Tloj: Hi, this is Tloj. I have some exciting news! I have become inspired to write! This is a collection of random things me and my brother Reagan have come up with rather recently. At least, at this moment in time. It mostly has to do with Dragon Ball Z, and for you to understand, you must first watch Dragon Ball Z. After that, watch Dragon Ball Z Abridged by Team Four Star. All of them. Including specials. Or, just watch Abridged and all specials and skip Dragon Ball Z. These stories are AU, and are not meant to make fun of Dragon Ball Z, Abridged, or anything else. It is, for all intents and purposes, supposed to make you laugh until you cry. Or, cry until you go insane and start laughing. Whichever. And now, all aboard my train of thought! I'd better catch it before it leaves the station!
I do not own any of these characters, only the story and any semblance of a plot. Dragon Ball is owned by various companies, the only one I can actually remember the name of being Toei Entertainment. Dragon Ball Z Abridged is owned by the before-mentioned companies and Team Four Star. You know, because they're the ones who abridged it.
Cookies to the person who can guess, without looking, the episode of Abridged that this is based around.
Ghost Nappa was happy. Not insanely happy, or conquer the universe happy. Just Team Four Star Dragon Ball Z Abridged Nappa happy. Just like always. He enjoyed being happy. Especially since his best buddy Vegeta wasn't happy. Ever. Sure, there were times that he would laugh and smile, but Vegeta just wasn't the happy type. So, Ghost Nappa was happy for the both of them!
Of course, he was also a bit sad. Since he was a ghost, he couldn't keep his modeling career! Plus, that short midget bald guy cut his face. But he didn't mind. The midget probably missed a bug and hit him instead. Besides, he was bald too! They were bald brothers, and he couldn't stay mad at a bald brother!
Now, where was he again? Oh, right, on Planet Namek. He didn't know why, but Vegeta decided to fight Frieza. I mean, seriously! Lord Frieza?! Sure, there was the whole Planet Vegeta blowing up thing, but no one could defeat Frieza! Well, except for the Legendary Super Saiyan. His name was Bardock. Say, wasn't that Kakarot person's dad named Bardock too? He wondered if they were the same person. If only he could find out!
"Hey, wait! I'm a ghost now!" Ghost Nappa exclaimed. "And I'm sure Bardock is dead. Maybe I can go visit him. But first, I need to check on Vegeta!"
Pleased with this course of action, he flew until he was on Namek and found Vegeta in a lake. Vegeta was thinking to himself, "It should be right here. Right here… Where the hell is it?!"
Nappa decided to voice his opinion as Vegeta hit a realization. "He took the Dragon Ball."
Vegeta could scream so loud! Nappa was amazed at how loudly he could yell! He should totally join the opera or something. You know, to make himself some money since Nappa wasn't around to do his modeling career. But, now that he had checked on Vegeta, he could go visit Bardock!
He shifted planes of existence until he was on Snake Way, the fastest place to get anywhere and find anyone. He wondered if Princess Snake would mind if he came over for a snack, but he decided that she would just mutter something then chase him around a little. She always did whenever he came for food. But still, it was good food. Meh, maybe on the way back.
He loved that on Snake Way, he grew legs again. He didn't understand why, but he loved his legs. Better than a mermaid tail, anyways. If he had his legs, then that meant he had his Saiyan tail too. He wondered why Great Ape forms required tails. Especially since apes don't have tails. Monkeys have tails, not apes! He learned that from a human Earth channel show. It was called Veggie-Fruit or something. It was such a catchy song too. If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey! If it does have a tail, then it's not an ape, it's a monkey, 'cuz a monkey has a tail, and if it doesn't have a tail it's an ape! SO CATCHY!
Anyways, he roamed around until he found the dead Planet Vegeta and the Saiyan race. They lived on their dead home Planet Vegeta. Of course, since it looked exactly the way it did before Frieza destroyed it, I guess it would technically be a Ghost Vegeta Planet, now wouldn't it? Anyways, he roamed around, asking for directions, until he came unto a place that held Bardock and his team. He wondered if Bardock talked like Kakarot. Kakarot was so funny! Nappa didn't know why Vegeta didn't laugh at Kakarot's jokes. They were funny jokes, just like Nappa's!
He walked inside and looked around. It looked surprisingly like a yellow cloud room with no ceiling, just like Snake Way. Maybe it was a back door or something. He found Bardock standing there, fists clenched and gritting his teeth. "Oh, wow! He looks a lot like a Legendary Super Saiyan!" Nappa said to himself.
"Mister Bardock! I'm Nappa, and I have some questions to ask you!" Nappa exclaimed.
Bardock looked at him and growled, "I'll answer all your questions, as long as you get rid of this imbecile!"
Nappa looked in the direction that Bardock was pointing, and saw a strange alien.
"Oh, wow! A Frieza Planet Four-One-Niner! I thought they were extinct!" Nappa exclaimed.
"I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!" It exclaimed.
"Oh wow! You can see the future?!" Nappa asked excitedly. "What's my future?!"
"YOU WILL BECOME A GHOST!" It answered.
"Oh no! But if I become a ghost, I'll have to quit my modeling career! Oh, wait, I am a ghost! And I was fired from my modeling career! NOOOO!" Nappa wailed.
Bardock face palmed and growled, "I'm surrounded by idiots!"
