Warnings: Minor yaoi(AkuRoku), mentions and more of child prostitution, sexual abuse, rape, prostitution, kidnapping, and attempted murder.
Xigbar slowly opened his eye, staring up at the pale whitish beige ceiling of his room with an almost empty stare, feeling tired despite sleeping most of the whole night. Sighing, he sat up slowly, feeling sluggish as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and got to his feet. Time and time again he dreamed about his son, and tonight was no different. He had dreamed about his son being snatched away from him by hands from the darkness, crying for him but he could do nothing to save him. He sighed, rubbing at the corners of his eyes. There wasn't a night that went by that he didn't dream about his son, whether it be a nightmare, or a dream about the good memories he had.
His eye slowly slid over to his nightstand, staring at the worn photo of a five year old with black hair, gold eyes just like his, and a toothy grin who was holding up a simple painted drawing of two blue birds made from a hand print, one his and one his son's. A sad, tiny smile crossed his face for a moment before it was replaced by an equally sad frown, and he willed himself to hold back any tears, not wanting to stir himself up before the day had even really been started, even if he didn't have anywhere to go today. Everyday, it was a struggle keep his emotions hidden and not to break down in tears from the pain and guilt he held inside, and the horrible memories that haunted him.
It had been a little over a year since he last saw his son, and his then five year old's face still inhabited his mind, day and night, even in his dreams. Even now, he could still hear his son giggling and laughing when he played games with him, all the milestones in his life, how he had been learning to speak... Just thinking about the first time his son said 'daddy' to him brought tears to his eyes. He hadn't even meant to have a baby, nor did he ever think he'd have a child considering he leaned more towards men, but thanks to dating a girl for the first time, he had been graced with the most precious person in his life despite the tragic circumstances surrounding his son's birth.
His old girlfriend and he had both gotten somewhat drunk one night, and ended up having sex. Low and behold, she'd gotten pregnant. It was difficult because she was ill but she didn't want to give up the baby, and neither did he even though they were drifting apart romantically though they were still good friends and it would have been easier on her. Unfortunately, after the baby's birth, she got worse and worse until she became terminally ill. It had hurt terribly for her to die, but fortunately, they had the chance to spend some last time together, talk everything over and agree that he'd take care of Braig, so he wasn't as sad as he could have been when she finally died, thankfully in peace.
From then on, at only seventeen, he became a father to a beautiful baby boy, Braig. He didn't even know where he had gotten the name from, but it seemed to be the perfect name for his son.
"Braig..." Xigbar murmured under his breath, continuing to stare at the photo, temporarily lost in some of the good memories until he heard his cellphone ringing, not expecting a call this early. Usually, he didn't 'wake up' until sometimes in the afternoon, according to his few friends. In reality, he woke up every day early in the morning to go search for any sign of his son, regardless of how little information he had, and just came back in the afternoon, napped, and then officially came out.
He snapped out of his little trance, sighing and reached over, grabbing his phone off his nightstand and glancing at the little caller ID. Axel, it read, in little pixelated letters. He hesitated slightly, not really feeling like talking, but he answered the call anyways, just in case it was something important. At the very least, talking to Axel might make him feel a little better since the man was his closest friend.
"Hey, Ax.." Xigbar used a yawn to disguise his tired voice, making it seem as if the phone call had actually woken him up.
"Morning, Xig! Ohh... did I wake you up? Sorry, if I did." He heard Axel laugh sheepishly on the other end of the phone. "You seem kinda down recently, so me and Rox were taking Ven to get some pizza, and we were wondering if you wanted to come with us. Maybe it'd make you feel a bit better."
"Nah, I think I'll pass this time, I've got a bunch of errands ta run. Sorry." He doubted the offer would This was always the time that he went off searching for information about where his son could be, and he didn't want them involved. He didn't want them to know about the loss of his son... about his failure as a parent. The guilt he held was like an open, festering wound that refused to heal until it at least got closure. He didn't think he'd ever get over having his son taken from him, not until he either found him alive, or died trying. He didn't want to think of finding him dead, or not finding him at all despite the high possibility of his death.
