A short story that follows the HRE=Germany theory.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia.
"I'm still here while he had to die- Big brother France just killed him without a second thought and... And you-" a finger was pointed towards Austria, "you watched him die! You could have done something and all you did was let him bleed to death in front of you!"
"Italy-chan-"
"Don't 'Italy-chan' me Prussia! You're just as bad! He was your little brother! He was so young and you just sent him off to die! You'd do the same to Germany now too, wouldn't you?! If it meant saving your own skin, if it meant you got to live another century- and it didn't! You aren't even a stupid country now and he deserves to be! Why couldn't you have just died instead?!" Italy stormed off, anger and sadness literally rolling off of him. The two men stood together, dumbfounded for a moment before Prussia let out a chuckle. It grew within moments, turning into a laugh that bounced around the corridors. Tears were forming at the edges of his ruby eyes, threatening to spill over.
"Pr-Prussia, are you sure now is a good time to be laughing?" Austria set a hand on his friends shoulder and the German regained his composure.
"Ja... It is a good time to laugh. I thought... All this time I blamed myself too. If I had just been there to protect him when Napoleon came... Maybe the world would be a different place now, if Holy Rome was still here instead of me..." A few tears found their way down Gilbert's face, completely clashing with the grin he was giving.
"I don't think Italy knows... The truth that is..."
"What truth?"
"Don't tell me you've never looked at West and thought- seriously? You didn't know either?" Prussia chuckled again, "Just don't take the blame for the fall of Holy Rome. No one should hold that weight on their shoulders. I've got to make sure Italy knows that too..."
"Bruder... Why are you crying? I've never seen you so upset before..."
"It's nothing West. Just... Nothing..." He couldn't keep his voice from cracking. It had happened so long ago and yet- the wound was still so fresh.
"Bruder this isn't nothing!"
"You... You wouldn't understand. You may be a country, but there is still so much you have to do. There are things I've done-" his voice broke as another sob worked its way out, "Just don't concern yourself with me... Bitte..."
He sounded so broken inside... Ludwig sat next to his brother and put an arm around his shoulder, "I'm not going anywhere Bruder. That's not what I do. That's not how you raised me."
"No, but it's not like I should make a difference. I came into your life when you were already half grown. I couldn't have been that much if an impact..."
"Bruder, do you not remember-?"
"I remember too much... There is so much I wish I could just forget... But then-" he sniffed and let out a half-hearted chuckle, "then I would make the same mistake with you, and I couldn't live with myself if that happened..."
"What mistake, Bruder?"
"You know... You know you weren't my only bruder, right? Vater had so many kids... The fact that he raised only us... Well, my first little bruder and I... He knew we'd become something... It's funny how much you look like them..." there was a tense pause and Germany wondered if his Bruder would continue before Prussia took a deep breath.
"My first bruder... He was a fine little country. Austria helped govern it und..."
"Bruder, are you talking about Holy Rome...?"
"Ja... But... He was the first to get in France's way once Napoleon rose to power... He was- he wasn't very strong. He had beat France a few times before, but whatever Napoleon did to that country, it was nothing like the France you know now..."
"Bruder I-"
"Und I just stayed in my corner of the world, fighting the Polish und Lithuanians, Russia, and Austria. I didn't even- I wasn't there-" fat drops of saline began to cascade down Prussia's face again. Germany stood for a moment, Prussia thinking it was merely because he couldn't stand to be near such a coward. When a box of tissues was shoved in front of his face, his hands untangled themselves from his hair and Gilbert looked up. On Germany's face was a smile that most didn't get the chance to see, the smile Prussia had only seen one other time, when he first met the younger nation.
"Bruder, don't cry. It's an order, okay?" The smile lingered, Germany's eyes finally opening, "und there's something I guess I need to tell you. I never thought you didn't know..."
"Italy-chan..." Prussia rapped lightly at the wooden door frame.
"Wh-what do you want, stupid buttface?"
"Hey, I'm not a buttface! I'm far too gorgeous for that!" Prussia stepped into the room, side-stepping a book Italy decided to chuck.