Nappa asked, "Well, okay, so I'm a ghost. Can you tell me the future?"
"I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!" It exclaimed again.
"Yes, I know that. So what's my future?" Nappa asked.
"YOU WILL BECOME A GHOST!"
Bardock groaned while covering his face while Nappa gasped and exclaimed, "Oh no! But if I become a ghost, I'll have to quit my modeling career! Oh, wait, I am a ghost! And I was fired from my modeling career! NOOOO!"
"Oh my God. Shut up, both of you!" Bardock roared, silencing both of them.
"Oh, sorry. So, can I ask you my questions?" Nappa inquired.
"Fine, just shut him up!" Bardock shouted, pointing at the fish-faced alien.
"I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!" It screeched again.
"Really? Can you tell me my future?!" Nappa asked excitedly.
Bardock could feel himself getting a migraine. "Please ask me your questions so you can leave already!" He shouted.
"Oh, right." Nappa said, turning to Bardock. "Are you the Legendary Super Saiyan?"
Bardock crossed his arms, thinking about that. "Hm… I guess I was."
"Are you also Kakarot's father?!" Nappa asked excitedly.
"Kakarot… I haven't heard that name in a long time! I think so. Why? Is he still alive? I've been dead for a long time. And so has this guy."
"YOU TOO CAN SEE THE FUTURE!" It screeched.
"I KNOW ALREADY, YOU KEEP TELLING ME! STUPID ASS PSYCHIC POWERS!" Bardock roared.
"Yeah, he is. He kinda killed me. And defeated my best friend Vegeta." Nappa said.
"Vegeta? You mean King Vegeta?" Bardock inquired.
"No, the prince! King Vegeta made me stick with his son so that he doesn't die to Frieza. Speaking of which, did you know that Vegeta is a prison-"
"I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!" The alien yelled.
"…Bitch." Nappa finished.
Bardock laughed, saying, "Okay, that's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time!"
"Well, now that I know that you're the Legendary Super Saiyan, I guess I'd better go now. C'mon, Mister Alien Guy!" Nappa said, leaving.
"DON'T FORGET THAT YOU CAN SEE THE FUTURE!" The alien exclaimed, following Nappa away.
Bardock groaned, slamming the door behind them.
"So Mister Alien, where should we go next?" Nappa asked.
"I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!" It responded.
"You're right! We should check on Vegeta!" Nappa exclaimed excitedly.
The two turned to go to Vegeta, but paused when Nappa heard someone shout at them. Rather rudely too.
"Hey Jackals! Where the hell am I?!"
Nappa turned around and said, "Oh, hey Dodoria! You're a ghost too!"
Dodoria looked at herself (You read that right) and shouted, "I'm dead?! I can't be dead!"
"But you're not dead! You're a ghost!" Nappa pointed out.
"What the hell's the difference?!" Dodoria roared.
"I dunno. But this guy can see the future!" Nappa said, motioning to his fish-faced companion.
"I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!" The alien agreed.
"Oh God, not a Frieza Planet Four-One-Niner. I thought they were extinct!" Dodoria groaned.
"This one's been following the Legendary Super Saiyan Bardock. But you don't believe in Super Saiyans, so I'm just gonna check on Vegeta now. Wanna join us?" Nappa asked.
"Well… I am a ghost now. So… I guess I don't have anything else to be doing." Dodoria muttered.
"Great! But once we get there, I'm gonna be the only one to talk to him. He would probably commit suicide if you two showed up. And, just saying, that would be a real dick move." Nappa said, the three flying back to where Nappa had last left Vegeta.
He came just in time to hear Vegeta growl, "I am here for it."
"Here for what?" Nappa asked.
"Dragon…Ball… Ineed… thatDragonBall…Giveittome…Theoneyoutook…Needmywish…" Vegeta babbled incoherently.
"…I think your rage broke, Vegeta…" Nappa said carefully.
"SHUT UP, GHOST OF NAPPA!" Vegeta snapped.
"What was that?" Krillin asked nervously.
"I'MNOTCRAZY!YOU'RECRAZY!ESPECIALLYYOU, NAPPA!" Vegeta roared.
"Eeeey…" Nappa said confusedly before disappearing.
He appeared next to the others and said, "Uh, he doesn't want to be disturbed…"
"So… What do we do now?" Dodoria asked, feeling bored.
"I dunno… Wanna play hide and seek?"
"Sure."
"I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!"
"Really?! What's my future?!"
"Gods, I'm surrounded by idiots."
Nappa turned around, surprised to hear a new voice, and was surprised to find Raditz.
"Oh, hey Raditz! How was hell?" Nappa greeted.
"Gods, don't remind me! I was stuck with these two creepy German guys. They didn't even know proper English! What the hell's a sveat?! And what's a sqvat?!" Raditz growled.
"I dunno… but this guy can see the future!"
"I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!"
"…This is going to be a loooong day." Raditz groaned.
"Oh, that reminds me! Did you know that Vegeta's a prison-"
"I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!"
"…Bitch."
Tloj: Aaaand I'll end it right here. The second half I will try to get out next Sunday. I assure you that it will be even more entertaining than this one! Why? Because Vegeta becomes a ghost and be tortured even more by Nappa! Mwahahaha! Until next time, R&R and stuff.