She appeared – hands clenched on her hips, dark brown eyebrows curling toward each other with concentration, enigmatic eyes swirling with emotion and focused completely on him – in his garage doorway dreadfully early in the morning; so dreadfully early that the dawn was outlined behind her delinquent curls. She just stayed there, outside the threshold as he lifted from his crouch, using his motorcycle for balance, and wiped his hands against his grungy jeans, trying to displace the ever present grease.
A knot began to tie in Emmett's throat as he took in her bloodshot, shadowed-from-lack-of-sleep eyes that were trained on him. (He could only think of how the darkness complimented her pearly skin). Though he was always ecstatic to see her (she still made his mind tremble; his hands shake; and his heart overspill with the sheer greatness that was Bay Kennish's presence), he couldn't help but feel apprehensive about her being in his garage this early on an already simmering summer morning. She never just decided to visit him anymore just to see him, she always had a reason why she was there.
He could think of no good reasons why she would be here now.
He lifted his hands, wondering just what to say to her, but Bay just shook her head at him, errant spirals framing her delicate face with the motion.
"I can't have you saying anything right now. What I really need is for you to shut up and listen to me, okay?"
Okay; because despite the strength of her words, she looked like she was about to shatter completely. Okay; because he was the best damn listener she knew, even though his ears didn't work and he had to read her quick-moving lips. Okay; because he would do anything she needed him to, except let her go.
Emmett nodded and gestured for her to continue. Disquiet filled him in the moments it took Bay to begin. He could feel it – in her, in him, in the sweltering air that filled the mere four feet between them. What 'it' was, he couldn't define. Whatever 'it' was, whatever emotion had brought her to him, he knew it was about to bring another massive alteration to their relationship. He could only hope that it was, finally, a change for the better. He was ready to forget past discretions and sweep her back into his arms; back to where she belonged.
"Emmett," she started, though the word was so light he barely saw her lips move. "I was really angry at you. There were moments when you would swell up in my mind and I would get this overwhelming need to destroy something just to get rid of the rage. For a long time, even before the switch was discovered and my life wasn't upside down and inside out, I thought I hated the world; I thought I was good at being angry because I always seemed to be pissed off at something in the world. And … you know what? Maybe I was good at it. But hating the world and loving someone who betrayed you are two wildly different things."
She gnawed ferociously at her lips, hands twisting and untwisting with pent-up energy. Emmett waited, nerves zapping about his body as he waited for her next words. His entire being was stuck on one thing: she'd said she loved him. It was all he'd ever wanted – to be loved, irrevocably, by Bay Kennish.
"That's the really difficult part," Bay admitted, tears blooming in her eyes as she revisited memories of the past; memories of what it was like right after he'd admitted what he'd done. "I never stopped loving you. I tried; oh my God, did I ever try. I ran away. I kissed wonderful boys who wouldn't break my heart because they were nice, wonderful boys who just wouldn't do something like that. But, I couldn't give my heart to them. I wanted to. I tried. But I knew what love felt like, and I couldn't be okay with simply liking someone anymore, or with having them just simply like me.
"Then Ty came back into my life. It seemed like fate. I'm not going to lie to you and say that I forced myself to be with Ty to forget you, because I didn't. That wasn't the case at all. Being with Ty was electric. And, it seemed perfect that he came back into my life. I'll admit, when I first saw him, after I was done being so thankful that he was alive, I thought he could take me back in time. Back when my biggest headache was Daphne; back when, even though the switch had just happened and everyone was at each other's throats, things seemed simpler; back when I was a simpler person. It's selfish, stupid, and naïve, I know. It didn't stay that way though. Quickly, I wanted to be with him because he was Ty and that was thrilling all on its own.
"A couple of things happened. I found out that he was going back overseas at the end of the month. It wasn't him who told me – I found out completely by accident. It was utter déjà vu. I was losing him, unexpectedly, all over again. It also got me thinking about the last time he left me, how I had planned on pining for him, and how you showed up and ruined that for me. And while I was thinking about you I felt … panicked. Don't ask me why, okay? I just did.
"But after the movie yesterday, the most amazing thing happened to me. He came up to me – and I didn't know if I wanted to see him because we'd been fighting and, technically, I guess we were broke up – but he walked right up to me and told me he loved me. It should have been magical; the kiss afterward should have been more mind-blowing than sex, but it wasn't. He was still Ty, he was still sensational, but being loved by him didn't mean as much as I thought it would. When he left for the first time, I begged him not to say it if he'd been planning to; I told him to tell me when he got back. I wanted to hear those words from him, because I'd never experienced a relationship like Ty at that point, but I didn't want to hear them because they were scary, you know? When we reconnected, when I realized I still felt for him, I thought I was waiting to hear those words. I thought that it wouldn't be scary anymore. I thought I was finally ready to be loved by Ty – a wonderful boy.
