My heart felt like it wanted to pop out of my chest; it kept feeling as if the high rate it was thumping at wouldn't pace down anytime soon. I was alone and wandering the streets of Twilight Town. Around every surrounding there were the still shadows. The night had fallen already and I had not even noticed. Time was just something I can't keep track of well anymore, can I? It was just about half an hour away until midnight would strike the clock. Holding my hands together and trying to keep my sweaty palms to a minimum, trying to make sure I wouldn't just let myself have a panic attack, I kept pacing myself forward. Maybe you're asking: why the heck is some girl wandering about all by herself on the streets soon before the time was going to be midnight? When everyone would be in their homes already in bed, fast asleep?
Well... I really don't know how or why but... He had asked me to meet him right at the peak of the Clock Tower. The spot where he and the rest of the gang usually would always be found at, hanging out. We'd always be enjoying Sea Salt Ice Cream popsicles, sitting at the edge right under the clock hands. This was the next place we loved to be together at, besides the Usual Spot in the back alley of Town. Hayner, Pence, Olette... and him- Roxas. Roxas had always seemed cheerful a week ago but lately... He just hadn't been seeming like himself. He wasn't the guy who would constantly be chuckling and smiling anymore whenever he was with us. Instead, he seemed so... Distant and far-off now. Whenever the gang and I would be hanging out at the Usual Spot and would be discussing plans on what to do for the few remaining days of the summer vacation we had left, I'd always be sneaking glances over at Roxas to see his expressions and reactions. All of a sudden, the feeling of butterflies in my stomach would always rise up whenever I'd think about him and I think I had been acting more goofy and dorky around him because of the awkwardness and embarrassment I would feel when he was nearby.
Somehow it seemed Olette had noticed 'something' from the way I was acting that maybe I hadn't found out yet. But it's not me that I or anyone else should be worried about. The point was that Roxas obviously had something on his mind. Something that was really troubling him and really getting to him. Maybe this night... He'd tell me everything and the constant worrying I was feeling for him would be put more at ease..
I had been having all kinds of dreams every night. The kind of dreams where... There's this person you're chasing after and they would disappear just as you approach them, seeming as they had left your world forever... This was one of the kinds of dreams that scared me most. The strange dreams that kept including Roxas and a bunch of other people who I had never met got caught in my mind and would be doing a replay, over and over. How to explain these dreams, I can't even find the ways and words. What was going on with Roxas? That was the question I needed to know right now.
Snapping out of my pondering then, I shook my head rapidly and ran straight ahead towards the path were the Clock Tower was: where Roxas would be waiting for me, wanting to tell me everything he needed to.
-
Finally, when I got there at the top right under where the giant clock hands were in place, I saw Roxas sitting at the edge of his seat. He was slightly dangling his feet as he looked across the entire Twilight Town. The blonde bangs he had covered his gorgeous, ocean-blue eyes; I don't know why, but... even from a few feet away I think I could see the sadness he was holding in.I could feel my cheeks already burning up and my heart was still thumping fast.
"R-Roxas?" I uttered out to get his attention. A small smile tugged on my lips when he turned around to face me.
"Hey Hope, you finally came." He gave a small chuckle and patted his right side, urging me to sit down beside him. I gave a small nod and carefully made my way beside him, so that I wouldn't fall off. Now, maybe I'll find out why he called me up here- just the two of us alone...?
"I-Is something wrong?" I began right when I sat down beside him. He continued to look out at the town below at our feet.
"Well... Yeah. I've got a lot to tell you. That's why I called you up here." He said in a bit of a dark tone.
"Go ahead," I urged him on, ready and wanting to hear. "You seem like you've been really out of things lately." I mentioned softly to him. He lift up his face from and looked over at me again. A frown found its way onto his face, I noticed right then.
