A/N: First time I've written this kind of story... little slow paced. This is my OTP so please no hate. Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie. XX)(XX

Karkat leaned his head back hitting it against the wall of the shower.

"Fuck." He mumbled to himself. The water ran over his back and it felt warm and comforting. He always loved the shower. It was a nice place to avoid all the problems of his life. He loved feeling clean, warm and safe. The hot water burned his skin as it always had, but he loved it. He loved the small flickers of pain it sent shooting through his body.

The pain had faded as the cold water started its body with the hot water. Karkat reached over and shut off the cold water turning the hot all the way up. It was to hot for his skin, it left bright red bumps where ever it caressed. Karkat ignored it. He remembered the last few nights and looked down at his wrists.

The three dork cuts healing where they were. Karkat frowned. They were going to go away and the memory would disappear with them. He opens the shower curtain, turning off the water and stepping out. He didn't grab the towel; instead he went over to the sink reaching under. Karkat ran his hand along the bottom grabbing the thin handle of the letter opened he had stolen from Crabdad. He got back into the shower, leaving the water off. He closed the curtain and sat down on the bottom of the shower.

He raised the blade to his wrist.

He pulled it over his skin, a trail of red followed quickly after. Karkat did this 4 more times. The already there scars were now split back open and blood was pouring at a steady pace. It ran down his hands and over his knees and legs. The pain was huge, it pulsed through him and burned intensely.

The pain brought on memories. Memories of John. Of how he left Karkat for Dave. He cut another gash across his wrist. They weren't deep enough to kill him. They just hurt and bleed a little. Another memory shot through him. Of how he had walked into John's room to find Dave fucking him into the mattress. Of how they didn't stop even after they saw him standing in the doorway.

Karkat remembered how John moaned Dave's name.

He gashed another cut on his arm, higher up than the others. They had slowed down the bleeding and Karkat stood up. Blood lay in a puddleon the floor of the shower. Karkat turned on the shower and stood under it again. He watched as the red water turned pink, then clear. He got shampoo and washed his hair. He reached for the towel with his sore, throbbing arm and dried off his hair. He wrapped the towel around his waist and walked over to where his clothes lay folded in a pile on the counter. He slid his boxers on and looked in the mirror.

The body and face he saw was scarred and ruined.

He hated it.

He hated that he had ruined so much of everyones lives. He raised his fist and sent it flying through the mirror. It shattered and little peices of reflective glass bounced on the floor. It looked like rain. Blood started dripping onto the counter and Karkat ran the sink. He placed his hand under the cold water. He used his fingers to pull out the larger peices of glass. He threw them away in the trash the continued to pluck out the other, smaller pieces When finished he grabbed his first aid bandage he always used to hide his scars and marks from everyone around him.

He wrapped it around his knuckles and up over his wrist. He wrapped it up higher so it covered his new ones farther up his arm. He then slid on his jeans and grabbed his usual turtle neck and pulled it over his head. It covered his arms down to his wrist. He unlocked the bathroom door and stepped out into the hallway. The lights were off, as they always were. Karkat looked out the window and saw snow.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

The snow seemed to have been going for a while now, because it was piled well up over the tires of the blue Chevy out front. Karkat loves the snow but he doesn't like to admit it. Not even to himself.

He took a left down the hallway and into the kitchen. The clock on the stove read 3:34 am. He had been in the shower for for almost 5 hours. Karkat startd mumbling to himself about how Crabdad still wasn't home.

~~~~~In The Past Two Days In The Past To Be Exact~~~~~

Looking out a window was Sollux Captor. He had woken up during the night and was shaking. A feeling in his stomach told him to run to the bathroom. Standing up and covering his mouth holding the discusting fluids in. He has been sick for a while now, but he doesn't care. No one ever paid attention to him anyways. It's not like anyone would care if he just vanished. What's the point in caring for himself if no one else cared.

Once in the bathroom he hits the floor landing right in front of the toilet. His face in the bowl hurling up the only bit of food he had managed to take in over the last month. Coughing as he stands up the pain in his stomach residing.

Tears stream down his face as falls back onto the dark tile of the bathroom.

"I'm just as uncle says I am... Useless."

~~~~~Now Back To The Present My Pretties~~~~~~

Sollux still lays curled up in a ball on the floor of his bathroom. No one has come looking for him. No one was expected to. If anyone was to see him now all they would see is a dead body. But, to Sollux's great regret, he is still alive. his stomach heaved but there was nothing there to explode from his mouth. It had been just over a month and still no one had come looking for him.

