Yes, another oneshot. But this one is different, no humor here. I hope there are not any typos...
Warnings: BoyXBoy...not as much as I wanted, it is more subtle *sigh*
Please enjoy!
Sweat is trickling down his flushed face as he pounds down on the drums at a rapid pace. His blond hair is slick with perspiration but he does not care. His blue eyes are squeezed shut as if he is trying to become one with the music.
He's good, better than good, a master but he does not know this. No one does, no one except the boy in the far back. Said boy is staring the blond drummer down with an almost pained look on his face. He wears black, skin-tight jeans and a loose navy t-shirt. Written on the shirt in large typeface is a seven. His pale arms are crossed over his chest stiffly and his lips are pressed together firmly. Over-sized headphones create a ring around his thin neck, its black wire seems to disappear into the darkness.
He leans against the wall, letting the reverberating sound of the drums shake him. The rest of the music has no effect on him. It is just a meaningless jumble of lackluster melodies. The scuffed toes of his Converse dance to the rhythm of the song.
The singer, a whiny pink-haired girl, is belting her heart out and strumming a guitar as well. An older man with wild white hair is hanging toward the back of the stage doing his thing on the bass. The song, one the boy in the back has not been paying attention to is coming to an end. The blond drummer's eyes are opening, showing his blind elation to the world. The crowd around them is cheering loudly, causing the younger musicians on the stage to blush.
"Thanks and goodnight." The singer breathes into the mic, leaning over her shining guitar. The trio exits the stage, merging with the welcoming crowd. The boy in the back looks on with vague interest. He sees how the drummer is not smiling any longer on the contrary he looks terribly sad and miserable. This pains the boy watching him and his eyes find the ground. To cover the dull roar of the throng, the boy pulls up his headphones. He finds himself listening to the staccato intro of Beck's "Loser", and before he can stop himself, he is moving his head to the beat.
His eyes seek him out again, now the drummer is closer to him. The singer's vibrant hair is a stark contrast to the mass of dark as it moves through the crowd. He notices how the bassist is missing. This does not surprise the boy as he distinctly remembers how the bassist would disappear after each gig. He crosses his arms tighter over his chest at the memory.
'Where's Kaka-sensei?' Naruto asked, looking around wildly. Sakura could have cared less as she whispered smooth words into a young man's eager ear. Sasuke was overwhelmingly drunk already. Unlike Naruto, who was a boisterous drunk, Sasuke was subdued and played the guitar better when intoxicated. He watched Naruto in fascination.
'What does it matter if he's here or not?' Sasuke asked, reaching out to touch Naruto's forearm. Naruto had been standing, peering over watching fans for the head of white. At the guitarist's touch, he tensed and glanced back at Sasuke. The anxiety of the absence of the band member was momentarily assuaged and he took a seat. The booth was tight, Naruto's thigh was pressed against Sasuke's and Sasuke was very aware of his proximity. That night Naruto abstained from drinking, instead he was quiet and listened to every muddled word Sasuke uttered with an unnerving intensity.
'Good job, Sasuke!' A brave girl giggled from beyond the reaches of Sasuke's hazy vision. She was right Sasuke had played brilliantly that night. His thin fingers moved with ease along the neck of the instrument as he strummed along to the beat Naruto had created. Sasuke had not been paying too much attention to the crowd before him. Rather, he peeked back at the drummer more times than necessary. He loved that face of pure love Naruto made every time he played.
'Tell it to him.' Sasuke mumbled to the girl, jerking his thumb back toward Naruto, who had a shocked look on his face. Sasuke's face lowered down onto the cool surface of the table. The girl appeared to be bemused and she murmured some nice words of praise to Naruto. He graciously acknowledged them with a nod of his head, looking slightly awkward. The girl huffed angrily at Sasuke's lack of energy and backed away, disappearing into the crowd of young drinkers. Naruto chuckled lightly and set his face on the table as well, he faced Sasuke and stared into his eyes. Sasuke's already pink cheeks darkened and he felt like a little boy all over again.
'I thought you played really well.' Naruto said with a niceness in his voice which felt almost painful to Sasuke. He refrained from making a quip about it and only managed a small smile before replying. 'Thanks, man.'
