A/N: So, we were using http : / prillalar . com / drabbles/ (remove the spaces) to create retarded little drabbles like this one and we decided to put them up here C: ENJOY THE RANDOMNESS.
I'm Dreaming Of A Horny Christmas
It was Christmas Eve. Ivan sat sexily bent over a table, sipping sexy eggnog.
He looked at the hot vibrator hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Alfred had hung it there, just before they looked at each other passionately and then fell into each other's arms and spanked each other's penis.
If only I hadn't been so hairy, Ivan thought, pouring a erect amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Alfred might not have got so arousing and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a vibrating tear and held his nipple in his hand.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then an orgasmic voice lifted heatedly up in song.
I'm dreaming of a horny Christmas
Just like a threesome of horny bunnies on viagra
Ivan ran to the door. It was Alfred, looking slippery all over with snow.
"I missed you teasingly," Alfred said. "And I wanted to rub your penis again."
Ivan hugged Alfred and started to sob.
"I think you're drunk," Alfred said.
"I think so too," Ivan said and they spanked each other's penis until they knocked the Christmas tree over.
On Christmas Day, they ate roasted chicken eye socket and lived expertly until Ivan got drunk again.