A/N: This idea isn't exactly mine. I found a discussion about "which brother would Leonardo save if he could only pick one" on the turtlecest community on LiveJournal, and I was hit with an idea so strong, I couldn't help but write it. I've honestly never seen another fanfiction with this theme before, and I hope I haven't stolen anything from anyone. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy.
I don't own TMNT or any affiliated characters, etc.
Lullaby
The five words, spoken without emotion save an unyielding cruelty, shattered any hope Leo might have held in his shaking grasp.
"You may only save one."
One. One brother. One of three.
Leo felt a sudden surge of bile fill his throat, and he was left, gasping, on his hands and knees before his enemy. Head bowed and posture completely submissive. In the face his enemy. But there was no unsheathing of a sword. No cry of victory and no pain. No dishonorable killings. Not yet. Karai wanted him to suffer in the worst way. In the way she claimed he had made her suffer: by killing those he held dear. Only she wanted more. She wanted revenge. She wanted him to pick one life. One brother. One of three.
"The clock is ticking, Leonardo. You may not leave and think of your options. You must act quickly. Which brother will you save? And if you still harbor ridiculous thoughts of saving all three, you are mistaken. If you attack me, all three will die. There are cameras in this room, Leonardo, and if there is any disturbance, you will not be leaving with a loved one." Karai's tone was cold and cruel, yet Leo could hear a thin veil of pain beneath it, and for a wild moment, he felt sorry for her. But it was lost in a sea of hate and rage. Of despair.
Without thinking, Leo moved himself into a low bow, legs tucked in and hands pressed out in front of him on the floor. It pained his soul to expose himself to her like he was. To give her a bow of respect and submission when she deserved anything but. But he was desperate. Desperate and in pain beyond anything he'd ever felt.
"Please, Karai," he begged, voice raspy from tears and bile, "Please. Take my life instead. You know they don't deserve this."
"Oh, but they do, Leonardo." A metal boot was pressed onto his tucked chin until he lifted it, and Karai used her foot to tilt his head back. She reached down and tugged the mask off of his face, to expose it fully to her scrutiny. Neither paid any mind to the way her borrowed claw cut at him. Karai wore such a look of hatred. Of smugness.
"Your brothers are as guilty as you. I believe I am being merciful. I am allowing two of you to live, am I not?"
"Please, Karai…" But she laughed at him. Pulled her foot away roughly, and then used it to crush his face into the ground.
"How the mighty have fallen! To bow before me: who you say has no honor. What does that say about you, I wonder, Leonardo?" She pushed him down again, and he gritted his teeth in pain, but when he offered her no prize: no sound of pain, she pulled away with a noise of frustration.
"You try my patience! You must chose, or I shall have them all destroyed!" Leo picked his head up enough to see her turn back to face him with a whirl, having stepped away from him to, he guessed, keep herself from harming him further. The look on her face did nothing to stop the cold hand of dread as it worked its way under his shell.
"I wonder which brother you favor, Leonardo. I have always wondered. About all of you. You would give your life for any one of them, I am sure. But if only one could be saved, which would you pick? I suppose I am to find out the answer to this question soon enough, correct? You would not allow all three to die." Her lips were upturned in a bitter smile. "Would you, Leonardo?"
Of course he couldn't. Not when he could save one. But which would he save? Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo. None of them deserved such a cruel fate like the one Karai promised. None of them deserved to have their lives judged like Leonardo was now forced to do: to have someone else decide their fate. To have a brother choose but one. One of three. And yet there Leonardo was: judging the worth of three lives. The three lives most precious to him.
Raphael…no. Leonardo would not save Raphael. He would be, Leonardo discovered with a start, Leo's last choice. The knowledge alone, and how quickly it came to him, unnerved Leo to the point where bile surged in his mouth again, and this time, it rushed forth, unbidden, to the ground. Karai scoffed at him.
"Have you made your decision, Leonardo? The clock is still ticking."
