A/N okay guys. First of all thank you to bellatricxblack12 who is now my beta reader and made sure this was okay. Secound thing, this is how i think blaine felt leading to the breakup. Hope you like it :)
Dear journal, I am so lonely now that Kurt is in new york. The jocks are getting worse at school these days. Kurt always talks about new york and Vogue and Rachel with Nyada. I love hearing about all of it, but I just get ignored from the moment we start to talk. If I interrupt him he gets annoyed at me and asks me what I want to say that so important. Sam and Tina are great friends they always make me smile and think about stuff. Brittany comes round a lot to help me out. We watch a very potter musical which we both love. She seems to be the only person that has time for me anymore. This guy messaged me on Facebook asking me if I wanted to come over to his. I said okay, seeming that Kurt doesn't want to know me anymore. When I got there he kissed me. After that he closed the door and we went to his room. He took his shirt off and pushed me onto the bed. As he was starting to unzip his pants I ran out as quickly as I could. I booked the flight to New York to tell Kurt and hopefully make him listen. Wish me good luck.
Dear journal, I've just come back from new york. I told Kurt that I was with somebody and he ran off in tears. I left this morning as soon as I could. At school today Finn came and asked me why I did it. I couldn't answer him, he would've just told Kurt. Brittany's coming over tonight even though she was slightly annoyed that I beat her in the campaign for senior class president. Were just gonna listen to music and talk about our old relationships and how great they were until everyone moved away. Doors just gone, wish me luck.
Dear journal, my talk with Brittany last night got me thinking if I'm just putting stress on Kurt's life and everyone elses life at school with me being here still. All the jocks at school keep telling me to curl up and die. I went and auditioned for Greece today but got so emotional thinking about Kurt that I couldn't take the part as Danny. Sam told me to get over him, but how can I when I love him so much. Every gift that I've sent him to apologise he's sent back untouched, including the flowers. It's the production of Greece tonight and I think I can do this. Wish me luck.
Dear journal, I've just gotten home from doing the musical. Kurt and Rachel came to watch I havent seen him since new york. When I was performing he looked at me and I looked at him and I nearly missed my line. After the show I tried to explain to him what had happened but he once again wouldn't listen and said he didn't trust me. I've been thinking about it since I got back from new york, but I thought that maybe Kurt would forgive me. But now he doesn't trust me. It's killing me from the inside those words he said to me. I have to do this. So that Kurt can live his life how he wants. Meet someone that he can love without me bringing his life down. I've got the blade ready. So for the last time journal. Wish me luck.
A/N so thats the story im thinking of doing a sequel to the story but im not exactly sure yet. So until next time.