A/N: Just like I mentioned in the summary, the original version of this story is porn-with-plot. I didn't want to break the rules here so innitially, I didn't plan to upload if on FF.
But now I decided to post a censored version on this site since as I continue to write, quite a few important plot elements for the next story keep popping up. I figured I better post the important non-explicit parts here for those who don't want to read smut but still want to follow the plot.
If anyone wants to read the full non-censored version, you can find it with the same title on Ao3. On this site, I've replaced the smutty part with the (ao3) mark.
Chapter 1
She overwhelms all his senses.
Her voice, her flesh, her warmth, her scent, her taste, her pleasure—all he can think about is her.
Evelyn trembles beneath his fingers, but as usual, she fights against any reflex that urge her to close her legs or wiggle away from him. All she does is reaching down for his hand to weave their fingers together.
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Following her hand, he leaves his spot between her legs to crawl up and kiss her, sharing her flavor between their lips.
Pulling back to give Evelyn a chance to catch her breath, Solas takes a moment to observe her, pride surges in his chest at what he had done to her.
Rosy cheeks, heaving chest, tousled hair, swollen red lips. Unable to contain himself, Solas reaches up to caress her lips with his thumb.
What would it be like to have them wrap around his cock? How heavenly would it feel to have her tongue caress him? To look into her eyes as she is bringing him—
No, he has already taken enough from her. There is no need for Evelyn to bring herself down and please him like a slave. He had had plenty of oral sex during his younger days back in Arlathan, but those women were either just want to please him due to his position, want to feel a sense of power and control over him or because they wanted him to repay the favor later so they just treated it as a chore.
The very few ones that actually enjoyed the act were his friends but his bonds with them were different from what he has now with his bondmate. And it is likely that what his friends feel about certain sex acts with him were different from what Evelyn may feel. After all, his love was raised in a completely different environment from the magical and sexually-liberated Arlathan.
And in the end, Evelyn is not like any of those women. As her happiness and comfort are more important than his pleasure, just having her accept him like this is enough for Solas.
He stops thinking to focus back on his lovely soulmate. She still has that exhausted but happy look and he concludes that he certainly should not demand more from her.
Solas nuzzles against Evelyn's face and neck until his bride, still smiling shyly, pushes him back to give her space. She folds her legs until her thighs are pressed against her front, spreading herself wide open for him.
"Come, Solas," Evelyn whispers and there is no choice for him but to obey.
xxXxx
"You really love to do it." Evelyn comments sometime later while they are lying against each other, sweat is still covering their bodies as his hand strokes along her upper arm.
"Do what?"
"T-tasting me, I mean." Evelyn blushes so adorably while murmuring, "Is it fun? You always so focuses on doing it that, sometimes, you don't even care about releasing yourself."
"How could I not enjoy myself when I get to see you like that?" Solas replies, moving his strokes to her cheek. "You are so beautiful, and I love to see you enjoy yourself. Seeing you writhed in pleasure like that and knowing that I am the one who did it—what kind of man would not love that?"
"I see…" Evelyn's blush deepens before she hides her face into his chest. "I love having you do that to me too…"
Chuckling at her reaction, Solas tightens his hold on her.
Evelyn is still quite shy when it comes to talking about sex but she is gradually coming out of her shell each day, at least in her actions. One day, after she has gotten used to freely expressing her desires, he will probably miss her adorable blush a lot.
And since he will miss it, he better enjoys it now.
Thinking just like that, Solas flips both of them over so Evelyn is lying beneath him.
"Since you love it, let me give you more." He licks his lips but before he can crawl down, Evelyn stops him.
"Do you… want me to do the same for you?"
Solas stops to look at her. "Do what?"
"Oral sex. You were looking at my mouth before and seemed to think really hard."
Mentally scolding himself for being so obvious, he smiles and shakes his head. "There is no need for you to do so. Let me handle everything for you. Just lie back and enjoy."
Before Evelyn can protest, Solas quickly kisses her to stop his bondmate from thinking any further. Perhaps this time he should try to test how long she could endure before he pushes her over the edge.
xxXxx
Evelyn is hiding something from him. Solas is sure of it.