"Time... I don't have much of it left." He sadly stated. My heart bounced and I felt like I wanted to hop up from my seat by his strange, out of the blue saying. I edged towards him a bit more, waiting for him to explain further. A gut-wrenching feeling was emitting in my stomach.
"Roxas... Please, tell me what's going on. Whatever it is you want to say, just let it all out." I pleaded softly, a worried expression clearly visible on my face.
He looked as if he was choking up at the moment, trying to muster up the courage he needed to tell me. He gulped and opened his mouth begin. "Hope... I..."
...
...
...
"I-I'm a Nobody!" He spit out. My eyes rose up in shock as I continued to stare at him with a worried, questioning look.
"R-Roxas, what are you sa-" He put a finger to my lip to cut me off so he could explain further.
"I-I... don't have a heart. A Nobody doesn't have a heart. We're just what's left behind of the ones who did have hearts long ago. I'm... Not whole. I didn't know anything about him or the fact that I was a Nobody until all these weird events and people started coming one who I came from- his name's Sora. He's been asleep for over a year in order to have the memories of his past restored. That's why... I've been having visions and dreams of him. I'm his Nobody, his shadow. And for him to wake up again..." He took a pause, holding his head down.
"I'm going to join him and be one with him again; My existence was never to be in the first place. Now it's time for me to completely erase my trace from this world." He continued solemnly. My heart felt like it sank deep. I was thrown into a world of shock, disbelief, and sadness. Everything Roxas had said was overwhelming and I couldn't find myself to be able to understand it all at once... My chest was clenching up and my lips trembled- as I was choked up, speechless.
Every part of me felt like gravity was pulling down on. I bite on my lip though to try to hold myself still in reality. I slowly shook my head back and forth. "In order for Sora to wake up... You have to give up yourself?" I managed to ask. He gave a solemn nod in response while he was hugging his knees to his chest, resting his head on them. A pang of urgent persistance hit me and I hopped up on both my feet to finally speak out towards him.
"No... Roxas, this can't be the only way!" I begged. "T-There... Has to be another way to keep Sora in this world, along with keeping you too!" He lifted up his head from his knees and looked back at me with a surprised expression for a few seconds then to have a hopeless expression replace it.
"R-Roxas, please, even though you say that you're a Nobody, that you don't have a heart, even I can tell you have true emotions."
"Nobodies are able to hide who they are well. They can pretend to possess emotions and fool people into believing it. But... I don't have a heart... So how is it that I can feel somethings I can?" He explained further and questioned no one. I shook my head furiously this time and threw out my arm to pull him up from sitting down, then the next thing I did shocked me myself.
I threw my arms around his neck and embraced him.
Roxas let out a small gasp when I suddenly wrapped my arms around him. I buried my face onto his right shoulder.
"If you say you can't feel... You can't feel this warmth I'm wanting to send out to you either...?" I murmured softly. My head was resting on his shoulder. The next thing I felt were two arms that wrapped me back around my waist.
"That's the other thing..." He began, holding me. "Hope, since you and the others won't be able to see me anymore... Can you promise me one thing?" With every second that was passing by I felt like my chest was clenching up more and more as I was feeling moisture already coming up towards my eyes.
"Don't forget me," He finished. My body felt like it was trembling and the water felt like it was really rushing up in my eyes now. But... I had to hold back.
"Please don't say that..." I pleaded him. "You're not going to disappear. If what you say about yourself being a Nobody is true and is really what you think, then I refuse to believe it. To me, you're a Somebody. I can feel your emotions right now: the sadness you're trying to trying hard to hide. It's as if... I can sense 'your' heart vibrating the feelings you think you don't have."
"But I don't-" I cut him off before he could protest.