"Don't worry about it, we can hang out some other time. If you want, we could bring you back something, I know you're even worse at cooking than me!"
"Yeah, that'd be nice." Xigbar chuckled slightly, albeit half-heartedly. "Think I'll take pepperoni, large too. Thanks, Ax. I'll pay ya back when ya bring it over."
"Okay, one pepperoni coming up. And you don't have to pay me back! Just enjoy the pizza when I get it to you. We'll probably be by around... two o'clock, maybe?"
"Alrighty. I should be back by then."
"Gotcha. Well, we've got to head out now. See you in a bit, Xig!"
"See ya later, Ax."
Xigbar sighed after he hung up his phone, setting it back on the nightstand before he wandered over to his dresser, socks making a soft dragging noise on the carpet, not bothering to remove his pajamas since it was cold enough that he needed the extra clothes to stay warm. He opened his dresser, slipping on a pair of older black jeans and a warm sweater. Twilight Town had beautiful summers, but terribly harsh winters full of heavy snow, and the occasional blizzard. If his son was alive out there... was he cold, wherever he could be? Could he be hungry? Was he even sheltered from the cold and snow? His son was so young, he wouldn't be able to take care of himself properly. The questions never ended, not even when he dreamed, having nightmares about his son freezing in the snow and wind, starving, on the verge of death in some cold, dark corner, or wandering around terrified and cold, calling out for him...
Blank gold eyes came jolted into focus as his body twitched violently, brow heavy with sweat, and all he could hear in his mind was his son's voice calling out for him, trembling and weak. Already he could feel a sickening curtain of despair and fear starting to drop itself over him, trying to poison his thoughts with soul crushing mental images and fill him with more doubt than he already had. He swallowed thickly, shuddering, feeling a terrible, aching cold with each beat of his heart that made him feel numb and ill. Running his hand over his face, he pulled away from the dresser and moved to the bathroom, trying to distract himself from the horrifying thoughts at least slightly.
He grabbed a cloth from the bathroom closet before washing his face with cold water, vaguely glad it woke him up a little more. As he raised up, water dripping off his chin, he stared at his reflection in the mirror for a moment with tired eyes, and for a moment, Xigbar was surprised by how tired and sullen he appeared. All the exhausting searching, the seemingly never ending failure, depression, all while running on barely a couple hours of sleep a night was slowly damaging his body. He could tell by the frequent headaches, his severe depression deepening, his whole body generally aching, the dark bags under his eyes, and he had even hallucinated a few times. He tried so hard to sleep better to help at least slightly, but nightmares and everything else against him seemed intent on keeping him sleep deprived and almost sickly.
Drying his face off, he finished the small piece of his morning routine, leaving the bathroom with a blank expression on his face. The man returned to his room, going to his nightstand and grabbing the photo of his son off the nightstand, carefully slipping it into his pocket like he always did. He never left his room without the photo in his pocket; he couldn't bring himself too. His wallet and phone were taken away and moved to his other pocket before he grabbed his heavy jacket and fur aviator's hat from his closet, gloves from his drawer's nightstand, and his boots, slipping them all on. He exited his small apartment, slowly making his way down the few flights of stairs until he reached the bottom and left the building, immediately hit with the everyday hustle and bustle of Twilight Town and the freezing air. Fortunately, it wasn't loud, but even more so, he really only heard adults. He couldn't stand to hear children, even now. All it would make him think about was Braig and it would just break his damaged heart even more.
Xigbar let out a slow breath, zipping his jacket up and pulling his hat down over his ears more, but even then he still felt cold. Pushing away dark and familiar thoughts, he started down the snow dusted street, glancing up at the dark gray sky that seemed like it might spit out more snow and he didn't doubt it would; the weatherman has said it would be snowing for the next week and a half at least. As if searching wasn't difficult enough, he'd have to do it in the snow. He tried to distract himself from his thoughts regarding his son's possible wellbeing and just focus on his task.