"So why did it mean so little when he finally said it? Why didn't I die of excitement and scream those three words back as soon as I heard him say them?
"I don't know. After he took me home, I was up all night thinking about it. And, about an hour ago, I realized all of the freaking roads lead back to you. Every piece of me now, somehow, leads back to you. I don't know how it happened, but you're everywhere, Emmett.
"So, I couldn't tell Ty I loved him, I couldn't love that Ty loved me, I couldn't be happy being loved by Ty and not being liked by Ty, because Ty isn't you. Ty's love isn't your love. Ty's electrifying but you're like burning. You're the first taste of hot chocolate when it's cold; the first day of summer. You're passion personified. And how in the hell can anyone else possibly live up to that?
"I told you I needed to fall for someone else. And I did: I fell; I jumped; I threw myself off of that damn cliff. And, at the end of it, you were still all I could see. Here's another bit of truth for you, I haven't been angry with you in a really long time. I just didn't know how to tell you, because I didn't think that I should be ready to forgive you. I didn't think that I should want to have you back in my life again, but I have. I've wanted you next to me but I couldn't admit it to myself. You cheated on me, and what kind of a girl goes running back to the guy who broke her heart?"
Bay wrapped her hand in her hair, casting her eyes downward, completely self-conscious. "So, after that long, rambling, confusing speech, I guess I should tell you why I'm here. I'm here because I called Ty this morning and I told him that I have to be fair; because he loves me, I have to let him go. And I had to let him go, because I'm still in love with you, I always have been in love with you. I'm here because I'm ready to be with you again, and I'm begging you to, please, take me back. I don't want to be without you anymore."
With unsure steps, Emmett made his way to her side. He didn't know how to react; how to think. He was in a state of incredulous disbelief. On the most mundane of early mornings, she had come back to him – the only thing he'd wanted since the day she'd left him. With trembling hands, Emmett brought his palms to her porcelain face, clearing away her flooding tears with the thick, calloused pads of his thumbs.
But while he was speechless Bay had, miraculously, not run out of words. Her trembling lips were still flying as she continued to over-explain herself.
"I know it's not fair to show up and demand for you to love me, but, hey, I'm bratty, selfish Bay, and I need you in my life. I'm so scared your feelings may have changed, or you've realized that I'm not worth your time, and effort, and feelings. But, please, I want to be. I've never concretely needed someone in the way I do you, and, Emmett, I –"
One of his hands slipped from her cheekbone to the tip of her chin, his index finger coming to rest against her pouty lips, silencing her so that he could catch up on all that had just occurred. As he cradled her face (how tiny it seemed in his rugged hands) he knew that he couldn't let go. The knot in his throat, that had only been tightening since she had arrived, swiftly unravelled, and he knew what he needed to do.
Emmett leaned so that their foreheads were resting together. He could feel her breath, whistling past his finger to caress his exposed skin. He looked down into her liquid eyes –soulful eyes – and was immediately lost in the depths of them; the depths of her.
He took a breath and spoke. "Bay, I love you."
Her hypnotizing eyes widened, before tears came rushing out of her closing eyes. She threw herself past his arms, into the security of his embrace, her body tight against his chest. Her arms wrapped against his neck as she clung to him; her fingers clenched in the fabric of his t-shirt, holding him as she sobbed. He felt a patch of wetness over his heart; her emotion pouring from her body. He bound his arms against her waist, kissed the top of her head, and held her, knowing that was all she needed from him right now.
After endless minutes of back-rubbing, crying, and internal assurances that this was reality, she was here, she finally lifted her head.
"Do you forgive me?"
There was nothing she needed to be forgiving for. He had made the mistake. He had betrayed her. He needed to be forgiven.
Emmett nodded, freeing one of his hands to make a few quick gestures.
"Yes, I forgive you." She took one of her hands, running along his jawline across his lips; rememorizing his face. "Emmett … will you kiss me?"
And, without further ado, their lips met, and they were one again.
I don't own anything recognizable. This is unbetaed so I hope there are no mistakes (I read it over a few times, but, hey, I'm human).
~TLL~
