Come Und Play
Rated T for character death.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia. And I want to make no profit from it.
"Bruder, will you come und play with me?" His high-toned voice hits your ears like needles. Why won't he just shut up and leave you alone?
"Bruder? Why do you ignore me? I just want to play..." If I ignore you, you'll go away. Then I can study in peace.
"Bruder, I'll tell Mutter you aren't being nice to me und then you'll be in trouble!" You sigh and place your pencil down. Chilled hands rub your eyes and you can almost feel his grin through the air.
"So you'll play?" Just. Don't. Respond. It seems like such a cold thing to do, but you were told not to respond. That stupid psychiatrist everyone told you to visit only said, "he'll stop talking to you if you stop talking to him." Obviously he didn't understand how little brothers worked.
"Bruder, you'll play right? Bitte?" Why does he have to say it that way? In that sweet, innocent, eight-year-old voice. A voice that won't stop pestering you and makes you want to claw at your head.
You grit your teeth, fighting back the urge to decline.
"Fine, Bruder. I'll play cars by myself. Und if Mutter grounds you from wurst und Vater beats you, don't come crying to me!" That did make you smirk. Mutter and Vater would never do such things. They couldn't.
You finish your school work, shower for the night and climb into your bed. The house is so quiet when your little brother doesn't talk. Until you try to sleep. Then he screams.
He screams at the top of his lungs.
You wonder for a moment if Vater will wake and scold him. No, that's impossible...
You wrap your hands around your ears as he keeps screaming. And finally- finally when you think it's done, he comes into your room.
"Bruder, there's someone here..."
No there isn't...
"Bruder he's scaring me! Mutter und Vater won't tell him to go away! Bruder come help me! Bitte!"
Why is it the same plea every night. No one was there. No one was threatening his- your safety. It was just a ruse to get attention.
"Bruder, why don't you listen to me?! Don't you care?!"
He leaves the room, but you can hear him muttering and shouting, then screaming again.
0*~*0
The teachers hate you.
School is the only place you don't have to deal with little brother. It's the only time you can sleep and actually do just that. It's where you can talk to friends who don't even know about your brother, those who live simple lives in their simple homes with their simple families. Not with screaming eight-year-old brothers that love to torture you.
But you do well in school, despite his constant questions. You look forward to graduating, because it means you get to move to a new city, maybe different state, or even country, just to go to a new school. And your brother can't follow.
"I've just gotten accepted into Notre Dame!"
"Arthur, you're not actually going to go there, are you?"
"No. But the Vargas brothers might. They said their family went to college there too!"
"So, Gil, you decided on a college yet?" You stay silent. Most people expect that of you now, even if you used to be the loudest of the group. But you believe Elizaveta deserves a response.
"Not really. Just somewhere far away from here. I don't care where," you shove your hands into deep pockets. She's the only one who has any idea what happens at your house. But you didn't really tell her anything.
"Look, I know life is hard and all, but how are you going to pay for a cross-country trip?"
"My parents have enough money..."
"Is that really what you want?"
"Liz..." You fall silent. Is it what you want? To go and just abandon everything? "I just want to sleep again..."
0*~*0
"Bruder, are you leaving? I mean, like moving away?" You keep quiet again and continue shifting through college letters. All junk, except a few that actually promote the college in an informing way.
"Don't leave, Bruder. Who will play with me?" You haven't played with him in over a year. The question still brings tears to your eyes. It's a good thing he always talks to you when your back is turned.
"Are you crying Bruder?"
You haven't cried in over a year either.
"Bitte, don't cry," his iced fingers wipe across your face in a vain attempt to stem the flow. But the tears come, even as your eyes are shut.
"Look at me Bruder. Look at me," he pleads, begging for attention. Attention you just can't stand to give.
"No..." You mumble quietly. Did you respond to him? No. You were just talking about crying, "I won't start crying now..." There. Now you weren't talking to him.
