Hi again! Anyone remember me? I'm back for Valentine's day, just to keep me occupied between essays.

Ok, I have taken some liberties here – more than I normally do – concerning characters. For example, I don't think Gwen would really go this far in meddling with other people's relationships, but for this to work I needed her to. Also, thanks to the Shakespearean aspect, everyone jumps to conclusions a little quicker than they normally do, but I'm sure you can think of some appropriate Torchwood reason for this if you find it troubling. Work stress, for example, and perhaps general relationship uncertainty. Who knows? Most of this doesn't really come in until chapter two, but I thought I'd state it all now.

Also – and I should state this now – what with tuition fees and uni bills and what-not, I haven't yet been able to buy Torchwood. It still belongs to whoever currently owns it (I'm a little hazy about who does own it at the moment, but it's theirs alright, whether I like it or not.) Clear?

Ok. Here's the actual chapter.

A Simple Plan

It was a simple plan. Nothing could go wrong with a simple plan. Well, unless it was a Torchwood plan, which could be as well-laid as the base of the Pyramids and still somehow fail. But this wasn't a Torchwood plan and this wasn't Torchwood business, even if she did plan to get Jack on her side. This was about Tosh and Owen and it was personal business, though Torchwood did tend to compromise things a bit.

"Jack?"

Jack looked down at Gwen. It wasn't often she was the last one out. That almost definitely meant she was asking for something. "Yes?" He asked warily. "I've already said, I can't afford to let any of you take the day off-"

"It's not about me." Gwen took a deep breath. "It's about Tosh and Owen."

A grin lit Jack's features as understanding dawned. "What are you planning?"

"Nothing much."

"Then why are you asking for my help?"

Gwen puffed up. "Who said I was asking for your help?"

"Fine. I guess I'll just leave then."

"No. I need…. It would be helpful if you could buy some flowers. Will you do that?"

"Of course." Jack's smile was softer this time. He would love to see another relationship in his team, and if it cheered Tosh up… "Who are these flowers, err, from?"

"Owen to Tosh. Don't get anything too big or fancy. I would do it, but I'm going to be busy with something else."

"Tosh to Owen?"

"Yeah." Gwen replied shyly. "Don't worry, I won't overdo it." She had a plan.

Gwen knew exactly what kind of things Tosh would write to Owen, because she had once – well 'found' was probably a good term for it, if not strictly accurate – she had one 'found' one of Tosh's attempts to do so. She thought Tosh sometimes forgot that throwing something in the bin was not quite as permanent as deleting it on a computer. Mind you, for her sake it might as well be. Owen would hardly go rummaging round in a bin unless it was completely necessary, and certainly not just on a whim.

So she'd written out a short note, hesitant, tentative and unsigned. It was a close to Tosh's hand as she could make it. Gwen was actually a surprisingly good forger – she had trained young, starting off with all those 'parental signatures' needed at school. Not as good as Ianto, of course, who could now make so accurate a copy of Jack's signature that UNIT had recently sent one of the few letters Jack had actually signed himself back so that he could verify that it wasn't a forgery. But she hadn't wanted to get Ianto involved in this too. He would probably think it was unfair, tricking Tosh and Owen like this. But they both needed it.

God, Valentines Day and he was still working. Not that he actually cared about Valentines day – it was far too soppy for his tastes – but no doubt Jack and Ianto were still having a 'lie-in', and most likely Gwen as well. And now somebody too lazy to get their arse out of bed had left him a note on his desk, most probably telling him what work he had to get on with while they carried on enjoying themselves. Gits.

'Owen.

I'm sorry. You probably don't want this letter. But I just thought that maybe we got off on the wrong footing before. I've known you for a long time now, and things haven't changed. So if you feel that way too perhaps we could try starting again, if you want to.'

Owen blinked. An anonymous love-confession hadn't been what he was expecting. Not anonymous for long he thought, brightening up. There's only two people who could have sent that – well, I damn well hope there's only two – and I bet I can work out which one it was.

But Owen's first thoughts didn't turn to handwriting analysis of the guiltily, apologetically-scrawled note. They turned to a different method entirely. And that was when Gwen's plans started to fall apart.

Please review. I need to know if this is actually working!