Diclaimer: I don't own the characters or the series. Kubo Tite does. I'm just playing with them for a bit.

WARNING: HET. Yup. You read that right.

Also, I'm vaguely aware that Bleach fandom sometimes makes shipping SRS BZNZ. This fic is going to contain several unusual and unlikely pairings, not the least of which is the main pairing. So, if you find anything outside IchiRukia/IchiHime (whichever you prefer) offensive, DO NOT READ and DO NOT COMMENT.

A/N: Going with the general theme of the fic, the chapter headings are Finnish words related to winter weather, each translated in their respective chapter. Diverges from canon after the Aizen arc.

Note that this is also being posted on my livejournal, Lumelle; the LJ version occasionally involves illustrations.

The title means "sub-zero temperature".

Chapter 1

Pakkanen

"This is just insufferable." Hitsugaya's steps were quick as he marched down the hallway, his brow caught in its usual perpetual frown. "What, am I that unreliable?"

"Now, now, Captain Hitsugaya," Kyouraku chuckled, adjusting his hat a bit even as he easily kept up with the much younger captain. Hitsugaya had grown a lot since his first days as the captain of the tenth squad, it really warmed the heart to see a young man thus getting stronger, but Kyouraku was still taller, his easy strides an easy match to Hitsugaya's angry steps. "I'm sure it wasn't meant like that."

"You know damn well what he meant," Hitsugaya snapped. "Sure, sure, Hollow activity in Rukongai. Why was I even summoned in the first place?" His arms hidden inside his sleeves, crossed over his chest, he appeared to be trying to close everything out of his mind. "None of my squad's districts had been targeted. By all rights, I should have been excluded from the meeting."

"Well, I thought the old man made it rather clear." Though he had to admit the tone could have been better. "There's been ice-type reiatsu connected to the attacks, so he thought you'd maybe know something about it."

"Exactly. He thought it was my doing," Hitsugaya spat. "And don't even try to disagree! I have known that man long enough to know his tones. And if he perhaps didn't think so, the others in the room certainly did. Unohana seemed to be just about this close to asking me why I'd want to wreck the poor defenceless people's homes and let Hollows eat them for breakfast."

"I'm sure she wouldn't think that of you." Though she could certainly be scary sometimes. "The old man Genryuusai knows you better than that, too. He just wants you to investigate because it's your specialty."

"Oh, please." Hitsugaya scoffed. "I'm not an absolute idiot, you know. The excuse might have sounded nice enough, but I'd have to be a total fool to believe it." He shook his head, a few strands falling over his shoulder. He'd started growing out his hair a century or so ago when someone had mentioned the spikes made him look childish. Though still far from Ukitake's lovely long hair, the white locks did fall well past his shoulders now, soft and fine. Kyouraku was almost tempted to touch them, but he was rather attached to his hand.

"Well, what other plan of action would you offer?" Kyouraku asked, suppressing a sigh. For all that he could be calm and collected, even cold at times, sometimes Hitsugaya just seemed to... flare. And it did appear he was well overdue for another explosion. With some luck Kyouraku wouldn't have to be anywhere near when that happened... but then he was rarely quite that lucky.

"Easy. Go in there and destroy whatever keeps sending those Hollows." Hitsugaya clicked his tongue. "I'm the worst choice for such a mission and he knows it. If whatever's causing the attacks has ice-type reiatsu, I won't have as much advantage as I would have over other types. The only way it makes any sense to send off an uninvolved captain of all people is if they suspect I might actually have something to do with it."

"Well... your zanpakutou is the strongest ice type in all of Soul Society, after all," Kyouraku mused. He had to admit the kid had a point, but that didn't mean he was just going to downright agree there might be any such suspicions going around. "So when there's strange new reiatsu around..."

