FADE IN:
INT. SPENCER'S BEDROOM-DAY
SPENCER SUTTON, a sullen 17 year old beauty, lies atop her bed dressed in a chic but understated ensemble, her eyes glazed open in a morning reverie. She blows up at her brown curls then slides off her bed, launching into voice-over narration over the empty bed.
SPENCER (V.O.)
Heather told me she teaches people real life.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY-DAY
Continuing her narration, SPENCER glides through a bustling high school hallway with a frozen smile.
SPENCER (V.O.)
She said real life sucks Losers dry. If you want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE CAFETERIA-DAY
With her back turned to the viewer, SPENCER stands at the outskirts of the cafeteria entrance. The viewer's viewpoint approaches and finally curls around SPENCER to reveal that she is writing in a diary, wearing a monocle.
SPENCER (V.O.)
I said so you teach people how to spread their wings and fly. She said Yes.
THE DIARY PAGE
SPENCER'S pen sways across the diary page forming the words echoed by her voice-over.
SPENCER (V.O.)
I said you're Beautiful.
A sudden off-screen bark from HEATHER MCNORMA causes the pen to recklessly rocket across the written words.
HEATHER MCNORMA (O.S.)
Gawd, come on Spencer!
Spencer coolly pops the monocle from her eye before angrily addressing the amusingly robust, conventionally beautiful, trendily coiffed HEATHER MCNORMA.
SPENCER
What's your damage, Heather? You ruined my...
HEATHER MCORMA
Gawd, I'm so sure. Don't blame me, blame Heather. She told me to haul your ass into the caf pronto. Back me up, Heather.
From behind HEATHER MCNORMA emerges a similarly trendily accessorized but noticeably more inhibited waif, HEATHER DUKE. She is clutching a tattered copy of "The Catcher in the Rye."
HEATHER DUKE
Yeah, she really wants to talk to you.
SPENCER
Okay, I'm going, I'm going. Jesus...
INT. INSIDE THE CAFETERIA-DAY
SPENCER flanked by HEATHER MCNORMA and HEATHER DUKE, strides into the lunchroom pandemonium.
The stunning HEATHER CHANDLER turns from the tray before her toward her incoming comrades. She is dressed stylishly and expensively but not trendily; her hair, dramatically tied back.
SPENCER
(Rolls her eyes ) Heather, so wonderful to see you …..
HEATHER CHANDLER
Croak on the sarcasm Spence. Today is our first day back as the 11th grade leaders of this …. monstrosity of a place and I want to make sure we're all prepared to come back in style.
SPENCER
Actual human beings please? I don't speak Barbie you know.
HEATHER DUKE
The bon-fire ….. what are you wearing?
SPENCER
You know, some jeans, Keds and my 'I could give three shits' tee shirt.
HEATHER CHANDLER
(Scoff) You can't be serious
SPENCER
Or can I?
HEATHER CHANDLER
If you even attempt social suicide like that I will gladly kill you myself. (She looked over at Heather McNorma who was eating and slid her lunch tray away from her and into the trashcan)
HEATHER DUKE
Careful Hefty, you might be gasp (and fake gasps) digesting.
SPENCER
Don't listen to them H, the world needs more Adriana L than Kate Moss'.
HEATHER DUKE
More like a donut powdered Precious.
Just as HEATHER MCNORMA was about to speak three guys walk up. One with dimples and curly brown hair sits next to HEATHER CHANDLER and kisses her.
HEATHER CHANDLER
See Heft, if you were pushing the stair master instead of twinkies and donut holes you too can be dating one of the most popular guys in school instead of settling for tongue twister with the band geeks.
SPENCER SUTTON
It's not settling if she's their one and only. (She shot HC a death glare before looking at HD and TW)
HEATHER DUKE
(Silently gasps and looks at Spencer) Gawd Sutton, why do you have to be such a cactus?
SPENCER
Pry that one from up your ass and maybe I'll tell you
DIRK
(Laughs) We need to come over to this table more often.
HEATHER CHANDLER
Sorry hun, Heathers only.
All three boys looked at Spencer and laughed.
SPENCER
I'm a hot enough exception.
RAM
That you are. (He smirked and licked his lip biting it and giving him her award-winning smile and putting his arm around her tiny waist.)
SPENCER
Move it or lose it (she raised her eyebrow and watched him move his arm from around her, running his fingers through his hair.)
TRISTAIN
So anyway babe, (he laughed and turned his attention from his friend to HC) instead of the bonfire thing, let's do something else. (He smirked and bit his lip)
HEATHER MCNORMA
You want us to miss the bonfire?
HEATHER CHANDLER
He didn't invite us, he asked me. (She rolled her eyes at 'Hefty' and smiled at TW) Go on.
TRISTAIN
Well, we've been dating a couple of years –
HEATHER CHANDLER
Four.
