Summery: Harry is adopted by Hans Gruber.

HP/Die Hard

Harry has the power of the first villain, Tomonage, from the manga Aphorism. You don't need to have read it; I explain what the power does. No other elements from that manga show up, I just needed a flexible piece of magic that would work for the character I wanted.

Inspired by Arawn D. Draven's fics. Also Inspired by the fact that Alan Rickman plays both Snape and Gruber.

Harold Gruber

Harry grunted as his back slammed into the wall of his cupboard.

"You little freak! If I ever hear of you stealing from Dudley again I'll break both your wrists."

Of course, the simple truth of the matter was is that Harry wasn't a thief. Dudley just knew that if he wanted to get Harry into trouble, the simplest way was to accuse him of having stolen things. Needless to say, such accusations happened frequently.

"Maybe if I actually did steal things this would all be worth it."

When the door shut he leaned back and closed his eyes.

"I wish I didn't have to live here, this place isn't even my home!"

Normally that wouldn't be enough, but Harry was one of the most powerful wizards in a century, and blood wards are strange things. In an effort to execute his wish, his magic buckled against its binds, snapping forth at the same time that the blood wards imploded, tossing Harry into the unknown.

Harry awoke in an alley. Looking around his surroundings he guessed he was in London. While Harry was glad that he was out of the house, he didn't know where he was or how he was going to survive. He knew from past experience that he couldn't trust strangers; they either accused him of things he hadn't done or said he was a liar. The only problem was, if he couldn't talk to strangers, then how was he going to eat, get clothes and stay warm?

For the first week he dug through dumpsters and curled up under newspapers. He was small and it was an upscale area of the city so no one noticed him and there was no competition from the homeless. Still, he knew it just a stop gap. He needed a better way or he'd starve, or freeze to death during the winter.

What Harry didn't know was that he was magical. Magic is a part of the subconscious, when magicals are young and feel intense fear or anger, their subconscious reacts to solve the problem. When magicals go to their schools they are taught one of many 'systems' of magic. These systems are bio-feedback mechanisms which train the subconscious into a set group of patterns on how it is supposed to use magic, and over time it gets 'locked in' that that system is the only way to use magic. No single system is superior, just as no single martial art is supreme. The reason magicals got taught that way was so that the magic responds instantly and the mage can use it creatively.

Harry's magic had just gotten unlocked; Harry's subconscious understood a need, so it created a system. When Harry would see people in good clothes, eating warm food or driving in expensive cars, he'd feel enormous amounts of envy. Thanks to his cousin, Harry strongly associated 'envy' with 'theft' so his magic knew it had one goal; steal things Harry wanted.

The first time Harry realized he had a special ability was when was trying to catch a rat. He was weak and made a grab for it, he held his hand out, he wanted that juicy looking rat, and then he found he had it. The change had been instantaneous, one moment he his hand was empty, the next his held the rat. He was so surprised that the rat managed to wiggle its way out. He watched it run off and lamented over the loss of his dinner, he wanted to gnaw on its bones, and he found himself holding the rat's skeleton.

It didn't take him long to work out that he had an unknown power and to discern exactly what it did. He could 'steal' any physical thing, so long as he knew exactly what it was. He had tried to steal memories, but his power didn't extend to metaphysical objects. He had also tried to steal things that he only knew about in a general way, but that didn't work either. He found that being… selective with what body part he stole was a good method for protection against animals, and saved time in preparing them for food. Still, it took him some time to learn to differentiate wanting something and wanting something.

Hans Gruber had been classically educated as a boy, this led to his wanting to change the world. So as a young man he had fled East Germany and joined the Volksfrei movement, but they had kicked him out for being too radical in his thinking, too violent in his approach. When he left he had sworn that he was done trying to change the world, so he took his hard earned skills and became a thief, an exceptional thief. Unfortunately he was a wanted man in Germany, so he'd moved to London. There he became the perfect model of a sophisticated gentleman thief, positively wrapped in understated poise. So when he saw a young boy in an alley he was naturally intrigued.

It wasn't that the child was homeless; he'd seen plenty of those before. Rather it was that, given his state, the child had obviously stolen everything he was wearing and attempting to be better than he was. He saw a bit of himself reflected in the boy's eyes, he saw the same drive to fight against the world and achieve your ambitions. Besides that, anyone who could survive on theft in this highly a patrolled part of town clearly had talent. Intent on investigating, he followed the boy into the alley.

