Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight. I do however, own Hikaru Yamashita. I also don't own Haruhi Suzumiya
Interview: Bella Sue
The clean office smelt funny to Bella as she sat down in the long couch with plastic plants on either side. The smell was almost like that of a wet feline and made her almost decide to get up and leave. However, something made her instead choose to stay and she then heard the intercom go off and allow her to step into the room. "Ms. Yamashita will see you now."
At that, Bella stepped into the other room, closing the door behind her, suddenly hearing a loud click in the door as she did so. Her mind didn't register this as a problem as she turned to the female who was supposed to interview her, only to stop completely still as she did so. "Excuse me, but I think I will be leaving now."
For right in front of her was a female dressed in a black business suit cut to fit her figure and a tan trench coat that was lighter then the color of the females skin. Her short, pale blond hair was wet, as if she had just taken a shower and her brown eyes sparkled at Bella. That though, wasn't the problem. The problem were the two cat ears on top of her head that twitched with excitement.
"Come now, you can at least stay for the line of questioning, right?" The female chirped out, excitement in her voice. "We're here to determine if you are a Mary Sue."
"Mary Sue? My name is Bella Swan." At that, the young female turned towards the other.
"Mary Sue is a literary term. When you crossed over that door frame, you left your literary realm and entered mine. Of course, I know that I am made up, but then this is a realm where people know that they only exist within the readers imagination." The cat person suddenly licked one of her hands, causing the brown haired female to shudder.
"Stop talking nonsense. I am very much real." Bella snapped out, her eyes narrowing.
"Why then did you not call your self Bella Cullen just a few minutes ago?" The cat person sigh.
At that, Bella pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number. "Hello? Sorry, the connections bad... I'll try again." Frustration was all over her face.
Hikaru shook her head at this. "Sorry, but while your phone can pick up the internet from your world, it can't pick up things like phone service. You won't be able to go home, unless you are able to convince me that you are not a Mary Sue."
"I don't know what that term means." Bella flipped open her phone and began to search the net, something she rarely if ever did. The term Mary Sue popped up. "Ahh, Marry Sue is apparently the perfect character. They have no flaws and are absolutely perfect. I am klutzy and my looks are plain."
"Deary me..." The female cat person narrowed her eyes suddenly. "I forgot that your internet is controlled by your ability to control reality in your world, so it would come up with the answer that best fits your needs. However, that answer you got is in reality a misconception of the facts and not what the term means."
"And it means what?" The female narrowed her eyes, her mouth grim, but that seemed to always be her expression when dealing with people.
"Not believable." The cat person stated firmly.
"I have an argument against that. Let's say that my world is in fact, not real, then we can safely assume that it doesn't matter if something is real or not, right?" Bella folded her arms across her chest, a look of triumph spreading across her face.
"Sorry, but reality and believability do not mean the same thing." Hikaru tapped her fingers against the desk. "Think of it like a magicians trick. The people in the audience know it isn't real magic, but they find themselves believing the illusion."
"Well, if one thinks about it, you can't possibly be a real character, or believable for that matter." The brown haired female retorted, her mouth twisting up slightly from frustration.
"In this world, people with cat ears do exist. The reader can believe that they exist since the writer makes it clear that they do exist." The feline licked her hand again.
"I am not following you. I exist, so I must be believable." Bella retorted.
"Existing is only one part of believability." Yamashita let out a deep sigh. "I am going to ask you, what is your flaw?"
"I am clumsy." At that, the female took a seat in a chair.
"Why are you clumsy?" The cat person asked.
"Because I am." Bella laughed at this. "It is a fact that I am that way."
"No, it is not a fact that you are a clumsy person." The cat person folded her arms across her chest. "See, you may have accidents at times, but there are times that you should have accidents that a truly klutzy person should have them. The times you are klutzy, it is to make people pay attention to you and like you. Flaws aren't like that.
"Actually, I am not well liked. I am a really plain girl who no one notices." The female stated firmly, trying to surmount an argument.
"If nobody noticed you, why then do so many guys fall for you and why does an entire school act like you are a news worthy event? It may be a small town, but a transfer student is not that big of a deal." The cat person folded her arms.
"Well, my personality is a believable one."
"I will admit you have a believable personality, but the problem lies in the fact that no one reacts to you the way that they should. No one acts like you have a nasty personality, they act like you have a completely nice one." At that, the female got up and walked out of the room. "You can try again to explain to me why you aren't a Mary Sue. However, at this point, you can't go back to your world."
At that, Bella heard the door unlock and she got up and headed out of the door. She stepped through the other office door, only to find herself not in the place that she entered by. The place was way to sunny for her liking and she turned to someone near her. "Where am I?"
"Forks." The man piped up.
"The weather... is rather nice." Swan wished she had some sunglasses.
"It is always nice like this. It tends to not be overly cloudy and when it rains, it tend to be a drizzle. Only sometimes to we get really bad, really windy weather." At that point, he walked away.
Author's note – Here is the first satirical piece I am doing for this account. Hope you enjoyed.