Fushigi Yuugi: Gone Swimming
"Are we there yet?" Tasuki moaned.
"No." Chiriko whined back, in an equally irritated voice. A few minutes later…
"Are we there YET?"
"NO!"
Tasuki pouted on the horse and Chiriko gave him a tired look. "Tasuki-san, I know you want to get there and get back to your bandits, but it's still quite a way to the Shinzaho. They don't grow on trees, you know."
Tasuki nodded and patted his head. He was a smart kid, and Tasuki liked him. If the kid wanted to become a bandit, he'd be a helluva bookkeeper. Sure the boy'd have to toughen up, but he'd take care of him. However, he didn't think that the kid was all that interested.
"Tamahome…" Miaka sighed and snuggled closer to the bishonen she shared a horse with.
"Miaka…."
"Tamahome…"
"Miaka…"
"Are we there YET?"
"Tasuki-san does it LOOK like we're there yet?!"
"URUSAI NA NO DA!" Chichiri wailed. The entire group fell silent and looked at him. He sweatdropped. "Ano… we should hurry to get the Shinzaho no da."
"My beauty could be marred if I exert myself enough to sweat. We must take a break." Hotohori announced and flipped his hair.
"And I'm soooo thirsty… Tamahomeee I want something to drink! And eat! Ne? Ne? Can we stop now?" Miaka whined. She gazed around the surroundings. Suddenly, she perked up immensely. Water… She was sure she heard water! With lightning speed, she jumped off the horse and took off running. "Mizu! Mizuuuu!"
"Miaka! Wait for meeee!" Tamahome cried and ran after her.
"Mou… she's so spoiled." Nuriko sighed and got off his horse and led it towards the direction Miaka and Tamahome ran.
"Hai no da." Chichiri responded, "But she's our miko and friend, we've got to protect her na no da." The rest of the seishi nodded and got down from their horses.
"Oi oi oi! Look at me! Look at me!" Tasuki said, balancing himself on one of the poles sticking up from the springs.
'Why are their poles in the springs?' Chichiri thought, and watched the good-natured bandit until the inevitable happened. He fell in.
Miaka and Hotohori were both too busy to notice the antics of the ignorant. They had their own ignorance to pay attention to.
"Oooo… pretty." Miaka said, looking at her own reflection.
"Oooo… pretty." Hotohori said, gazing into his pool. 'I'm irresistible.' He thought happily and leaned closer.
*Splash*
Both the clumsy and the narcissistic fell in.
"MIAKA!" Tamahome shouted and jumped towards the pool, missing by centimeters and falling into the pool beside it.
How many springs were in this place anyways?
"Fascinating…" Chiriko muttered and took a vial out of his bag. Leaning over, he tried to get a sample of the spring. The water wasn't dark, but it was so deep, you couldn't see the bottom, however they were so close to each other, how could they not be joined by some sort of source? Unfortunately, Chiriko was too busy thinking to pay attention to his footing. He slipped in.
"AIEEEEEE!!!"
A shrill, angry shriek filled the air, followed by the sounds of loud cursing.
"Tasuki." Mitsukake determined and ran to the source. He should've been more careful though, he didn't even notice that tiny rock in the middle of the road.
*Splash*
Jusenkyou claimed yet another victim.
Nuriko looked up. "Bakas." He said and reapplied his lipstick. "It's too hot to be playing around."
Tasuki climbed out of the spring first. "Shit! What the hell's wrong with you guys, you know I can't swim!" he shouted and gasped. "Oi… what the fuck's wrong with my voice?" he said, feeling his throat. Something was missing. "Where's my adam's apple?" he muttered and felt around. Nothing.
He looked down and his eyes widened. "No fucking way… NO FUCKING WAY!!!" he screamed and tore open his shirt which revealed two pale mounds that had NOT been there before. "MY DICK!!! IT'S MISSING!!!" he cried and ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off.
(No offense Susaku-sama.)
Nuriko looked up coldly. He was not in the mood to deal with this today. "Tasuki, why don't you look in your pants where you left it?"
Tasuki ran up to him angrily, "It's not there, I've checked!" he screamed and put Nuriko's hands on his breasts. "I'm a fuckin' GIRL!"
Nuriko's eyes widened and he lifted Tasuki off the ground with ease. "Where is it, Tasuki!? WHERE IS THE SPRING!?" he asked desperately. Tasuki just whimpered and mourned the loss of his manhood with as much dignity as he could scrounge up.
"Oh no! You fall in 'Spring of Drowned Girl' There is tragic legend of girl…" the man started.
"What's wrong with you? Why are you talking like that?" Tasuki grumbled. "Talk normal…"
The man blinked. "I talking normal."
"Shhh… Tasuki-ku er… chan." Nuriko whispered. "The poor man's obviously a little slow." Tasuki growled and nodded.
"Anyway, there is tragic legend of girl who drowned in that spring last week. Now whoever fall in that spring take body of young girl!" the man finished. Nuriko's eyes narrowed dangerously and he grabbed the man.
"Where…is…that… SPRING!?" he demanded and the man shrugged. Nuriko was so flustered he felt like he was going to cry. HE WANTED THAT SPRING!