When he rounded the corner of a dumpster he saw a box insulated with newspaper and filled with a terrified little boy.

"What do you want?"

"Really boy. Relax. If I wanted to hurt you or turn you into the authorities I would have done so by now."

The boy must have realized the truth because, while still wary, he visibly relaxed. Clearly the boy had never heard of pedophiles.

"Now let us begin again. My name is Hans Gruber. What is yours?"

"Harry… just Harry, though sometimes I'm called freak."

Some people would have been outraged at this; Hans just accepted it and went on.

"I am curious Harry, how is it that you haven't been caught yet? I know that you are a thief because you clothes are new but you clearly haven't bathed in over a month. Not only that, but you should have been caught, there are security systems in every store and police in the area."

When the boy, Harry he reminded himself, started to look around wildly for a way to escape, Hans made a placating gesture

"It's ok, I myself am a thief. I'm not going to reprimand you for your actions."

Harry looked up at him, clearly in awe of a successful adult thief, but there was still some uncertainty there.

"I don't know how I do it. I just hold out my hand and want something, and it's there."

Then to demonstrate Harry lifted his hand and seemed to will a piece of newspaper into his hand. Hans rocked back in shock. The unbridled possibilities this child had were stupendous.

"Do you have any family Harry?"

Hans smiled at his look of distress.

"Ah. I see; you don't want to go back to them. It's fine, I don't blame you, they must have been quite terrible."

Harry nodded at this. Hans made a show of looking at the way Harry was dressed.

"I can tell that you've made an effort to improve yourself. You've looked around and tried to be tasteful, but there are somethings, like good clothes, that can only be purchased, so you must first steal the money to buy them. Come with me and I'll show you a better way to use your power."

"Come with you?"

"Yes, I could be your father."

"Could I take your name then."

"Of course. Though 'Harry Gruber' sounds so plebeian, how about Harold Gruber?"

As, the now newly named, Harold smiled, Hans took him by the hand and led him away.

The first thing his 'father' had done was get him cleaned up. Then, properly fed for the first time in his life, he took Harold to get clothes that fit him properly.

Hans had explained to him that while Harold's powers were useful, it was a bad idea to become too reliant on any one thing. He had pointed out to Harold that, if one person in the world had to ability to steal something, then odds were good that someone else had an ability to counter it. Harold could see the reason in that.

Using his old terrorist contacts and his own vast wealth, Hans had created a foolproof identity for Harold that, when inserted into government databases, made Harold legally his son. Legalities assured, Hans started to teach Harold finer points of theft and the proper uses of violence. Harold had seen violence all his short life, so he didn't have the normal resistance that most people had when starting out.

Hans wanted to train Harold up, he needed to teach him enough to be able to plan a heist. That didn't mean he need to be a master of every field, just that he know enough of every crew member's specialty to be able to know what was a realistic expectation.

When Hans left the Volksfrei he had done so with a group of likeminded friends. The bothers Anton and Karl; Anton was an electrical engineer and Karl was one of the toughest men to ever live. Then there was Alexander, the weapons expert, and Heinrich the explosives expert. The last two had recruited useful friends of their own, James and Fritz who were just good fighters. This group made up Hans' original crew, for some jobs he needed fewer people, for others more. They had already learned that Hans, while eccentric, wasn't to be questioned, since he always had a plan in mind. So when he asked them to teach his son, someone who they had never even heard of before, they went along without too many questions.

When Harold was eight and his father had told him he was going on a job. It was going to be the score of a lifetime. $600 million. For this they'd need a few more people, so they recruited Theo as a mechanical engineer and computer security expert, Kristoff as his assistant, Eddie to take over the lobby security station, Uli as a sniper, while Franco and Marco were just hired guns.

Harold waited and watched to news. Then it happened. The unthinkable. The theft had failed, all of the crew were dead, except for two of the newcomers; Theo and Kristoff. He tried to call his father's phone, but there was no answer.

He remembered what his father had told him to do in the event that he died on a job. After searching for an hour he found the phone number.

"Hello, this is Peter Kreig speaking."

"Uncle Simon"

"…"

"Your brother Hans is dead."

"Who is this?"

"His son."

"… Where are you staying?"

"In London"

"If you stay there for a few days I can come get you, it will take that long to get the forms through to get you into East Germany. Before we get you there, we should look into Hans' death, do you know where he died?"

