He grabbed Dimitri and pulled him to the ground. They grappled, strength against strength, and then I saw those fangs sink into Dimitri's neck. The red eyes flicked up and made contact with my own.

I heard another scream – this time it was my own.

I shot out of bed screaming or at least I would have shot up if two strong arms weren't holding me down. I looked into those beautiful brown eyes so full of worry and I instantly calmed down. He wasn't dead. He was alive; holding me down on my bed like he'd done every night for the past month and a half. "Oh Dimitri, I can't stop having that nightmare," I cried.

He pulled me up and into his lap. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, "Deidre told me you really should talk to someone who isn't your therapist about this."

He was right. I knew he was, but I hadn't told anyone about how I feel about that night before. "I don't know if I can. It was horrible. All I see every time I close my eyes is that psycho blond bastard sinking his fangs into your neck. . ." I choked out. Just thinking about it shattered my heart again.

"Shh, Roza, It's okay. You killed him. He's not coming back. I won't let anything hurt you," He murmured. I couldn't stop crying. How many times did I have to relive the worst moment of my life before it drove me insane? He rubbed my back until I eventually fell back to sleep.

When I woke back up it was about five. Why couldn't I freaking sleep in like normal people? School doesn't start back up for another week. Dimitri wasn't here either. Weird. He was usually right beside me playing with my hair. He had barely left my side since we were discharged from the clinic. I got up to take a shower, and noticed a piece of paper sitting on my desk. It read:

Sorry I wasn't there when you woke up. I had to go get my new guarding schedule. You have your Posttraumatic Stress Disorder exam this morning at eight, so be sure you are ready and have eaten breakfast by seven thirty. I'll come get you from the cafeteria around seven forty-five. I love you.

-D

After my shower I threw on a pair of dark skinny jeans, a grey deep v-neck shirt, a pair of white TOMS and a black pea-coat. I put my hair in my usual messy bun, and also put on a little bit of mascara. It was about seven when I was done, so I went to go get breakfast. I grabbed a box of doughnuts, and a coffee before sitting down at my usual table to eat my yummy breakfast. Oh Dimitri is going to love this. Speaking of the devil, Dimitri showed up just as I was finishing my breakfast. It was good to see him. I was getting antsy.

"Rose, that's not what I meant by breakfast. I meant real food not junk," he teased. Told you he would say something about my choice of food.

I smiled my most smartassy smile, "Yeah, well, you're the only person who has ever complained about my eating habits."

He smiled and pulled me to his chest. It felt so good to be in his arms. After a few moments he pulled away. "Ready?" He asked me.

"Not at all. Let's go," I told him wearily. I was dreading this. Did they not think Deidre did her job correctly diagnosing me with this? I really didn't need a specialist. It was obvious I was fucked up. I barely slept and woke up screaming every single night. I had panic attacks at least once a day, and started to freak out when Dimitri was away from me for more than two hours.

"It won't be so bad," He said rubbing my back.

"Yeah. That's what you think. You're not the one having your head examined by complete strangers," I complained. The only acknowledgement he gave to the statement was kissing the top on my head.

When we got to the clinic I had to fill out paper work. When I was done I was taken into a room with an old Moroi guy that had grey hair and eyes almost as bright blue as Christians. "Hello. My name is Doctor Vadim Vorobyov you must be Rosemarie Hathaway," he said smiling at me like I was a feral animal.

"Call me Rose, please, and you don't have to treat me like I'm a wild animal. I might be crazy, but I'm not going to hurt you or anything like that," I told him bluntly.

He was taken aback. "Of course, my apologies, can you tell me about the attack?" he asked.

Was he serious? I hadn't even told Lissa about everything that had happened. "I'll try. I'm not sure where to start. There are parts I don't even remember"

"Well start at the beginning before the attack." He suggested.

I knew where to start, but I had to make sure this was confidential; "No one's going to find out right? Like this is just between you and me" he nodded, so I took a deep breath and began telling him about Jesse torturing Lissa, and Lissa torturing him back, and me taking away the darkness, and trying to kill him. I skipped over the sex just telling him that Dimitri got me calmed down. I told him about how Mason told me the Strigoi were coming and how Christian and I killed a lot of them. Then I got the part in the cave and I couldn't continue.

"Rose?" He asked. I had started to cry.

"I can't. I just can't tell you this part. That thing almost killed him! How could I have let it go on that long? Wasn't him using Dimitri as a snack enough?" I was getting angrier and angrier by the second. Not at him, but at myself and the blond Strigoi.

"I don't understand why your mentor is so important to you," he said. Of course he didn't understand. No one did besides Dimitri. He was the only person who knew me better than I know myself. He's the only person that could possibly understand why he was so important to me.

"It's none of your business," I told him.

He still looked puzzled. He took a minute to write on his note pad. "Alright," he said slowly, "Tell me what's been affecting you since the attack."

"Mainly it has been the memory of the blonde Strigoi almost killing Dimitri play in my head over and over. It haunts my dreams, I have panic attacks all the time, and when Dimitri's away from me for more than two hours I start freaking out," I explained.

"Okay. That's normal for PSTD. Have you done anything like self-mutilation or had thoughts of suicide?" He asked. Wow, did I really seem that crazy?

"No. The only time I thought about wanting to die is when I saw the blonde's fangs sink into Dimitri's neck," I told him honestly. I'd never wanted to die before that moment.

"Ah. I see. I'm pretty sure this is PTSD, but we're going to need to do a CAT scan of your head. Have tight spaces bothered you since the attack," he asked. You know, might be really stupid, but I kinda liked him.

"Not that I know of, I had one done after the attack, and I did fine," I told him.

After the CAT scan he looked over the x-rays and showed me what he saw. After an hour and a half he gave me a prescription for Xanax and Prozac. I was to take the Prozac daily. The Xanax I was supposed to take every day for a month then wean myself off of it until I only took it when I had a panic attack. Dimitri was with me at this time too so he would be able to help.

"Thank you for doing this. We really appreciate it," Dimitri told the doctor.

"You're more than welcome," he told Dimitri before turning to me, "It will take a while for you to be one hundred percent, but you should notice a difference soon. Just so you know I will be checking up every couple of months," he told me practically as threat, but I could tell he meant well.

"How did it go?" Dimitri asked me as we were walk somewhere. Hmm where were we going?

"It went surprisingly well. I actually like him. Where are we going?" I asked him.

We're going to see your mother and, ah, well, father," he told me nervously.

"My what? Are you fucking insane? Why are you taking me to see them? She was never around, and he never bothered to even see me!" I practically screamed at him. He had to be insane to make me see my father.

"One reason is because your father may be half my size, but some of the men who work for him could quite literally kill me without blinking. Reason two because your mother asked me to. Three is because it's time to tell them we're together," he informed me.

"Wait. Wait. Wait. You decided this without telling me? Dimitri, my best friends don't even know. We have to tell them first, and your family. I want to meet your family before we tell my shitty parental units who have no right to know about our relationship," I told him. I knew this would upset him. Ever since he brought me back to the academy he's been trying to get me to have a relationship with my mom.

"Rose – "

I cut him off before he could say anything. "No, Dimitri, we are telling your family and my friends before we tell my parents. I will meet him and spend time with them, but I will not tell them we are together until my friends and your family knows," I told him

He looked unhappy about it, but agreed. At this point we were right outside my mother's bedroom door. I took a deep breath and knocked.