A World without Agents
Part 1
"I'm ready for another day of secret spy stuff!" Dudley chimed as he came in to work. He looked around. Where was everybody? "Guys?" He searched from room to room, "Guys? Where are you?" He then chuckled to himself. "If you guys are planning a surprise birthday party for me, just an FYI, it's not for another five and a half months, so you can come out." Nothing. "Guys? I'm serous; this isn't funny anymore. Guys!" He then saw a grasshopper agent. "Oh, good. Maybe he can help me." He went to the grasshopper.
"Hey, buddy, have you seen the Chief, Keswick and Kitty around?" The grasshopper shook his head.
"Sorry." He replied. "Haven't seen them." And with that he was off.
"Then where the heck are they?" Dudley asked to no one in particular. He then saw a note in the corner of the room. He went to the note and grabbed it in his paw. He looked at it.
"Your loved ones have been kidnapped by The Diabolical ones." He was confused. "The Diabolical Ones? Who the heck are they?"
"Are you men ready for another day of work?" Skipper asked. He landed in his habitat and gasped when he saw that his friends weren't there. "Guys?" He looked in the beds. "Private? Rico? Kowalski?" He opened the door. "Where are you? This is no time for goofing around; the zoo opens in five minutes!" He then saw the note in the corner. He went to it, grabbed and read it. He gasped.
"Great leopard seals!" He looked at it again. "Who are 'The Diabolical Ones?"
Perry strolled down the stairs for breakfast. He was surprised when he didn't smell his food. When he stepped into the kitchen, he saw a crying Linda. Lawrence was comforting her. Perry could see he had been crying as well. There were police there as well, which made Perry wonder what happened. He strolled to Linda. Linda looked up at him. She got up from her chair and bent down to pet him. She tried to control her tears.
"Oh Perry," She spoke, sniffing her tears.. "They're gone." Perry's eyes widened. What? "My babies are gone. They've been kidnapped." Perry couldn't believe it! Was this Doofenshmirtz's doing? Linda cried in her hands as Lawrence tried to comfort her, trying to control his own tears.
Perry then noticed a note in his empty food bowl. He looked at it.
'We have your children.' It was signed 'The Diabolical Ones.' Perry then was determined. He ran for his pet door as fast as he could. Whoever The Diabolical Ones were, he was going to put a stop to whatever they were doing and save his kid owners and Candace no matter what.
"I'm off to work!" Stan announced when he came down the stairs. He gasped when he didn't see anyone and dropped his briefcase. He ran from room to room. "Francine? Steve? Hayley? Roger? Klaus?" When he didn't find anyone, he dropped to the couch and cried, hands on his face.
When he looked up, he saw a note taped onto Klaus' bowl. He ripped it off and read it to himself. His eyes widened.
"The Diabolical Ones'? Who are heck are they?" He dropped the note and ran out the door.
"Where are we?" Stan asked when he, Perry, Dudley and Skipper were all transported to the Chief's office at TUFF headquarters.
"We're in my boss's office." Dudley replied. "Weird, the last thing I remember is going out the door and then the next thing I know, I'm here."
"Me too." He looked at the platypus. "You?" Perry nodded.
"Creepy!" Skipper observed.
Then just then, The Chief, Major Monogram and Avery Bollock approached.
"Chief!" Dudley cried out. "You're here! Funny, I never thought to check here, but where's Kitty? Keswick? The others?"
"Dudley." The Chief told him. He looked at the others. "Did you guys get up and realize that your friends and loved ones were gone?""
"I just came down the stairs," Stan said. "And my family was gone." The others nodded.
"Did you also notice a note signed 'The Diabolical Ones?'" Everyone nodded again.
"This is creepy!" Dudley said. "What's going on Chief?"
"Well, Snaptrap, Doofenshmirtz and Dr. Blowhole have them all captive inside a volcano, Mt. Lavalava, to be exact." He looked at Dudley. "They have your mother too, Dudley." Dudley's eyes widened.
"My mother? Well, that explains why she wasn't home when I got up this morning. I just thought she went to the store because we were out of cream cheese. I had to eat my bagel cream cheeseless."
"Forget your bagels!" Stan told the dog. "The bad guys have our loved ones; we got to save them."
"I bet you're jealous that your show doesn't have any recurring villains."
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"Well, we got recurring villains, heck, my show has multiple ones, and you don't have one, I bet you're jealous."
"Dudley!" The Chief warned. "Don't start a fight again!"
"No, I'm not jealous." The CIA agent told Dudley. "Villains make good guys miserable. They do bad stuff like steal from banks, try to take over the world, murder people and other evil things. Sure, they make the shows more entertaining, but hello, they're evil! I'm glad that our show doesn't have them as much as your show does."
"No, you're jealous all right; I can tell." Stan became angry.
"I AM NOT JEALOUS!" Perry tugged on Stan's pants. Stan looked at him and looked at Dudley again.
"Perry's right, we can't do this now. We got a job to do."
"That's the spirit, Smith!" Bollock said to him.
"So, how do we get there?" Skipper wanted to know.
"We'll teleport you there." Monogram said. "Just grab the things you need from in the box and get in the transporter. After that, you guys will be on your own when you get there" The agents saw the box labeled 'secret agent stuff;' and grabbed the stuff they needed.
"I'll just grab my grappling hook and my gun." Stan said. He was about to grab his gun when Perry slapped his hand away. Stan withdrew it.
"OW! What was that for?! You didn't want me to fight with the dog and now you want to fight me? Make up your mind, will you?" Perry shook his finger. "Okay, okay, I won't grab the gun. Just let me grab my grappling hook." Stan grabbed his grappling hook and looked at Perry to make sure that it was okay. When the platypus nodded, he put in his pocket.
When they were done, all of them stepped into the transporter. Bollock grabbed the lever.