"Los Angeles"

It took a little time for Simon to get some IDs together and for them to fly to Los Angeles. There Harold investigated everything that had happened. It seemed his father had been killed when some cursed policeman named John McClane had thrown him off the top of Nakatomi Plaza. The man was an aberration, an unpredicted addition to the problem that was the Nakatomi heist.

He found the body had already been buried. Harold stole the investigation notes and found that his father's gun was in the evidence lockup. Harold was furious, they weren't going to keep anything that belonged to his father. So he stole it.

Harold wanted to go off and kill McClane right then and there, but Simon intervened

"That's too easy Harold. We'll come up with a plan that will involve McClane and will lead to his death. Killing him is too simple, we should humiliate him first, then kill him as a last hurrah before disappearing with even more money than Hans was expecting to get out of this job."

Harold wasn't totally convinced that this was the best plan, but he bowed to his uncle's greater wisdom.

Two years later they heard about McClane's run in with the airplane. They were glad that he had survived; they didn't want anyone else to kill him just yet.

Simon was former Colonel of a Special Forces Infiltration Unit. Between his uncle and 'aunt' Katya, Harold learned how to use guns, knives, explosives, his fists and several other types of weapons. They also taught him about Simon's unit's specialty, infiltration. They also put their heads together on how to train him in the use of his special ability. They deduced that it wasn't suitable for the kinds of things they wanted to steal. Harold's ability couldn't help steal electronic currency. But it was useful for kidnapping, killing, torturing and petty theft. So they trained him in finding creative ways using his power and other skills to solve scenarios and problems.

It took another five years before their plan was complete. They would steal $140 billion from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, and in doing so they would humiliate and finally kill John McClane.

Harold stood in front of the McClane house. It had all gone well till they got to Canada. Instead of dying like he was supposed to, McClane had survived the explosion on the boat and tracked them down. Simon and Katya were dead; it was only through Harold's quick thinking that he hadn't lost the gold. No one had seen him during the heist and no one alive knew of his power, so the loss of $140 billion was an unsolved mystery.

Just the other day he had visited his uncle's grave. There had been somebody there; he had said his name was Piet Gruber. Piet had claimed to have been Hans' son. The nerve! When Harold had asked clarification as to whether he was related by blood, he got an affirmative reply. So he stole it, Piet's blood, all of it. Hopefully that would teach people not to falsely claim they were his family.

Now he was going to kill John McClane. There would be no plot, nothing convoluted, he was just going to kill him, then it would all be over. When he knocked on the door it was opened by an eleven year old John McClane Jr.

"Hello, I go to school with your sister. She forgot something in class; would it be alright if I give it to her?"

The kid shrugged and let him in before turning to yell for his sister, but the moment he turned around Harold had entered and shut the door behind him.

"Lucy! There's some guy from school here to see you."

Soon all four members of the household were on the ground floor. Harold had long since learned that if he wanted to incapacitate a person that all he had to do was take a tiny sliver of the brain stem, effectively turning them into a paraplegic.

Lucy saw some guy she didn't know kneel down behind her brother, seeming to whisper something in his ear, before he started to collapse, her brother being kept upright by the stranger. She started to rush towards them, but then she found that she was falling, she couldn't feel her body.

When Lucy came to she found her whole family sitting on the couch, it didn't look like they could move any better than she could. Whoever this guy was, he was only a couple of years older than her. Seeing that her father was watching him, he got up.

"Hello, my name is Herald Gruber. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

If the circumstances were any less terrifying she would have laughed.

"Or at least that is what I'd like to say. Seven years ago I wanted to just kill you, begged my uncle to let me just end your life, but he insisted on doing things this way. Now you have personally killed everyone I love, everyone who has ever cared for me. I am a fair man, so I intend to return the favor."

"How are you doing this? You use some paralyzing agent?" Her father was clearly trying to stall for time, hoping that their captor's ego would force him to monologue. He didn't, he just raised his hand and her little brother's arms and legs flew into the wall.

"Jr.!"

"The truth is, I don't have quite the same dedication to pragmatism that my father and uncle had." He told them before Lucy's mother was similarly dismembered "I actually felt quite strongly when they died. However, I'm sure that after this last little bit of vengeance, I can return to being pragmatic about things. Having more money than some countries does tend to mellow a person out."