"Strange reiatsu or not, it should not make sense to just accuse me of sending Hollows after innocent people," huffed Hitsugaya, shaking his head. "I was born in Rukongai, and even if I did grow up in one of the nice districts, I know damn well just how bad the life is in the outer ones even without any Hollows. It might be an act of mercy to kill some of the people in the furthermost slums, but that doesn't mean I'm going to do it."

"I already told you, I don't think the old man really thinks you would attack innocent people." Kyouraku sighed. "But... it's not entirely unreasonable for him to think you might be involved without meaning to."

"And how would that work, exactly?" Hitsugaya hadn't slowed down one bit even as they stepped outside, storming down the streets, sending lower shinigami looking for cover. For all that he rarely showed it, his temper was quite well known in Seireitei, enough so that nobody wanted to give him any excuse to direct it at them.

"Well..." Kyouraku scratched the back of his neck. That was a good question, wasn't it. "There was this one case a few decades back where a shinigami sleepwalked and caused a havoc..."

"As though I get enough sleep to do that," Hitsugaya murmured. "Between the paperwork and my idiotic subordinates, it's a wonder I can close my eyes for even a minute."

"You keep complaining about that, yeah," Kyouraku replied lightly. Such an uptight kid, Hitsugaya was. Matsumoto could be great company, especially for drinking. "You know, most captains wouldn't simply live with an annoying vice-captain well past two centuries, so obviously you can't dislike Rangiku-chan as much as you claim."

"Three reasons for that," Hitsugaya snapped, counting the points off on his fingers as he listed. "First, she's the one who first made me realize I should become a shinigami before my uncontrolled reiatsu killed my grandma, so I owe her. Second, Isshin would never let me hear the end of it. And third, however annoying she may be, there's always a chance that a replacement would be even more annoying, and I'm not about to take that chance."

"Well, at least you seem to have it made clear to yourself," Kyouraku chuckled, then looked around. "...Say, isn't your squad's barracks the other way?"

"Yes, it is." Nevertheless, he didn't seem about to change his course.

"So... tell me why you seem to be headed for the thirteenth squad's barracks?"

"One would think that would be obvious," Hitsugaya snorted. "If I'm heading for the thirteenth squad's barracks, I must have some business there. Why so?" He glanced at Kyouraku with something that might have been amusement in his eyes had he not been so annoyed. "Worried I'll try to woo your love?"

"Ah, now, Hitsugaya-kun, you know that's not true." Kyouraku laughed, not exactly satisfied with how nervous it ended up sounding. "Captain Ukitake and I are only friends."

"Note that I never mentioned Ukitake's name." Now, there was a definite hint of satisfaction, there. "Besides... my vice-captain is indeed Matsumoto. I hear all the damn rumours going around with the shinigami women whether I want it or not. Including the ones that point out that even though you flirt with all the pretty girls, there have been no known incidents of you actually doing anything to any of them during the last couple of centuries at the very least."

"That's just rumours and malicious slander." Which he... couldn't exactly put a stop to, now could he.

"Yeah, whatever. There is such a thing as trying too hard, you know." Hitsugaya snorted. "I don't try to traumatize little girls all the time, but nobody's yet to question my sexuality. Of course," he then added with what for him passed as a teasing tone, "I also don't spend the majority of my time with a sweet, popular, pretty male 'friend', either."

"Seems like your vice-captain doesn't tell you all the rumours, then." As he got a dirty glare, Kyouraku put on his best innocent face. "What? You've been regularly squished between her magnificent boobs for centuries and never shown a reaction! People do wonder, you know."

"It's annoying, she's not my type, and besides she's taken anyway, nowadays." Hitsugaya shook his head, white strands shifting over his back. It was kind of pretty, though obviously not as pretty as Ukitake's hair. "It's not exactly my fault that the average shinigami apparently does not know the meaning of self-control."

"Fine, fine. And why haven't you done anything about Hinamori-chan, yet?" This time the glare was more of a sharp glance, not that that would do much to stop Kyouraku. "Even the worst idiots have figured out you'll go to absolute extremes to defend her, yet you've never done anything to actually approach her. I mean, it's certainly not impossible for a man to consider a woman important without also being interested in her, but considering how extreme you seem to be in your feelings and how cute she is, well... it does make one wonder."