Leonardo shook his head. Went back to thinking. Why not Raphael? Leo knew, without a doubt, Raphael would rather die before any of his brothers. Leonardo was the same way. But, he was sure Donnie and Mikey felt likewise. So why was Raphael special? Maybe because Leo knew that Raph would react violently. Leo knew Raph would fight him, tooth and nail, and then rush off to avenge the deaths of his brothers alone. Leo knew Raph would die in spirit. Knew Raph would fight until he died in body as well. Leonardo knew Raphael would hate him. For a wild moment, he considered Raphael for that reason only. Leo wasn't sure he wanted to be forgiven for the terrible act he would be forced to commit. Leo almost wanted Raphael around just so he would curse at Leo. Just so that he would not let Leo forget. But he knew he would not choose Raphael. So he kept thinking.
Donatello was always the brains of the operation. Donatello always had a plan. Donatello was the one who took care of them when they were sick or hurt. Donatello was the one they went to for comfort when Splinter was not there. Donatello was the logical choice. Donatello was kind. He was caring. A thinker.
But what about Michelangelo? What did Mikey contribute to the family? He was childish. He was the thought-to-be youngest: had yet to lose the last of his carefree attitude and innocence. He was fun. He made them laugh. When someone was upset, he was always there with a bad joke and a grin. Michelangelo was fun. He was sympathetic. A natural jokester. And, self-declared, Leo's youngest brother. He was not the most logical choice. But Leo's heart ached at the thought of letting him die. How could he choose Donatello over Michelangelo? How could he choose Michelangelo over Donatello? How could he push Raphael from his mind? Stop considering him?
More bile joined the growing puddle on the floor.
Not Raph. But then who? The answer, he thought with a choked sob, should have been much harder to form. It should have taken him far longer to decide. He should not have been able to make the decision at all. But he did.
Leo picked his head up, used shaking arms to push himself to wobbly knees, to unsteady feet. Then he wiped the bile off his lips. The tears off of his face.
"Have you finally come to your decision, Leonardo-san? You are nearly out of time. My patience can only be stretched so thin."
"Yes," Leo replied; his voice weak and cracked, but his face a strong mask.
"So which is it? Which brother do you favor most? Which will leave with you? And which two will die?" Karai meet his gaze evenly, and it took all Leo had not to look away. Not to curl in on himself and cry. Not to unsheathe his sword and plunge it into her blackened heart.
"Donatello," he whispered, more to himself than to the girl—the woman—the demon staring so intently and maliciously at him, "I'm sorry."
"What was that, Leonardo?" She pressed him. Backed him into a corner.
"Michelangelo," he said louder, hands griped into fists. "Michelangelo."
Karai held his gaze. Filled him with the deepest of shame. Then she reached, slowly, to her ear, and pressed something.
"Allow the orange one: Michelangelo, to leave. Kill the other two." Leonardo bowed his head in shame. But Karai was not finished with her torture.
"And," she continued, "be sure they know that it was Leonardo's decision." Then she pressed the button again, and let her arm fall to her side.
And so, the finale began.
"I hope you enjoy my little surprise, Leonardo," he heard Karai speak from the doorway. Then she was gone, and he was left alone with his thoughts. That, and sudden voices, drifting from speakers somewhere to his right.
"I wonder when Leo's gonna come for us."
Leonardo froze.
"Dunno, Mikey. Fearless Leader'll show up at tha' nick 'a time, like usual. Bastard always was one fer flashy entrances."
No.
"He needs a solid plan before he tries anything."
Mikey, Raph, Donnie. Suddenly, there was the sound of a creaking door, and then cold voices joined that of his brothers'.
"Oh, your brother came for ya' alright." Leonardo wondered if that human had any brothers.
"But he's only allowed to save one of ya'." If so, Leonardo wondered if any of them were little brothers.
"I wonder which one he picked." Leonardo decided that, no. That human had no brothers.
"C'mon," another voice said, "Just get him and let's go." Maybe that one had siblings.