He held his hand out towards her and suddenly Lucy could see her limbs fly off. As she felt herself start to bleed out, she looked at her father. Harold Gruber didn't postpone it any longer, she watched as her father's head appeared in their killer's hands. The last thing Lucy heard before she finally died was her killer snorting in disgust and the thump of her father's head hitting the carpet.

Lily Potter watched the goblet of fire absent mindedly. Her son would have been a fourth year. She remembered how Dumbledore had made it all seem to make so much sense at the time. Harry was too famous, he would be a target if he stayed, he would be like James had been as a child if he stayed, no good would come of it, he could come back when it was time to start Hogwarts Dumblefore had said. She had been such a fool to believe him.

When the time came to pick him up they had discovered that Albus had no idea where he was, and hadn't for years! What was worse was that her little Harry had been put with Petunia. Petunia! The marauders had been out in force investigating the matter and had discovered the horrid abuse Harry had suffered. It made her furious just to think about it.

She and James had taken posts as teachers in case Harry ever showed up. James and Sirius were joint DADA teacher, diluting the curse by forcing it to apply to two people at once, while she was assistant charms mistress. Her daughter, Rose, was a second year this term.

Absent mindedly she heard Dumbledore call out the names of the three champions before a fourth paper came out

"…Harry Potter"

Whoever decided to play this sick joke was going to die; she would make sure of it. There were mutterings around the hall, she could see Dumbledore looking baffled and James seemed to share her anger.

Just then the goblet started to go on the fritz. Dumbledore held out his hands to calm the students down

"Don't worry everybody, it's just a feature of the goblet. If one of the champions is missing from the tournament area then they are summoned to participate."

The whole hall watched in rapt fascination as the ring of blue fire died down, revealing a standing figure. Lily could start to see some features. He was tall, wearing a suit and coat that were obviously bespoke, seemed to be in good shape and had his hair combed back in a professional manner. Once the flames had totally vanished they heard him speak

"Well, this new. I don't think I've ever been kidnapped before, bit of a change in perspective."

He seemed to glance around the room before looking at the high table. By this point all the teachers were on their feet. His eyes had gone wide and people could clearly hear him whisper "dad". Lily knew Severus was snorting at him, he was probably thinking how similar the two must be if the 'spawn' could recognize 'Potter' at first sight.

As Harry started to move forwards James went to hug him. James had clearly braced himself for the impact because he was unbalanced when Harry ran past him and embraced Severus.

"Father! I knew you couldn't be dead."

There were looks of shock all over the hall, several of the Hufflepuffs fainted, Severus was catatonic.

What. The. Fuck. Had Severus been hiding him from them for all these years?

"Here Father, I managed to retrieve you P7M13 for you. I've kept it in working order all these years."

Harry seemed oblivious to the stares he was getting as he pulled out a compact pistol and placed in in Severus' unresponsive hand. Then he gave a start and growled.

"I'm not your father boy."

"Oh no! You have amnesia. I guess it's not too surprising, you did fall almost 500 feet. Another thing we can lay at the feet of that bastard McClane."

Everyone was suitably confused at this point, so Dumbledore decided to step in.

"Young man. You have been summoned here to compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament."

Harry sobered up as he turned to face the man

"Never heard of it. What is this Tri-Wizard Tournament?"

"It is a test between the chosen champions of the three largest magical schools in Europe. There are three tasks, each will be dangerous and force you to new heights of bravery and skill."

"I see. As amusing as that sounds, I really do have other things I need to be doing."

"I'm afraid that you don't have a choice. I'm not threatening you. The goblet of fire, the tournament's impartial judge, forces all champions to participate, that is what brought you here in fact."

"Interesting, and how long will tournament take?"

"It lasts the whole year."

"Ah, very well then."

"Excellent. Prefect Weasley! If you could show this young man to the guest quarters on the third floor for now, and then lead him to my office. We have much to discuss."

As Harry walked off Dumbledore collected the relevant parties, consisting of herself, the marauders, Severus and Rose, and led them to the headmaster's office. As soon as the door closed James tried to attack Severus

"You bastard. You tried to steal my son!"

As the voice of reason it was up to Remus to restrain him.

"I can assure you I have never met that boy before in my life."

Deciding to cut the fight short she decided to intervene.

"Albus, what do you think is going on?"

"I don't know. However, Harry's behavior gives us a clear way of finding out. He thinks that Severus is his father, but that he can't remember anything, we shall simply get the boy to try and jog his memory by explaining where he's been."