The throat of the boy leaning against the back wall is thick with pain. His eyes are sore from staring at the blond boy so intently and he wants to leave. But something deep inside keeps him from fleeing the building and shuffling home in the icy rain. That something actually is not deep inside him, it is just a few paces away. It is tailing behind the singer, its head held high in false normalcy. But the boy in the back sees how everything is wrong. He can feel the sadness flowing out of him in sheets and it beats down on him, hard.
The stage is empty and the crowd is demanding more. The singer is faking modesty as she drapes an arm over the drummer's shoulder. Though the boy in the back cannot hear them, he knows the singer's urging the drummer back up. But the bassist is missing and this is causing a slight uproar. The light on the barren stage seems to be calling to the drummer and he peels away from the pink haired girl. His gait is slow as though he is charging through water. His eyes glare up at the dais with undisguised hostility, but he moves through the cheering crowd with more and more vehemence. People reach out to touch him and he is blind to it. The singer follows behind him, the happy look on her face gone.
She stares after the drummer, her own face now a mask of concentration. She knows how much he needs this and understands his sadness. The bassist appears out of nowhere and mounts the stage, plugging into the amp. The crowd is ignorant of the sudden change of mood. The boy in the back is not. He can comprehend the severity of what playing another song means to them. The singer has a worried look on her face as she peeks at the bassist, then drummer. From all the way in the back, he can make out just how much the drummer's hands are shaking as he takes his seat. He stares closely at the quaking hands, the hands he remembers so well and turns the music up louder.
'Sasuke, you're late.' Sakura snapped, her nails tapping on the body of her guitar. Kakashi was silently reading a small suspicious book in the corner of the trashy room, not caring. Sasuke's eyes were still bloodshot from the crazy trip he had taken the night before and he only dropped his guitar case to the ground with a heavy thud. Naruto stared at him like Sasuke was a different creature. Sasuke's black hair had been cut short, close to his head and he wore an angry look.
'Sasuke, do you understand the importance of this next show?' Sakura's voice echoed naggingly in Sasuke's smoky mind. He shrugged and slipped to his knees, causing him to wince. The ground was made up of gray cement, just as the rest of the building was. Sakura's face was livid with rage and she closed her eyes to breathe in deep. She simply shook her head and lowered back at Naruto. He had gotten up to go to Sasuke, but seeing her look of rage, he slowly sat back down. He watched Sasuke fumble with the latches of his case. Sakura tapped her shoes quickly against the ground, her patience dwindling.
'Sasuke! What the fuck is taking you so—'
'Sakura, shut up!' Naruto yelled, suddenly at his feet. Kakashi glanced up from the racy pages of his book to watch the stand off between the two. Sakura's eyes were wide with shock. Her mouth opened, shutting again. 'Sasuke, you don't look good, I'm taking you home.' He slid the huge headphones he used when playing down, the black cushions nearly reached up to his ears. Naruto stepped out from beside the drum set, picking up his backpack. Sakura watched after him, a blank look on her face. Sasuke was surprised by this new Naruto too, one who could actually stand up to Sakura.
'Sasuke,' Naruto began to speak as soon as the pair was outside of the building. He had a mean look on his face, gazing straight into Sasuke's eyes. 'Why?' He asked simply, looking Sasuke up and down. He did not look good in the least with his shoddy clothing and lack of personal hygiene. Seeing Naruto's serious face and steal gray eyes, Sasuke froze. Naruto leaned in, pressing his cool forehead to Sasuke's steaming one just as he had as a child. 'Stop it, Sasuke.'
'Stop what.' Sasuke breathed back quickly, avoiding the order. Naruto's eyes were soon a force to be reckoned with as they burned into Sasuke's mind.
'I think you know. Stop it. Just don't. I can't lose you.' His voice was husky, sounding as if his throat were congested. Naruto pulled away far too soon and Sasuke barely made out Naruto's last words. 'I just can't, Sasuke.'
The boy's eyes are stinging as he sees the drummer take his seat and pick up his drumsticks. He watches as the drummer begins, not hearing a sound of it. Suddenly, the boy wants to hear it, he wants to know whom the drummer is playing for. Before he can stop himself, he is weaving through the thick horde of people toward the stage. The boy pushes his headphones down, letting the pounding of the drums resonate not only in the soles of his feet but in his ears as well.