TRISTAIN
And…. There are some things I want to talk about. (He played with a brown curl that was in his hair.)
HEATHER CHANDLER
Perfect. (She kissed him and watched as he and his friends left. Giving the girls a look.)
INT. SPENCER SUTTON'S BEDROOM-DAY
SPENCER scrambles through her clothes wearing only underwear and talking on the phone. Shot to 3-way screen showing the same image 3 times of HEAHTER DUKE and HEATHER MCNORMA doing the same thing in their bedrooms.
HEATHER DUKE
He's not even that into her.
HEATHER MCNORMA
You would know;
HEATHER DUKE
Come on, me and T are not that close.
HEATHER MCNORMA
You looked pretty close behind the football bleachers.
HEATHER DUKE
Before or after he was hugged up with the wicked bitch?
HEATHER MCNORMA
Both.
SPENCER
Duke, your like the modern, who has even done that?
HEATHER MCNORMA
Hopefully someone that took 2nd grade grammar. (She said in a joking tone and laughed.)
HEATHER DUKE
And now I'm forced to go to this BF of BS and she gets to spend the night with him.
SPENCER
And I'm just burning with excitement.
SPENCER hangs up and walks to her front porch wearing only her underwear and a small robe. She peaked out of the door scanning to see if anyone was around before slow running to the mailbox. She stood for a moment before being startled by a voice.
JASON DEAN
Looking for someone special?
SPENCER
(Jumps a bit and rolls her eyes) Who are you?
JASON DEAN
Just a person, new student at Westerburg. And you my friend are a Heather?
SPENCER
I am not a friend. And you could not be more wrong. I'm a Spencer.
JASON DEAN
In this society, is that a good thing?
SPENCER
It's the best thing you can be.
JASON DEAN
From what I've seen a 'Spencer' is just able to blend. Like camouflage
SPENCER
More like Kamikaze.
HEATHER CHANDLER
No thanks, I'd rather you two shot me while I know it's coming.
JASON DEAN
Well if it isn't the Head Heather herself.
HEATHER CHANDLER
In the god damn flesh
SPENCER SUTTON
Wait, you two know each other?
HEATHER rolled her eyes and JASON smirked.
JASON DEAN
Old chums
SPENCER SUTTON
Why are you even here?
JD
Me or her? (He said gesturing over to HC)
SPENCER
I'd like to why both of you are sneaking around my house at night. I'd like you to know, it makes you both creeps.
HEATHER
In case you forgot, I live right across the street. Anyways, I came over to help you pick out an outfit for the bonfire; in cause you didn't understand how serious I was earlier. I'd hate for you to embarrass us.
JD
And well, I was just being a creep I guess. I live right next door now, lucky you. (He smiled) Do you come out here to get the mail every night? I'd just like to know for future reference.
SPENCER
First, f-ck off. (She said, flipping him off before turning to HC) I appreciate your offer, but I am going to wear whatever I want.
HEATHER CHANDLER
(laughs lightly) I adore your feistiness Spence; unfortunately I won't have any of my girls looking like they belong on fashion police's most wanted tomorrow.
SPENCER
(Rolls her eyes) Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not a Heather. Which means I'm not your little bitch. So-
JD
(Interrupts) So, is this going to end in a catfight, or what?
SPENCER
Why are you still here… uhm?
JD
Jason. Jason Dean
SPENCER
Well, please excuse yourself. We have very important things to discuss.
JD
Oh my, I wish I could hear about the all the exciting things you guys are going to talk about. (He sighed) I'd love to talk about rainbows and butterflies all night. (He said, his tone very sarcastic) Unfortunately, I have a life. So, I'll see you both later. And you'll see me outside your window tomorrow. (He winked at Spencer before walking across the lawn to his house)
SPENCER
(Rolls her eyes and looks in the direction JD was )
HEATHER CHANDLER
There are more important things that should be on your mind then Professor Hair Gel.
SPENCER
That sounds more like your boyfriend. (She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms walking into her house.) How do you know that guy? I thought the closest you'd ever get to grunge was watching Johnny Depp in 'Edward Scissor Hands.'
HEATHER CHANDLER
(Sits on Spencer's bed and looked through the clothes she still had on her floor.) Very true. I wouldn't dare touch that guy.
SPENCER
Then how do you know him?
HEATHER CHANDLER
Does everything have to be a Carolyn Keen novel with you?
SPENCER
You make life like an episode of the Young and the Sexless so what's going on? (She rolled her eyes.) Who is he?
HEATHER CHANDLER
He used to live in Atlanta. Remember I used to visit all the time? Well he hung out outside of the 7-11 all the time and he saw me and instantly fell in love. (She flipped her hair)
SPENCER
Like every delusional horny boy in Colorado.
HEATHER CHANDLER
What the f-ck is your damage Spencer? Lately you've been acting sort of –
SPENCER
Real?
