Disclaimer: All that normal junk
Smarter Than You
"I'm smarter than you!"
"Just because I got one question wrong, and that happens to be the questions you got right, does not make you smarter than me.""
"You're just jealous Moony." Sirius replied, sticking out his tounge.
Moony sighed, trying to grab his test away from Sirius. It was a potions test so he obviously had a dismal mark, but Sirius was making a huge deal out of nothing. He had only done one point better then him! "May I please have my test back?"
"No. I'm going to charm it to say 'Sirius is smarter than Remus'. Then after I'm done that, you can have it back." Sirius replied, folding it up (much to Remus's dismay) and putting it in his pocket.
"You did that on purpose." Remus muttered darkly.
Sirius smiled the smile that said; Yes I did. Want to do something about it?
"No. I don't want to do something about it Sirius." Remus said, opening a book and getting out his parchment and ink.
"Hey James I'm smarter than Moony!" Sirius called across the common room.
James didn't actually reply. Remus turned around and saw James holding a thumbs up sign while groping someone's ass, he saw a flicker of auburn hair. "James and Lily are back together." He said, turning back to his work.
"That still doesn't change the fact that I'm smarter then you." Sirius says, tapping his wand against Remus's paper. "Okay, it should work now." He sits up a little bit straighter, tapping his wand against the test again. "Test, test, on the table who is the smartest at this table?"
A small mouth at the top of Remus's paper, and out of it produced a squeaky voice, "Sirius even though you scored higher, Remus is the one who is smarter." As if seeing Sirius stricken face, even though this is not possible for Sirius did not give it eyes, it added quickly, "You asked who was the smartest boss. You didn't say anything about deeming that the smartest be you." Then the mouth disappeared.
Remus started laughing extremely hard, having a hard time breathing. "That back fired." Sirius muttered, scratching at his ear in an annoyed way. Remus tried to stop laughing, but failed, which only made him laugh harder. "Bugger off Remus."
"I'm sorry Sirius, but, it, you-" Remus burst out laughing again. This had nevered happened to Remus, Remus never ever stumbled over words. Then again his potions test which he had failed dismally had never told him he was the smartest at the table.
Sirius glowered, staring at the paper like he wished he could burn holes in the paper. "I'm going up to bed." He pouted, walking off. He left his books on the table, but Remus noticed that his potions test was still missing.
"I'm not going to be getting any sleep tonight." He muttered. Not because he would be studying, like he had planned, but because Sirius had a way of being an stubborn ass.
At around midnight Remus was still studying. In a corner in the common room he sat, leafing through books, and jotting down notes, and trying not to nod off. It was at this time that a rather horny James, and a rather un-lady like Lily, came crashing through the portrait hole hands and mouths and everything all over each other. It was at this point that Remus decided to continue to study in the dorm.
He tried to be silent as he crept in seeing as most sane people were asleep at the moment, not sneaking away from the horny teenagers to study. He tried being silent but then felt something thrown at him, and knew he had not succeeded. "Ugh!" Remus yelped, almost falling over by the fact that he had been caught off guard.
He heard snickering, and realized that Sirius had never been asleep, but was obviously in a better mood. "Hola Moony."
Remus had already decided that studying with Sirius chucking things at him would be extremely hard and dropped his books on his bed. Walking across the short space between them he fell on Sirius's bed unceremoniously. "Bonne nuit." He said with a yawn.
"No not good night." Sirius replied, jumping up and down in his spot to jar Remus from his comfortable position. Remus swears that even when Sirius is moving the bed it is still more comfortable then his. "You have to help me."
Remus rested his head against one of the bed posts, which was the only way he could stay awake at this hour. "What do I have to help you with?"
"With the test."
Remus did not comprehend what his friend was talking about. It was to late to actually remember talking tests. "You can't cheat off me."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Your test you dumb ass."
"My wha'?" Remus asked. Then Sirius held up his potions test, "Oh."
"Your slow when your tired old chap." Sirius patted Remus's leg the way someone would pat a dog who had just brought the newspaper up to there door step.
"I'm a were wolf not a dog." Remus yawned tiredly.
Sirius laughed, "Not so loud mate, people might hear you."
"Bugger this I'm going to bed." Remus replied, standing up and walking the couple feet to his not-quite-as-comfortable-as-Sirius's-bed-but-it'll-do bed.
"No Moony you can't go." Sirius moaned.
Remus turned back towards him. "Yes I can." Sirius, in what some would call a desperate manner, grabbed one of his arms and pulling Remus back towards him.
If this were anyone else, Remus would have just hit his knees against the side of Sirius's bed. This of course was Sirius, who thinks that the floor is the proper place for anything that belongs on shelves. So of course Remus landed on top of Sirius's stomach, almost hitting his head on the other side of Sirius's bed. "Remus while you have a fantastic arse, your weight is starting to hurt my stomach." Sirius said jokingly.
So Remus tried to get up, really he did, but the fact of the matter was he couldn't grab a hold of anything to help him up. "Uh, Sirius, could you help me?" Remus asked, finding it rather hard to talk when all of the blood was rushing to his head.
"Course I can." Sirius said, grabbing one of his arms. Sirius pulled him up, and Remus somehow ended up on top of him. Really on top of him.
"Uh, Hi." Remus said nervously.
Then Sirius kissed him.
It wasn't quite like anything Remus had experienced before. He'd kissed a few girls, of course- Merlin knew not nearly as many as Sirius had, or even James, but he'd locked lips with a respectable number of Evelyns and Millicents in his time.
This was nothing like that. That was soft and tentative and, though moderately pleasant, purely clinical. This was rough and exhilarating. It was possessive and heady. Remus's mouth felt slimy and he was cramped and he thought a bruise might be forming where Sirius's elbow was digging into his stomach. This kiss was messy and scratchy and uncomfortable and smelled of boy.
It was, by and large, the most wonderful sensation he'd ever felt.
Sirius's hands knew exactly where to go, and it felt so right, one arm around Remus's waist and the other cupping his face tenderly, that Remus never wanted him to let go.
Like all good things though, it did end.
When Sirius's lips let go of his own Remus moaned at lack of contact, then blushed a deep, deep shade of crimson. "How did you get on top of me?" Remus asked, immediately feeling stupid for asking something so trivial.
"I'm just that good." Sirius replied, bending down to kiss his neck. Remus moaned again, even though he had tried to stop it from surfacing. "I planned this you know. To prove I was smarter then you."
"Oh." Remus moaned, not really sure himself if it the oh was from pleasure or the fact that his brain was slowly turning to mush.
"So say it. Say I'm smarter then you." Sirius said. He moved his head so that it was looming mere inches above Remus's. "I'll kiss you again."
"Your smarter than me." Remus said all to quickly. Then they both got what they wanted.
Thanks to LoverFaery for the kissing scene. I really am horrible at those.