships and society at large. They don't care how we feel. If we're enduring crippling loneliness and depression. As long as work, buy, and eventually die Morty."
"Oh geez Rick I mean I mean I get you but you know that happens to women too."
"Those breasts are a bullet proof vest Morty. Doesnt mean you can't be shot."
"What?"
"What? What do I need to explain the analogy?"
"Nono it was just...bad."
Morty comes clean to a lot of these dudes trying to raise their confidence and did this to show his grandpa that men and women both get shit online but it really is a whole different experience for women. As soon as Rick looks on the screen he gets sent a message that is just a picture of a dick. He looks away and puts his hand on the screen.
"Oh geez I dont wanna see that ew..."
"Its just a peepee Morty. You see one all the time when you jackoff."
"Yeah but its mine"
"You see them in porn too!"
"Yeah but i...imagine thats my own OH GOD THERES ANOTHER ONE!"
"Maybe... (belch) maybe touching the penis is key to the magic powers women are granted."
"Rick how drunk are you and are you insuating i should touch YOUR umm...peepee?"
"What?! Noooo. Fuck Morty why do you gotta make it weird?! I could do better anyway..."
"Wow geez..."
"Im just saying your life would be ten times easier as woman. Which is still living and still misery but hey...bulletproof vest Morty."
"Jesus Rick you know just because women have differet problems doesnt mean womens problems are less...WHAT?! I GOT MOTHERFUCKING BANNED RICK!"
"Bulletproof vest but still can get shot Morty and moderators are terrorists..."
Rick opens his flask and before he takes a drink Morty yells again.
"THIS ISNT EASIER AT ALL. ITS LIKE...its like im just under constant preassure to be everybodys fucking emotional bandaid. I mean i understand men are lonely...IM lonely. But you cant depend on an external source to fix all those problems. I mean Jesus get some friends, get a dog, I understand you want to be loved we all do but you also need to have a backbone you're a man for crying out loud...OH GEEZ HOW AM I STILL GETTING DICK PICS IF IM BANNED?!"
"Touch the peepee Morty (belch!) it'll give you the power of a lady and make allll your dreams come true."
Morty just glares at Rick frustrated and puts his hand on the screen with the immense veiny schlong picture and all of a sudden an okcupid moderator typing away chuckling at banning random members drops dead and his head hits the keyboard.
"I didn't get what I wanted Rick but you're right... things go better as a woman."