For the past few days, she did not come to him in the evening to help him paint the murals or to discuss Veil activities. They only meet at night or when his presence is needed for a meeting with the advisors.
She also burnt her cooking thrice. Evelyn does not burn her cooking, ever. Not unless she is extremely sick and Solas has already secretly checked, she is quite healthy—not counting the Anchor's activities, of course.
The only times Evelyn is not acting absentminded is when she is working with the Inquisition's business but that is normal for her. Not to mention since she still has time to cook for him, her workload is probably still at their normal level, so Solas can guess that whatever is bothering his soulmate probably isn't duty-related or at least not serious enough to affect her work performance.
But he is not quite sure if her trouble has anything to do with him either. Their love-making is still amazing, she is very affectionate with him every time she has the chance to do so.
He does not want to open their link to check on her soul—since they had agreed before to learn and develop their relationship like a normal couple—but at this rate, he may need to do so soon.
Grumpily, Solas reaches for another one of the meat pies that Evelyn has left for him. These ones only slightly charred and still taste delicious but he would prefer to have her eat them together with him—they always share a meal together either in this rotunda or in their chambers, now it's just him here.
Having her by his side has really spoilt him rotten. In the past, he could ignore a lover for years or even decades without missing that person or feeling a shred of guilt; but now, just a couple of days without her attending just a portion of their daily routine is enough to leave him in a sour mood.
How the mighty has fallen…
"My friend, for someone who's as lucky as you, you look really miserable." Dorian suddenly appears at the bottom of the stair.
"Pardon?"
"You are a respected member of the Inquisition. Your lover is the Inquisitor and she absolutely adores you. You're now sitting in what's basically your own office with all the research you would ever want… and good food, too." Dorian explains before snatching a small pie for himself. "So, do forgive me but I can't image what could possibly make you so gloomy like that."
Solas lets out a sigh before replying, "Evelyn has been avoiding me in the evening for this whole past week. I just do not understand, everything else between us is still normal, but something is distracting her enough that she actually burnt her cooking."
"Oh, that…?" the younger man slowly chews on his pie while glancing aside.
"You know something, master Pavus?" Solas narrowed his eyes at the Atlus.
"Well, I can say I do, but I don't think it's something I should not disclose to you without her consent." Dorian holds up his hands in a placating gesture. "But… how should I put it? You do know about her past, right? It'd be strange if I know more than you."
"I do." Solas's frown deepens, remembering Evelyn's memories that he has seen in the Fade—a little girl with sad eyes who read alone in an empty room. "What of it?"
"Because of how she was raised, there're a lot of things Evelyn doesn't have much experience with compared to normal people; namely, her ability to communicate on a personal level with others," Dorian explains in a serious tone. "She is extremely good at playing the roles other people give her. But when she has to be herself and express her feeling to others and vice versa, Evelyn can be woefully inept. Unless you spell things out in a direct and straightforward manner, she will most likely misunderstand your intention."
Solas grimaces, now remembers how his courtship with Evelyn in the Fade has ended up with her thinking that Fen'Harel views her as a little sister instead—all because he was too much of a coward to say his feelings directly to her. For someone who had no troubles finding lovers and bedmates, Solas is a terrible suitor.
"Then, I did do something wrong?" Solas finally asks.
"Technically, yes." Dorian scratches his perfect hair in frustration. "I did promise Evelyn to not say anything, but if this continues, you two will probably prolong this state for a while…"
The man trails off for a moment before giving up with a heavy exhale. "I think you should end your work early today and go to your chambers now. Evelyn is up there and most likely doing whatever she's doing."
"I do not understand."
"Just believe me and go. Let me deal with this for you." Dorian waves his hand before reaching for the Veil's activity reports Solas was working on. "And remember, talk to her clearly or she won't understand your true intent."
Not wanting to miss the chance to find out what is wrong with his bondmate, Solas leaves without much protest. Opening his sense to check on Evelyn, he confirms that what Dorian said is true—Evelyn is in their bedroom and whatever she is doing, she probably doesn't want anyone to know given how nervous and embarrassed she's feeling right now.
