Living in Volterra could mess with one's sense of time and day. The vampires preferred to sleep in during the day and prowl the streets at night causing terror into people's hearts, kidnapping babies, and all sorts of horrible things.

There would be days he had to look at his phone's calendar to even know what month it was because the nights just seemed to blend into this abyss of space and in between drinking from blood bags as Jane feasted on some poor little boy and annoying the hell out of his, dear he say it, brother-in-law, (wait, was it double brother-in-law because he's married to his sister and he his or is it brother-in-law squared?) there was only so much he could do for entertainment.

Mostly, he spent the nights feasting in the Volturi's kitchens.

And ah, here came Alec again and this time with hell's fury in his eyes.

EJ found that he liked hell's fury. It reacted well to his rude comments except when it came from Jane though. He did lov- liked! He meant liked the girl but she still scared him. A lot.

"I know what you're doing." Alec hissed out, hell's flames wanting to burst from his eyes and kill him. Ah, how he loved to piss of this jerk.

And he didn't even know what he did this time. Joy.

"Yes, you caught me. I'm raiding the kitchens and planning on eating all the cream cheese and doughnuts. Oh yes, Alec, I'm now one step closer to taking over the world!" He ended his little monologue with a little maniacal cackle, complete with dramatic clawed hands and head titled back for effect.

Hell's fury flashed dimmed down somewhat for the sake of confusion. "What the hell is wrong with you, Cullen? Seriously?"

"Uncle Emmett dropped me on my head a few times as a baby and my mom's neurotic and clingy behavior shaped me into the freak you see today."

Alec stared at him for a moment or two in complete bafflement, trying to goad if he was serious or not before shaking his head and sitting down across from him on the wooden kitchen table.

The Volturi were secretly just flamboyant folk. Just think of them as the Rockefellers with gayer outfits. They liked big houses, big cars, big money – everything in Volterra was shiny and priceless, even the kitchen table was worth more than their house back in Forks.

And here was EJ, getting cream cheese all over it. Grandma Esme would behead him.

"We need to talk." Alec stated nonchalantly, leaving no room for arguments.

If EJ was his sister, he would've shut up and listened attentively to anything the tool said, all the while staring at him in complete adoration (How low has his twin sunk?). Ha, good thing he wasn't.

So instead and as per usual, he contradicted Alec for the sake of contradicting.

"No, we don't. I'm eating , you're being rude. Fuck off." Of course, his mouth was filled with food at the time and it sounded more like "Mow we don't Wim itwhin, wore bewin wude. Fhowk woff!"

Alec must have an impressive ear for dialect as he understood all of that.

"Yes, I can see that." Then the vampire had the nerve to hand him a tissue and point out the cream cheese all over his face. The nerve.

"Cullen," He started again. "I know what you're doing with my sister."

"And I know what you're doing with my sister." He countered. "Thin walls, good hearing, loud screaming… why can't you move your room farther away from ours?"

He had the satisfaction of seeing Alec's face morph into horror and…embarrassment? (Score!) before the vampire straightened and pressed on. "Let's just talk about Jane, okay?"

"Yes, what about her?" He took another bite of his cream cheese covered-doughnut. Hmmm…cream cheese. It was the key to happiness. Go buy some. Now.

"I know that you're using her to get to me." Alec remarked, destroying his enjoyment. (See? He was a douche!) "And I want you to stop."

He swallowed, licking his lips as he reached for the glass of orange juice. "I did."

The vampire's eyebrows furrowed, it reminded him of the furry caterpillars he used to find at the forests near his house. "When?"

He took a long sip of his juice before answering. "It stopped being about revenge months ago." He shrugged languidly. "I like Jane."

Incredulous – that was the word that described Alec the most at the moment. "Y-You…like Jane?"

"Yes, you sadistic, sensor paralyzing, bloodsucking, murderer, it's not that hard to comprehend."

"But…" The vampire shook his head, still in complete disbelief. "It's Jane."

"Yes and I will be sure to tell her about your appalling low opinion of her."

Alec sighed, getting tired of him already but clearly still frustrated. "Why do you have to be so insufferable, Cullen?"

"Family trait." Pushing his now empty place, he got up slowly, and made his way to the door. "Now please, excuse me. I'm off to find your sister and give you the problem of thin walls, good hearing and loud screaming."

He didn't bother to turn around and see Alec's face. "You should really move your room."

But he knew it was priceless.

EJ's like my new Alec. So snarky and annoying.

This is dedicated to =XxJasperAndAliceXx at Deviantart. She wrote this EJ/Jane fic and it was awesome. It's called "The feeling of love". Go check that out when you have the time.

Title comes from A Day To Remember song.