"So we have to just sit here and listen to him, pretending we aren't his family?"

"For the moment, just until we can convince him of the truth."

Before any more arguments could start, the door opened. She hadn't noticed it before, but Harry carried himself like a pureblood hitwizard; graceful in a way that spoke of both high society and lethality.

"Ah Harry, please come in, come in. Won't you sit down."

She could see him quirk and eyebrow at the headmaster before complying.

"Who exactly do you think I am?"

"Isn't your name Harry Potter?"

"No. My name is Harold Gruber."

"Right then, Harold. It seems that your dear… father needs you to jog his memory. Why don't you start by explaining you family situation and maybe that will help."

Harry, no, Harold, looked at Severus.

"They're your secrets, do you trust them?"

At Severus' nod Harold gave a sigh and began

"My father's name is Hans Gruber, and he was a world class thief. He was a member of Volksfrei liberation movement, but they were too weak minded to understand his genius. He taught me everything I know. When I was eight he went on a job that would have set us up for life, $600 million. Unfortunately he wasn't expected a cowboy of a policeman, McClane, to be there."

Lily could hear the venom in his voice at the name McClane.

"The plan was ruined and he eventually threw my father off the 32th floor of the Nakatomi building. We all thought he was dead, obviously we were wrong."

"Go on."

"I was taken in by my uncle, who was also a thief. Together we plotted our revenge. It took us seven years, but in the end we had our plan. We would involve McClane in the theft of $140 billion in gold, and during the heist he would die in an explosion. The plan went perfectly, except that McClane survived. I'm sorry father, but your bother and Katya were killed by him." There was a gasp from Rose

"Somehow I managed to get the gold away. Then I made sure to end the blood feud between our two families, he suffered greatly before the end. The McClanes are no more."

Lily could hear Sirius mutter "Holy shit. He wiped out the entire family."

Yes, definitely a pureblood then. Blood feuds like that were an old tradition. Wizards robbing gold from muggles, an interesting idea. $140 billion, that was more gold than the GDP of magical Britain, hell it was a sizable fraction of the muggle GDP (rounds to 1/8th in 1994). She'd never heard of the Gruber family, must be from the continent. That still didn't explain why he thought Severus was his father though.

"Harold, I don't know how you came to be in the care of your father, but I can assure you that you real name is Harry Potter and that those people there are your birth family." Dumbledore said pointing to the Potters.

"Harry… Harold, I am your mother. I…"

"Careful woman. The last person who tried to claim they were related to me was exsanguinated with extreme prejudice. That reminds me father, you don't remember anything about someone named 'Piet'? Claimed to by your son as well."

When, in a daze, Severus shook his head, Dumbledore went on.

"What do you remember about your aunt and uncle? What did they tell you about your parents?"

"My aunt and uncle were named Katya and Simon Gruber, I already told you about them; and why would I need my uncle to tell me about my father when he raised me?"

"No Harold. Your real aunt and uncle; Petunia and Vernon Dursley."

Honestly, since he'd met his father Harold had never thought about his original home. At first it was because they were bad memories, but later it just wasn't relevant. Even while being berated about it by this old man he could just barely remember that there had been a place before the alley, a place of constant pain, but he certainly didn't remember any specific people.

"Never heard of them."

Sighing in defeat, Dumbledore tried a different tactic.

"Well anyway, before we dismiss you we'll have to get you sorted."

"Oh? Are the members of the other guest schools also having to be sorted?"

No one spoke up

"I thought not. I am not a student of this institution, and am an outside contender in this tournament, a champion with no affiliation. Not only can you not force me to be sorted, but your competitors would surly argue against it."

"How did you learn all this?"

"My guide from earlier. I interrogated Mr. Weasley thoroughly."

"Yes well… quite right he was. You'll still have to attend classes like all the other students, even the foreign students have to do that. "

Seeing his nod of acknowledgment

"Very well, good night Mr. Pot… Gruber."

They all watched as he got up and left.

"Well! That went horribly. What on earth are we going to do?" asked Lily

"Did you hear him? He eliminated the whole family of this 'McClane'."

"We don't know that. All he said was that 'The McClanes were no more' for all we know there was only one member."

"Regardless, it's obvious that the Grubers were a pureblood family. Albus, have you ever heard of them before?"