"Bruder, do you hate me?" His childish voice holds too many emotions. The saline continually runs, staining the hem of your shirt and dampening unopened letters. The quicker you get out, the better.
"I hope you don't hate me Bruder. It would be sad... But it's okay. I still love you, Bruder," you hear his footsteps echo away and open reddened eyes. Why? Why did he still- how could he say that?
The screams don't come that night. The house is eerily silent as you prepare for bed as you always do. You fall asleep within moments of touchdown, no voice entering your ears to bother you and create those awful bags under your eyes.
0*~*0
"I'm going to Miami..."
"What?"
"Ja... Miami University..."
"Of Florida?!" Liza looked a bit too excited.
"Nicht. It's a different college, in Ohio. The campus looks gorgeous, just like some of the trails here. It's just enough like home, just without..." Without little brother.
"Without the memories..."
"Ja..." Silence, "will you visit me? After all, you'll just be in Tennessee."
"I'll come as often as possible. And you better drag your ass to my campus too!"
"Ja, I will." As long as you didn't come home.
0*~*0
The house is empty. There's a leak in the sink you don't know how to fix. The pipes that connect the toilet and bathtub have somehow found a way to clog themselves. Your practical plumbing skill can only go so far. Your bed is continually creaking and the other rooms stay untouched, precisely preserved.
"Bruder, clean your room." How can he say that? A layer of dust has formed on all of his things. Even his toys.
"I'll give you a choice. If you clean your room, I'll give you my wurst tonight. But if you don't, I get to eat your wurst, und you have to play with me!" Ignore him.
"Bruder, isn't that a fair deal?"
No... I'll get no wurst tonight...
"C'mon Bruder! Bitte? Bitte bitte bitte?!" You feel ice wrap around your wrist and look down, surprised. But your shoulders relax. You shouldn't scare so easily.
Of course he isn't there.
He hasn't been there for a year and a half now.
He und Mutter und Vater are all gone.
You're the only one who didn't get shot- the only one that wasn't special enough to die, according to the murderer.
You're glad you can't see little brother when he screams. The blood that night had been enough. To see it again and again every night, you shudder and return to language essays. Just get out of town and don't come back.
0*~*0
"Bruder... You really are going, aren't you?" You wish you could hug him and tell him it'd be okay.
"Does that mean I have to play alone?" Yeah, Luddy, that's what it meant.
"Bruder..." ice crawls up your spine and surrounds your being, "Bitte, don't go. I'll be so lonely here without you." Dammit, why can't you hug him back?
"Bruder, bitte? Just play with me one more time!"
"N-no, Luddy..." You responded...
"But-"
"I can't. Und I can't come back. I have to go Ludwig. I can't stay anymore. This just isn't- it isn't right..."
"Don't forget about me Bruder." Why the hell can't you hug him?
"I won't. I would never forget you," the tears come again, harsh and hot, feverishly burning their paths into your cheekbones.
"Don't cry Bruder. I don't want you to be sad either. Just don't forget me, okay?"
"Okay, okay..."
"Will you come visit me?"
"I can't visit the house anymore. Maybe in your garden?"
"Can Mutter und Vater come too?"
A smile spreads across your face, the first in a while, "J-Ja. I would love to see Mutter und Vater again."
"Gut! I'll tell them then! Und I'll make sure we all dress nicely, und you can bring all kinds of food we always ate!"
"Ja. I won't forget. I promise you I will never forget. Okay, little Bruder?"
"Okay!" You wish you could see his grin.
You turn towards the door, pausing to look one last time at your living room and the hallway that lead to the bedrooms. You weren't going to come back for a long time, but the house was paid off. It was yours. And it just felt wrong to sell it. Even if you did have to hear him scream.
The knob turns slowly in your hand as you open the weathered oak and take a step out.
"Oh! Bruder!" You turn back to the doorway.
"I love you!"
Another smile spreads and another tear falls, "I love you too, Ludwig..."