Germany, I have a suprise for you!

by 9000chan

I suck at summaries for these kind of things, people. May cause nosebleeeds, both mentally and physically if you are that much of a perv. Rated T for sexual stuffs and cursing. Very short oneshot *cries* and my first crackfic.

Italy was being his usual annoying self, trying to get Germany's attention, screaming pasta every five minutes...it was very tiring for our favorite German. But Germany was reading. And for some reason, that was very important to him.

"Germany, Germany, lets play!" Italy yelled, poking Germany on the shoulders. Germany finally got fed up. No, an even greater extent of just plain fed up.

"I AM READING, YOU IDIOT! LEAVE ME ALONE OR I WILL RIP OUT YOUR TOUNGUE SO YOU CANNOT SPEAK OR EAT PASTA!" Germany yelled so loud the people in Africa could hear him. Their children started crying too.

The threat of not being able to eat pasta anymore was enough to make Italy run for the hills. But instead he ran upstairs.

*Lalalalalalalalalalala~ Lalalalalalalalalalala~!*

Italy went into his room and looked through his closet. Then he found exactly what he was looking for. "This will definitely get Germany's attention!"

So he got ready. This is going to be great! He thought while doing so.

And it was going to be great. At least for me, suckers...

*Lalalalalalalalalala~ Lalalalalalalalalalalala~!*

"Oh, Germany~" Germany heard a much too familiar voice calling him.

He sighed. "Vhat is it now, Italy?" Germany did not know what was going to happen next until it hit him.

Italy was in a hooker outfit. High heels and all. And he was dancing. And singing.

"My pasta brings all the Germans to the yard and damn right, it's better than yours! Damn right, it's better than yours! I could teach you, but I'd have to charge!" The small Italian sang his lungs out while dancing very provocatively. Like, VERY, VERY, provocatively.

All Germany could do was stand there, mouth agape. When Italy finally stopped dancing, he looked at Germany with his head cocked to the side.

"Germany, whats wrong?" Italy questioned.

Germany stood there silently for a few minutes, then he spoke.

"Humna, humna, humna, BONER~" The German exclaimed as he ran away, leaving Italy confused, wondering what a boner was.

*Lalalalalalalalalala~ Lalalalalalalalalalalala~!*

A/N: Writing a dumbass fanfic like this helps relieve the stress of writing a Dark! Italy fanfic. And someone suggested that I lay out my writing in a different way so it's not confusing to read. So, I hope you enjoyed this. Review?