Hotohori was the next to crawl out. He shook himself dry and looked into the pool, seeing a proud, yet elegant peacock looking back. He sighed in relief.
'I'm still beautiful.'
Miaka crawled out slowly and shook off the water, 'Tamahome?' she thought.
"Meooooooow!" she wailed as she looked around desperately for her lost love.
Tamahome swam out of the spring and stared in horror at the figure in front of him. 'A giant cat!' he thought and got in fighting stance. The cat stared at him and blinked.
"Meow?" Miaka said, and nudged the rat on his back. Tamahome closed his eyes, it looked like this was the end. The cat sniffed him from his whiskers to the tip of his tail and then gave him loving licks. "MEOOOOOOW!" she moaned and nuzzled the little rat.
'Miaka?… What happened to you koi? What happened to ME?" Tamahome thought and looked at his little paws.
"Oh no, you two fall in springs of drowned cat and rat! Very tragic legend of lady who put cat out this morning to chase rat, they drown in spring this afternoon…" the man said, an amused look on his face.
"Oi, this ain't funny…" Tasuki said and grabbed the man angrily. The man gave him a lustful look and Tasuki backed off quickly and hid behind Nuriko. "THIS is what you wanna hafta deal with!?"
Chiriko was the next to surface. "Ow… my head." He said and rubbed his temples. Climbing out, he observed things seemed to be a little off. Nuriko was protecting a cursing red headed female, a peacock was in Hotohori's imperial clothing, and a drenched cat was snuggling and licking a rat, who happened to be snuggling back. While he was used to weird occurrences, this was less ordinary than he was used to. The only person who looked like he knew what was going on was Chichiri.
"Chichiri-san, where's everybody gone?" Chiriko asked. Chichiri looked at him and shook his head.
"Chiriko-chan, ne?" he asked. Chiriko nodded and Chichiri led him to a pond where he saw the reflection of a beautiful, voluptuous young woman with golden blond hair and bright blue eyes. She looked like she could have been related to Nakago. Slowly, Chiriko looked down, and saw that the ravishing woman in the pond, was him.
"Fascinating." Was all he could think to say as he got out his chemistry set and started to collect cells and experimenting.
After Nuriko clocked the hentai man by the ponds, he looked out and sighed. "I guess I'm stuck being a man. I don't know which spring is which."
"Oh poor baby." Tasuki said while buttoning up his jacket. "So, where's everyone else?"
Chiriko raised his hand and looked at Tasuki. "I believe the question is WHAT, not where Tasuki-san."
Tasuki blinked and stared at Chiriko. "Chiriko-chan, you're a babe! What the hell kinda spring did you fall inta?"
"He fall into spring of drowned Ample Blond Bishojo." The man said, holding his hand over his black eye. "Is very tragic legend of beautiful genki cheerleader that drowned last Thursday during Wrestling tournament."
Tasuki narrowed his gaze at the man. "What's WRONG with you people!? Can no one in your fuckin' village SWIM!?"
Nuriko rolled his eyes, "Where's Hotohori-sama?" he asked worriedly. Then he saw a peacock staring into the water and preening himself. "Nevermind."
"Well where's Miaka-san and Tamahome-san?" Chiriko asked and clutched the scraps of his robe, wishing he wasn't so damn curious. Chichiri put his kesa around Chiriko and pointed to the love-love cat and rat couple.
"Oh."
"Well… that's everybody… except Mitsukake… where's he no da?"
Just then a rustling came from the trees. Tasuki whipped out his tessen and prayed to Susaku it'd still work, regardless of his present femininity.
Out of the bushes came a dark green donkey with a headband on. Tasuki relaxed and put the tessen away.
The man shook his head. "How terrible. Man fall in spring of drowned ass. Is tragic legend of dumb ass that wander into pond and drowned self. Happened 5 minutes before you come. In fact, ass still there." He said and pointed to a donkey carcass floating face down in a pond.
"Well, that's everybody." Chichiri said sighing. "How are we supposed to call Susaku now?" Nuriko frowned and picked up Hotohori, cuddling him gently and whispering words of reassurance that he was still the most beautiful creature on the face of the planet. He cooed in response.
Chiriko thought, and looked at the man. "Is there any way to reverse these changes to our bodies?" The man looked directly at his chest and nodded.
"Is way you can change back, but… why? You hot…" he replied, before having the sharp end of Tasuki's tessen against his throat.
"Oi ya hentai, he's just a kid. You wanna mess with someone, try me, I'll kick yer ass." Tasuki growled.
"You give me ass?" he asked, signaling towards Mitsukake.
"NO! I mean I'm gonna shove my tessen up yer fuckin' ass if you don't tell me how ta get my dick back!" Tasuki screamed. "NOW SPILL!"
The frightened man nodded. "Is saying in village that if douse with hot water, curse lifted. If douse with cold, curse return."
"So all we have to do is get them some hot water and they'll become normal again?" Nuriko asked and stroked Hotohori's feathers.
"Yes, but when cold water touch them, they change back to form of curse." The man said and slowly backed away from Tasuki.
Chichiri smiled, as always, "Then there's still hope na no da."