As he goes through the door of their bedroom, Solas deliberately doesn't say anything, only closing the door loud enough for Evelyn to know someone is coming.
Just as he guessed, immediately, there is a small gasp following by hurried rustling sounds. Whatever she was doing, Evelyn certainly does not want anyone to know.
"W-who's there?"
"It is me, vhenan," he answers with a casual voice, using his lightest steps while trying to reach the top of the stair quickly. He can hear her running from one spot to another.
"My Wolf, y-you're back early!" His soulmate says from her spot in the middle of the room—face all red and obviously trying to control her breath. "Finished work already?"
"No, not really." He smiles, suddenly feels the need to tease her despite his more serious intention to come here from the beginning. "I just suddenly wanted to see you so I figured there should be no harm to skip some works to spend more time with you."
"I-is that so?"
He can see Evelyn starts sweating furiously and making very ill-concealed attempts to glance at their bed. She looks like a child trying to not get caught for stealing cookies.
How adorable! Now he wants to tease her even more!
Feinting innocence, Solas walks over to the bed to sit down before holding out his hand to Evelyn. "Come now, vhenan. Won't you let me hold you?"
Evelyn looks apprehensive at first before stepping forward to take his hand and settle herself in his lap. He can see that she is still a bit nervous but eventually, Evelyn relaxes and wraps her arms around his neck, nuzzles her face into the crook of his neck.
"I've missed you these past evenings too, my Wolf," she mutters against his skin. Her small confession squeezes at his heart. Selfishly, he cannot help but feel a little joy knowing that the disruption in their routine does bother her, too.
For a while, Solas thinks that perhaps he should just delay his quest to find out Evelyn's secret and just enjoying his time with her. It is simply too hard to let go of her but when they adjust their positions to be more comfortable, his elf-ears catch a small rustling sound from between from pillows, forcing him to leave his little dream and back to reality.
If he stops his plan now, he may ruin a chance to understand and help Evelyn. Whatever problem his soulmate is having, it is obvious that she does not trust or comfortable with him enough to ask for help—and the thought that he is unreliable for her to depend on is unacceptable to him.
Now that he had confirmed that there is something being hidden on this bed, he needs to move Evelyn out of the way and get to them before her.
And so, he continues to hold her, both to enjoy their little moment of peace and to lull her into a false sense of security until he can find the right time to strike.
Eventually, Solas makes his move. "Do you have any of your sweet tea left? I suddenly feel a craving for it," he asks.
"More like you always drink it instead of my other teas. You are a wolf and yet you like sweet more than meat!" Evelyn huffs out a laugh but still gets up to get to the fireplace.
"There is nothing wrong with enjoying sweet and delicious things?" Solas retorts good-naturally, eyes trail on Evelyn while he carefully edges toward the pillows.
Evelyn turns around to reply, "But you did say that even my bitter teas taste good so—Solas, what are you doing!" and shrieks as she sees Solas dipping his hand into between the pillows.
Immediately, she rushes to him but it's already too late. By the time she has crossed the room to jump on Solas and pull him back, he has already dragged out several stashes of paper and two books.
"Nononono!Don'tlookdon'tlookdon'tlookdon'tlook!" Evelyn keeps yelling while struggling against Solas to snatch back her "secret"; but with her small stature and his strength, it is definitely a hopeless match for her. After a few moments, she finally manages to get a hold on the papers but by that point, the only reason she succeeds is because Solas's mind is basically a blank after he has read some of the titles and text:
Chapter 5: The Act of Love with a Woman's Mouth
Basic Techniques of Oral Sex (Female to Male ver.)
Chapter 14. As I learn to pleasure him
How to Catch a Man with Your Tongue in Every Possible Way
Tutorial on How to Leave a Man (and You) Speechless
Knowing that she has failed, Evelyn screams in frustration before snatching all the documents to herself and turns away.
There is a long, awkward and uncomfortable silence between them until Solas finally snaps out of his shock and collects himself enough to turn to her.
"Ah—Evelyn, that was—"
"You weren't supposed to know until after I've learned it!" Evelyn moans, glancing over her shoulder at him while looking both furious and close to tears. "It was Dorian, wasn't it? I will kill him!"