He walked down the street, hands in his pockets, heading for the tram station to make his way to a section of town he had only partially 'interviewed' so far. A year, and he still hadn't searched and asked around most of Twilight Town, and every day he knew more and more things had be searched. He had gone to the police when the crime first happened, but the trail had long since gone cold and they had essentially given up save for a few cops who said they'd keep it on their desks, men he'd become friends over time they'd worked with him: Zack Fair, and his partner Reno Toanstin. They even assisted him sometimes with searching when they could besides just providing him possible sightings and little bits of information that could be relevant, anything that could help.
Usually he preferred to work alone, but he wouldn't have minded having them with him on his current trip. The part of town he was going to was one of the more seedy and a dangerous part of town, and he didn't own a weapon. Never had, not wanting to have something that dangerous around his son, even if he would have been responsible and kept it in a safe place. He'd call them, but that wouldn't be right, they had jobs to do and other cases to work on. He wouldn't pull away just because it was dangerous though; his son meant more to him than danger. Zack and Reno had gotten him a little information, sightings of various children near a plain building, and one of them, they had said, resembled Braig. He would be damned if he wouldn't check out the building. He knew he had to be careful, because if he was gone, there would be no one to continue searching for his son, but he had to go; it was another chance he could find Braig.
Xigbar shivered lightly, passing by groups of chattering people as he stepped up to the mostly empty tram stop, glancing at the sign to see if he was on time or had to wait; fortunately, it was arriving in just three minutes, if it was on time.
Waiting, and trying to keep warm, soon enough the tram arrived, and he got on without a word, pulling out his wallet and paying an even four Munny for the ticket. He took it with a quiet 'thanks', sitting in an empty seat near the middle of the bus. Idly watching a few more people shuffle onto the bus, he turned his attention to his surroundings outside, staring at random people as the tram lurched and began to slowly move its way down the track.
Xigbar let a sigh roll off his chapped lips as he stared at the people and builds that passed by in a very light blur, pulling out his phone and checking his texts, specifically one from Zack. His eyes glanced at the pixelated letters and numbers, wanting to make sure he had the address right not to mention, it wasn't like he had much to do besides keep his hope down so his inevitable disappointment wouldn't be as great.
Almost forty-five minutes later after switching trams a few times, and having to walk his way into the district of Twilight Town, Xigbar arrived in what he hoped was an area in the general vicinity of where he was headed to. He shivered slightly, digging his hands into his pockets more to pull out his phone and check the address yet again before glancing up at the nearby rusty signpost. 22502 Olblen Road, it read in faded white letters. He knew the city all too well, so he still had to go down and over several streets before he arrived at the building Zack gave him an address to.
His phone was shoved back in his pocket as he headed down the mostly deserted street, boots crunching in the snow, and just as he expected, the clouds began crying tears of snow that quickly covered his clothes and his footsteps. He hated it, but he had the feeling he wouldn't be able to be out as long as he wanted if it snowed any harder.
Xigbar quickened his pace, glancing up at another rusty signpost as he passed it, turning down a nearby alleyway and crossing to the next street over with a breathy sigh and a silvery puff of breath that followed. Continuing down the street, he pulled his hat down more as a howling gust of wind came by, blowing snow into his already cold face. He turned down another alleyway to cross to the next street and to hide from the wind, inching closer and closer to the address.
Like every time before, he could feel his heart start to race more as he slowly made his way to the building, crossing the last few streets, fueled by a mixture of fear, hope, and dread. As he emerged from another alleyway, Xigbar looked up the street and at the faded numbers on old apartment buildings. The building was just up at the street, and he had to wonder if the information would lead to finding his son, or another failure, and all he could think about was the latter. Usually the information he received was possible sightings so most likely, he'd probably just see another black haired child that faintly resembled Braig. Whatever happened, his hopes would probably be cruelly crushed again under life's spiked boot and squished into the metaphorical ground.