"I don't exist, because no one cares."

Sollux doesn't care for himself either. He didn't care to sleep. He didn't care to eat.

His eyes flicker like a candle to the clock and he sighs. Midnight. It had been 37 days now. Sollux rolls onto his back looking out the window across the hall from the bathroom door. The moon was barely visible through the thick clouds. Snow fell at a steady pace from the sky and coated the roof of the house across the way.
His stomach lurches again and he curls in on himself. "Shit."

~~~~~Across The Way~~~~~

Karkat sat in his kitchen across from the window. The snow fell and Karkat frowned. He stood and walked over to rinse out his cup of tea and place it in the dishwasher. From the window he could clearly see the neighbors dark looming house a single light shining through a small window on the top story.

"Hmm?" It was unusual for another person to be up this late. Karkat cursed at his insomnia.

Something crashes in the other room and Karkat jumps a little at the sudden noise. He walks slowly into the livingroom. On the floor lay the shattered remains of what had once been a lamp. Karkar looked up to the small table where it had once sat to reveal the culprit of the shattered lamp. Troll.
Troll was the cat that Karkat had been given by Dave and John for Christmas. Karkat bit his lip anger burning in his chest. Not at the cat, but at who gave it to him.
Karkat walked over to the cat and gently lifted him up into his arms. he scratched gently behind it's ears.

"Hey kitty. Causing chaos as usual I see." He carried him to his fathers bedroom and threw him gently onto the soft mattress. Troll curled up on the bed and purred lightly as Karkat closed the door.

He headed back into the kitchen to retrieve the broom and dustpan. The whole lamp went into the trash.

"Crabdad is gonna kill me for this." He muttered to himself.

Out the livingroom window he could see that the light at the neighbors house was still on. Curiosity got the better of him and he went over to where his shoes sat and slid on his sandles. He opened the door and stepped out into the cold air. He jumped off of his porch his feet sinking into the snow. He shivered as the snow touched his toes. He walked quickly across both his and the neighbors yards and stepped onto the porch. The door bell wasn't to teribly high but Karkat still had to reach up to push it.

'Whoever lives here is going to hate me for all of eternity.'

~~~~~Up The Stairs And With No Soul~~~~~

Sollux sighed when the doorbell went off.

'Who the fuck would be here at this hour? Probably another one of uncles whores.' He thought angerly.