"'Until after you've learned'? Have you been learning about oral sex? Why didn't you tell me?" Several times before, Evelyn has offered him but each and every time, he had declined and used something else to distract her. Eventually, she stopped asking altogether so he thought that he had finally succeeded in convincing her to abandon the topic—now it turns out he was wrong. Dead wrong.
"If I tell you, you will stop me," Evelyn replies plainly, eyes daring him to tell her the opposite. And truth be told, she is not wrong, he would definitely try to stop her.
"Look, I know that I don't have any experience in this, but I can practice," Evelyn continues while Solas is still debating about what he should say next. "I can try on toys until I'm sure that I won't accidentally bite you."
"What? No!" Solas exclaims. "It is not about whether you have experience or not. Nor do I care that if you could hurt me. I don't want you to do it because I do not want to make you uncomfortable."
Solas holds onto Evelyn's shoulders to turn her fully around to face him. Moving his hands to her cheeks, he gently stroke the skin below her eyes while explaining, "I don't want to force you to attend to my pleasure like a slave. Countless time in the past, I've seen with my own eyes how the masters in Arlathan forcing their slaves to serve them with such acts. It was absolutely humiliating and degrading for those victims. You are my bondmate—there is no way I could let you degrade yourself just for my own gain."
Evelyn looks at him like he is growing a second head before growling. "Solas, did you just seriously compare slavers raping their slaves to me making love with you? If you think that me giving you oral sex is degrading then what the hell did you do to me almost every night? Did you feel insulted when you did that to me too?"
"Never! How could I ever feel like that? I did not mean it like that." How could she ever think that he feels anything other than joy when he is with her. "I love you. Seeing you happy and knowing that I am the reason for it makes me proud of myself."
"Then can't you think for a moment that the same also applied to me? I am your bride! I'm also a grown woman but you didn't even give me a chance to decide for myself!" Evelyn snaps back before, much to his horror, tears start to quell up at the corner of her eyes. "You always make me feel so good so I also want to do the same for you… I want to make you feel happy. I just want to try but then you kept declining me even though it's obvious that you want it, too. I-I've thought there's something wrong with me so you don't want me—"
"No, no, no, Evelyn, please don't cry. I'm sorry! Please!" Frantically, Solas gathers his soulmate into his arms, kissing away her tears while stroking her hair. "There is nothing wrong with you. It is all my fault!"
It is true. Everything is all his doings. He was so arrogant that he thought he could decide what is good for her and what not—in the end, as always, he only ends up hurting her. He has already ruined enough of her life from the moment she was born and now…
He needs to do the right thing.
"Let's try again. Together," Solas says as he pulls Evelyn back to look clearly at her. "You can try it with me. Whenever you want."
"Really?" Evelyn asks before seemingly realizing something and shakes her head. "No, I'm not going to force you to do it just to please me. If you really don't want it then I understand."
She then tries to squirm away from his hold but he pulls her back.
"I do not suggest it just to please you. You know that I want this, don't you? To the point that I actually spaced out while touching your lips. It was why you try to learn from these papers so intently in the first place."
She nods, still half-turns away from him, but at least not fighting to get away anymore.
Gently, he guides her face back to look straight at her. "I think we both have our own flaw in the way we communicate with each other. I tend to assume and decide things for you, while you often try to deal with your trouble on your own instead of asking me directly until I take the initiative. I think we can both learn to help each other by being more open."
Evelyn still keeps silence but she is looking at him now while mulling over his words.
Solas takes a deep breath before asking in a clear and firm voice, "Vhenan, do you still want to try oral sex with me?"
Evelyn presses her lips together for a moment before she, too, answers firmly, "Yes, I do."
"Then let's do it tonight," Solas announces. His heart brightens at Evelyn's smile as she spreads out her arms to wrap them around his neck, pushing both of them to lie back with her on top him.
"Will you show me how?" whispers Evelyn. "The texts are quite details but I just cannot get into them..."
"Of course. To be honest, I was lying when I said I don't care if you could hurt me. I am actually very much concerned with keeping my important part intact," he says it with a straight face, and as expected, it makes Evelyn laugh.