Xigbar approached the plain, unassuming building, an almost sad expression on his scarred face as he examined the place. Had Zack really gotten a possible sighting from here? The building looked like it was long since abandoned. Wait... did that mean whatever kid, possibly his Braig, they saw was homeless, possibly? He swallowed hard, heart seemingly skipping a beat at the mental thought and image, hoping that the homeless part wasn't true.
Snow falling heavier, he stood there for a moment more before heading towards the building more, shaking the snow off of him. As he got closer to the building, he idly watched a black, weirdly unmarked van approaching the building. Suspicious, but maybe someone was moving or something. Or maybe it was him, thinking of the stories children and such were told about avoiding strangers and vans, all of which served to remind him of Braig's kidnapping. He slowed his walk slightly, wanting to possibly see what was going on, but not seem suspicious himself.
Despite the snow fall muffling sounds, he heard the motor go off when the van parked and the doors open. He glanced up, watching two men get out, a tall black haired man with what looked like dreadlocks and sideburns, and another, shorter man with long, slightly spiked blue hair, both in heavy coats and hats. They weren't watching, but just to be safe, he ducked into the nearest alleyway, peeking around the corner with a curious, but worried look in his eye. Xigbar watched the two men shut their doors, look around then go around to the back of the van and open the back doors. His breath hitched, and his eyes widened. The back of the van was full of children, at least four of them, maybe more, all between the ages of five and eight. Why on earth would two men be transporting children to a plain building?
Xigbar couldn't stop the sickening and horrible thoughts than ran through his mind like race horses, and it only for a moment did he look away when the men glanced around a second time. He swallowed thickly, a terrible sense of dread and something he couldn't explain washing over him as he watched them herd the children out of the van. As soon as his eyes laid on the second to last child to get out, it felt like his heart stopped and time itself came to a stand still, and he thought he might collapse.
Pitch black hair that was barely flipped up at the ends that immediately became tussled by the shrieking wind, a pointed little nose red from the cold, bright gold eyes that held fear, and... a little scar on his forehead from where he hit his head on the coffee table when he was three.
It was Braig.
He knew it in his heart. He was Braig's father, he has raised him from the time he was a newborn baby that always kept him or woke him at two o'clock for a nighttime bottle of milk to up until he was so cruelly stolen from him. Every single synapse in his body was screaming at him that it was his son, he looked... no, he was Braig. It had to be him; he wasn't even remotely thinking of it, but his brain wasn't letting him think it wasn't Braig. He didn't care where they were going in that building, he was going to get his son back.
It took all of Xigbar's willpower to keep himself from bolting over and snatching his son away from the men. He forced himself to stay put, watching the men herd the children into the building, blood boiling when he saw the black haired man push the boy he thought, and seemed sure was his son slightly.
Xigbar only emerged from the alleyway when he saw the men leave the building several minutes later, get back into the van, and drive off. More intent in his footsteps than ever before, he hurried to the entrance of the building. For a moment, he paused, staring at the door, trying to brace himself for whatever he might expect, not thinking of the danger he could be putting himself in. Without another thought, he opened the door and stepped in, instantly greeted by a surprising inside. The inside was completely different from the outside, the walls a deep red, and the room itself was plain, nothing there except a door near the far wall, front desk with a computer, and an utterly emotionless looking man with spiked silver hair and tan skin at the desk.
Swallowing hard, he walked up to the desk as inconspicuously as possible, wondering what in the world he had stepped into and what was behind the door. It was the only place those men could have taken what he desperately hoped was his son.
"Can I help you, sir?" The man asked in a bleak monotone, staring at him with emotionless, but almost bored amber eyes.