"You got a lotta nerve!" That was Raph, "Ya' think we're scared 'a you? Ya' think yer so powerful? I could best ya' with a hand tied behind my back!"
The sickening sound of a charging gun rose through the speakers.
"Raph!" There was Donnie. "Just calm down, bro, okay?"
One of the humans sneered, and Leo could hear the loud echoes of metal-on-metal. Probably to get their attention.
"Which one of you is Michelangelo?" Leo didn't want to listen anymore.
"I am." That was Mikey, sounding so much younger than usual. Leo heard Raph growl, threateningly.
"Well, come on, freak. Big Brother decided you were worth more than the other two." There were the muffled sounds of movement, and then Mikey's terrified call of "Donnie, Raph! Let me go! Stop it! Donnie! Raph! Wait! Please!" It got less and less distinguishable, as if he was being pulled away from the microphone. He heard Raph and Don each call out to their brother with similar emotion in their voices. Then Leo heard a cruel laugh.
"Have fun, you two. Might want to say good-bye to each other, while you have the chance." The sound of a closing door echoed loudly, and then all was silent, for a moment or two.
"Damnit!" The sound of flesh meeting something hard. Raph.
"Raph…" A soft sigh. Don.
"That fuckin' bitch! Only lettin' one go. I…I!"
"I know, Raph. I know…"
The sound of a shell hitting a wall. Sliding down against it.
"At least it was Mikey, right?" Don sounded small, but relieved. "At least Leo picked Mikey…" There was a pause.
"They're gonna kill us, aren't they, Raphie?"
There was the sound of a choked sob. Muffled. Slightly hysterical. Leo figured Raph replied without words.
"C'mere…" Raph sounded so much gentler than normal. It tore at Leo's heart. He thought he could hear the sound of Don moving closer, but he wasn't sure. "Talk about somethin', Donnie? About one 'a them inventions you've been goin' on 'bout lately?"
When Don spoke, it was muffled, and Leo could just see what they must have looked like: Raph with an arm around Don's shoulders. Don with his face pressed against Raph's shoulder. Maybe his plastron.
"I was planning on upgrading the Shell Cycle."
"Yea?"
"Yeah. You know. Make it lighter to allow it to go faster. And I found a cheap place that sells parts. I was gonna get Casey to help me buy some new rear brakes. And I wanted to change the generator. But I was afraid you might get banged up. Lighter means less durable."
Raph hmm'd in reply. "I like ta' go fast."
"I know." Don was choked up again, and Leo could swear he heard a bit of crying. Raph shh'd him for a while, but he eventually faded out, and left Don to cry silently.
"I hope Leo's okay," he heard Don murmur with a strained voice. "I hope Karai doesn't go back on her word. That she leaves Mikey and Leo alone. I…I hope a lot of things. B-but I guess it's pretty useless. We might live, right? They…they never said we would die. Just implied it. Right?" Raph didn't reply. So Donnie kept talking.
"I was thinking. M-maybe you need a whole new ignition system. Or maybe I can replace everything. Buy all new parts. It'll…it'll still be red, of course. But…all new. Improved. Casey'll be jealous, don't you think? I'll make it the best it can be. Better…" he choked, "better than any of those name-brand bikes. Better than a Harley…or…or a Yamaha." Raph didn't reply.
"But then Mikey'll be jealous. So I'll need to trick out his board. I wonder how he'll like a hover board. I think I could do it. If I jus' spend a little time…" Raph offered no comments. So Don pressed on.
"Leo…Leo won't get jealous. But I'll need something…something for him, t-too. I'd f-feel bad if I didn't do something for Leo. 'Cause Leo does so much for us, doesn't he? He…he does so much…" Leo was crying into his knees, drawn up to his chest.
"D'you know what he'd like, Raph? You fight…a-a lot. But you guys know each other, yeah?" Raph didn't reply. Don took in a deep, shuddering breath. Choked. On his tears?