"The heart is not just something you can see or feel. Perhaps sometimes it is not yourself who can see it, but there can be other people who can really see through to you. Roxas... You are you. Even if you were born as the Nobody of Sora, that still doesn't change exactly who you are, no matter what anyone else tells you. Even if you and your existence could vanish... In my world, you'll always live on. In my memories I'll always replay, you'll live on and in my heart your existence can't ever be erased... No matter what happens, you'll always be irreplaceable." I felt my heart wanting to burst, not because of the sadness, but rather... The hope and the sincerity I felt I threw into all I was saying to Roxas. The next few minutes was a silence. The only thing I could hear was his breathing and it seemed he was slowly intaking in my words too, trying to find what to say back.
Then suddenly, I felt a few wet drops on my shoulder. My eyes widened and I drew back slowly to see the tears that were dripping off of Roxas's cheeks.
"I... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He apologized and bit his lip. I could tell he was trying that hard to hold back the tears. My lips pursed yet I felt a feeling that wanted them to form into a small smile. This maybe was not the time but... There was this feeling I had. There really was another way.
"Silly... " I looked down and chuckled silently to myself in a happy, pitiful way. "Nothing's your fault, Roxas. You're doing what I always have a habit of doing: apologizing at a time where it's just not necessary." I then laced my fingers into his hand and held onto his hand tight. "Please don't be sad. I know that somehow... There's gotta be another way. To sacrifice yourself isn't the only way. You're not alone, definitely, Roxas... So, I promise that... I'll go with you. To find the answer. You can't give up so easily and accept this fate." I held my other hand onto his left chest, where the heart would always lie. He clenched onto my hand interlaced with his harder and used his other free arm to wipe away the tears that threatened to spill. His cheeks were blushing slightly along with mine because of the moment, but he found the courage to look straight up. His baby-blue ocean eyes locked with my chocolate-brown eyes in a sereneful gaze. My smile felt like it was shining with sincerity and I nodded firmly at him.
'How come... How come it's as if she can make me feel like I really do have a heart?..' He asked himself. Roxas could feel strange feeling of confidence growing in his left chest. He could feel the warmth of my hand on it. Phyiscally... and emotionally those feelings she was trying to get across to him so hard. The beautiful smile that he hadn't smiled in such a long while... Fell on his face then. He then felt the urge to do something.. That would probably reveal the truth to the warm, fuzzy feelings he was talking about. Then he leaned forward slowly and had given me a soft kiss on the forehead. EEEEEK! Inside, I felt like my stomach was doing wild somersaults. I fell out of our embrace and averted in the opposite direction of him; I trying to hide my blazing, tomato-colored cheeks now. Out of insanity and embarrassment, trying to shake the heat in my cheeks away. Roxas noticed this and a chuckle escaped from his mouth.
"You're the other silly one." He joked and I turned around with my jaw slightly dropped to see him with an even brighter, warm smile. I couldn't help but smile again back at him. Then I took a small step forward to get a better look at the starry heavens that towered above our heads. Searching my eyes across the entire dark yet lit-up sky, I found the one star I always looked for: the moon. The one thing in the sky that no matter where we went, it'd always be there. The clouds, the stars, the moon, and the sky is always looming above us though, no matter where we'd go. I turned back my gaze over to Roxas again.
"Well, Mister Roxas... Please, would you like to wish on the moon with me?" I asked him, my eyebrows lifted in enjoyment.
"The moon...? Why not the stars?" He asked, confused. I tucked the hair on the side of my face back into my ears. "Because... If we're to wish on a star, it'd be more difficult to be able to find that one star you wished on that you want to send to another person. The moon is the one and the same. No matter where we are, if we'd look up at the night or morning sky, we can remember each other."
"We know that we can always be connected," He understood what I was saying and took a small step forward turned toward my side to look up at the bright moon that shone in the sky, as if it was looking right down upon us both. He took my hand in his again and held onto it as I did the same, then we both connected all of our feelings into one wish at the moon.
"Together," He pledged, grinning.
"Together," I pledged as well, with an eye smile.
Roxas spoke back up with his eyes straight at me again. "Hope... Thank you." He held his other hand on his left chest, where his hidden heart was and always would be.