"Uh, yeah..." Xigbar paused for a moment, honestly having no clue how to go about this besides the usual 'have you seen this kid' questions he went through. Despite the intense determination, it was starting to dawn on him that he had know idea what he was getting into, and he hadn't thought about calling Zack and Reno when he saw; it was too late and suspicious to do it now.
None of his few friends or coworkers had ever known about his past, or what happened to Braig, never even suspected it because of how good he had become at trying to seem... happy, fine with life. Maybe those basic 'acting' skills could help him somehow.
"'m lookin' for a kid. Six years old," He said the words as carefully as possible, making sure not to speak too quickly or too slowly.
The amber eyed man looked Xigbar over carefully with a discerning eye before typing some information into the computer.
"Come with me." He spoke up when he was done a minute later, heading for the door, and Xigbar followed without a word. He didn't let onto it, but amid the hope and dread, he was terrified of what he could have stepped into, but he had to do this. It had to have been his son being lead into the building.
The silver haired man turned the handle and opened the door, letting Xigbar step in first before he followed, letting the door shut behind them with a 'click' as it locked. He looked around the small room which help a metal detector, and the sort of things like in an airport security checkpoint. He had his ideas about what the place could be, but some of the worst had to be crossed off. If it was drug trafficking or something, they wouldn't just let him in like this, plus they had brought in children.
Without a word, the silver haired man pushed him through the metal detector and checked him over, and Xigbar managed to suppress a shudder, reminded of times he'd rather forget. After a few moments of more searching, the man stated he was cleared and let him go through the doorway. Heart pounding in his chest, he couldn't help but stare down the long hallway full of rooms, the same deep red as the front room, absolutely sickened and horrified by the faint sounds he heard, but there was no disguising that it was a mixture of moans, crying, and other sounds he didn't want to know about.
"We have many six year old children available." The man's voice almost startled Xigbar. "Do you have a gender preference or does it not matter?"
"Male..." Xigbar looked back at the man, hoping the desperation in his eyes was hidden.
"Do you want me to bring a line-up of boys for you to select, a random one, or do you have a particular boy in mind?"
"Particular... Black hair, gold eyes, and a small scar on the forehead." Xigbar used a portion of his willpower to keep his voice from shaking, not liking what he heard. He used to watch crime TV shows, he'd heard the possible things Braig could have been kidnapped for, the things the man said, the sounds he was hearing... All of them pointed him in a direction he hoped he'd never have to face, but it was all becoming a horrible reality. This was some sort of a brothel for child prostitution, and if that boy was Braig, then... he was in this. His son had been forced into it.
Without a word, the man lead Xigbar to a room farther down the hallway, opening the door for him. Xigbar stepped inside, looking at the simply furnished room: a bed, nightstand, lamp, and not much else.
"I will bring Braig to you in a few minutes. Wait here." And the door was shut behind him.
Xigbar let out a shuddery breath, stepping over and sitting on the bed, feeling like his world was crashing into him. He... He had finally found his son. A year of searching, tearing the city apart looking for him while struggling with so many things, and he could finally see his boy again. He wanted so badly to be happy, and he was, but all he could think about was what Braig had been forced into... Child prostitution of all things, violated by all manner of sick and vile perverts, sold for money. So many things could have been done to Braig... He didn't want to imagine it, but all sorts of sick images flooded into his mind and he felt like crying. No, he had to hold himself together, for his son and for himself. Whatever happened to Braig and whatever happened today, he was getting his son out of this place as soon as they reunited and nothing was going to stop him.
Minutes ticked by like hours as he waited silently, biting his chapped bottom lip and tapping his foot on the flooring until the door opened again, and a silvery haired man pushed a spooked looking black haired child into the into the room.
Xigbar breath hitched as he stared down at Braig, barely hearing or noticing that the door had been closed. He looked almost exactly like he did in the photo in his pocket, and just like he did when he was six.
"Braig..." Xigbar said softly, breaking into a watery grin, unable to help hold back the tears that gathered and stung his eyes. "D-Do ya remember me? Do ya know who I am?"