"We grew up together," Hitsugaya huffed. "She may not be my blood relative, but she's still as good as my sister. Besides," he added wryly, "she's still in love with Aizen, even after everything. Even if I was interested in her as something more than a friend, there's no way in Hell I can compete with that particular ghost."

"Ah, yes." Kyouraku dipped his hat a bit. "That's a troublesome rival indeed." And if everything Aizen had done could not wipe him from Hinamori's memory... well, then there was hardly anything that Hitsugaya could do to erase his shadow.

"Except he's not a rival since I'm not trying to get Hinamori. ...And no, that still doesn't mean I'm gay." The turquoise eyes were very cold indeed as he looked at Kyouraku.

"I never said you were, though, so there's no reason to try to convince me." He chuckled. "Merely that some do spread such rumours. And even if you were, I would hardly be one to judge." Because, given the sharpness of the younger captain, it would probably be useless to try to further deny his involvement with the ever so lovely captain of the thirteenth squad.

"I somehow doubt you'd judge much even if someone turned out to be attracted to housecats."

"Now, now, you ever seen Yoruichi? Now there's a nice little cat..."

Their conversation continued in more or less bickering but ultimately not very hostile tones until they reached the thirteenth squad's barracks. Thankfully Hitsugaya's initial annoyance had worn mostly off by then, as much as it ever wore off, anyway. At least he wouldn't have to worry about the boy exploding at the poor undeserving Ukitake. Hopefully.

The shinigami they asked about Ukitake's location seemed a bit surprised to see two captains visiting at one time, but nevertheless advised them to check Ukitake's office. At least he didn't offer to show them the way; there was probably hardly anyone in the thirteenth squad who hadn't seen Kyouraku around enough to know that he knew his way to Ukitake's office very well indeed. Judging by the rather certain way in which Hitsugaya strode off along the corridor without waiting for his guidance, the other captain wasn't here for the first time, either.

Kyouraku was not too surprised to notice that Hitsugaya didn't bother with knocking, instead marching right in. Ukitake looked up from some papers on his desk, apparently surprised at the sudden intrusion. Kyouraku dipped his hat and murmured a short apology as he followed the tenth squad captain inside.

"Ah, Toushirou! And Shunsui!" Ukitake seemed happy despite his surprise, his expression then falling as he saw Hitsugaya's expression. "...Is something wrong? I heard you'd been summoned, but since it wasn't for all the captains, I didn't think..."

"Nothing terribly wrong, no." Hitsugaya eased on his frown a bit. It was really a wonder he didn't have a permanent headache, walking around like that all the time. "Just... a mission I don't agree on. Which is why I'm here." Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked seriously at Ukitake. "I need to borrow one of your officers."

...Well. That was something of a surprise. The confused look on Ukitake's face mirrored perfectly Kyouraku's own. "What do you mean?"

"The Captain-Commander wants me to investigate a strange Hollow infestation off on the outskirts of Rukongai," Hitsugaya replied. "I can take along anyone I want, but the reason for picking me for the mission was that there's some suspicion of ice-type reiatsu being involved. Doesn't make sense to me, but if the Captain-Commander thinks it's for the best, far it be from me to question him..." To his face, anyway. Kyouraku chuckled, earning him a brief glare before Hitsugaya went on. "There're not that many ice type zanpakutou users out there, even fewer who are powerful enough to be of any actual use, and hardly any who have any idea of how to handle themselves in the worst parts of Rukongai. So, if it's at all possible, I thought to ask if I could steal your tenth seat for a bit."

Ukitake's face turned serious. "I'd love to let you," he sighed. "She'd probably enjoy the change, we've hardly had anything interesting to do lately... but you know what her brother will think if she's put into any danger."