HEATHER CHANDLER
No I was gonna say bitchy. And I was also gonna say I'm sick of it.
SPENCER
Wanna know what I'm sick of? –
HEATHER CHANDLER
(Interrupts) Sorry S, I'd have to care. You wanted to be a member of the most powerful clique in school. If I weren't already the head of it, I'd want the same thing. But all I can say now is, if you blow it tomorrow night, girl, and it's keggers with kids all next year.
SPENCER
You won't even be there. What does it matter?
HEATHER CHANDLER
(Rolls her eyes and puts a pile of clothes on her bed.) Blue Lacroiks blazer, White blouse, Black trousers, Black Wellington boots. It's simple so you can't fuck it up.
Camera shots to the license plate reading 'SUTTONS' and reveals a black Aston Martin DB2 pulling up to the Westerburg parking lot and revealing SPENCER'S blue bow and long brown hair. She walked past the other students and people gawking and to the football field sitting on a red blanket and smirking at HEATHER DUKE and HEATHER MCNORMA rolling her eyes at RAM and DIRK.
RAM
Ah, there she is. (Smirks and looks at Spencer, high-fiving DIRK)
SPENCER
(Rolls her eyes and looks at the girls raising her eyebrow.) Where's Westerburg's wicked bitch?
HEATHER MCNORMA
(Laughs and plays with her hair.) With her noble prince of coarse.
HEATHER DUKE
Oh shoot me. (She stood up and rolled her eyes putting her hands on her hips and looked around the party.)
DIRK
Just give me a time and place. (Leans forward and slaps her butt.)
HEATHER DUKE
(Gasps and slaps his arm) Stop it Dick!
HEATHER MCNORMA
You mean Dirk (Laughing)
RAM
She knows what she meant.
DIRK
Have it your way, H. (He smirked looking at Duke)
Camera shots to the back of the school in a red Lamborghini revealing HEATHER CHANDLER and TRISTAIN WEST. A very upset HEATHER slams the door shut and walks past TRISTAIN.
HEATHER CHANDLER
So that's what this was about? You wanted to dump me? Are you fucking serious? No one ever, EVER dumps Heather Marie Chandler.
TRISTAIN
H, no never! I don't want to break up.
HEATHER CHANDLER
You are right; You don't want to break up. (She inched closer to him giving him a death glare and crossing her arms) So I'm going to say it. We're over! (She stormed off into the crowd followed by an upset, pleading Tristain.)
Just as the former couple walked over to the red HEATHER'S blanket, SPENCER stood up with her red cup about to get a drink, seeing JASON DEAN.
SPENCER
JD, JD, JD. Spiking the drinks? So American Pie of you.
JASON DEAN
Sutton. (He smirked checking her out, noticing her rocker t-shirt and jeans with her combat boots and plaid button up tied around her waist.) You don't look very 'Heather'. (He motioned to the group of girls who were dressed for a Gossip Girl audition, rather than a high school bon-fire in Colorado.)
SPENCER
I told you, I'm not a clone.
JASON DEAN
½ the female population at Westerburg want what you have.
SPENCER
Well I could care less.
JASON DEAN
I will never understand what the hell is so special about those blonde bimbos I mean—
SPENCER
(Cocked her head to the side and put her hands on her hip.) Watch it, those are my friends.
JASON DEAN
Well, I don't really like your friends.
SPENCER
Neither do I.
JASON DEAN
What do you mean?SPENCER
I only really like them sometimes. Like, holiday's when Heather C finally shows how much about you she actually knows and how much she actually appreciates your presence in her life. (She rolls her eyes.) It's like they are my co-workers and our job is being popular and shit.
JASON DEAN
Maybe its time to take a vacation. (He smirked putting his arm around her)
SPENCER
Tomorrow, I'll be kissing her aerobic zed ass, but tonight, let me dream of a world without Heather, a world where I am free.
JASON DEAN
Hm, in that case raise a plastic cup and meet me at the swing set across the street.
SPENCER
(Fake gasps) Leaving now would be social suicide. (She smirks and hears Heather Duke scream from the other side o the field.) Be there in ten. (She drunk his drink and gave him the cup running over to the Heather's blanket hearing a big commotion and seeing Heather McNorma crying)
SPENCER
Hun, what's wrong?
HEATHER MCNORMA
(Sobbing) Hea-Hea-Hea
SPENCER
(Looked at Heather and sighed looking around and gasping when she saw an ambulance pull up and bring out a very unconcince Heather Chandler on a stretcher.) NO! NO! SHE'S OK? SHE'S OK right!?
HEATHER MCNORMA
I – I don't know. (Crying)
HEATHER DUKE
(Walks from between the crowd with a worried face.) What's going on?
HEATHER MCNORMA
(Crying and shaking her head.)
The camera shoots to the three girls hugging and looking up to the bon-fire.
PAGE'S 11