I do not own Harry Potter

Here I am once again. Alone.

I never thought I would ever do this again. Who would? Who would ever think that they would have to lose their best friends twice. Only this time we all know it's permanent. You won't come back this time. I guess it's ironic that it should happen this way. This time instead of everyone thinking that Peter died and you were a deatheater everyone knows you are gone and Peter is the traitor.

I've never been a big fan of the Ministry of Magic. I always thought they treated people who are different wrongly, but now I absolutely hate them. If they had just listened to us none of this would have happened. You would still be here and you would be free. But no. It took endangering the lives of children and your death to make them see. I've never been one to believe that life was fair, but this is just wrong. Innocent people should not have to die.

It's been a few months since you died and there are so many people I've been angry at. Bellatrix for sending you through the veil. Peter for betraying us all. Kreacher for lieing to Harry. Voldemort for tricking Harry. Dumbledore for not telling Harry everything. Harry for going to the Ministry ( this one didn't last and I felt horribly guilty afterwards). You for insisting on going. But mostly me for not stopping you.

I can almost hear you saying "Moony, for Merlin's sake just relax."

That's what you always used to say to me when I started to think to much about something and blamed myself for it. Now though noone's here to tell me to relax so I'll just have to pretend.

I remember a conversation we had once not long after you came to number 12. We talked about how we were the last Marauders left, and you said something that I never quite understood. You told me our deaths were backwards, and now when I look back at everything I see how right you really were.

James was the first to go at only twenty-one. He should have been the last one standing not me. He always had more to live for than the rest of us. He had great parents and then Lily. Then he had a son, Harry. James was supposed to raise Harry and have more kids with Lily and grow old with her and have tons of grandchildren. But he never got the chance, and Harry will never know how great and wonderful his parents really were. The one comfort I have is that Harry is so much like his father not just in the way he looks but in the person he is. James was one of the best friends a person could ever have and he passed that trait on to his son. Thanks to Harry, James will never truely be gone.

The next to go, at least in my eyes, was Peter. None of us really expected anything great from him and sometimes I think that was the problem. He was always stuck in our shadows. Even after everything that has happened I still don't know how that shy, scared boy who almost worshipped you and James could become this traitorous deatheater he is now. I know that I have every reason to hate that man, but I can't help but think of the trembling boy who was my close friend.

Then you had to leave me again. We all knew you would you'd have some heroic death because that's just who you were. I knew you would die young too because a person like you just didn't have it in them to grow old. You didn't know how. Even after you were in azkaban you were still that wild boy from Hogwarts. When I watched you fall I saw you smile and I knew that was what you wanted. It was the perfect way to die in your eyes. Heroic, loyal, brave, forever young, and with a smile on your face. You died the same way you lived.

Now with all of you gone, I am left. It wasn't supposed to be this way. I had always been sure that I would die earlier than the rest of you because I was a werewolf. I think that's what we all thought at least in the back of our minds. I was perfectly fine with that and accepted it. I was not prepared to watch all of you go first, but I did it. We all thought that I'd be first, then you, then Peter, and lastly James when he's old and grey. Then again we're the Marauders. When have we ever followed the rules?

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.
Pranksters, Gryffindors, friends, brothers.

That's what we were and that's what we'll always be.

A/N - thanks so much for reading please review