While the crowd catcalls the singers name, ignoring the bassist and drummer, the boy is earnestly rooting the blond boy on. The boy knows this song as well as his own name, having written it himself. His eyes train on the singer while she partakes in the vigorous solo. He watches her narrow fingers hit the notes just on time, a proud smile on his lips.
'No Sakura, not like that. You're getting the fingering all wrong.' Sasuke said with a trace of derision. With her hair pulled back tightly against her head, it was easier to make out the angrily pulsing veins in her forehead. Sasuke played the intricate few measures for her at a slow tempo. Naruto watched Sasuke from the other side of the room. Sasuke was better than he had been a few days earlier. He was actually giving the briefest of smiles. Naruto was just sad it was not himself who was receiving them.
Sasuke wore the band t-shirt with the large unadorned seven on it, as well as tight-fitting jeans. Naruto and Sasuke had always agreed the jeans looked awkward on Naruto and he was to never wear any. Sasuke, on the other hand seemed to don them every day. Naruto was struck by the shirt, as Sasuke never seemed to care about the band. As if feeling the eyes on him, Sasuke looked in Naruto's direction, causing the latter to lose his grip on his drumsticks, sending them to clatter to the floor. Sasuke pretended not to watch, though he grinned to himself.
'Stop laughing at me, Sasuke!' Sakura grumbled. 'Why am I learning this anyway, it's your part.' Sasuke's smile disappeared.
'Just practice your part and get it perfect.' His voice was a serious monotone that made Sakura pause. She peered into his unreadable eyes for a long moment and gave a noncommittal shrug. Sasuke pulled his guitar off and set it down slowly, almost lovingly in its case. Sakura started the melody again and Sasuke stood, picking up the case to take with him. ' 'Bye Sakura.' He said meaningfully, but Sakura did not pay him any mind. With a pain in his chest, Sasuke walked straight to Naruto.
'Naruto, I want you to hold onto this for me.' Sasuke said, holding out the guitar case.
'Okay, but why…' Naruto stopped talking, realizing something was off. He reached out, looping his fingers in the handle of the case. Their eyes never left each others'. 'Sasuke, what's wrong? You can tell me.'
'I know.' Sasuke said with a sadness in his eyes, a humorless smile at his lips. Naruto felt the heaviness of the case as he took it from Sasuke, this action seemed to have a finality to it. Naruto set it on the ground beside the drum set and stood. He stared Sasuke down, asking for the truth. Sasuke pressed his icy brow against Naruto's burning one and began to speak.
"Naruto, I'm sorry. I've tried, I really have, you have to realize that. Always remember that. And I'm so sorry I failed you.' Sasuke's voice was breaking, but he had to say the last three words, he needed to. 'I love you.'
Before the crowd and before the boy from the back, the drummer begins to play with more passion and urgency than he did previously. Everyone senses this as he plays. He beats the drums like it was them who gave up on him, like they believed there was no one left, that no one who cared. With his face and eyes burning with the pain of holding it all back, the tears begin to spill. They are weak at first, but become something more.
As the song reaches its booming climax, so do the drummer's tears. They seem to stream like a river, a never-ending one. His sobs are quiet and he attempts to hide them with his arm, but it is no use. The boy from the back sees them and feels a wrenching in his gut, regretting everything.
"I never wanted you to cry, Naruto. Never." He breathes; no one is able to hear him. The crowd lets out screams and cheers of love and joy. The singer's usually happy face is wet with tears as well. The bassist's face appears pained as he looks away from the crowd.
"Sasuke. Sasuke. Sasuke." The drummer murmurs to himself, covering his face. He stands suddenly, sprinting from the stage. The boy moves through the crowd to follow him. At the front door, the drummer stops and turns around, gazing back up at the stage. The boy halts, regarding the drummer's face for a whole moment. He wants he reach out and touch it, to feel its soothing warmth. He wants to press his forehead to the drummer's and tell him everything will be all right. But how can he?
How can he when he is dead?
I wrote this starting at 1 a.m. so please do not hate if it doesn't make sense. I hope you understand what happened, because if not, I failed.
Currently listening to...You Are the One ~ Shiny Toy Guns