Hitsugaya sighed. "We both know she was strong enough to be seated as soon as she joined," he pointed out wryly. "Even tenth seat is hardly the right match for her skill level. It's not like I'm asking her to save the world, just look into the appearance of some stupid Hollows. I know how her brother is, everyone knows, but do you really think I'd let another captain's officer get hurt while I'm around?"

"She can handle herself very well, that girl," Kyouraku pointed out, catching on to what the two were talking about. Of course. Kuchiki Rukia. The one who should not have been promoted yet had. Her brother had been even icier than usual towards Ukitake for decades after he'd first promoted the girl. As though being given a seated position could possibly put her in any more danger than she'd been in as an unseated shinigami. "Between the two of them, I'm sure the kids can keep our dear Captain Kuchiki off your back." Obviously, he was glared at again. As though that surprised him.

"I... I suppose you're right." Ukitake shook his head. "I'll let her have the last say, though. That way Captain Kuchiki can't say we were forcing her out on a dangerous mission."

"She's a damn well seated officer," Hitsugaya grumbled. "Hell, any shinigami should accept the possibility of being sent out... the higher in the ranks they are, the better the chance they make it out alive."

"We all know as much," Ukitake admitted, "but her brother is protective. And then, given the situations into which she's gotten into before, one can hardly blame him."

"It's been two damn centuries since the trouble with Aizen." Nevertheless, Hitsugaya didn't seem about to protest. "Very well. Where can I find her? I apparently need to ask whether she'd prefer a proper fight to pushing papers... as though there's any real shinigami who'd choose the paperwork."

"You'd be surprised." Ukitake's slightly suffering glance towards the heaps of paper on his own desk, though, suggested he was not one of those hypothetical beings. "I believe you should find her in her office at this time of the day. It's down the hallway to the left, fifth door on the right. You can't miss the door, there's a bunny drawn on it."

"A rather clumsily drawn bunny," Kyouraku murmured under his breath, though not loudly enough for either of the white-haired men to actually make out what he said. Instead, he just watched Hitsugaya excusing himself and leaving the room.

"...So. What is it?" Ukitake looked seriously at Kyouraku. "For all that he's often grumpy, Toushirou certainly prefers proper missions to the day-to-day duties. Did something else happen?"

"Well, he claims the old man suspects him of being involved in the incident." Kyouraku sighed. "I suppose he wants to take Rukia-chan along just so he'll have a seated officer's word of his own innocence... he can't very well just tickle the old man Genryuusai with his sword, after all."

"Not exactly, no." Ukitake's lips curled a bit. "And what did you think of his motivations?"

"Well, according to the reports, it's something big," Kyouraku replied, matching his smile. "Certainly the most worrying incident we've had in years. And, well... we all know the kid's being groomed up for a promotion. Far as I see, the old man's just testing him out." It was hardly any secret among the upper ranks that Genryuusai was planning to retire at last sometime within the next decade or so, nor was it much of a surprise as to whom he was planning to fill his own seat with. Hitsugaya perhaps lacked the experience many other captains had, but in both power and just sheer intellect he was nearly unmatched even among them. Kyouraku himself had long since admitted defeat to the young genius, and it seemed Hitsugaya still had potential left for more growth.

Nobody could perhaps truly make up for the lack of the old Genryuusai in just about any aspect, but Kyouraku was sure Hitsugaya would certainly come close, given the opportunity.

"You mean, everyone but the boy himself knows it. If he'd realized it, he'd hardly accuse the Commander-General of suspecting him of criminal activity." Ukitake chuckled. "...He truly is a strange child at times, isn't he?"

"A bit... not that one can blame him, of course. After all," Kyouraku grinned, "he is a Shiro, so to speak. They often seem to be strange."

Ukitake's glare perhaps wasn't as icy as Hitsugaya's, but it was certainly just as sharp as the captain of the thirteenth squad stood up, walking closer to him.

Of course, considering his punishment for cheekiness was apparently going to be a kiss, he wasn't exactly complaining.