Disclaimer: We do not own Young Justice or any of it's characters. Nor do we own the Birds of Prey song from Batman: The Brave and the Bold.
Dizzy with a dame- to be deeply in love with a woman.
Young Justice, Prohibition era AU. Let the fun and begin! ;)
o.o.o.o
Written by Dott, TheRantDragon, Chaneldancegrl, and IronicVeghead
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Gotham City: July 25, 1923
o.o.o
It was hot, even for Gotham this time of year. The air was muggy and humid, and the brown smog that so often choked the city was thicker than ever. Wallace West wiped the back of his neck with his kerchief and checked his rolled up sleeves. He forced them up further passed his freckled elbows in the hopes it would help.
Damn, was it hot.
Wallace pondered his options for getting out of the heat and smog and bustle, finally pulling out his pocket watch and deciding that it was not too early for a drink(it was never too early or late for a drink). Taking stock of his location, he redirected his path towards the Wayne building.
The noise of cars honking and screeching in mid day traffic was deafening. Wallace waited until there was some semblance of safety on the street before starting across, almost immediately regretting it when he heard a screech and a female voice hurl an insult his way. He turned to see the car speed off in the direction of the Wayne building with its lone occupant's hair streaming out the window. He chuckled to himself at the angry dame and kept walking.
That girl had long hair for a flapper, he thought mildly.
Upon arrival at the Wayne building, Wallace noticed the car that had almost run him over parked by the door to the Cave. He saw Richard's enforcers wandering around the door area and knew that the place was already hopping.
Wallace checked his surroundings out of habit, a nervous tick developed by those who dared journey to speakeasies. It wouldn't do well for the business or one's health to be followed by the wrong people. Deciding that he was in the clear, he shoved his hands beneath his suspenders and strolled purposefully up to the short line of people waiting to get admittance.
"Next!" barked the bruno at the door. Wallace narrowed his eyes in intense dislike as he recognized the voice: Logan. He was a real sap, only let the most beautiful dames in and gave everyone else a hard time; in short, if he didn't deem you a doll, you might as well turn around and head home.
Logan's current victim was the young woman from the car; she was easily recognizable with that hair. The bruno was openly leering at her green sequined dress, no doubt picturing what was underneath it and the bandages. Wallace observed the woman, noticing Logan's eyes traveling over her hips and locking in on her chest.
"Well, well!" Logan slurred, and Wallace realized with a scowl that he was zozzled, to boot. "Look at the bubs on this kitten, Jaime!"
The man standing on the opposite side of the door was looking incredibly uncomfortable and apologetic to the dame being tortured. Wallace didn't blame him, he'd be ashamed of having to work alongside a rummy like Logan, too.
The dame scowled, clearly not liking being piped by the man. Wallace was about to go up to the enforcer and tell him to back down and that no woman would ever go with him, when the girl did his work for him. Her frown turned into a grin and she sauntered towards Logan, her hips swaying.
When she was close enough, she braced herself on his shoulders and forced her knee into his stomach.
"Lincoln's beard!" Logan wheezed out, his mouth dropping open in surprise and pain as the girl spun around his awkward retaliation and planted a solid punch on his jaw. This dropped the guy, knocking his green trilby off his head and into the girl's waiting hands. She flipped the hat onto her head, winked at Jaime, and walked into the Cave.
Wallace's mouth fell agape. Had his eyes deceived him, or had he just witnessed some bearcat of a dame playing a solid note of chin music on Logan the Bruno? He heard loud whistles of approval from some of the men that had come up behind him in the line, and couldn't help but agree with their sentiments.
"Ah, n-next," came Jaime's hesitant voice as he side-stepped over to Logan's previous position and allowed the next patron in with a nod from his head; Logan was being sick over in the corner, hunched down and heaving the contents of his alcohol filled belly all over the steaming asphalt. Wallace smirked.
It wasn't long before Wallace had been admitted into the hall beyond the first door. He knew his way around here well, what with being best pals with the owner and all. He straightened his gray fedora, making his way down a flight of steps and then another, until at long last he reached a long, dimly lit hallway with a door and another bruno guarding it. He grinned at this one, though, jogging the last few steps and greeting him cheerily.
"Well, if it isn't the big six himself!" he cried jovially, socking the man on the arm. The man, Conner, merely grunted in response, crossing his arms over his barrel-chest.
"What's the time?" he asked gruffly. Wallace deflated. What a wet blanket
"Always straight to the point..." he grumbled, pulling out his pocket watch and adjusting the time with the knob residing at the top. Once it read 10:47 p.m, he held it up to Conner's nose so that he had to cross his blue eyes to see it.