"Yes, the Grubers were wiped out by Grindelwald, they were a minor family from the area around Potsdam. From the way he talked it appears that they, in fact, disappeared into the muggle world. It's possible that the McClane family was responsible for Grindelwald trying to wipe them out, or perhaps it is a more recent dispute. I really don't know, the Irish have always been less formal about their magical heritage."

Lily didn't know if he had said that because it was true, or because Dumbledore came from an era where it was socially acceptable to be racist against the Irish.

"I can't believe that is the part you are all focusing on. Have you forgotten that he is a criminal? He is a killer and a thief."

"Yes he is a killer but, as far as we can tell, it was over a matter of family honor. As for being a thief; in ages past, he would have been called a scoundrel for stealing that much money."

"You only say that because he's you son."

"You're all ignoring the problem. How are we going to get my brother to acknowledge us as his family?"

"Could we use the Hogwarts registry or the Marauder's map?"

Dumbledore snorted

"Of course not. What do you think they use, true names? If Hogwarts used only the names received at birth then most of the orphans throughout our history would never have gotten their letters. It uses what people call themselves, what they identify as their name. The wards, which the map uses as a base, use the same method."

"Then how did the goblet summon him from his name?"

"It's not about the name, that piece of parchment was taken from his ministry birth certificate, it carries his magical signature."

"Why don't use that then, his magical signature."

"They're easily falsified."

"What about an inheritance test?"

"Already thought of it. Any traditional pureblood family would have blood adopted Harry; as having an adopted family member, who doesn't share blood, can be a risk to certain ward schemes based off of family magic."

"Well we can't just walk up to him. He's already said he killed someone for doing that. Though that Piet fellow would have been charged with attempted line theft, so Harold's actions were perfectly legal."

"Yes. I believe we have but one option. Harold still thinks that Severus is his father. We might be able to use him as a means of bridging the gap, socially."

Everyone looked at Snape as he sneered

"We're doomed."

Rose Potter was getting know her brother from a distance, or as any sane person would say; stalking. So far she still in a bit of denial. She had grown up with an image of what her big brother would be like. He was supposed to be a like her father James, but with her mother's brains and extra charm for good measure. She had been able to glean from their meeting in the headmaster's office that her brother had been raised a conservative pureblood, but even that didn't make sense since he clearly lived in the muggle world. On top of that she hadn't seen his use his wand. Ever. Everybody used their wands at some point in the day, her brother didn't even take it out for class. When the teachers asked him about it he said he was just 'auditing' the class, whatever that meant.

Ah! There was the prefect coming to take her brother to the weighing of the wands. She tried to be quiet about it, but it was still fairly obvious that she was following the two. When they got the ceremony Harold was the last one there.

"Ah Mr. Potter."

"Gruber"

"Mr. Gruber. I am Garrick Ollivander. May I examine your wand?"

"I do not possess such a tool."

Rose could hear a few snorts of disbelief and some muttering of 'impossible'. A few times in the past people had tried this line in order to either appear as though they could use wandless magic or to get an illegally altered wand into the tournament.

"I see. In that case we shall have to test you." Here he pulled out a metal rod "There are only three outcomes from this. If you are in need of a wand it will shoot sparks and then we shall find you one to suit you. If you only use wandless magic it will erupt with a constant stream of sparks, and you will break all the wands you try. If you cannot use a wand then you will get zero response."

Harold took the offered rod as everyone watched in rapt attention. There was no response. None. Zero. Ziltch. Her brother had gotten trapped into a dangerous magical tournament, and he was a squib! They had just gotten him back and now he was going to die in the first task.

*cough*"Well, it seems that you cannot wield a wand. Good luck with the tournament young man."

As she watched the ancient wand maker leave she could just make out the hem of Skeeter's dress as she ran to the nearest flue. She could just see tomorrows Prophet "Boy-Who-Lived & Lost-Potter-Heir is a squib". God, didn't they ever get sick of hyphenated titles.

The day of the first task had arrived and Lily was terribly nervous. She didn't want to watch her baby boy get himself burned alive, but she also couldn't possibly stand to not be there. She consoled herself with the thought that, he could fail the task and still technically compete. He'd just have zero points, but that was ok if he wasn't trying to win.

A couple of people had tried to give him advice, like smuggling in a broom and flying around on it, obviously the son of James Potter would be magnificent on a broom even if he'd never flown before. The stupidity of some people, didn't they realize that was a part of the Potter family magic? Dumbledore had told them that Harr-Harold had been blood adopted, so Potter family magics wouldn't apply any more.

