His Expression
When I first met the boy, I wasn't particularly happy about our arrangement.
I already had a lot of trouble with my work affairs and raising Nanako at the same time, and I knew that I did a poor job at the latter one.
So when my sister asked me to look after my Nephew for a year, I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to accept…
But he was old enough to take care of himself, even if teenagers could be a bit troublesome at times, and I couldn't refuse to help my sister, either.
So when he stood at inabas train station, a young, handsome man I barely recognized as the baby I held so many years ago, I didn't even dream for us to become as close as family, less alone anything else.
The boy was intelligent, I grasped.
My sister told me that his grades were nothing to worry about, but I never would've expected them to be so… outstanding.
It relieved me, because there went tiring speeches about working hard to achieve a good future, and it made me proud, because my nephew, who just transferred here, was already at the top of the class.
He was surprisingly modest when confronted with his achievement, and it made me wonder if he really was that humble, or if he was making fun of his classmates.
That wasn't the case, I quickly learned.
Souji was a charming boy. I've heard gossip from some housewives, muttering that their daughters were head over heels for him, and the kid made tons of friends in a short amount of time.
I myself wasn't entirely unaffected either, because who could hate someone whose smile eased all of your worries, and was perfectly gentle and understanding, and he wouldn't just go to his room as fast as he could when I came home with a sour mood because I've worked until 8 in the afternoon with barely enough time to finish a bento that Souji had prepared for me the day before.
Even Nanako would avoid me at particularly moody days, days I wished I had Chisato back with me, her warm embrace that soothed my overworked mind and body, waiting for me to come home after work at midnight, patiently, lovingly – a "welcome back" brought an immediate smile on my lips – and…
I found myself, more and more, wishing for someone to lean on, someone I could talk to equally and confide my worries in.
It was his expression…
A careful smile, gentle, not to forward – catching me off guard and driving out my most inner thoughts, the same way my beloved could, and before I knew it , I found myself telling souji, telling my Nephew, all of my secrets, while thinking of how nice it was, a partner, a mate…
My Nephew was smiling at me, understanding, caring, a gentle expression full of love, and I've seen it before, directed at Nanako, of whom he takes care of so well, almost like a mother…
And I was smiling back, trying to hide my pain, because it was my Nephew, and I was so twisted, so lonely…
"I fell in love with you."
It was the one thing I wanted to say the most, and it was the one thing I'd never be able to tell him, and he was leaving, the year has passed in the blink of an eye, and his friends were crying, telling him to stay, and he smiled at them, that smile, and they returned it as he stepped into the train to return to his parents.
And I wondered if it hadn't been better to just never have met at all, still mourning and searching about clues for my dead wife, instead of feeling sick and wrong and desiring him, seemingly in reach, but still so, so far away.
Hey, everyone!
I wrote this story as a livejournal meme fill –
It's only a microfill though…. I hope you like it anyways! Feel free to REVIEW!