"You can go in..." the bruno relented, stepping aside.
Wallace slipped passed, sighing at all the trouble he had to go through just to get himself a cold cocktail on a hot summer's day. Sometimes he wondered if Conner was a bit of a palooka... he hardly ever spoke and when he did it was always so cut and dry. Didn't that cat know how to string a whole sentence together?
He shrugged it off, walking through the door into the bar. As soon as the door shut behind him, a hand clapped him on his back.
"Wally, bo, how you doin'?" Richard said.
Wally grinned and returned the sentiment to his best friend with a hearty handshake. "Good to see you again, Dick. It's been too long since I last set foot in Gotham."
The friends nodded in agreement. Wally followed Dick to the bar and smiled when the bartender placed his favorite drink in front of him. Wally tipped back the mint julep and downed the entire thing in one gulp, enjoying the cool burn as it traveled down his throat. The glass clinked on the granite bar as Wally surveyed the clientele of The Bat Cave, the most exclusive speakeasy in town. There was Conner's squeeze, Megan; Dick's dames, Zee and Babs; the smarty number that beat up Logan the Bruno; and the Big O and his canary.
"Would you care for another julep, Wallace?" Kaldur asked in his calm, even tones as he retrieved the redhead's glass and began wiping it down with a rag. Wally put him a tip on the counter and winked.
"Make it two, would ya', Kal?"
"Don't tell me you've already scoped out a doll?" Dick said, exasperated. He eyed his pal over the tops of his glinting cheaters. "I think that's record timing, you cake-eater!"
Wally grinned at him and shrugged his shoulders, pulling the fedora from his head and placing it on the bar stool he was standing in front of. He ran his fingers through his thick locks, giving his pal an impish wink.
"What can I say, bo, the dames come runnin'!" He punctuated this by tucking his thumbs beneath his suspenders and tugging them up a pinch. Dick rolled his eyes skyward.
"Look, just don't cause a ruckus and get thrown out again. I can't keep vouching for you to get back in here if you keep harassing the ladies."
Wally ignored his friend's warning, picking up both fresh juleps in each hand and taking a generous sip from one.
"Watch my fedora for me, Kaldur. That one's my favorite!" he said, before turning on his heel and striding over to where the woman in green was seated, the one who had socked Logan in the face out front. She hadn't been hard for him to spot; her darker skin and long blonde mane stuck out like a sore thumb in a place like this. He had to suppress a laugh at the sight of Logan's trilby perched lopsidedly on her cranium.
Wally walked up to the table that the girl was sitting at and set the two drinks down. The blonde looked up at the redhead with a questioning expression on her face, eyebrow raised. Wallace leaned on the back of the chair opposite the girl and smiled as delightfully as he could. He opened his mouth to talk to her, but she held up her hand, reaching for one of the drinks with the other. She knocked back the julep and grabbed the second one without missing a beat.
Wallace was at a loss for words, his eyebrows shooting up as the woman placed the second glass down on the table without a word. He eyed the empty receptacle that had moments ago contained his beverage before sitting back in his chair, straightening his tie and clearing his throat. (He had the sneaking suspicion that Dick was watching all this from the bar, and had probably had to excuse himself somewhere more private to laugh his silly head off.)
"So..." Wallace began, but was cut off by the girl.
"Thanks for the drink, bo," she said in a voice that startled him. It was high and husky, a far cry from the voices he was accustomed to hearing float passed the lips of beautiful dolls . "But if you're trying to get me back to yours, good luck."
Wallace's eyebrows shot up and his ears turned red. Sure, he'd had plenty of dames, but not one had called him out on being a cake-eater. That was Dick's job, and he took pleasure in it.
"No! That's not what I-" he stammered. The girl raised her eyebrow skeptically. Wallace sighed, "Look, that was pretty swell how you beat up Logan back there. He's a first rate sap."
The girl nodded, and motioned for Wallace to sit down. He did so in the chair opposite and introduced himself.
"I'm Wallace West, by the way. Or, you can call me Wally. Or The Wall-man."
The woman sniggered at the last name he had listed. When she opened her mouth to speak, a full out cackle streamed out of her mouth and she caught with her hand, though she did a poor job of stifling it. Wally's ears got even pinker at this show of derisive amusement and he sunk back into his chair.
Boy, Wallace, you sure can pick 'em. Dick's going to kick off from laughter when he hears about this babe.
Once the girl had recovered, she introduced herself.
"I'm Artemis Cr- Just Artemis. I have no nickname and if you ever even think of calling me 'Arty' I'll make damn well sure that you swing."
Wally gulped, making a mental note to never get on this girl's bad side. He knew that her threat was not idle; he had seen with his own two eyes what she did to Logan, a bird twice her size.