She watched distractedly as the first three champions came out and faced their dragons, when it was time fo Harold to do so she could feel the butterflies in her stomach. He strode out like it was any other day. Lily looked on in wonder at how amazingly he must be at hiding his fear. He seemed to be almost dispassionate when looking at the gigantic dragon. Then he seemed to look at the golden egg and twitch his fingers. Suddenly the egg was in his hand! He bowed to the dragon and left the field. She was sitting behind the judges table so she eaves dropped a bit.

"Aren't the eggs supposed to be proof against the summoning charm?"

"Of course they are! Isn't he supposed to be unable to do magic?"

"How stupid of me! We inquired if he could use a wand, but we never asked about foreign methods of using magic."

"There could be dozens of different styles he could be using. How do we tell which it is?"

"He didn't use a focus, that narrows it down. And that wasn't even close to a summoning charm, it looked closer to remote apparition."

"Can't be that though. The wards around Hogwarts don't allow for it."

"Yes but those wards are designed to be used against our style of magic. They don't work against the method of travel that house elves use, so why would another style of magic be any different?"

"Do you think we can ask him about it?"

"Doubtful. You know how other magical cultures feel about us."

"And whose fault is that Barty!"

"Please, those issues have existed for centuries. The worst I could be accused of is neglecting to try and improve them."

"Anyway. We still have to give him a score."

Lily tuned out after that. Her son used a different style of magic? How had he learned it, who had taught it to him, could he learn their style as well? The last was an obvious 'no' they had gone over that already with the wands. It seemed that he was a mystery, for every question they answered another ten sprang up.

In the end the judges score averaged at a six.

Frustrated would how to describe Fleur right now. In France everyone knew enough about Veela that they didn't harass her, but here it seemed that all of the boys were stuck in her allure. It was so disappointing. Just when she thought of giving up she heard a voice speak French behind her.

"Excuse me miss."

It was that odd fourth champion, the one that had been summoned from god-knows-where.

"You speak French?"

"I spent a lot of time in France as a boy."

"Did you need me for something?"

"I couldn't help but notice that neither of us have a date for the Yule Ball. Would you care to go with me?"

It was odd. He didn't seem to be affected at all by her allure.

"Tell me, do you feel anything odd? Perhaps a sort of haze on your thoughts?"

"No, as far as I can tell my thinking is perfectly normal at the moment. Why?"

"I am a Veela, we have a natural allure, an animal magnetism, which makes all men desire us."

"I would reassure you with the knowledge that I didn't find you attractive, but that would be a lie."

"You seem as though you don't want to go to the ball."

"I see parties as being times of celebration, yet the first task was hardly worth celebrating."

"It's to celebrate the wizarding precursor to Christmas."

"Technically. But it is only being celebrated for this tournament, which means that in actuality the ball is to celebrate the initiation of the tournament and our participation in it."

"Hmm"

She was a bit confused by him. He was calm but playful, seemingly very casual in his approach to things, but that the same time he was immune to her allure and had gotten through her emotional barriers. After just a few minutes they were talking easily back and forth. So they went together to the ball.

Albus Dumbledore had a problem, specifically the second task. Each task was supposed to test the champions as they performed under a different kind of pressure. The first task was the pressure from the threat to your own life, the second was the threat to someone you cared about, and the third was the pressure of out racing your competitors.

The problem was that their fourth champion hadn't taken a suitable person to the ball! He'd taken another champion, and he couldn't very well use her. Fleur's own hostage was going to be her little sister. Each hostage was supposed to be someone that the champion cared for. Harold didn't have any friends in the castle, he didn't care for his family. Hell, he thought that Severus was his fath… And the award for genius goes to Albus Dumbledore, please hold the applause.

Getting up he readied out his wand and walked to the fireplace, calling the name of the potion master's office he stuck his head in.

"Oh Severus, could I speak to you for a moment? There has suddenly arisen an urgent need for your services."

Lily was at the black lake with everyone else, this time she was much calmer. Her son had an unknown magic, he was a complete unknown. Even if he didn't have a specific way of getting down there, he could still just take a zero for the task. When the champions started to go crazy looking for their loved ones she turned to see Harold glance around and sigh slightly.