He stood. It was hard because he was so low on energy. He placed his hand on the edge of the sink to help him stay standing and made his way slowly down the stairs to the living room.

~~~~Blarg Bar~~~~~

Karkat still stood on the porch. He turned to leave, thinking that maybe his neighbor was asleep and had just left the light on.
The door swung open to show Sollux. His hair was a greasy mess, he stunk of puke and sweat and he just looked plain out horrible. Karkat turned to look at him. Karkats face crinkled and his nose bunched up at the smell.

Sollux stared at the short boy a look of surprise on his face. "Wh-" His eyes were still dead but his face was contorted in pain as his stomach tightened in pain. He bent over coughing loudly. It was plain to Karkat the tall man that had opened the door didn't give a shit about himself. Sollux stood back up and looked at Karkat again.

"Who are you? And what do you want?" Sollux's voice was horse and scratchy. His tone mean and hateful. He hunched over again another coughing fit hitting him harder than the last sending him to his knees.

Karkat jumped and crouched down in front of the man. He wasn't one to care for others or to even give any shits, but he wasn't heartless.

"Hey man, are you alright?" Sollux didn't answer but instead stood and stared at the cartet just inside the door to his house. He was holding onto the door like a life line. Sollux spoke again.

"Answer my question. Who are you? And what do you want?"

Karkat also stood again and looked up at Sollux. "My name is Karkat Vantas. I just moved in next door about a month ago and I saw your light on. I came to see if something was wrong." He looked Sollux over again wincing at the sight. "I guess that I was right."

Sollux laughed slightly but it turned into another coughing fit. Karkat jumped forward and grabbed his arm before he could fall to the ground again and pulled him back into the house and over to the couch. He helped him sit down ignoring the smell.

Once Sollux was seated he looked up at Karkat taking a deap breath. His stomach made a noise that reminded him of a dyeing whale. He frowned and looked up at Karkat.

Karkat looked at the sickly man in front of him and laughed a little bit. "I take it that you're hungry?" Karkat got up and walked in the direction of Sollux's kitchen he opened the cupboards to reveal nothing. Absolutely nothing. He opened the fridge. There was only a six pack of beer and a rotting orange. Karkat sighed and went back into the living room. He squatted down getting to eye level with Sollux and looked into his eyes.

"What's your name?"

Sollux looked up an odd look in his eyes. "Sollux Captor." He said quietly.

"Well Sollux, when was the last time you ate?" Karkat asked.
Sollux grimaced shaking his head. "A few days ago I think..."
Karkat stood looking around and frowned. "I'll be right back." He opened the door and walked back out into the snow a chill ran down his back as he crossed the two yards and entered his house. He saw that Crabdad still wasn't home and he ran to the fridge. There was some honey bread on the top shelf and he took it out, setting it on a napkin and placing it in the microwave to warm up.

Once it was done Karkat ran across both the yards to Sollux's house. He walked in not caring enough to knock.

Sollux had fallen asleep on the couch and Karkat sat carefully beside him. He shook Sollux's arm to wake him up and laughed quietly at how startled Sollux looked to see him there.

"Didn't think you'd actually come back." Sollux said to Karkat as he took the honey bread. Karkat frowned and stood back up looking around the living room. It wasn't a large room but it wasn't small either. The couch that Sollux sat on appeared to be leather. Across the way there was a large flat screen TV surrounded by at least 15 gaming systems. Pictures covered the walls and Karkat frowned there appeared to be other people in a lot of them.

Karkat walked up to a picture and looked at it.

There was a young girl in a light pink dress. She looked a lot like Sollux. Honey blonde hair, blue eyes, and a soft face. There was no doubt that this girl was Sollux's older sister.

Next to the girl stood a younger Sollux, he was standing on the beach smiling and looking out at the water. He looked to be 7 or 8. Karkat smiled. There was another guy in the picture he appeared to be older than both Sollux and the young girl, maybe 17. He was frowning and looked a bit lost in thought. He looked beyond out of it and was being held onto by another man with a balding head. The man looked happy but in his eyes, even through the picture, you could see anger. Pure rage.

Karkat reached up and touched the picture frame.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!"

Karkat turned around to face Sollux. Karkat had the face of pure shock.

"Uh..." He crossed his arms, almost shrinking into himself trying to avoid the look of sadness in Sollux's eyes. "Okay."

Sollux sighed and looked away from Karkat. He stood using to arm of the couch to keep his balance.

"I have to go take a shower. Just, um, wait here. I'll be back in a few..." He leaned against the wall and walked up the stairs slowly entering his bathroom and closing the door. A minute or two later Karkat could here the shower running and he shook his head. Karkat sat down on the couch and frowned up at the ceiling.

"What is up with this kid?" He mumbled quietly to himself. "He's so... sick."

Upstairs Sollux stood in the shower. He leaned against the tiled wall and coughed again the pain in his head and chest resonating through his whole body. He became dizzy but he chose to ignore it. Nothing to worry about the walls would stop moving in a minute or two.

Sollux washed his hair thinking to himself.

'He is just some random kid, no one I've ever met before, and he is here, helping me, for no reason. What's his angle?'

Sollux rinsed out his hair and turned off the hot water. He opened the shower door and stepped out of the hot shower. He grabbed a towel quickly drying his hair and wrapping it around his waist. He opened to bathroom door peeking out to make sure that Karkat wasn't standing in the hall or something before stepping out and walking down the hall to his room. He opened his dresser mumbling to himself about being incompetent and pulled on a pair of boxers.

He started feeling dizzy again and this time he couldn't stay standing. He fell to the floor. His head hit the edge of his bed frame and he was sent into a blackout.

Karkat heard a thump and he looked up at the ceiling.

"Hmm..?" He walked over to the stairs and looked up them frowning. "Sollux? You alright up there?" No reply. "Sollux..?" He started to climb the steps quickly. He got to the top of the steps and looked down the long hallway. He could see the bathroom door was open and steam was rolling from the top in clouds of vapor. A little bit farther down the hall a light escaped a small crack from a door. The door was open wide enough for Karkat to see Sollux laying on the floor of his room, passed out.

A/N: This is the first of many chapters. I spent a looooong time working on this one. There will be more! I promise. I'll try to get the next one up as soon as possible! This is a work in progress.. A hard work in progress. I don't usually leave cliff hangers so don't think it's usual. Anyways... THANKS FOR READING THIS! I promise more chapters. XX)(XX