The two lapsed into a kind of uncomfortable silence, and Wally was wondering just where the hell he had gone so wrong with this woman, and why she had to be so difficult compared to his usual catch. What had he been thinking, hitting on a woman that had punched out a man and sashayed in like she owned the place? For some reason, the thought irritated him.
And if he was being honest he was sore at himself(and at her) for striking out with this dame before he'd even stepped up to bat. His ego had been wounded.
"You know, I've never seen you in here, before," he blurted, lifting one of his legs up to cross it over the other. "Where'd you get the password at? Not just anyone can get in here, you know."
Artemis bristled.
"I don't think that's any of your business, Wall-man."
"The hell it's not," he laughed wryly, eyes darting down to his parched cocktail glass and wishing she hadn't downed the thing for him. "I'm pals with the owner, he tells me about all the new cats and skirts that show up to this joint. So?"
She popped up from her seat, mouth open to give him a heated retort, but at that moment the lights in the establishment dimmed and a spotlight was trained on the little stage at the far end of the room. There, at the center and situated in front of a microphone, was Dick in a black suit, his cheaters winking and shining in the lights as he grinned out at everyone.
"Ladies and gents, bims and eggs! For your entertainment on this fine, blistering afternoon, for your viewing enjoyment, the lovely twists, Zatanna Zatara, Megan Morse, and Barbara "Babs" Gordon!"
The smattering of patrons clapped and cheered and whistled, some of the more drunken ones raising glasses high and slopping giggle water all down their fronts in the process. Dick excused himself from the limelight as Zatanna emerged on the stage, her sequins and tailcoat glittering fantastically to more cheers. Wally was a bit enamored; he loved the entertainment at The Bat Cave, it was always of the highest quality.
Wallace shot Artemis a pointed look in the dark, one that clearly conveyed he wasn't yet done interrogating her on her admittance to this ritzy and glamorous speakeasy. As much as he admired her exotic beauty and ability to kiss men that far outweighed her, he had never been fond of strange new people or places in his life.
As Dick was always saying, Wally sure had a knack for overreacting to the simplest of changes.
The spotlight shifted to the band and focused on Kaldur and his sax. Before he and the rest of the band started to play, Zatanna walked back through the curtain. Dick left the stage and the band started to play.
Zatanna reappeared, bursting out of the curtain with a flash. She opened her mouth and started to sing: "Good evening all you gentlemen, mobsters, creeps and crooks."
There was a rustle behind the curtain and another girl burst out, this one with red hair. Wally couldn't tell if it was Babs or Meg because of the lighting and elaborate masks that the redheads wore; it was usually duck soup to distinguish Megan's auburn locks from Bab's deeper red. As soon as she opened her mouth, however, Wally easily pegged the alto as Dick's squeeze.
"Men in suits come after you, and still you're off the hook."
Meg followed Babs onstage with her introducing line.
"For those who scare and terrorize, it's the dawn of a brand new day"
All three girls struck a pose, and sang the next line of the song together.
"You scum can simply call us, the one and only Birds of Prey."
Whistles and catcalls echoed throughout the drum.
Zatanna raised her right hand, fluttering her fingers.
"Hal Jordan has his special ring."
"Pretty strong that little thing," added Babs and Megan with a wink.
Megan gave the crowd a charming smile.
"Jaime's deeds are really swell." At this the doorman blushed bright red and Conner scowled in his general direction, the two of them having come in for a break from the heat.
Babs and Zatanna shared looks, placing their pointer fingers nears their mouths in mock curiosity.
"But who will bring him out of his shell?"
"Logan's beaus, they finish last" sang Zatanna.
"Too bad sometimes he's just too fast," added Babs with a snarky grin as the whole audience burst into raucous laughter; Wally in particular found this hilarious, and he thought he could hear the sound of Artemis' throaty chortles coming from somewhere to his left, mixing in with his hearty guffaws.
The girls came together again and waltzed around the stage.
"While all the boys can always save the day. No one does it better than the Birds of Prey. The one and only Birds of Prey." They turned to face the crowd, rolling their shoulders to the beat as they continued the chorus. "While all the boys can always save the day. No one does it better than the Birds of Prey. The one and only Birds of Prey."
"Get hot!" came the loud, hiccuping cry of a hoary-eyed man at the very back of the room. Everyone laughed, even the girls on stage who had trouble stifling brief, light giggles at the encouragement to dance more.
Zatanna sauntered back over to the microphone and started the second verse of the song.
"The Big O's got heroic traits, that is when he's drilling straight," she proclaimed.