"I can't see very well…" he heard Don murmur slightly sluggishly. "I wonder when they turned out the lights. I haven't been paying much a-attention…" Leo's heart clenched painfully. "And I must be hyperventilating. 'M too nervous. Can't breathe so well. But I'll talk. I thought you hated when I talked too much, Raphie. But you haven't stopped me yet, so…I guess it's okay."
Realization was a taught coil in Leo's gut. Idly, he wondered why Mikey wasn't there yet. But he was glad Mike wouldn't have to hear their last moments. Don's last moments. Leo thought Raph was already dead. And for a second, he was angry. He hadn't stayed alive to make sure Donnie would be okay.
They were probably being gassed. Leo was reminded of World War Two. Hitler. The Nazis. Gas chambers. Pain. Death. Destruction. It was long over with. But Leo's World War was still agonizingly afoot.
It filled Leo's heart with unyielding pain to imagine Raph gone. Death by some lethal gas. He went out quietly. Without a fight. Without a loud yell of rage. Without blood. Without gnashing teeth. Without promising pain. Without showing any of his passion to his enemy. Death by such dishonorable means. Raph deserved so much more. Raph deserved to live, forever, as a passionate, wild being who took down as many as he could before falling to his knees. Deserved to take the life of the one that took his before he hit the ground. Deserved so much.
"Raph…" Donnie's weak voice pained Leo. "Raphie…" The knowledge that Donnie was talking to a dead body brought more bile to his throat, and he retched it up on the floor with the rest. And while he was doing so, he almost missed Don's next words.
"Raphie…d'you remember? That…that lullaby that Splinter used to sing to us? We were small. But I always liked it." Raphael didn't reply. Couldn't reply.
"Raphie…can you sing it? Please?"
Donatello didn't deserve this death. Why couldn't it have been Leo? Leo and Raph. Leo and Raph were destructive. Leo and Raph brought pain. Leo and Raph argued. They were harsh about the edges. Battle worn. Chose to use weapons made of steel. Weapons to cause pain. To bring death.
But Donnie. Donnie and Mikey were gentle in comparison. They didn't like to fight like Leo and Raph did. They preferred peace. Chose to use weapons of wood. They brought life into the lair: Mikey with his smiles and Donnie with his brilliant mind. Donnie and Mikey were creators. They were inventors. They were life-givers. Leo and Raph were death-bringers.
Why did gentle Donnie have to die? Caring, smart, gentle Donnie. Raph, Leo finally understood, wasn't on his list of Brothers-To-Save because Leo knew then that Raph had known all along what he was just now piecing together. Donatello and Michelangelo were destined to leave a mark on the world. They were the ones that would grow up to have their names known. Donnie for his inventions. Mikey for his stories. Raph and Leo? They'd fade away eventually. But not Donnie and Mikey. Well, Leo thought with a sickening jolt, not Mikey, anyway. Donnie was going to die. Donnie was dying. Donnie wouldn't leave that mark as he ought to.
Leonardo's heart broke.
"Raphie…? Please…sing for me."
Taking a deep breath, Leo steeled his nerves. Forced tears from his eyes. And sang.
"Mori no fukuro ga iimashita
watashi wa mori no mihari yaku
kowai okami, kitsune nado
kosasenai kara ne ne shina
gorosuke ho ho
gorosuke ho"
When he was done, Leo noticed with a start how quiet Donnie was. He feared, for a wild moment, that he had died while Leo had been singing. That Leo had not heard his last breath. But he was mistaken.
"Thank you…" Don's voice was tiny, and weak. But grateful. Peaceful. Leo heard him inhale shakily. "Leo…"
Exhale.
A/N: The song is called "Mori no Fukuro". Follow the link below to hear it. And, of course, remember to remove spaces. There is also an orchestral piece based off of this lullaby entitled, oh-so originally... "Japanese Lullaby" by Keiko Yamada. It's a gorgeous piece, and worth a listen.
http : / / kblincoln . com / miabb / jpllmori . html