The starting noise went off and three of the champions dove into the water. So he wasn't even going to try, at least he knew his own limitations. Then he made a gesture with his hand and Severus appeared, dripping wet, on the pier. The attendants hadn't been expecting to be needed quite so soon, but they quickly had towels wrapped around him as he stormed off to confront Dumbledore. Behind her she could hear James and Sirius laughing that it had been 'Snivelus' who had gotten stuck under the lake, just wait till they realize that means the Severus is the one he cares about most.

After half an hour of this the French girl came back up, but without her hostage. She saw the girl, Fleur, go to Harold and speak quietly to him. He seemed to nod for a moment, before snapping his fingers in a dramatic gesture and Fleur was holding her sister in her arms.

Severus Snape had had quite enough of this, and he was going to do something about it.

"Boy come here!"

"Yes Father?"

"Once and for all. I. AM. NOT. YOUR. FATHER! I had never met you before you showed up for the tournament. I can fully recall my life, and have corroboration from many other people who can confirm that I have been Severus Snape my entire life."

"I know"

"You know"

"Yes, there are slight differences, a few different scars, a difference in hair color that dyes couldn't produce without your knowing. I've known since the first week. At first I was overcome by how similar you looked, then I didn't want to believe you were a different person since I had just gotten my father back, but after a week I gave it up."

"Then why pretend?"

"Because you have potential."

"Potential?"

"I've looked into you Severus Snape. You have a remarkably similar background you my father. Planning a heist requires a great deal of knowledge, exactness and attention to detain. My father would often mention his childhood love of models as an inspiration in that regard. I understand that potion making requires similar focus."

He was staring now, he didn't even realize his mouth was hanging open.

"Furthermore, you both were members of what would be considered terrorist organizations, but were not standard members. My father was kicked out for being too radical, whereas you were a spy. Really there are only two great differences. First, you take life far more seriously; second, you made your goal of self-interest about personal freedom rather than hard cash."

"Personal freedom?"

"Yes. After the last war, you realized that you hated being trapped between two masters. You want to have no master. In the case of my father, when he realized that he was no longer welcome with the Volksfrei, he decided to take his skills and achieve great wealth. It's a similar goal, but with a different outcome."

"You want to use me to replace your father then?"

"No. No one could ever replace him. I just see so many similarities that it makes me want to help you realize your potential."

"To be a common thief?"

"To be an exceptional thief! Just consider it carefully."

Finally the day of the last task had arrived. Severus had been trying to avoid Harold since he had confronted him. At first he'd dismissed the offer out of hand. But his dark mark had been acting up lately, every time he felt it pulse his mind reconsidered the offer. It was silly, money couldn't buy happiness. Then again, he hated being a slave to two masters. Harold was listed in the prophecy as being able to kill one, maybe he could be convinced to kill the other too.

He watched as the judges showed the champions the Tri-Wizard Cup before they banished it to its pedestal.

He snorted. By this point everyone knew what was going to happen. All the betting said that 'Harry Potter' was going to win within seconds. Yes, there he goes. He's raised his hand, the cup appeared in it. He's disappeared! The cup was a portkey.

He sat with the others while the judges tried to track the portkey's destination. After a few minutes the champion returned, carrying the cup and two severed heads. One was Pettigrew, and the other was a magical construct of the dark lord. He could almost imagine the dark mark fading away. No, wait! It was fading. How could this be? Dumbledore had said there were horcuxs'. Who cared, he was free!

Epilogue

Harold continued to completely ignore his family and the marauders. He performed a few major heists in the muggle world, including recreating the robbery of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. Then using his vast wealth he got the Gruber family officially recognized by Gringots. Due to his different style of magic he didn't spend a lot of time in the wizarding world, but he still spent a lot of time with Fleur.

AN: I rushed the ending. Honestly the tasks were too easy for him, but I couldn't make them harder because he has a really limited magical skillset. I mostly just wrote this because I had the song from that music video stuck in my head, it's the one where the chorus ends "die as hard as you can".

A lot of the end stuff was just whatever felt right at the moment. I didn't want to have him go with Fleur to the ball, but it was the only way to get Snape under the lake, and that was hilarious. But then, unexpectedly, Snape confronts Harold and I had to come up with some bullshit for that scene. Such a pain. That's why there isn't a resolution to either of those relationships in the epilogue, I wasn't planning for them and so can't see where they'll lead.

I really didn't want to deal with the horcrux, I mean I could have, it would have been easy for him to steal each of them and then use his power to tear them apart, but I didn't.