Spencer had finally managed to get the emotional strength to leave his house and go to the Oakhill Cemetery. Maeve had been dead for two weeks now. The only time Spencer had managed to leave his house for any purpose other than to get food was when he went to Maeve's funeral. The other people in attendance had stared at him, partially because they had no idea who the stranger at their friend's funeral was, and partially because Spencer looked like death barely warmed over.
As he sat on the soil in front of her headstone, he vaguely wished that he had thought to buy flowers. During his eighth conversation with Maeve, she had mentioned that orchids were her favorite flower. Spencer idly dug his fingers into the soil next to him to give his hands something to do. He was having problems with Dilaudid cravings, and when left unchecked, he would knead the skin at the crease of his elbow until it turned bright red.
He had only been at the cemetery for half an hour when he heard footsteps behind him. He silently berated himself for not bringing his Smith and Wesson with him. That feeling changed when Morgan's voice rang out,
"I had a feeling you might be here."
Anger welled up in Spencer as quick as lightning, and he was slightly taken aback by it. But then again, who did Morgan think he was, intruding on Spencer's mourning like this? He had finally ventured out of his apartment and this is where it had landed him. He stood up quickly and turned to face Morgan.
"Why are you here?" he asked, his voice cold.
"We're all worried about you, man," Morgan answered. "You won't answer your phone for anybody and JJ and Penelope can't get you to answer the door, either."
"That's because my grief is none of your business." Spencer knew that rationally, he had absolutely nothing to be angry about. His friends were worried about him and they wanted to make sure that he was alright. That still didn't stop the emotional thoughts that caused him anger. He was angry that no one had shot Diana before she could pull the trigger and send a bullet through her brain and into Maeve's skull.
Morgan sighed, and Spencer braced himself for the words he knew were about to come out of Derek's mouth. "Reid, it's not like we don't know what you're going through. All of us have lost someone." Spencer opened his mouth to say something, but Morgan trudged on. "I lost my father, Penelope lost her parents. Hotch lost Haley, JJ lost her sister. Rossi lost Carolyn, and we all lost Emily." Derek stepped closer. "You're not alone in this, man."
All of the anger melted out of Spencer in two seconds flat, and he had to bite his lip to keep from crying. He had done enough crying in the past two weeks to last a lifetime. "I just don't know what to do, Morgan." Derek put his hand on Spencer's shoulder.
"Just remember that you don't have to do it alone."