"Feli, please don't-"
"Don't even call me that!"
"I'm going to call you something, and obviously Italy doesn't seem to be getting through," Prussia took a deep breath. He was of no use if he couldn't simply talk to Italy instead of arguing with him, "Can you please listen to what I have to say?"
"N-no! Because you're just going to lie to me and-"
"I wouldn't lie to you. It's not my thing to tell lies. You know that more than just about anyone else. All those things you swore me to secrecy on, I still haven't told him. Can you find it in your heart to trust me at least one more time?"
Italy continued to glare at Prussia, but moved over on the bed so his elder had a place to sit.
"Danke," Prussia leaned back and grabbed at his knees, staring at the ceiling, "where should I start this...?"
"Maybe at the beginning," Gilbert flinched unintentionally. Italy had never sounded so cold. Ever.
"The beginning is too far back. My Vater raised... my little Bruder und I, just how your grandpa raised you und Romano. But, what I forgot to take into consideration was how many siblings I actually had. More than just little Bruder, who you knew as Holy Rome. And I never took them into consideration. I focused on raising little Roma after Vater died..."
"Where are you going with this," Italy cut in with a sharp tone.
"Be quiet and you'll see..." Prussia leaned forward this time, focusing on the thread count of the rug beneath him, "you say you never saw Holy Rome again?" Prussia could hear Italy sniff, "I thought I hadn't either. I thought my insolence was what caused him to die at France's hands und... I thought my little bruder was one of those I had forgotten about und... I'm just such a damned fool, aren't I Feli?"
"Couldn't have said it any better..."
"You sound so much like Romano... You're lucky to have such a loving older brother. I wish I hadn't been the oldest sometimes... I know West would appreciate that..." Prussia sighed, "But I'm off topic now. No, what I've bee trying to say is that we were wrong. For a long time."
"What do you mean we?"
"We both thought Holy Rome was dead... Und I just gave up like I had with all of my other little bruders und sweisters, because I knew I couldn't save them either..." A tear rolled down his face before Prussia realized it and wiped the stain away, "Vater was right about bruder being something. He's still here you know... He was so strong, to live through France and my negligence... How does West still put up with me?" Prussia rested his head on laced fingers. The bed shifted beside him, a slender hand placing itself on his shoulder.
"W-West? Ger-Germany-San is..." Prussia looked up, into the caramel brown eyes of his younger friend. They had filled with tears again, but were so full of hope and-
"Ja... West and Roma, they're-" he couldn't finish. Italy wrapped his arms around Prussia, burying his face into the elder's shoulder.
"Th-thank you so so so much. Prussia just... Thank you. Thank you so much," Feliciano kept repeating himself, grasping on to the still startled Prussia.
"Ja... Just... Just don't act like it was your entire fault, okay? You're still here because the world needs you. Und if you und Holy Rome had really tried to revive the Roman Empire... Things might be a lot worse. So don't take any blame, Italy-chan, okay?" The sobbing Italian nodded forcefully as Prussia wrapped him in a hug, Feli's face buried in his chest and Gilbert stroking auburn locks absently.
"Do you want to go talk to West?" Italy made not a sound, but nodded, "I thought so. Come on," Prussia grabbed Italy's hand and led him out of the room and down endless halls.
"You see why I don't want you to cry? I'm still here. So stop trying to blame yourself for something that didn't happen. Don't blame yourself for the silly careless mistakes you've made, because all you can do is learn from them. B-Bruder, I told you not to cry!"
It was an order he couldn't follow. Just the wave of sheer relief that this was indeed his little bruder that Vater had also raised, that Holy Rome was still alive as Germany, that he wasn't a complete waste of a big brother...
"Just talk to West, okay? He'll tell you exactly what I said. Und then you can hug all over him und you two can act like little kids again," the albino hugged Italy one last time before patting his back and smiling. They were slowly healing, not forgetting, but lessoning the pain of centuries, and all learning to release the weight of the blame.