"Good, good. Glad to know you're still very much a normal man with normal concerns then," she replies while wiping away the tears at the corner of her eye, mouth is still spreading ear-to-ear.
He loves her smile so much. Then, he remembers something. "Speaking of those papers, did you get them from Dorian and the Iron Bull?"
"Ah yes, most of the… more 'technical' ones, actually. I found the rest in the library, the romantic ones, you see…" Evelyn explains sheepishly, "I was trying to find more proper tutorials than just women novels when Dorian walked in on me. He and Bull offered to help but…"
"But?"
"I was so mortified when they discussed our sex life, and those two kept arguing with each other on how to teach me so, in the end, Bull found some materials for me to learn by myself." She signs and lets her head fall back onto his chest again. "But no amount of sucking on my fingers could actually show me what it would be like with the real thing. I was actually considering whether or not to ask Bull to get me one of those toys when you suddenly came back."
The thoughts about Evelyn "practicing" sends a flash of heat straight to Solas's groin but he pushes it away. Instead, he decides to just focus on talking with his soulmate, wanting to help her express herself more.
"Oral sex is something better to learn through hands-on practice, vhenan. You have to watch out for your partner's reaction to know what to do," says Solas.
"I know." She thinks for a bit before glaring at him. "But really? I had touched your private part so many times these past weeks ever since we finalized our bond, why did you think I would feel uncomfortable with licking it?"
"Well…" Solas coughs. "Aside from my experience with the slavers and their victims, many of my past bed partners didn't seem to like it that much either. And the very few ones that did were my friends, but I thought that perhaps since they were very different from you so you would not like it. I was wrong, obviously."
"Very obviously," Evelyn deadpans but then she smiles a little, drawing little circles on his chest with her finger. "That's why I'm glad we're talking right now. I've never done anything like this before… talking about feeling and what I like and want to try in such an intimate way, I mean…"
"So am I," Solas replies, turning both of them so they are now lying on their sides, still looking at each other. "All of these—having a serious courtship then a bondmate, talking heart-to-heart, learning about my partner's preferences—I've never thought that I would one day experience a true relationship."
"But didn't you say you have many lovers before?"
He laughs. "Oh, vhenan, having a lover does not necessary means having experience in the matter of the heart. I know how to make love to a woman, but I had never felt the need to try to understand a woman's heart or to please her purely for her happiness in a romantic way. You are the very first person that I care like this. I want to make you happy."
A rush of images flashes through the back of his mind…
She is crying under the moon again.
Even though she smiled at him so sweetly this afternoon, there is no trace of that happiness in her now.
What can he do to make that smile last forever?
He just wants to make her happy.
The emotions come and go faster than even a blink of an eye, leaving barely a register in the elf's mind. Solas can only recognize a feeling of nostalgia but beyond that, it feels like nothing had happened, most of his attention is still on Evelyn, whose smile has widened at his revelation.
"I want to make you happy, too." Evelyn whispers, "Tonight, I want to learn more about you."
"So do I, vhenan." He presses their foreheads together. "So do I."
xxXxx
They spend the evening together, trying to finish her work of the day as soon as possible to leave more time for her to relax.
Eventually, night comes and before he knows it, Solas finds himself helping Evelyn to dry herself after their bed.
There are no needs to change into new clothes so he simply carries her straight from the bathroom to the bed. He sits down on the edge with her in his lap, feeling the pleasant heat and softness of her body.
Gently, she cups his cheek and gives him a reassuring smile. Even without their link, he knows what she wants to say.
I will be all right because you are here with me.
Pulling his head down, Evelyn captures his lips. Her kiss is strong, even eager, and Solas feels like he is being pulled along with her will.
Soon enough, their tongues engage in their familiar dance. Little nibbles, long strokes, short strokes, pulling and pushing, entwining and exploring, pleasure and shivers that run down his spine—it is an intoxicating thing that will never make him tired.
When Evelyn ends their kiss, Solas could see the usual flush she always has whenever she is aroused, but in her eyes, there is a keen focus and a little bit of nervousness.
"It will be all right. Go ahead, I will help you out when you need it," Solas reassures her.