"Okay, your guys will have to work together now." He informed them.
"Good luck Agent P!" Monogram called. Dudley jumped in place.
"Can I go to the bathroom first?"
"Dudley," The Chief started. "I thought you'd be sensible enough to go before you get in the transporter."
"Nope! I really have to go!"
"Sorry old chap," Bollock spoke. "You'll just have to go in a bush." He pulled the lever.
"But I can't…" But before he could finish, the agents were all transported to the base of a volcano.
"Mt. Lavalava." Stan read on a nearby sign. "Yep, this is the place."
"I got to go potty!" Dudley shouted and hopped into a nearby bush.
"Okay, but make it quick. Heaven knows what the bad guys are doing to our loved ones right now."
Inside Mt Lavalava, Francine, Hayley, Roger, Steve, Kitty, Peg Puppy, Keswick, Private, Rico, Kowalski, Phineas, Ferb, and Candace were tied up to chairs. Klaus was in his bowl on a nearby chair. Snaptrap, Dr. Blowhole and Dr. Doofenshmirtz were there. There was a pool of bubbling lava beside them.
"Get us out of here!" Kitty demanded.
"Yeah!" Peg added. "I need to see if my son remembered to wear underwear to work. "
"No can do." Doofenshmirtz told her and Kitty. "We need you guys. You're all part of our plan." He looked at Peg. "You need to remind your son to wear underwear? How disturbing!"
"What plan?" Kitty wanted to know.
"You guys are bait to lure your loved ones here. Once the agents are here, we'll trap them in a cage and watch me zap my Destroy-all-Agents-inator, making all the agents in the world and agent wannabes disappear from existence. Once they are gone, we'll zap them, and then we can make our evil dreams come true" He laughed evilly with the others.
"You can't do that!" Kitty said, struggling. The villains stopped laughing.
"Oh we can't, can we?" Dr. Blowhole asked. "We can and we will!"
"Dad will save us!" Hayley told them. "He'll kick your butts and then you'll be sorry!" Snaptrap approached her and put a claw under her chin.
"We'll see about that!" He said and flicked her chin. She glared at the rat. Phineas looked confused.
"Wait a minute, why did you kidnap us? We don't have any agents in our family."
"My brother's right!" Candace realized. "We don't, so what gives? Why did you kidnap us when no one in our family is a secret agent?"
"There's something about your platypus you don't know." Klaus spoke. The kids looked at him.
"What about Perry?" Phineas wanted to know.
"He's not who you think he is. He's really…"
"KLAUS!" The Smiths all shouted. Klaus laughed nervously, knowing what he almost did.
"Oops! I almost let the cat out of the bag or almost spilled the beans, or however that American saying goes! Don't worry, once the agents save us and we're all home again, I'll do the dishes like I did when I spilled Roger's secret to Jeff."
"You don't have to do them." Doofenshmirtz told him. "Because when we destroy your loved ones and friends, we're going to throw all of you in the volcano!" The good cartoons all gasped. "Or when the volcano erupts, whatever comes first. The villains laughed and laughed.
"Thank gosh our show doesn't have recurring villains in it." Roger just said.
"I'm done!" Dudley announced when he came out of the bush. "I forgot to wear underwear so I'm glad I went, otherwise I would've soiled my pants!"
"Good!" Stan said "And a bit disturbing! Come on, we got to go!" The agents were about to go when they were ambushed by Yoshis.
Perry opened his eyes to discover he and his friends had all been tied up to wooden stakes coming up from the ground. Dozens of different-colored Yoshis surrounded them, most with spears pointed at them, feathered hats, and red streak marks on their cheeks. All of them looked mean and vicious. A fire pit was in the center.
"What the heck is going on?" Skipper questioned as he and his friends struggled for freedom. "Why are we all tied up to wooden stakes?" A red Yoshi, who was bigger then the other Yoshis with a feather on his hat, stepped forward.
"You have trespassed on our island. For that, you shall pay."
"SHALL PAY, SHALL PAY!" The yoshis chanted.
"This is your island?!" Dudley wanted to know. "That's awesome! You all must be very rich then!"
"Look," Stan told them. "We're very sorry we trespassed, but we mean no harm. We're just here because all our friends and family have all been kidnapped and are all being held hostages at a volcano. We were sent here to save them."
"We don't believe you!" The red Yoshi told them.
"It's true; I'm from the CIA. If I weren't tied up to this wooden stake, I would show you. All of us agents are on the same mission." The others all nodded.
"LIES, LIES!" The yoshis chanted. The red Yoshi, who seemed to be their leader gestured them to cease.
"I know they're lying." He told them.
"No we're not. Untie me and I'll show you."
"How do I know you won't run off the moment I do?" He questioned.
"We won't, we swear! Then again, we really have to do this, so we might."
"Then I shall not untie you or your friends!"
"But you must; if you don't, I'll have you all arrested. I'll tell the police about you." The leader gestured for a green Yoshi to approach him. The Yoshi did.
"Check his pockets!" He told him. The Yoshi nodded and stuck his tongue in Stan's pocket. Stan laughed.
"Stop it; you're tickling me!" The tongue then pulled out Stan's CIA badge. He stopped laughing and gasped as he saw the badge, given to him by Director Avery Bollock, get eaten.
"My CIA badge; you let him eat it; why?!"
"You're not an agent without your badge." The leader told him. Stan scowled at him.
"YOU SON OF A JERK!"
"You might get it back." The green Yoshi then shot an egg out of its butt. Stan looked disgusted.
"Eww!" The leader lifted his own spear to the sky.
"Now, come on! Let's burn them!"
"YEAH!" The yoshis shouted, pumping their fists with their spears. The agents all gulped.
"This doesn't look good." The CIA agent told them.