He was crazy.
Absolutely bonkers.
One hundred per cent insane.
What in the name of bloody Merlin was he doing?
Asking Lily Evans to marry him at the mere age of eighteen?
It was ridiculous.
This was ridiculous.
Here he was, James Potter, Marauder, Chaser, etcetera, etcetera, sitting in a restaurant for pansies (as Sirius would call it) with a velvet box in his pocket and his hands shaking under the table!
Nervously, James wiped his hands on his itchy trousers and said, after a moment of hesitation, "Lily, if you don't mind, I'm just going to pop to the loo."
Lily's mouth opened as if she was going to say something, (probably, thought James, to ask what the hell he was doing) and then shut it like she had thought better of it. Instead, she gave him a small smile and nodded.
Merlin. The glittering of her eyes when she smiled only made the situation worse.
James needed help.
He walked quickly to the disabled toilet and snapped the door shut behind them. He took a deep breath, and then strode over to the mirror where he looked at his reflection.
He was a mess. All sweaty and shaky, it was no wonder that Lily kept looking at him strangely.
He decided to give himself a pep talk. "James Potter." He began, "You are a strong and brave Gryffindor and Marauder. Can you imagine how much teasing you'll get from Pads if he finds out about this?" He shuddered involuntarily. The teasing would be never ending. "Exactly. Now you are going to get your arse back out there and-"
He was cut off by the click of a lock turning and the entrance of Lily.
"James?" Lily sounded genuinely worried, "Are you okay?"
James shook his head without even realising that he was doing so. "No," muttered James, then in a louder voice he said, "Lily, can we get out of here?"
"I don't understand. What's happened? Is it…is it one of the boys?" Lily chewed on her lip and James became even more agitated.
"No," James said again, "I just…I've got to tell you something and I thought I could tell you here but I really, really can't." He let out a breath he'd been holding and spoke again, "I'm sorry, Lily. But I have to show you."
And before Lily could say anything else, James had taken her hand and Disapparated.
They arrived in a park that Lily did not recognise. It was a relatively warm night, but Lily shivered anyway as the beautiful dress that she was wearing happened to be sleeveless.
Feeling the shiver that she gave, James immediately took off his dinner jacket and placed it affectionately over Lily's shoulders.
Lily looked up at him and smiled gently. "Will you tell me here? And where are we?"
"Yes," replied James, "We're in the park that I practically grew up in." He was much more relaxed here and he seemed to relish in the freedom of the summer air versus the stuffiness of the posh restaurant.
James guided Lily to a nearby set of swings. Lily sat on one and James sat on the other. Their hands dangled in between the two, eternally bonded in love.
This was it.
It was now or never.
"Lily Evans, I have been in love with you for a long time. You and I, we have a lot of history. You've broken my heart and then put it back together. You've been there for me, I've been there for you. And I want you to know, Lily, that I'll always be there for you. Until the very end. Which is why…" At this point, James stood up to walk around until he was in front of Lily. She gasped as he got down on one knee and put his hand into his pocket, retrieving the velvet box.
"I know that we're in the middle of the war and I know that we could die soon. I'm scared, Lily, but we all are. And if I die tomorrow, I want to do it knowing that I was going to be married to the love of my life because Lily, I love you. So. Damn. Much. So," James took a deep breath, "Marry me, Evans?"
There was a slight pause as Lily stared from the ring to James and back again.
James began to panic and said quickly, "We don't have to get married now or anything. We can have, um, a long engagement? It's up to you. Or you know, you don't really have to-"
He was cut off (once more), this time by Lily's lips. She kissed him happily, and when they broke away, she gave him a grin and said, "Of course I'll marry you, you bloody prat!"
The soon-to-be Potters sat up together all night and morning, just talking (and kissing) and holding hands (and snogging).
Together, they watched the sun rise on their first day of engagement.
"James?" Lily asked after a lull in the conversation.
"Hmm?"
"Why were you so nervous about asking me?"
"I thought…I thought that you were going to say no, like you used to."
Lily turned to face him and it seemed to James that her vivid hair was blazing with the rising sun. "James. I am never, ever going to say no to you again. I love you too much for that."
James smiled and replied, "Good. Because I, Lily, am never going to stop loving you."