She gives him a long look before nodding.
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"E-Evelyn—"
It feels like an eternity in which he is floating in ecstasy.
But it actually only lasts until Evelyn suddenly lets go of his cock and turns aside.
The moment Solas hears her coughing, panic sets through his whole mouth. Immediately, he jumps off the bed to take Evelyn into his arms.
"Vhenan, are you all right?" He frantically turns her around to look all over her.
Tears have gathered at the corner of her eyes, her nose and cheeks are red, and there are drips of liquid running from her mouth.
"I-it's all right—I'm o-okay," Evelyn answers between hacks and coughs. Solas does not dare to believe her but he restrains from saying anything until she calms down.
When she looks at him again, she is smiling.
"I didn't realize you have that much stored in there. Caught by surprise, really." She giggles, half-amused and half-embarrassed. "And keeping something that big in your mouth for that long really aches!"
"This is no laughing matter, Evelyn. You choked," Solas scolds her with a frown, yet cannot help but feel a little proud from her offhanded compliment. Sighing, he helps her up before returning to sit on the bed with her in his lap. "You shouldn't have pushed yourself so hard like that. It was your first time, not a competition."
"I'm an overachiever, and I like to do well even from my first start." Evelyn shrugs. "I'm sure now if I get to practice more with you, I can do better," she says confidently.
He sighs again, "Still…"
"But you liked it, did you not?" she cuts him off.
"Yes, it was incredible," Solas admits—he cannot lie to her, not after he has shown how much he enjoyed it and after he has seen her own happiness. "I love it."
His confession makes a brilliant smile bloom on Evelyn's face. Pride shines through her eyes. She wraps her arms around his neck and whispers into his neck, "I'm glad, my Wolf."
"So am I, vhenan," he murmurs, hands stroking her bare back and thighs. He turns her head to kiss her, but she stops him instead.
"Something wrong?" Solas frowns.
"There's still some… left in my mouth." Her cheeks redden as she covers her mouth with her hands.
Cannot help himself, Solas chuckles before pulling back Evelyn's hands.
"Oh, vhenan, how many times have I kissed you right after I used my tongue on you?" He taps her bottom lip.
"…Too many times to count?" Evelyn replies, avoiding his gaze.
"And do you hate it?" He smirks, already knowing her answer.
She looks at him shyly now. "N-no, I really love it."
"Then why do you think I would hate to kiss you after you have done the same to me?"
He does not wait for her answer this time and just leans down to kiss her. She does not shy away from him either, opening her mouth so willingly for his tongue to dart in and have a taste of himself.
When he leaves her mouth, Evelyn is smiling so tender at him.
"You haven't asked if I like to give you oral sex or not?" she tilts her head.
"Do you…?" hesitantly, Solas asks, a mixed feeling rises in his chest about the possibility that her answer will be "no".
Not answering him right away, Evelyn takes his hand and press his fingers against the junction between her thighs.
She is wet. Very much so. And it is obvious that it isn't just because of his kiss.
"I love it," she says simply, eyes twinkling as her tongue sticking out to wet the corner of her lips.
It is only then that Solas realizes there are still traces of his seed trailing down on her chin; and on her breasts, semi-translucent splatters of liquid decorating her skin.
He can feel his cock twitches. And so does Evelyn.
He was so wrong about this, and he is glad that Evelyn has proven him otherwise—Solas concludes as he quickly moves. In a blink of an eye, Evelyn is already lying in the middle of the bed with him hovering above her.
"We can practice more in the future. Remember back when I said that there are things I want to show you? I want to keep that promise with you now. No more hiding or assuming." Solas says in a low voice, his hand stroking tenderly against her cheek. "I want to learn more about you."
There are still a lot of things for them to learn as a couple, especially when they both have no experience in this matter. But while Solas has no doubt that they will argue and even fight one another many times more in the years to come, right now, nevermore that he has such a high hope in their future.
And with the light in her eyes as she looks up to him, Solas can tell that Evelyn is clearly thinking about the same thing.
"I cannot wait." She smiles, fingers gliding from between his shoulder blades to the top of his neck before pulling him down.