There was a booming howl of laughter from one of the tables closest to the stage when the businessman in question heard that particular line in the song. His girl, Dinah, stood up and shouted at Zatanna in good humor. "Hey!"
"I'm just sayin'!" Zatanna responded. This elicited another laugh from the crowd. Wally was sure that he heard Artemis snorting louder than the rest of the room.
Meg mosied forward again, singing the next line, closely followed by Babs, their voices complementing and working off each other well as they trilled up through the walls of the speakeasy.
"Arthur Curry's always courageous"
"His little fish, less outrageous"
Meg pushed her counterparts aside and spread her arms wide, heedless of the fact that her lime green cloche hat was in danger of falling off; the other two girls joining her after her line.
"Eel O'Brian can expand!"
"Becomes putty in our hands"
The girls formed a line again as they swung back into the chorus.
"While all the boys can keep you punks at bay, no one does it better than the Birds of Prey. The one and only Birds of Prey!
They repeated the line and each took a turn to wink at Dick behind the bar. Being the cat he was, he took it upon himself to push his cheaters down and wink right back(Wallace was going to have to remember to call Dick out on his antics tonight the next time he threw around the term "cake-eater" at him). Zatanna blew him a kiss and continued the song with a line that would have made a lesser man blush.
"Grayson runs this bar, sure thing. I've seen his weapons, what a thing."
Babs followed her up with a kiss to Dick and a glare in the dark haired girl's direction, one that went largely unnoticed in the intoxicated atmosphere. Wally was among those that caught it, though, and he rolled his eyes toward the ceiling, chuckling. Dick and his dame problems.
"Check out that utility belt, sure can make a girl's heart melt. He's always right here for the save, I like it here in his secret cave!"
All three girls formed a line for the last time and started to kick along to the last chorus of the song.
"While Dicky does things in his special way, he'd do it better with the Birds of Prey. The one and only Birds of Prey.
"While Grayson always seems to save the day, no one does it better, no one does it better than the Birds of Prey... Birds of Prey... YEAH!"
The canaries finished up the song with a bang and a flash of smoke. They disappeared back into the curtain to thunderous applause and booze spraying into the air, courtesy of a couple of boozehounds who'd tipped a few too many for the afternoon.
Wally was in high spirits, clapping and cheering along with everyone else, perhaps wishing his cheeks were a little more flushed from the cocktail he never got to drink. But nonetheless, he swiveled around in his seat, unable to wipe the massive grin from his face as he turned to say something to Artemis; he wasn't even sure what. Perhaps to get back to his interrogation of her, or to see her face light up as she laughed along with him.
But her seat was empty.
The young man's face fell, taking in the sight of the empty cocktail glasses still sitting where she'd left them, and the indentation on the soft seat where her rump had rested moments before.
Where'd she go? he thought, exasperated. He'd heard her laughter emanating from the spot mere seconds ago! That is one slippery dame...
Scowling, the redhead pulled himself to his feet, intent on marching over to the bar, retrieving his fedora, and complaining about the sorts of crazy broads Dick was starting to let into a fine juice joint like the Cave.
But something stopped him, as the lights came back on and everything became illuminated.
It was the sight of Artemis.
Artemis and Dick, whispering intently behind the counter of the bar, Kaldur leaning in and listening steadily as he went through the nearly robotic motions of cleaning the inside of a smudged glass. Dick's brows were furrowed deeply, and Artemis' movements had become more animated, more urgent, her lips informing Wally that she was talking very fast.
Wallace's eyes narrowed.
Dick was looking gravely serious, his face growing stony as he listened further to the exasperated woman. It was an expression Wally knew his best friend rarely pulled.
Obviously this Artemis chick had more than a spine of steel.
Oh. He was definitely going to figure this out.
o.o.o.o
Vocab used:
dame- a woman
doll- a cute woman
flapper- a woman in a short dress
bruno- bouncer
sap- a dumb guy
zozzled- drunk
bubs- boobs
kitten- woman
rummy- a drunken bum
pipe- see or notice
bearcat- a hot-blooded or fiery girl
chin music- punch on the jaw
big six- strong man
palooka- man, probably a little stupid
cat- man
bo- pal, buster, fellow
squeeze- girlfriend
smarty- a cute flapper
canary- woman singer
cheaters- sunglasses
cake-eater- a lady's man
swing- hang
bird- man
kick off- die
bim- woman
egg- man
twist- woman
giggle water- booze
kiss- to punch
duck soup- easy, a piece of cake
drum- speakeasy
hoary-eyed- drunk
Get hot!- encouragement for a hot dancer doing his or her thing
drilling- shooting
boozehound- drunkard
tip a few- to have a few drinks
broad- woman
juice joint- speakeasy