A/N: Welcome all to my first South Park Fanfiction! I've written a lot but I've never posted any…until about right motherfuckin' now! So please read, enjoy, and most importantly…REVIEW! And I promise you that eventually you'll have chapters to fap to!
He and his asshole friends were sitting a table across from me, Clyde, and Token. He was stealing Cartman's cheesy poofs, throwing them in the air and catching them in his mouth. The girls around him giggled and Stan and Kyle were cracking up at the fatass's frustration.
Kenny McCormick, a smug asshole and a pervert, was the town whore and stoner. Everyone loved him, thought he was hilarious and were always impressed with his immature stunts.
I hate him.
He never took anything seriously, always goofing off, and those pricks he called "friends" took my birthday money and got me sent to Peru when I was ten. They were always getting into trouble, but never took any responsibility for it. Godamn, I hate them. The day Kenny McCormick takes anything seriously is the day fatass looses 200 pounds and Clyde makes all As.
"You guys wanna go sit over with them?" he said referring to the assholes, "It's boring over here…"
I rolled my eyes, "No way in hell"
Clyde banged his head on the table and grabbed onto my jacket, "Common Craig! Buddy ol' pal!"
"I said no." I said flipping him off.
"Craig, please! Why do hate them so much anyways?" he wined.
"Yeah, they're not that bad…" Token remarked.
Unbelievable! These assholes were just like the other assholes.
"Not that bad?! Those assholes got me sent to Peru and stole my birthday money!" I raised my voice.
Token looked at me like I was crazy, "Dude…that was like seven years ago.."
"So? I'm still pissed off!" I snapped.
"But you're always pissed off.." Clyde said stuffing his face with a hamburger.
"Shut up tubby," I said smacking the back of his head and he choked on his sandwich.
He cleared his throat and remarked back, "Fine, let us sit here in boredom so we can please Mr. Dickface." He then continued to stuff himself.
"That's what I like to hear," I said smirking.
We sat and ate in silence until Token spoke up, "So, I'm having party this weekend.."
Clyde's eyes widened and he quickly swallowed his food.
"A party?! Yes! I can't wait! There's gonna be chics, and dirty games, and music, and booze!…There will be booze right?" he cheered.
"Yes, Clyde, there will be booze…" Token said.
"Bichin' dude!" Clyde smirked.
I rolled my eyes. Now don't get me wrong, I love parties. Getting drunk as fuck and playing beer pong, it's amazing and the highlight of my week. But when Kenny shows up, my fun ends. He once got super drunk, got everyone to play naked twister, and eventually started an orgy. Then I went outside and sat in the cold smoking for the rest of the night.
"If that poor faggot is coming, count me out." I said annoyingly.
"Common, dude. Get that giant stick out your ass and come to the party." Token sighed.
"Token's right, Craig. Stop acting like a PMSing little bitch and get over your internal issues. If anything, Kenny is the life of the party!" Clyde shouted.
That was it. Even my best friend loved that asshole. I got up and walked away from the table towards the door leading outside.
"Craig! Where ya going?!" Clyde shouted.
"I need a smoke." I said back and walked off.
I pushed the door open and felt the cold Colorado wind on my face. I sat against the wall and pulled a cigarette and lit it. I took a puff and I already felt better.
Sweet nectar of the gods that was good.
Not even Kenny McCormick could piss me off when I was smoking. I decided to skip 6th hour and just walk around the school. I don't know what is about South Park High, but no one seemed to notice when anyone smoked, skipped, did drugs, drank, or had during school hours. Most people in South Park are debases anyways. One time Clyde told me he found Kenny high as fuck and screwing Red in the teachers lounge. That really pissed me off cause I used to have a major crush on Red, just another reason I hate that asshole.
I went back inside so I could make it to History, and that class was easy as fuck to sleep in. As I walked I spotted Token talking to Kyle. When he saw me walking towards them, he said something to Kyle and he walked away.
"Why the fuck were you talking to him?" I asked glaring at him.
"Jeez, calm the fuck down. I was just asking about our Trig test next week." he said in defense.
Although was skeptical, I didn't take Token as a liar.
"Whatever…" I said walking to class.
I never paid attention in history, all we did was take notes and I'd always copy Bebe's. As I sat with ear buds in my ears and stared into space, I saw Kyle passing notes with Kenny. I earned glares from both of them, especially McCormick. I ignored it and went back to listening to music for the rest of class.
After the bell rang I grabbed my shit and dashed out the door. Freedom, sweet freedom.
"What the fuck is your problem, Tucker?" I voice said behind me and I stopped abruptly.
That voice…it can't be…
I turned around to see Kenny McCormick glaring at me.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked glaring back.
"You know exactly what I'm fucking talking about!" I shouted and pushed me back.
Who the fuck did he think was pushing me?! Apparently he doesn't know I could kick his ass easier than Cartman could eat an entire bag of cheesy poofs.
"Don't push me you dick!" I shouted at him.
"I didn't do shit to you and you fucking hate my guts!" he screamed.
Jesus Christ, what do I say…
"Ugh! It's not that you did something-"
"Then what the hell is it?!" he shouted furiously.
I sighed and rubbed my temples. Goddamnit. I had so many things I could say but they all just sounded, ya know…stupid.
"It's just…Goddamnit…" I said sighing, "Everyone just loves you. You're always acting out to impress people, and it fucking works. Always getting the girls, and it's like life for you is a game! It's not! You're foolish and never faulted for it! It pisses me off to think anyone can always be that cheerful and not taking anything seriously!"
Kenny stared at me like I was a moron, and I could tell he was furious.
"You listen here and you listen well, Tucker," he said sticking a finger in my face, "You have no fucking idea what my life is like. If you think I never take anything serious and I'm always happy, you obviously have no fucking idea what I'm really like. If didn't hate me so much and got to actually know me, you'd know that all that-" he stopped.
"What?' I asked impatiently.
He shook his head and spoke, "Forget it. I have to go now and sell my body because no one will give me a job and I need money to make sure my little sister doesn't starve to death cause my parents spend all our money on drugs. See you around." he turned and stormed out of the school.
I don't know what just happened. What he said sounded strange, but the way he said it…he almost seemed like he was…
Serious.